I know it’s a bit premature to talk about St. Patrick’s Day. I also know there has never been a year in which an exception is more warranted. Let’s not lie to ourselves. Around this time last year, the world was just starting to fall apart as a global pandemic started raging. Everything after that was basically an extended nightmare.
It was right around St. Patrick’s Day that many parts of the world went into lockdown. That was around the time movie theaters closed, major events got cancelled, and everyone had to get used to regularly wearing a mask. It was a dark time and if you had St. Patrick’s Day plans, you had to cancel them. Even if you tried to celebrate on your own, the news was just too dire.
It’s been a year since then and while things are still bad, we’re tantalizingly close to the end of this pandemic. With three vaccines now in our arsenal and vaccination efforts underway, we have a valid reason to celebrate. Even if you don’t care for St. Patrick’s Day or the history behind it, this is the perfect time to make an exception.
Whether it involves having a drink or watching college basketball, I encourage everyone to do something extra this year. Get together with family. Go out if you can, but continue to wear a mask and wash your hands. Use this holiday as a prelude to better times. I know they can’t some soon enough, but they’ll be here eventually.
I don’t know how I’ll spend my St. Patrick’s Day. I just know I’m going to try and do something festive and fun. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help get you into the St. Patrick’s Day spirit. We need to start having good times again. Let this St. Patrick’s Day be the first.
“Confidence won’t make you better in bed, but it can fool others into thinking you are.”
“A woman’s love for her man is directly proportional to her willingness to wear uncomfortable lingerie.”
“Do we really want to know what inspired the inventor of the butt plug?”
“Dance like no one is watching and make love like you’re being filmed.”
“When it comes to making love, searching for your lover’s G-spot is every bit as important as finding their G-spot.”
“Learning things the hard way is still enjoyable when it comes to oral sex.”
“Pillow talk is the primary commercial sponsor for all lovemaking.”
There was a time in my life when I hated running. I’ve made no secret of that. Around that same time, I was not into fitness, exercise, or anything of the sort. Gym was one of my least favorite classes and I saw running as nothing more than extended pain endurance. Needless to say, that had a huge impact on my overall health and body image.
As I got older, I came to appreciate exercise. A big part of that process was learning to appreciate running. I admit, it was still a chore at first. I still disliked the strain and soreness that came with it. That didn’t stop me from pushing myself. Even though it was painful at times, I got better at it. In time, I came to really enjoy it. It’s at a point where I actually enjoy running.
However, through this process, I learned there’s a big difference between running hard and a simple jog. There’s certainly a place for a light jog every now and then. That can be plenty enjoyable and beneficial, in its own right. Hard running is different. Hard running will test your body and your mind, but in the best possible way.
It also has a unique sex appeal to it. There’s no way around that. You’re sweaty, you’re breathing hard, and you’re grunting constantly. I don’t think I need to explain why that has some sordid parallels. Whether you’re a man, woman, or something in between, it’s a sign of strength and endurance. That comes in handy in any sexy situation.
With the weather getting warmer and the world emerging from a global pandemic, the time is right for everyone to start planning for a time when you can show off your sex appeal. We’ve all been pent up and anxious for so long. It’s time to start pushing ourselves and a little hard running will help get our bodies back to form.
Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you motivated, among other things. Enjoy!
“If you’re not willing to share a bathroom with someone, then should you really share your genitals with them?”
“Sleeping with a douchebag can be as risky as receiving oral sex from a cannibal.”
“It’s usually safe to assume that someone with a good imagination masturbates more frequently than most.”
“Someone with significant credit card debt is going be more prone to getting involved in S&M, by default.”
“Sleeping with someone who failed sex ed counts as thrill sex on some levels.”
“An important part of finding love is realizing what weird someone does to make you horny.”
“Polyamory only works when everyone involved freely admits just how horny they are.”
What makes someone a college, high school, or overall sweetheart?
That’s one of those questions that has multiple answers. I’d even argue it has more right answers than wrong answers. We all have that special someone that we hold in high regard. We think of them and our hearts and minds just feel like they’ve been dipped in chocolate. It’s a sweet, sentimental feeling, in more ways than one.
