Tag Archives: love

May 1, 2017 · 6:59 am

What The NFL Draft Can Teach Us About Finding Romance

It was an eventful weekend for NFL fans. The 2017 NFL Draft is complete. Many are still buzzing, hung over, or complaining about what they’re team did, what they didn’t do, and how closer or farther they are from winning the Super Bowl. Ask any fan outside of Cleveland and they’ll probably say they’ll be playing for a Super Bowl at the end of the year.

To those of you who don’t give a damn about the draft and don’t get the appeal, take a deep breath. It’s over now. You don’t have to hear about trades, mock drafts, or guys named Mike Mayock for at least another eight months. Trust me, those months will go by fast though.

As an ardent NFL fan, which I’ve made clear on this blog before, I’ve always had mixed feelings about the draft. It’s always been more style than substance for me. I see my favorite teams picking players and I know in the back of my head that few of these players are going to make a lick of difference. Getting worked up about it feels like energy that could be better used telling more sexy stories.

That’s not to say it has no value. The NFL Draft is the raw ore from which the NFL’s players are forged. Whether they’re first round picks or undrafted, they become the iconic athletes that help make any sports league a success. Given the NFL’s $13 billion in revenue last year, it’s pretty damn clear that they’re doing something right.

In watching the NFL Draft, though, I found myself making some unusual connections between this bawdy spectacle and my own personal endeavors. Specifically, I saw a distinct parallel between the NFL Draft and it relates to our efforts at finding romance or telling kinky stories.

I know. That sounds like an odd collection of thoughts, especially from someone who talks a lot about sex robots on his blog. Bear with me. I promise there is some substance to these thoughts and it’s relevant to more than just aspiring erotica/romance writers.

The NFL Draft, at its core, is an elaborate job interview coupled with an investment opportunity. A finite number of teams looks at the vast pool of applicants and tries to determine which among them is worth development. That development costs time, money, and sometimes frustration. Any sport, be it football or jump rope, is going to involve wins and losses. It’s just part of the process.

In that sense, there are some uncanny similarities with how we go about seeking romantic partners. It’s not like just hiring a prostitute or having a one night stand. That’s more akin to hiring a plumber for a service. Finding a romantic partner is like finding someone you’re willing to share a home, a bathroom, and bank account with. There’s a lot more at stake.

In seeking romantic partners, you can’t just look at someone and determine whether they’re worth the emotional investment. Even if someone has tits the size of basketballs or a dick the size of an elephant’s tusk, you need to know more about someone to determine whether you want more than a one night stand.

NFL scouts, and the teams they work for, don’t get much value out of one night stands. They want to find players that will be part of their respective teams for the long haul, working hard for them and producing for them on the field. That’s why no scout will ever just look at a prospect on the service and decide on the spot whether they’re a fit for their team.

For those seeking meaningful romance, they need to be every bit as thorough as a competent NFL scout. They need to study a prospects measurables, immeasurables, and everything in between. It’s not enough to know whether someone is capable of loving you back, just like it’s not enough to know whether someone can physically play the game of football. You need to know that the chemistry is there.

It happens in the NFL all the time. Sometimes, a prospective player will have all the skills and intangibles to be a quality player. Unfortunately, they end up going to a team that doesn’t fit them. The chemistry isn’t there and they end up languishing, like someone caught in an unhealthy relationship.

One well-documented example in the NFL was Steve Young, a Hall-of-Fame quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers. Young was an undeniably talented player, but had the misfortune of being drafted by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at a time when they were among the worst teams in the league.

Then, after an overdue breakup, Young was traded the 49ers where he eventually took over after the team’s other Hall-of-Fame quarterback, Joe Montana, left for Kansas City. It turned out to be a great match. Young thrived in San Francisco, eventually culminating in a Super Bowl victory in 1994.

Looking at Steve Young’s story, you can draw some similarities to someone who ended up with someone in a place where it just wasn’t going to work. It took some effort from both sides to come together and an investment of resources to make something productive out of it. Replace football with love, passion, and having to share a bathroom and you’ve got yourself a template for forging a meaningful romance.

It’s also highlights something that a lot of NFL fans mistakenly believe about the NFL Draft. They’ll say it’s entirely a crap shoot. Some very smart and sincere people might even agree with it. If you look at the numbers, it seems logical. Even for first round draft picks, nearly a third of them end up leaving the team. For any pick below the fifth round, the odds are even worse.

However, to say the NFL Draft is a crap shoot is like saying love is only an anomaly. The fact that the NFL is so successful and finding love is such a prominent part of our lives is a clear indicator that there’s more than just random chance at work.

I don’t deny that there is some element of luck involved with the NFL Draft. Who knew that a sixth round draft pick from Michigan would go onto win five Super Bowls or that a number one overall pick from LSU would be better known for loving “purple drank” than throwing touchdown passes? Like finding love, sometimes you do need a bit of luck to be in the right place at the right time.

However, luck only goes so far. Players like Tom Brady and Joe Montana had legendary coaches like Bill Belichick and Bill Walsh teaching them. It goes both ways too. Those coaches are legendary because they could mold these players into the champions they eventually became. They need each other and together, they achieve their goals.

In meaningful love, it goes both ways. Whether you’re playing the role of a scout or a prospective player, you both need to make an investment. Those investments need to complement one another. They need to be part of a good situation with all the right emotions and all the right desires.

Like the NFL draft, there will be mistakes and poor decisions. There are romantic equivalents of draft busts who seem like potential super stars, but turn out to be toxic. I’ve already talked about Lawrence Phillips in a previous post. There are other big busts like Ryan Leaf, Tony Mandarich, and Tim Couch.

These busts are akin to our misguided passions that lead us into relationships that are doomed to fail. There are NFL scouts who thought they could fix the flaws with players like Lawrence Phillips. There are just as many people who think they can fix the flaws in a prospective lover. Most of the time, those efforts fail.

Finding love and finding pro-bowl football players is hard, but the fact it’s so hard is part of what makes it so meaningful. That’s because when we find love or a pro-bowl player, the investments we make pay off in a big way. A football team has a player that can help them win. A lover can find someone who fulfills them on an intimate, emotional level.

It takes a lot of work. It often requires quite a few heartbreaks and draft busts. It can hurt. It can be costly. It can seem like you’ll never win that championship. Like sports, though, the hardship that comes with finding love is part of what makes it so meaningful when you win.

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Tagged as break-ups, divorce, falling in love, intimacy, love, marriage, NFL, NFL Draft, NFL Draft 2017, NFL Draft Busts, passion, relationships, romance, sex

April 28, 2017 · 8:07 am

Why Bigotry And Prejudice Can NEVER Be Resolved (For Now)

It’s all around us. It generates protests, outrage, and angry rants of every variety on cable news. It floods social media, infects college campuses, and drowns out any and all meaningful dialog that might actually lead to productive change. I don’t even have to reveal it at this point. Everybody knows what I’m talking about on some level or they at least have a vaguely accurate idea.

It goes by many names. Call it racism, reverse racism, sexism, man-hating, homophobia, islamophobia, or transphobia. It all falls under the same overly-divisive rhetoric that is bigotry and prejudice. It always seems to be in the news. It always makes a conversation awkward and unsexy. It seems to get better some days and regress the others.

Now I know I’m making everybody’s panties very dry by bringing this up, but bear with me. This post is not going to get as bleak or depressing as it would if it were a Michael Moore documentary. I prefer to convey a more optimistic spirit to my audience. It puts them in a better mood, which is important if you’re trying to sell erotica/romance novels.

On the surface, though, there’s no way around it. This is as ugly a topic as it gets these days, the concepts of bigotry and prejudice. If it isn’t the stereotypical white male patriarchal types bemoaning how lazy and violent minorities are, it’s the radical left-wing hippies who call everyone who doesn’t support interracial gay couples kissing in the streets Nazi supporters.

It really is a strange, distressing state in which we find ourselves in. There used to be just one extreme in terms of prejudice, namely that which tried to preserve the overtly-unequal status quo that favored one particular group, be it white men or one particular religious group. Now, the extremes are all over the place.

I’ve talked about a few of them, like radical feminism. They’re just one of the many extremes that have emerged in recent years, often in conjunction with trends in identity politics. It’s not peace-loving hippies who put flowers in guns anymore. It’s angry, entitled, hashtag-starting narcissists who go into a Hulk-like rage whenever someone dares contest their utopian worldview.

There’s an extreme for women, who want men to suffer for their historical crimes against gender. There’s an extreme for race, some of which favor completely disenfranchising all white men for their historical crimes. There’s even an extreme for those who dare to use the wrong pronouns when describing boys and girls. Yes, it really has gotten that crazy.

That says nothing about the craziness that has emerged from extremes within religious groups, but we’re all kind of used to that. We expect extremes in religion, whether they’re favoring the execution of cartoonists or demanding that their particular religion be given a right to discriminate. It’s just the same bigotry and prejudice, but with holy decrees and a convenient excuse to not pay taxes.

No matter the extreme, the outcome is the same. It divides people. It makes them angry, unruly, and hateful. It makes the comments section in every YouTube video about feminism and race relations a raging tire fire that undermines whatever faith in humanity you might have had at this point.

It’s as frustrating as it is tragic. It often leads us to ask the same question Rodney King once asked. Can’t we all just get along? Well, with all due respect to Mr. King, I’m sorry to say that there’s a wholly valid answer to that question.

Unfortunately, the answer is a definitive no. We cannot.

That’s not the solemn musings of cynical man who has read one too many BuzzFeed articles. It’s a cold, inescapable fact. However, there is a context here and a fluid context, which means we shouldn’t be too cynical. If anything, we should be even more hopeful.

The reason why prejudice and bigotry exist is simple and it has nothing to do with some vast, elaborate conspiracy by cisgendered white heterosexual males. Any conspiracy involving that many straight men probably involves fantasy sports or a “My Little Pony” marathon. Once again, this immutable problem in our society has roots in our biology.

It’s another byproduct of caveman logic. Those same settings in our brains that haven’t been updated in 200,000 years essentially guarantee that there will always be some level of prejudice and bigotry. The fact we’re able to function as well as we do as a global society is nothing short of miraculous.

To understand why this is, you need to recall the circumstances of our distant ancestors. They did not live in big cities full of a diverse mix of people from various cultures and ethnicities. They didn’t even live on farms in rural towns where cow-tipping counts as entertainment. They were hunter/gatherers, roaming and foraging in small, close-knit tribes.

For most of the history of our species, that’s how we lived. As such, that’s how our brains are wired and that wiring has not changed much. Due to the slow, clunky processes within our biology, it really can’t and that’s the crux of the problem.

Modern neuroscience has revealed a great deal about our brain’s capacity to form groups and cooperate. These groups become tribes and we, being the very social species that we are, come to tie our identity to those tribes. We work with them. We trust them. We rely on them. Most importantly, as it pertains to prejudice, we defend them and make endless excuses for them.

Picture, for a moment, how this works in our hunter/gatherer context. You’re an individual living 100,000 years ago. You have only a loin cloth, a spear, and functioning genitals. On your own, you’re not going to survive for very long. In a fight against a hungry lion, you’re basically a walking snack.

Then, you join a tribe. You ally yourself with other people who can help you, share resources, and give you an opportunity to use your genitals with others in a more enjoyable, intimate way. Suddenly, that hungry lion loses its appetite. One human is easy to maul. A hundred humans, each armed with spears and an incentive to impress fertile women, is much harder.

Being in that tribe, you come to rely on them and cherish them. Being around them gives you a sense of purpose and identity. You come to love and respect them. You form your own rituals and quirks. You sing certain songs. You do certain dances. You wear certain loin cloths that you think are stylish as hell. This tribe makes you feel complete.

Then, one day, you encounter another tribe. However, this tribe is not yours. They look different. They talk funny. They believe weird things. They wear weird clothes. They follow different rules. Everything about them is so strange and that freaks you out, so much so that you cling harder to your tribe.

Maybe there’s something about that other tribe that’s scary. Maybe they have weapons that are bigger. Maybe they have talents that your tribe can’t do. Maybe their food tastes better and their gods are more powerful. This is all causing you some serious stress and when your brain gets stressed, it does a lot of crazy things to mitigate it.

The next thing you know, your tribe goes to war with the other tribe. Your tribe loudly proclaims that theirs is the greatest tribe in the world. Their gods are better, their food is better, and their rituals are better. The other tribe is so wrong and misguided that they can’t be human. As such, killing them or demeaning them isn’t a big deal. It’s no more distressing than putting down a rabid dog.

Now, extrapolate this tribal mentality, carry it out a billion times in a billion ways within large multi-cultural societies, and apply the reaction to the comments section of a Justin Bieber video, and you now understand why prejudice and bigotry exists. You also understand why nothing can be done about it for now.

Remember those last two words though. I bolded them for a reason. This is where I offer readers a sliver of hope. Does racism, sexism, and homophobia truly disturb you? Do you wish that our society could move past it and forge a more peaceful existence? Well, you may live to see that day.