I say that as someone who did have a college sweetheart. I was too miserable and socially inept to find someone in high school, but I was lucky enough to connect with a very special girl while I was in college. While our relationship didn’t ultimately work out, I still see what we shared as a positive overall experience. I certainly hope she feels the same.
That’s the great thing about having a sweetheart. Even if they become an ex-love at some point, you still appreciate the depths of what you shared You still enjoy the memories you forged together. Some are even lucky enough to marry their sweethearts. I consider those connections to be extra special.
Whatever you call them, they often form an important aspect of our romantic outlook. What we share with our sweethearts helps shape our understanding of romance, intimacy, and everything in between. It often happens in our youth, but it can happen at any point in your life. You don’t always know it at the time, but it becomes beautifully obvious with the benefit of hindsight.
Whether it’s a fond memory or someone you’re still with to this day, take this as an opportunity to appreciate those sweethearts in your life, whatever form they take. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to assist. Enjoy!
“If finding true love is like trying to win the lottery, then your genitals are your good luck charm.”
“Sending a married man to a strip club is like sending a pervert to a panty factory.”
“Isn’t it ironic that the sexiness of an underwear is directly proportional to how much it makes others want to see you take it off?”
“There’s a non-zero chance you or a sibling was conceived during a kinky sex act.”
“There’s a big difference between someone who gets laid often and someone with low standards.”
“It’s very telling that those who want to punish are people that even sluts wouldn’t sleep with.”
“It takes a certain level of humility for someone to readily use sex toys to please their lovers.”
I know Valentine’s Day is over. I also know it was one of those days where some men were willing to tolerate watching romance movies/chick flicks in order to get romantic with their special someone. I have no issue with that. Whatever anyone can do to make things romantic with their lover, I’m generally for.
For me, however, chick flicks aren’t just for Valentine’s Day. Cheesy romance stories aren’t just for getting a prospective lover’s attention. I’ve already said it before, but I’ll say it again and without shame.
I love chick flicks.
I love romance movies, in general.
I’m also a straight man who loves football, comics, and video games. I understand that’s a strange combination. I also don’t deny that there were times when I was genuinely embarrassed by my love of romance. I feel like there’s still a taboo for straight men who enjoy romance, but it has gotten better in recent years. I hope things continue to improve.
The idea of enjoying a good chick flick when it’s not Valentine’s Day is part of that improvement. I encourage anyone, regardless of gender or preferences, to explore the genre. Search Netflix, Hulu, or whatever streaming service you happen to have for a quality romance movie. You might be surprised by how much you enjoy them.
Not every romance movie will have the same effect. In fact, I would argue that romance movies are notoriously hit or miss with much more misses than most. However, when they do hit, they hit you in a way that gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling in the best possible way. No matter your gender, it’s a great feeling.
Valentine’s Day may be over, but quality romance can and should be enjoyed all year round. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help inspire your inner romantic. Enjoy!
“Kids who don’t learn to share grow into adults who skip foreplay.”
“Loneliness is basically depression combined with anti-horniness.”
“A love song is basically poetry that’s trying to get laid.”
“No man ever learns how to politely ask for a blowjob and too few even try to learn.”
“Sophistication is just a fancy way of telling someone you can afford to pay for their kinks.”
“If it gets you laid somehow, then you can’t call it a waste of time.”
“If kids are the future, then does that make orgasms the prologue?”
Sometimes, the calendar doesn’t always work out favorably. When Christmas is on a Tuesday and Halloween is on a Monday, it really hinders your ability to make the most of it. Every now and then, by either math or fluke, the calendar works out just perfectly. I’d say a year in which Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday is as good a timing as you can hope for.
I say that as someone who hasn’t always enjoyed Valentine’s Day. Yes, I love romance and I’m not ashamed of that, but Valentine’s Day is hard to celebrate when you’re single. Now, I have a better excuse than usual for being single this time. We’re still in the midst of a pandemic. It’s not exactly easy to get out there and date when we’ve been in quarantine for months on end.