Keep in mind, these traits that make us so hateful and divisive all stem from our brains. It’s that flawed wiring that still thinks we’re hunter/gatherers picking nuts out of elephant shit on the African savanna that fosters so much bigotry and prejudice. We humans are capable of a great many technological and intellectual feats, but we cannot circumvent the wiring of our brains.

Thanks to companies like Neuralink and advances in human enhancement, like smart blood, we are very close to finally tweaking those outdated settings that make us mute certain people on Twitter. It may very well happen in our lifetime. We may see a new breed of humans whose brains can function beyond brutish tribalism.

We don’t know how these humans will think, how they’ll function with those still stuck in caveman mode, or how they’ll relate to one another. If they aren’t as hateful or petty as we are today, then perhaps they’ll find creative new ways to relate to one another, connect with one another, and make love to one another.

We can only imagine/fantasize for now, but I do take some comfort in the progress we’ve made as a species. We’ve done remarkably well, despite our caveman brains. It’s fun to imagine how much more we can do once we update the software. It may make for a more promising future and some very sexy stories, some of which I intend to write.

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Tagged as bigotry, family, feminism, hate crimes, hatred, human society, identity politics, love, political correctness, prejudice, Racism, relationships, religious intolerance, sexism, social division, social issues, social justice, social justice warriors, social psychology, tribalism

April 27, 2017 · 6:56 am

Neuralink: How Brain Enhancement Will Make Us Sexier (And More Loving)

At the beginning of every year, millions people stand in front of the mirror, look at all the weight they’ve gained since Christmas, and promise to themselves that they’ll eat healthier and exercise more for the coming year. It’s an entirely noble promise, seeking greater health. It’s also a promise that most are destined to break.

Any effort to better ourselves, no matter how healthy or noble, is an uphill battle. That’s why the vast majority of diets do not work on a long-term basis. You can lose a little weight here and there, but it almost always comes back. Then, you hate yourself a little more, look for excuses, and go back to drowning your sorrows in a tub of ice cream.

However, it’s not entirely your fault that you broke that promise to yourself at the beginning of the year. It’s not even the fault of bullying, the media, or even food companies that insist on making unhealthy food that tastes too damn good. No, it’s the fault of one organ in your body. No, I’m not talking about your stomach either. It’s your brain.

Yes, your brain is the reason why you can’t keep your promises and stay health. Your brain is the reason why you can’t keep the weight off when you diet. Your brain is the reason why your body is shackled to unhealthy habits that keep our bodies flooded with greasy, sugary food and on the couch.

Naturally, this does affect our sex lives, our love lives, and everything in between. When we’re unhealthy, it makes it damn hard to get in the mood, sustain the mood, and make that mood meaningful. How can we when we’re craving sugar cookies, beer, and Netflix? Again, it’s our brains. It’s the reason why we can’t live healthier, sexier lives.

That brings me back to Neuralink. Yes, I’m not quite ready to shut up about it yet. There’s just so much to talk about and so many implications, some sexier than others. I’ve been talking largely about the big picture and the pragmatics of brain implants and brain enhancement so far. Now, I’d like to get to the sexy stuff.

Last year, I talked a bit about how I essentially shamed myself into adopting a healthier lifestyle. I went from a cookie-eating, soda-drinking couch potato to a guy who exercises almost every day and tries not to gorge on donuts every day. It shows in my health and my sex appeal. I can take my shirt off at the beach and be fairly certain that the women who see me won’t be disgusted.

That process of getting healthier was hard. My brain was my biggest enemy in that it fought me every step of the way. That’s because the human brain isn’t necessarily wired for a healthy lifestyle in an era where there are no famines and no hungry bears trying to eat us. It’s wired to basically do what makes it and the body happy.

Unfortunately, that often means eating copious amounts of the fattening sugar that used to be such a rarity in the natural world before modern sugar processing. Again, you can blame big corporations as much as the kale-eating hippies of the world, but the issue isn’t capitalism. It’s our faulty brain wiring that hasn’t been updated in 200,000 years.

Our brain is wired to value sugary, tasty foods that give us a quick dopamine rush. It’s also wired to maintain existing habits and mentalities over creating new ones because change is a stressful process. Being the crude piece of hardware that it is, the brain generally tries to avoid stress.

Naturally, this unhealthy brain wiring affects our sex lives as well. While we are a very social species, our brain often struggles between selfish and affectionate tendencies. That means that once the brain gets its dopamine rush from the sex and love we make, it’s generally pretty selfish about it.

That’s why we have men who will do a few casual humps, blow their load, and then look for an excuse to turn on Sportscenter. That’s why we have women who will just lie there, bark orders, and expect their partner to do all the work. That’s why we find ourselves in relationships where two lovers just aren’t on the same page, get bored with each other, and look for the next dopamine rush, whether it’s the pool guy or the babysitter.

It’s a sad and unpleasant byproduct of a brain that has been stuck on the same settings since the stone age and is at the mercy of crude, unguided chemistry. There are those who can overcome it to lose a lot of weight and form marriages that last more than half-a-century. Unfortunately, that’s the exception and not the norm.

That’s where Neuralink comes in. It’s doing what no diet pill, self-help book, or talk show host ever dared to do. It’s getting right to the root of these problems, which is in our brains. Tweak the wiring and suddenly, every weight loss guru is out of a job.

How would that work? Well, keep in mind that Neuralink‘s stated goal is to integrate computer technology directly into our brains to improve various brain functions. Well, that improvement part isn’t just limited to basic math and keeping up with the latest season of Scandal.

Picture the brain of someone who is insanely fit, like the Rock or Kate Hudson. How is their brain wired? How do they get themselves to do what they do? Well, we already know how to scan brains. It wouldn’t be easy to decipher the particulars of that wiring, but it’s not impossible. A neural implant would simply mimic that wiring, setting our brains up so that we have the right mindset for being healthy.

It goes even farther than that though. A neural implant means we’re not restricted to the brain’s traditional limits. That means it could, in theory, wire our brain in a way that makes us less hungry. We would no longer succumb to that powerful impulse to buy a dozen donuts every time we walk by a Krispe Kreme.

Beyond mitigating hunger, an implant could also wire our brains in a way that makes us feel an extra rush of dopamine when we exercise. Remember that so-called “coregasm” I mentioned when I talked about different kinds of orgasms? Well what if doing 100 sit-ups or 100 push ups gave us the kind of orgasm usually reserved for three-ways with cheerleaders and Hugh Jackman? You’d become a fitness junkie overnight.

The same extends to food. One of the reasons why we can’t stop eating all the unhealthy shit we eat is because it tastes so damn good. It tastes good because our brains make us believe it tastes good. Well what if a neural implant could make it so a bowl of kale tastes like a slice of chocolate cake dipped in bacon grease? Suddenly, eating healthy isn’t just practical. It’s a goddamn party.

So a neural implant can wire your brain in a way that makes you eat better, exercise more, and feel healthier. That’s all well and good, but looks alone aren’t going to make you sexier. You can look like an Olympic athlete, but if you’re an amateur once the panties come off, then you might as well be Al Bundy.

A neural implant with just the right settings can change that. Ladies, have you ever had a man just hump you for a few minutes, blow his load, and then roll over and fall asleep before you even had a chance to get wet? Well, it’s not entirely his fault. He’s still an inconsiderate asshole, but there is a biological reason for it.

In the brain, there’s this chemical called prolactin. It has a lot of complex impacts on the brain, but it’s what keeps a man from going more than a few rounds between the sheets. When his brain is full of this chemical, his soldier will not be saluting you for a while. Add the shot of endorphins that comes with a typical male orgasm and he might as well have a tranquilizer dart in his head.

Now tweak that brain chemistry a bit. Make it so a man’s brain isn’t wired so he’s “one and done,” so to speak. Ladies, you now have a lover who can hang in there for multiple rounds, keep the mood sexy, and ensure you that special trip to O-Town you crave. That’s what a neural implant could do.

It’s not just for the men either. Guys, have you ever had one of those ladies who, despite your best efforts, can’t seem to make it all the way to O-Town? Well, there are any number of reasons why that could be and not all of them are your fault. Many, in fact, are in the woman’s brain.

Using the same approach, adjusting the wiring for female settings, a neural implant could install the mental equivalent of an express lane to O-Town. That means that men can feel like Brad Pitt on crack when they’re making love, sharing multiple round-trip vacations to that special place of sensual bliss. How much better would your sex life be if your brains were wired like that?

Go even farther than that. Go beyond having the kind of hot sex that sets bed sheets ablaze. Get a little romantic and suddenly, brain implants become the most romantic thing that doesn’t involve diamonds and Hugh Grant.

It’s true. Love also has a powerful basis in the brain. There even this chemical called Oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone.” It’s basically your brain’s way of creating bonds and enhancing intimacy. It’s what helps mothers bond with children, husbands bond with wives, and children with dolls. It is basically the chocolate frosting of brain chemicals.

Normally, hormones like oxytocin are secreted erratically and chaotically in the brain. It’ll emerge whether you’re making love to your spouse on your anniversary or banging your tennis instructor. Nature is just too crude and too immature to wire the brain in a way that really makes those lasting bonds stick.

Add a neural implant to the mix and suddenly, you can channel oxytocin like a biological smart bomb. You want to be more intimate with your partner? Well, you don’t need to go on vacation or buy an expensive diamond. Just adjust the settings of your implant and just like that, you’ve got more love in your heart than every Barry White song ever made.

Are you excited/horny yet about Neuralink‘s full potential? Does the idea of getting a neural implant now feel like the equivalent of a VIP pass to the Playboy Mansion? I think I’ve done enough to pain a very rosy, very sexy picture of the future. Now there will be risks, as there are with all new technologies, but I honestly can’t think of a risk that’s more worth it.

If we have a way to fix our inherently flawed brains, then we won’t just be healthier and happier. We’ll be able to love, make love, and share love on a level that no human has ever experienced before. Sure, it’s still a ways off, but with Elon Musk at the helm and Neuralink providing the platform, that future is within our grasp. I say it’s worth embracing.

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Tagged as biology, brain communication, brain implant, Elon Musk, future of love, futurism, human psychology, intimacy, love, Neuralink, neurobiology, psychology, sex, sexual health, sexuality, the future

April 25, 2017 · 6:54 am

Neuralink: Elon Musk’s Latest Business And Why It’s The Most Important Venture In History

There are a number of things I belabor on this blog. However, there’s one thing I tend to belabor more than most and for a good, wholly relevant reason. I’ll say it again and I’ll keep saying it for as long as it remains painfully relevant. Our collective brains are painfully limited.

For the past 10,000 years, we’ve been stuck in caveman mode. So much of our society and world has changed. Unfortunately, our brains might as well be stone tablets trying to compete against a top-of-the-line smartphone.

There are a lot of problems in this world that can be chalked up to the faulty wiring in our brain. Everything from the failures of democracy, the prevalence of religious dogma, and the rise of the Kardashians can be attributed to the inherent flaws in our brains.

We’re just not wired for the civilization we’ve created. Our brains evolved on the plains of the African savanna. They’re optimized to function in small bands of closely-knit hunter/gatherer societies, wired to prioritize survival and reproduction over knowing our multiplication tables. Remember that the next time a math teacher gets snippy with you.

That method of operation worked damn well for thousands of years, but conditions have changed. We humans needed to grow, create cities, and build civilizations to survive. Unfortunately, our brains stayed stuck in hunter/gatherer mode. It’s like being stuck with the earliest version of Windows and never being able to update.

It’s frustrating to think about. It’s even tragic, knowing that all these problems have a basis in the wiring of our brains. We can do a lot to work around it, but we can never seem to avoid it and that’s a problem. If we can’t get around the base programming of our biology, what hope do we have? Are we doomed to a future of reality TV, professional trolls, and fake news?

Well, we can’t do anything about it at the moment. However, I’d like to offer a ray of hope. It’s actually part of a story that slipped under the radar in recent weeks, most likely due to everyone still processing how Bill O’Reilly got away with so much sexual harassment over the course of 13 years. That might be for the best because it’s impossible to understate the implications.

It has to do with a guy named Elon Musk. Perhaps you’ve heard of him. He’s a businessman, engineer, investor, and inventor. He created PayPal, founded Tesla Motors, is the CEO of SpaceX, and is worth an estimated $13.9 billion. He’s the closest thing the real world has to Tony Stark from Iron Man. In 2016, Forbes voted him the 21st most powerful person on the planet.

Some people like to dream about the future. This guy is actively creating it and making himself exceedingly rich in the process. He’s a perfect cross between Warren Buffet, Albert Einstein, and Nikola Tesla is what I’m saying. If that’s not superhuman, I don’t know what is and that’s coming from an admitted comic book fan.

Well, as accomplished as Musk is, the man just has to overachieve in the most obscene way possible. Creating awesome cars, space ships, and pollution-free power just isn’t enough for this guy. He just has to find new ways to make us all feel like losers. However, his latest venture may end up being the most important venture in human history.