Valid or not, it’s still an excuse and they don’t make Valentine’s Day feel less lonely. At the same time, it gives those lucky enough to have that special someone make the most of this day. It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s Sunday. You’ve got an entire day to celebrate your romance. Take full advantage of that.
Even if you can’t go out as much as usual, find a way to be romantic. Make a nice dinner for one another. Watch a movie that gets your shared passions going in all the right ways. Share an activity, even the non-sexy type, that you enjoy doing together. Every couple is different. Use this day to celebrate that. Love is a beautiful thing and it is worth celebrating.
To those lucky couples, I wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. To those who are still single like me, I say hang in there. Love is worth being patient for. To help bolster your Valentine’s Day spirit, here are some of special Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!
“There’s a good chance you’ve walked by someone who has pictured you naked.”
“To some extent, being really horny is like being hypnotized by your genitals.”
“A kink that leaves no scars or marks is barely a kink.”
“If pity sex weren’t a think, cowards would’ve gone extinct by now.”
“A true friend is someone you don’t mind telling about your porno stash.”
“Fear will keep you in line, but horniness will keep you motivated.”
“Making love without setting the mood is like eating a gourmet meal over the kitchen sink.”
The holiest of holy days for football fans has arrived!
Super Bowl LV is set to kick off in Tampa on this most glorious of annual sporting events. As a lifelong football fan, this is a day that’s near and dear to my heart. I don’t always care who’s playing. I just want to see a damn good game while eating chicken wings and drinking beer.
I’ve been eating light and working out more in preparation for this, as always. This is also one of those Super Bowls where you don’t really need to do much to hype it up. All the tag lines are there.
It’s Tampa Bay vs. Kansas City.
It’s Tom Brady versus Patrick Mahomes.
It’s the greatest quarterback of all time versus someone who could end up becoming the greatest.
I don’t doubt for a second that this is the match-up that the NFL marketing department hoped for when the playoff started. Even if you’re not a fan of either teams, you can’t deny the weight of this match-up. These are two great teams led by two of the best quarterbacks of our generation. I’m ready for this. My heart, body, and liver is just so ready.
I don’t think I need to say much more to excite my fellow football fans. For the rest of the day, it’s all about counting down the seconds to kick-off. In a year where every week was in doubt due to the pandemic, the fact we made it to the Super Bowl is a hell of an achievement. If the game is as great as advertised, then I’ll take that as a sign that better days are coming.
We’re almost home, fellow football fans. As we wait for kickoff, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help pass the time. Enjoy!
“You know you watch a lot of porn when you can tell whether or not someone has bleached their anus.”
“A threesome can only go really wrong or really right.”
“Evolution ensures that not too many people can have a pathetic loser fetish.”
“Innovation is the mother of all invention, but it’s the cool aunt of sex toys.”
“People who take themselves too seriously are a lot less likely to be adventurous in bed.”
“The best hand job will never measure up to an average blow job.”
“A love/hate relationship will leave you as conflicted as a virgin porn star.”
There are a lot of things that go into a good romantic setting. Some aren’t always within our control, but that just makes putting in the effort more important. There are a lot of things you don’t want to half-ass in life or in relationships. Romantic settings is one of them.
One element you can control has to do with lighting. I’m not just talking about candles and lamp shades, either. A romantic moment can stand out in many ways, but if the lighting is just right, you and your lover will remember it for all the right reasons.
How you get it to stand out depends on what a couple is into. When I was dating my girlfriend, we were both early risers. We enjoyed the subtle lighting of the morning sunrise. That usually meant drawing the shades in my bedroom just right to give us that perfect blend of morning sun. It made for some wonderful moments between us.
For others, it’s different. One of my old roommates was the opposite of a morning person. He and his girlfriend liked to keep things dark, but not pitch black. That usually meant extra dim lighting in which you couldn’t see much, but you could make out just enough to discern the sexy details. They liked that sort of mystery element and I can totally understand why.
When contemplating your own mood lighting, what kind do you and your lover prefer? Does it need to be bright or dim? Do you prefer candles or sunlight? What gets you and your lover in the best possible mood? Contemplate that as you read over these Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!