No, that’s not a typo. That’s not me talking in hyperbole either. I mean it. What Musk plans to do with this venture may very well be the most important thing any human being has ever done since the invention of fire, electricity, and internet porn. It may actually hold the key to our survival, both as a society and as a species

It’s called Neuralink. Late last month, Musk announced the creation of this company in Dubai. It has a simple, but monumentally ambitious mission. According to the Walls Street Journal, that mission is as follows:

The company, which is still in the earliest stages of existence and has no public presence whatsoever, is centered on creating devices that can be implanted in the human brain, with the eventual purpose of helping human beings merge with software and keep pace with advancements in artificial intelligence. These enhancements could improve memory or allow for more direct interfacing with computing devices.

No, it’s not a rejected side-plot from the Matrix. This is happening in the real world. If it sounds like something that only Star Trek fans would talk about in between arguments about whether Captain Kirk could kick Captain Picard’s ass, then resist the urge to roll your eyes for just a few minutes. This really is that important.

A while back, I speculated on ways in which we could improve the wiring on our caveman brains. That was just a thought experiment though, not unlike my regular speculations on the prospects of human enhancement. I explore these issues with the understanding that they’re just ideas. There’s no time table in place for this sort of futuristic stuff to actually happen.

Well, now there is and Elon Musk, a man with an established track-record at making technology his bitch, is setting the stage for the kind of future that only once existed in the twisted thoughts of aspiring erotica/romance writers. It’s not some fancy experiment among sci-fi geeks. It’s an actual business enterprise by a man who knows how to use technology to make a fuckton of money.

What makes Neuralink such a big deal is that it’s not just giving human beings another fancy tool for our caveman brains to use. It’s actually bypassing the caveman part and looking to hack the wiring that’s so badly in need of an upgrade. Beyond that, he wants to do that in a way that’ll turn a profit.

Make no mistake. There is money to be made here. Musk wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about it if it weren’t. The biotech industry is already a $157 billion industry, but it doesn’t have that high a profile because it lacks a “killer app,” so to speak. The industry is very much akin to the smartphone industry back in the early 2000s. It’s growing, but there’s no iPhone yet to really kick it into high gear.

Well, Elon Musk looks to do for biotech what Steve Jobs did for smartphones. Brain implants, like smartphones, do exist. They’re just very limited right now. It’s a very nascent technology, but the science is there. It is possible to put some type of computer hardware into the brain and have it effect the brain in some way.

At the moment, those effects are limited, just as smartphones were in 2002. With Musk leading the charge, those effects will definitely expand. Musk isn’t just looking to create implants that will treat stroke victims or mental illness. He’s serious about enhancing the human brain as a means of keeping pace with technology.

We know he’s serious because back in 2015, he signed an open letter with Stephen Hawking and a dozen other men who are way smarter than most of us will ever be expressing concern about the growth of artificial intelligence. Musk isn’t among those who thinks we’ll ever have to fight off actual Terminators, but he does see artificial intelligence as a potential existential threat to the human race.

He’s not wrong either. He and many others understand that we humans are still cavemen running around with clubs trying to make sense of all the crazy things we experience. Our intelligence is severely limited by those caveman settings. A sufficiently intelligent machine really wouldn’t need to do much to outsmart us. It would just need to convince us that it had a video of Kim Kardashian going down on Justin Bieber.

Practically speaking, the only way we humans stand a chance at co-existing and thriving alongside artificial intelligence is to augment our own intelligence. To do that, we need to effectively hack and enhance the brains that struggle to determine whether Alex Jones is a credible news source.

It won’t happen over night. According to Musk, the first few products from Neuralink will specialize in treating stroke victims and those who have sustained brain damage. However, that’s just a step in a much larger process. Once we have products that can treat damaged brains, then we can make products that enhance healthy brains.

It used to be we only needed cell phones for emergencies and drug lords. Now, we they have so many uses that enhance our lives. What kind of enhancements can we expect from something that actually affects our brains directly in ways that hypnotists and subliminal advertising can only dream of?

That is a very interesting and very sexy question. I hope to explore some of these questions in future posts, but I think it’s important to highlight just how huge Neuralink could be for the future.

Ford helped usher in the era of cars. Apple helped usher in the era of personal computing. Neuralink could usher in an era that will fundamentally change what it means to be human. It’ll also probably make Elon Musk another fuckton of money, but if it means saving the future of our species, I’d say he’s earned it.

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Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights

Tagged as Artificial Intelligence, biology, biotechnology, Elon Musk, human enhancement, human psychology, human relationships, human society, intimacy, love, Neuralink, neurobiology, sex, technology, transhumanism

April 22, 2017 · 8:53 am

Humans May Have A Mating Season (Kind Of)

There are a lot of crazy things that set human beings apart and I’m not just talking about our eagerness to shave our pubic hair. When compared to other animals, especially our closest primate relatives, we’re downright freaky. I mean that literally and with all the sexy undertones that an immature teenage boy might imagine.

One of those freaky traits is actually the lack of a mating season. While it may not sound like a big deal to the non-panda population, it’s actually a big fucking deal. Most mammals, including some species of primate, have a specified mating season where the females are fertile, the males are extra horny, and the proverbial bushes are rocking. It’s a beautiful thing, even if you’re not an erotica/romance writer.

There are legitimate evolutionary reasons why a species has a mating season. The world is a dangerous place full of hungry predators, natural disasters, and diseases that make you shit out your lower intestines. We need to dedicate a lot of resources just to survive that world. Pragmatically speaking, it makes sense to reserve just a certain sliver of time to focus on getting frisky so that our species doesn’t go extinct.

Humans, however, don’t have a mating season. Unlike the females of other species, human females ovulate about once every 28 days. They can, for the most part, conceive a child at almost any time in their menstrual cycle. There’s also no obvious sign, short of discarded tampon wrappers, that a woman is even in a fertile period of her cycle.

Again, this is pretty damn freaky in terms of traditional mammalian mating behavior. Most mammals ovulate and become fertile just a few times a year. That’s usually the time when everyone drops what they’re doing and focuses on boning. If a hungry predator shows up, then they’ll just have to lose their appetite or enjoy the show.

This ability for females to ovulate regularly and conceive at nearly any point in their cycle is a big reason why humans are so efficient when it comes to mating. I get that our ability to make tools, build cities, and think critically played a major role as well, but let’s not discount our mating proficiency compared to other animals. There’s a reason why some primates our endangered while we humans just keep boning and thriving.

While we may be freaks, that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re entirely divorced from our mammalian brethren. It’s technically accurate that humans don’t have a defined mating season. We’ll bone at any time and conceive accordingly, as our demographics data shows. However, practically speaking, it may not be completely accurate to say that humans have no mating season at all.

According to a recent article from Vice, there are a few times of the year where we’re more prone to get frisky than others. Data from the CDC does show a few telling variations in terms of when more babies are born. Working backwards, we can surmise when the extra boning went on.