“People with a voyerism fetish make the worst spies.”
“Is it really possible to not discover a kink by accident?”
“A man who is good at puzzles has an advantage when it comes to pleasing a woman.”
“Your sense of modesty and shame is directly proportional to how little you’re willing to wear when receiving a pizza delivery.”
“Being sexually repressed and moving to Las Vegas is like hating football and moving to Green Bay.”
“A fight that ends in make-up sex can horribly skew your concept of foreplay.”
“Never mistake being in love for not wanting to go back to masturbating alone on weekends.”
I’m not a big fan of cold weather. I hope I’ve made that abundantly clear, if only through my fondness of beaches, bikinis, and sleeping naked. I can still manage it for the most part. I don’t mind wearing an extra layer for a few months. It’s not a big deal to me. However, there comes a point where the cold requires more than a light jacket.
As I write this, a polar vortex has descended around my area. Even if you don’t know much about weather, you kind of know what that means. These aren’t just a few days that were extra chilly. I’m now waking up to temperatures that I can count on one hand. There’s only so much coffee, hot chocolate, and whiskey can do to combat that.
These are the darkest parts of winter. It was bound to get worse before it got better. As bad as that can be, there are some silver linings. When it’s this cold out, your cuddling abilities become that much more important. If you’re lucky enough to have a lover by your side, this is the kind of weather where shared body heat is precious.
How you make that body heat is up to you. Your methods may depend on how frisky you’re feeling at that moment. Just do whatever best keeps you warm.
I certainly support the sexier efforts to endure a polar vortex. I don’t have a lover in my life at the moment. I hope that, when I eventually find one, I’ll be much more equipped to navigate times like this. It would certainly be more fun than sleeping under extra blankets every night.
For now, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help warm your spirit, among other things. Enjoy!
“There’s no right way to react to the revelation that someone has been to at least one orgy in their life.”
“True team players should have better sex lives, by default.”
“There’s a non-zero chance that someone was conceived during a song you heard today.”
“In real life, it’s hard for a great love story to not be R-rated at some point.”
“Like it or not, the existence of sluts and studs are a reason why the human race is successful.”
“You have to genuinely try to not be good at cuddling.”
“Ironically, orgasms are both a course of and a coping mechanism for regret.”
I enjoy being around other people who love to laugh.
Personally, I think having a good sense of humor makes someone more attractive, regardless of gender. Making someone laugh is almost as impactful as making them feel loved. However, it often seems like men are expected to be funny whereas a woman being funny is seen as an anomaly.
I honestly don’t understand that. I’ve been around men and women with a lousy sense of humor. I’ve also been around women who are legitimately funny. The girl I dated in college was one of them. She had a dirty mouth and a dirty sense of humor that I appreciated. It also helped she balanced that out with a sweeter, kinder side that I found genuinely attractive.
Over the years, I’ve made other women who funny in their own right. They have wit, charm, and a quirky mind that makes them downright endearing. I know there are those who claim women can never be as funny as men, but I don’t buy that for a second. I think, given all the successful female comedians over the years, that notion needs to die.
I don’t know when or where I’ll meet my future wife. I don’t know what she’ll look like, either. However, I’m fairly confident that she’ll have a good sense of humor. I look forward to laughing with her one day. In the meantime, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to honor all the women out there who make the world a funnier place. Enjoy!
“Making fun of a couple who are too affectionate is like slut shaming a famous porn star.”
“To convince someone that marriage is a sacred institution, you also have to convince them that threesomes are sacrilege.”
“The hornier you are, the less you care about where someone else’s lips have been.”
“Even the most sexually repressed people can’t escape the fact that they’re the result of someone else’s orgasm.”
“Sometimes, having a good relationship depends on how eager you are to give oral sex.”
“One does not simply ask politely for a three-way.”
“When you’re sexually repressed, what you see as porn becomes very skewed.”
Younger generations clash with older generations. The older people are appalled at how the youth are conducting themselves. They see them doing things and behaving in ways that they never would’ve imagined in their youth. It’s not new. In fact, it’s been happening since ancient times in some form or another.