Using this method, researchers with too much free time and a dirty mind determined that most children were conceived in the winter. So while spring is often seen as a time for love and what not, it’s the winter when we do the humping. Again, it’s not the same as having an actual mating season, but it still functions as such.

So why is this? Well, I’d love to say that it’s a product of some complex psycho-social phenomenon with a basis in subtle neurological and physiological variations. That would make me sound much smarter than you’d expect of an erotica/romance writer.

Unfortunately, the explanation is a lot more mundane. It turns out that all that winter boning is more a product of boredom anything biological. The article puts it fairly succinctly.

A lot of people get knocked up when there are blizzards and hurricanes,” Shuey explains. “When they’re stuck indoors with nothing to do, they may not necessarily be doing it to mate, but they’re doing it because they don’t have anything else going on.”

That’s right. Being snowed in and stuck indoors during major storms leads to more babies being conceived. When you’re bored and not worrying about hungry predators, you immediately default to your mating instinct. There’s something inherently logical and sexy about that.

So keep this in mind next winter. We human may not have a mating season, but there are certain times of the year where we love to do a little extra humping. So this winter, stock up on massage oil, candles, and lingerie. If we’re going to have a quasi-mating season, we might as well enjoy the hell out of it.

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Tagged as animal behavior, erotica, human sexuality, love, mating season, psychology, romance, sex, sexuality, sexy, Vice, Vice News

April 20, 2017 · 6:58 am

Behind The Passion: What Inspired “Passion Relapse”

Now that “Passion Relapse,” my first published erotica/romance novel by Totally Entwined Group, has been released, I can finally take a deep breath and reflect for a moment. I admit I’m still somewhat giddy. It’s my first release from a publisher. Like losing your virginity on your prom night, it’s an intense experience for all the right reasons.

I still intend to savor this moment and promote the hell out of my book. So if in my future posts, I keep sneaking in a mention of “Passion Relapse” and why you should buy it, you’ll know why. I’m not trying to get overly subliminal on my audience, but I do want this book to sell. I also want to grow my brand as an erotica/romance writer.

As part of that process, I thought I’d take some time to talk about gritty, sexy details of “Passion Relapse” and what inspired it. Like all novels, there was some inspiration behind this sexy story. It’s not just about two people coming together and sharing some sexy time. There are some serious themes that help heighten the passion. It’s a kind of passion you won’t find on any late-night Cinemax movie.

The first spark of inspiration for this novel came from discussions about sexual addiction. It’s actually a controversial topic and one that’s lacking in major substance. There’s even controversy over whether sexual addiction is really a thing because it doesn’t share some key qualities with other forms of addiction.

Regardless of how real it is, I was more interested in the mentality of those who really felt addicted to sex. I do believe that addiction is more complex than anything Nancy Regan ever claimed. I believe it is possible for our faulty human brains to become wired in a way to that leaves people hopelessly addicted to this basic biological act.

What exactly goes through the minds of someone who’s addicted to sex? How do they see themselves and their addiction? What happens when that addiction becomes too much for them? That’s what I explore through the two main characters in “Passion Relapse,” Mary Williams and Peter Rogers.

Both of these characters struggle with sex addiction, but not in the comical way that bad porno movies joke about in between scenes. Their addictions really have ruined their lives and undermined their ability to function. They enter this story so broken, so devastated, and so utterly lost that finding love is the last thing on their mind.

That leads to the second major inspiration of “Passion Relapse,” which is somewhat related to the first. To highlight this, here’s a quick question that should put it into context.

Think back to your youth. Think of someone who had everything that others aspired to be. They were beautiful, charismatic, outgoing, loving, and affectionate. Everyone wanted to be around them. Everybody wanted to know them. They always had a lover. They were always the life of the party. They could enjoy every little pleasure with little effort. Getting sex for them was like getting a pizza.

We’ve all known someone like that in our lives. I can remember a few from my youth. Now imagine that there’s a much darker undertone to that person’s charisma. Imagine there’s a problem gnawing at them internally, one they hide well, but never truly escape. It goes beyond addiction. It’s something more fundamental, something that addiction only makes worse.

Some people go their whole lives covering up this problem. Peter and Mary could’ve been one of them. In “Passion Relapse,” they were uniquely situated to basically mask every problem they ever had. They could’ve easily spent their whole lives never having to confront it.

That’s not how it plays out though. Like many addicts, Peter and Mary go through their own distinct “moment of clarity.” For them, however, the moment isn’t just difficult. It’s downright traumatic.

What happens to someone when they go through something so traumatic that it utterly breaks them. Psychological trauma is a very powerful force. It strains our brain’s ability to process our feelings, emotions, and everything in between. Add addiction to the mix and you’ve got a volatile cocktail of mental distress.

That distress, however, can force us to become more honest with ourselves and others. It can also force us to see the world in a new way. For two people, like Mary and Peter, who once saw the world as an endless parade of pleasures, it’s sobering in the best and worst of ways.

It’s also through this distress that Mary and Peter connect. It’s not just an emotional connection either. It’s not just physical. How do two people who are struggling with addiction and mental trauma come together? What kind of passion does it take to forge such a connection? Just how powerful can that connection be?

I’ll stop teasing right there because that’s getting dangerously close to spoiler/foreplay for “Passion Relapse.” I’d much rather people actually buy it and see for themselves how these two characters come together through their pain. It’s a difficult journey, but one I do my best to make sexy as hell.

In the continued interest of promoting the hell out of my first book, I’ll leave you with a quick excerpt that should get the blood flowing in the right direction.

“As my needs became a full-blown addiction, things escalated pretty quickly,” Mary said. “To exercise my growing libido, I made it more challenging on myself. I fucked police officers, aspiring politicians, pastors and even a gym teacher who worked at a local elementary school.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” commented Peter.

“Oh, yeah? I once blew the pizza guy in exchange for extra toppings,” added Mary.

“Okay, I take it back. It does sound bad.”

Are you curious now? Want to see more? Well, head over to Totally Entwined Group or onto Amazon to buy “Passion Relapse.” Your heart, your libido, and various other parts of your body will thank you.

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April 19, 2017 · 7:01 am

After The Passion: What’s Next After “Passion Relapse”

Afterglow comes in many forms. As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, there are a few specific forms I appreciate more than most. If you read “Passion Relapse,” you’ll see what I mean.

Afterglow is a damn good feeling. It’s a feeling born from knowing you accomplished something wonderful. Whether you’ve just made love to a beautiful woman for fixed a car without having to pay three grand to a mechanic, that feeling of accomplishment is a beautiful thing. Why shouldn’t we enjoy it?

I’ve certainly been enjoying the feeling of having released my first publisher-supported novel. It’s a huge step for me. Since I began writing erotica/romance novels, I’ve had to rely solely on self-publishing to get them out there. Unless you’re already an established writer, self-publishing only goes so far. Sure, it can work if you’re good at marketing. If not, you basically spitting into hurricane-force winds.

One of my primary goals since I began was to get the support of a publisher. That proved much harder than I thought. I’ve compiled a rather impressive list of rejection letters, some more demoralizing than others. Finally, Totally Entwined Group took a chance on me and now I can say I’ve actually been published. By all measures, that’s a damn good feeling.

It’s also not the end. Getting the support of a publisher was a major goal, but it was also a step in a much larger process. I certainly don’t intend for “Passion Relapse” to be my only published novel. I also don’t intend for it to be my best. I believe I still have much better and sexier stories to tell. I also believe I can improve on my skills as a writer.

That’s the key to any skill or endeavor. You must be willing to keep improving. A skill like writing, be it erotica/romance or children’s pop-up books, isn’t something that can ever be completely mastered. It can only ever be improved. That’s not some sort of snappy Zen quote. That’s just what I’ve learned through nearly two decades of experience.

With that in mind, I want to lay out my plans for what comes next after “Passion Relapse.” At the moment, I still have several completed manuscripts that I finished while getting “Passion Relapse” to market. I hope to submit some of those manuscripts to Totally Entwined Group, but the style of some of these manuscripts will likely require some tweaking.

Beyond the stories I’ve already completed, I also just started another novel that I actually came up with while I was revising “Passion Relapse.” It’s a novel with similar themes, but a very different set of circumstances. It also involves a bit more action compared to drama. It’s not just emotional pep talks. There will be some heart-stopping moments in this story and not just those that make our pants feel too tight.

I don’t have a name for this novel yet. The first draft isn’t even complete. However, this is a novel I intend to submit to Totally Entwined Group for review. I think if “Passion Relapse” finds an audience, then this book will do the same.

Beyond that, I have two other book ideas I want to flesh out. One involves a few sci-fi elements, some of which I’ve already discussed on this blog to some extent. The other one involves a few supernatural elements, but that idea is a bit more tentative. I do plan to write, or at least develop, these ideas in the coming months. Whether they’ll generate the same interest as “Passion Relapse” remains to be seen.

Right now, my main concern with my writing style is breadth. One thing I’ve noticed about my work is that my stories end up being a lot longer and wordier than I expect. When I saw the final word count for “Passion Relapse,” I was genuinely surprised and a little concerned. I don’t want my novels to drag. I don’t want them to get boring either. I want them to be fun, sexy, and well-developed.

That’s something I really hope that Totally Entwined Group can help me with. I feel I’ve already made improvements compared to my other self-published novels. I want to keep improving with my next novel and others after it.

Make no mistake. I’m still going to bask in the afterglow of having gotten a novel published. Like getting laid the first time, it’s not enough to just do it once. You want more. You’re intent on seeking more. You’re willing to jump through more hoops and work harder to get more.

In that sense, I feel like I’ve matured as a writer. Now, I’d like to continue that process while telling some very sexy stories along the way. I hope that means plenty more moments of afterglow for both myself and those who read my novels.

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Link

As I loudly proclaimed earlier today, my first published book, “Passion Relapse,” has been released and is available for purchase. If you haven’t bought it by now, then what are you doing reading this? Go check it out! Make sure you have clean panties though.

As part of my efforts to promote the book, the wonderful folks at Totally Entwined Group gave me a chance to do a blog post for their Fresh Fiction Blog. It’s basically an introduction post for me, as a newly published writer. It offers a bit of insight into who I am, how I got started writing erotica/romance, and what my hopes are for the future.

It’s nothing too fancy. Think of it as an after party of shorts to a big premier, minus the cocaine and open bar. Enjoy!

Fresh Fiction Blog: It’s All About Sex by Jack Fisher

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April 18, 2017 · 1:43 pm

April 18, 2017 · 7:00 am

“Passion Relapse” Is Out TODAY!

It’s finally here! Today’s the day where the aspiring erotica/romance writer in me can finally say it. I can finally say that, after toiling all these years, trying to craft sexy stories, I got a book published. Just typing that out with a straight face makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. If I were wearing panties, I’d probably have to change them.

Last year, a small publisher called Totally Entwined Group took a chance on me and accepted my manuscript for “Passion Relapse.” After countless rejection letters, some of which were pretty damn discouraging, these wonderful folk decided to give me a shot to tell a sexy story with them. I can’t thank them enough for that chance.

Working with them has been enlightening and engaging. In working with them, I had to do multiple edits of my manuscript, including a total rewrite of the ending. I learned a lot about how to improve my style, my grammar, and the overall sex appeal of my words. It was a hell of an experience and I hope I get to have more like it.

Now, after a long and fruitful process, the big day is here. I can finally say as a writer that I’ve been published. I feel as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning. At the risk of sounding like a Disney character, I’ll just say with the utmost pride and excitement that “Passion Relapse” is now available, courtesy of Totally Entwined Group. Are you looking for sexy romance? Well look no further.

Mary Ann Scott was once an aspiring fitness model and all-around party girl. Now, she’s a sex addict whose recovery is making her miserable. Despite spending nearly a year in a treatment program, she struggles to escape the scars left by her addiction. Then, one night, she crosses paths with Peter Robert Rogers, a childhood friend turned handsome firefighter who just happens to be a recovering sex addict as well.

He comes into Mary’s life broken, distraught and vulnerable. Having experienced that feeling, too, she reaches out to him. Together, they try to help each other heal. But in doing so, Mary doesn’t just open old wounds. She evokes a wealth of pent-up desire…a desire that quickly consumes them both.

Now, she and Peter are nearing the brink of relapsing. They’re on the verge of giving in to their addiction. Will it break them once more? Or will it bring them together and finally heal their wounded souls?

Passion Relapse
(Paperback Version)

Passion Relapse
(eBook Version)

To all those who have supported me, my wonderful family and those who support this blog, I thank you. Now I don’t expect this book to be a top seller. In my view, it’s a step towards telling better and sexier stories. It was a long, arduous process to take that step. Now, I’m ready to take the next step and do it in the sexiest way possible.

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Tagged as Amazon, ebooks, erotic novels, erotica, erotica/romance, Jack Fisher, love, novels, Passion Relapse, romance, romance novels, sex, sexy, Totally Entwined Group

April 17, 2017 · 7:00 am

When Love (And Lust) Is Genuine

Does she love me?

Does she love you?

Is our love real?

Is the sex good?

Is the sex really that good?

Is this love the real deal?

These are all questions I’m sure everyone has asked themselves at some point. If not, then chances are you’ll ask yourselves these questions at some point in the future. Sometimes you may not even ask them with a completely sober mind and I’m not just talking about shots of tequila.