It’s especially pronounced when sex enters the equation. Older people don’t like thinking about their kids having sex and young people don’t like thinking about their grandparents having sex. We know it happens. There are over 7 billion humans on this planet. It happens a lot. It just makes us both very uncomfortable.
From discomfort comes assumptions and from assumptions come irrational fears. It’s not always overt, but it’s present in popular perceptions. Personally, I’ve never heard someone over the age of 60 claim that young people today are far more responsible in managing their sexual behavior. I doubt anyone in that age group could say that with a straight face.
However, that’s not what actual, verifiable data says. According to recent research in Psychological Science, young people today are more responsible than ever when it comes to making decisions about their sex lives.
We examined risky sexual choice under the lens of rational decision-making. Participants (N = 257) completed a novel sexual-choice task in which they selected from among hypothetical sexual partners varying in physical attractiveness and in the probability that one would contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI) from a one-time sexual encounter with them. We found that nearly all participants evaluated the sexual-choice alternatives in a coherent fashion consistent with utility-based theories of rational choice. In subsequent analyses, we classified participants’ responses according to whether their sexual preferences were based on maximizing attractiveness or minimizing the risk of STIs. Finally, we established an association between sexual choice in our task and reported real-world sexual risk-taking.
It doesn’t just stop with responsible choices, either. There has been a relatively consistent trend over the past 40 years. Sexual activity, as a whole, has been going down, so much so that it’s a demographic concern. That has corresponded with a decline in teen pregnancy, abortion, and unwanted pregnancy.
That’s not to say there aren’t irresponsible young people in this world. There certainly are. I’ve known quite a few. Most people have. It’s just not this big, decadent trend. Cable news and popular media love to paint young people as these strange, tradition-hating deviants who seek to destroy our most precious institutions. They are simply wrong.
They’re also trying to sell you a bullshit narrative to get ratings, but that’s another story.
Even in matters not exclusive to sex, older generations still try to find ways to criticize these crazy young people. It’s become more popular in recent years to call anyone under 30 a cohort of over-confident narcissists. Some go so far as to say there’s a narcissism epidemic.
‘Somebody high in self-esteem values individual achievement, but they also value their relationships and caring for others,’ she says. ‘Narcissists are missing that piece about valuing, caring and their relationships, so they tend to lack empathy, they have poor relationship skills. That’s one of the biggest differences, those communal and caring traits tend to be high in most people with self-esteem but not among those who are high in narcissism.’
Again, this is a flawed and incomplete narrative. It’s also incompatible with with the notion that young people are somehow more decadent sexually. Among the key traits of narcissism is promiscuity and it’s not just related to the sexual kind.
It’s hard to be narcissistic and responsible for the same reason it’s hard to be relaxed and enraged. The human psyche just doesn’t work like that. Society, as a whole, doesn’t work like that either. It can’t. If young people really were as decadent and narcissistic as old people thought, then our civilization never would’ve made it this far.
I know I’ve brought up flawed assumptions about young people and their sex lives before. I doubt old people will stop complaining about the deviant, decadent behaviors of young people anytime soon, even if a mountain of data says they’re better-behaved than their predecessors.
The reason I bring it up now is because this is one of those years when we should all re-assess our perspectives. The grim events of this past year have affected everybody, young and old. It’s affected our society, our emotions, and our sex lives. A lot will change as a result of this year. Generations afterwards will feel it.
As someone who will one day become old and cranky, I hope to maintain a healthy perspective regardless of what happens. I don’t doubt that when I get to a certain age, I’ll see young people behaving in ways that I find shocking. Some of those shocking ways might involve their sex lives. If I ever have kids, that’s going to concern me.
At the same time, I imagine that part of me will envy those young people for having the time, energy, and passions to behave in such ways. On some levels, I think many older people share those feelings. Their youth is a memory. The days of breaking traditions and upsetting their elders is long gone because they’re not elder. It’s just part of life.
We can’t avoid it, at least not yet. I don’t know what kind of state the world will be in by the time I turn 60. I just know I’ll have plenty to complain about. The fact that young people are bucking those complaints gives me hope that it’ll be better than any false perception.
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