Love, lust, and everything in between is a beautiful thing. It’s one of the most powerful experiences we can have as human beings. In fact, according to research from MIT, being in love can produce a high similar to that of cocaine. In another life, maybe Pablo Escobar could’ve been the ultimate love guru. I guess we’ll never know.

I know I say it a lot, but it’s worth saying again, especially for a topic like this. We are a very social species. The human race thrived, despite bodies that were easily crushed by hungry bears, because we could collaborate and cooperate. We worked together, shared resources, and made beautiful love that resulted in more humans. Now, we’re the most dominant species on the planet. Bears just cannot make that claim.

As beautiful as it is, sometimes the answers to those questions are tragic, if not downright heartbreaking. It does happen. Sometimes the love two people have isn’t real. Sometimes the lust they feel is fake. Sometimes the sex is only a minor step above having someone watch while you masturbate. The challenge is finding out how to answer these questions.

I bring up this topic because I recently got into an interesting discussion with some people on a comic book message board. Now in general, I try to avoid most of the discussions on message boards. I’ve found that over 95 percent of them involve fans whining about the current situation in their favorite comics and how they hate it so much, but not enough to stop talking about it.

Every now and then, though, there will be a more meaningful conversation. I really enjoy being part of that conversation because it brings out some interesting perspectives. A lot of those perspectives can apply to real life, even in comics that involve clones, time travel, and poop jokes. Yes, I’m referring about Deadpool.

Specifically, the conversation I had involved a discussion about how genuine the love and romantic chemistry is between two particular characters. In this case, one of those characters was Spider-Man, whose romantic history is almost as vast as Wolverine’s. While I do criticize Spider-Man for being an incompetent hero, the man is still pretty good when it comes to getting laid. For that, I do respect him.

However, like a lot of comic book characters and real people, his love life is subject to a lot of variations. There are times when his emotions are not entirely sincere. By that, I mean he’s with someone because they’re there. That’s it. Then, there are times when he really does love someone, enough to marry them and make a deal with a devil with them. Like I said, there’s a lot of range with Spider-Man.

Sometimes it’s hard to make sense of these situations. Within the discussion I had, there were all sorts of conflicting opinions about just how sincere Spider-Man was and how much potential the relationship actually had. For every one person in the discussion, there were at least five different opinions, including my own.

Comic book fans are notoriously stubborn for how their characters are portrayed, but when it comes to our love lives, the stakes are a bit higher. In the discussion, I noticed a few common themes that set genuine love apart from the kind of love that end with Spider-Man getting his ass kicked by the Green Goblin.

One of those elements is luck. I know that doesn’t sound very romantic, but it’s an unavoidable function of life. Sometimes you’re in the right situation at the right time to take advantage of something, be it love or a winning lotto ticket. You can’t always control it, but it happens.

With respect to genuine love, though, luck plays a very specific role. If a relationship relies on luck to work, then that relationship is basically a reverse lottery. Over time, the odds just aren’t in anyone’s favor. The Law of Averages is both a harsh mistress and an outright sadomasochist. Spider-Man finds that out on a regular basis with how badly his relationships turn out, often due to forces he can’t control.

In addition to luck, there’s also the chemistry aspect. This is much sexier and much more romantic than luck. There’s no question about that. It’s also one of the hardest component to really nail down.

We all understand what romantic and sexual chemistry is to some extent. If two people are drawn together and struggle to keep their clothes on around each other, that’s a sign of pretty potent chemistry. Like real chemistry, though, some mixtures are more potent than others. Some are downright volatile.

If the chemistry is restricted to lust, then that’ll make for some hot sex. However, it won’t make for much else. Now I’ve got nothing against hot sex. It’s a wonderful part of being human. It can just be shallow and crude though. It can be a key ingredient for sexual chemistry, but it can’t be the only ingredient.

Add love to the mix and that’s where the potency shows. Genuine love complements one another. Genuine love involves two people cooperating, sacrificing, and sharing on a level that you just don’t do with a total stranger. Genuine love is usually equal for the most part. It’s rarer than hot sex, but beautiful. It even shows up in an X-men comic every now and then.

Lastly, one key element in genuine love involves reasons and excuses. I know this isn’t very sexy either, but it’s a necessary practical element of love. It can be either the glue or the napalm that binds/destroys a relationship.

Specifically, it deals with the how and why two people are involved in the first place. If they’re in an arranged marriage, which still happens a lot these days, then that’s a fairly unambiguous reason. If they’re together because they just don’t want to be alone, then that’s not much of a reason. That’s more of an excuse.

Sometimes Spider-Man is just with someone because they’re part of his life. They happen to cross paths with him both in and out of the mask. That’s often the case with characters like the Black Cat, whose about as genuine as a very hungry, very horny wolf. It rarely makes for a very genuine connection.

Sometimes two people start out as friends and the connection deepens. This often happens in a lot of teen movies and sitcoms, but it happens in real life too so it’s not entirely flawed like most movie tropes. That can sometimes be a solid foundation for genuine love.

There are also cases where two people are together purely for pragmatic reasons. A beautiful woman is with a man because he’s rich. A man is with a beautiful woman because she’s sexy. Sometimes people are just friends with benefits. That does happen and can work, despite what an Ashton Kutcher movie may claim.

That doesn’t mean pragmatism is necessarily genuine though. If two people are together because not being together would be too much work or too inconvenient, that’s not genuine. That’s just plain lazy. If two people are together because one has a great deal of leverage over the other, then that’s not genuine either. That’s exploitation.

Overall, there are a lot of components that go into a genuine romance and, without spoiling too much of the discussion I had, Spider-Man sucks at it. Characters like Superman, Wonder Woman, and even Starfire, to some extent, have a much better track record.

In the real world and throughout history, you’ll find plenty of examples of genuine love. They don’t always make for great stories or good erotica/romance, but that doesn’t make them any less genuine. In the end, genuine love combined with genuine lust makes for the best and sexiest connections. Not everyone can find it, but that’s what makes it so precious.

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Tag Archives: love

What The NFL Draft Can Teach Us About Finding Romance

Neuralink: How Brain Enhancement Will Make Us Sexier (And More Loving)

Neuralink: Elon Musk’s Latest Business And Why It’s The Most Important Venture In History

Humans May Have A Mating Season (Kind Of)

Behind The Passion: What Inspired “Passion Relapse”

After The Passion: What’s Next After “Passion Relapse”

Fresh Fiction Blog: It’s All About Sex by Jack Fisher

“Passion Relapse” Is Out TODAY!

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When Love (And Lust) Is Genuine

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