Tag Archives: Sexy Shower Thoughts

There are those who say love has no boundaries. I agree to some extent. I’m more inclined to say that love has boundaries beyond what every sitcom made after 1955 has prescribed. Most people alive today may think we’re pushing the envelope in terms of who, what, where, when, and how we love. I don’t think they appreciate just how far we’ve come.

There was indeed a time, and it wasn’t that long ago, when mixed-race romance was extremely taboo. In fact, there are a lot of people alive today who remember that time. It’s easy to forget that interracial marriage wasn’t made fully legal until 1967 in the United States and in many parts of the world, it’s still taboo.

That’s a travesty. At the same time, it adds a forbidden fruit aspect to the mix. No matter how taboo or unappealing it may be to some, it still happens. It happens a lot. I say that as someone who’s first girlfriend was an Asian woman and I am not Asian. Even though it didn’t work out for us, other relationships find a way. Some go onto produce beautiful mixed-race children.

Taboos aside, I think it’s a beautiful thing. It’s a perfect manifestation of love and sex appeal transcending differences. The fact that mixed-race couples find a way to make it work in a society that loves clinging to bigotry demonstrates just how powerful it can be. When different races mix, beautifully sexy things can happen. Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to acknowledge that beauty. Enjoy!

“The appeal of kinky sex is not that different from the appeal of skydiving.”

“Taboo keeps some men from wearing a thong, but it’s basic male anatomy that dissuades most.”

“Sometimes, a big part of being in love is a willingness to whore yourself to someone for free.”

“It’s difficult for someone to love giving oral sex and have a weak stomach.”

“The measure of a good lover isn’t their ability to find their lover’s G-spot, but their willingness to keep trying.”

“Going to a prostitute for love is like going to a dentist for a prostate exam”

“Very few love stories start or end with an orgy.”

Every love story is unique. It’s even more so for the sexier kind of love stories. As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I’ve come to appreciate the broad spectrum of those stories. Some are more dramatic than others, but not every love story, sexy or otherwise, needs to involve fairy tale endings that involve life-long romance.

Every once in a while, a quick fling that lasts only a few days, if that, can be just as meaningful. It’s not the same kind of romance you get with stories involving star-crossed lovers, but it can be just as compelling. I’ve seen real people experience brief, but passionate flings that barely last a few days. Even though it doesn’t work out long-term, it still has a profound impact.

Personally, I haven’t had too many of those flings in my life. That’s more a side-effect of the poor social skills I wielded for the first half of my life than anything else. However, I’ve seen enough of them play out with others, including a few close friends and relatives, to appreciate their worth. In terms of romance, it may not be the most epic, but it can still be fun.

I know it’s hard to have a fling of any kind, given the current state of the world. One day, hopefully soon, it will be possible again. Given how isolated we’ve all been for the past several months, I think we all could use one. To that end, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you in a romantic, fling-loving mood. Enjoy!

“Isn’t it counterproductive for a romantic evening to wear clothes that are hard to get out of?”

“A friendly divorce is as logical as a horny asexual.”

“Virtual sex is just a much more vivid wet dream.”

“How much porn someone has on their hard drive is not as revealing as what percentage of that drive is used to store it.”

“Hate sex is basically aggressive orgasm seeking.”

“There are remarkably few socially acceptable ways to compliment someone’s genitals.”

“Porn has completely misconstrued how sexy taking a shower actually is most of the time.”

Love is a beautiful thing. If you can find that special someone you love with all your heart, more power to you. Monogamy definitely works for people in that situation. That’s certainly worth celebrating. I love stories about couples who have been together for 50 years as much as the next aspiring erotica/romance writer.

However, love takes many forms. The whole of history and the complexity of human relationships is a testament to that. Sometimes, those forms don’t involve monogamy. There are people who genuinely love each other, but their love is not restricted to one other person. Whether it’s romantic or sexual, it’s a form that can work just as well, if done responsibly.

I understand that the concept of open relationships is still taboo. Even though they genuinely work for certain people, there are plenty in this world who still see it as deviant or flawed. Most of those people have certain political or religious leanings that cloud their judgement. There’s no convincing them that sex, love, and relationships can manifest this form. I discourage anyone from trying.

Instead, celebrate those who do pursue this kind of relationship and do so successfully. Open relationships can be genuinely beneficial for many people. It can bring others closer while allowing people to realize their full sexual selves. Given that the average number of sexual partners is more than one, I think there’s a real benefit to that perspective.

Whether you’re in an open relationship or not, it’s a real thing that real people experience. It can be as fulfilling as it is sexy. To that end, here’s a round of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help celebrate the unique place these relationships have in the romantic world. Enjoy!

“Those who refuse to learn from their mistakes are into an indirect form of BDSM.”

“Divorce rates would be a lot lower if every marriage license required that a couple pass an oral sex test.”

“Being bisexual doesn’t mean you’re twice as horny, but it does mean you have a mathematical edge.”

“A short attention span does not bode well for those who enjoy extended foreplay.”

“The kinkiness of a fantasy is directly proportional to the amount of lube it requires.”

“Strip clubs are basically theme parks for your genitals.”

“A successful marriage isn’t built entirely on orgasms, but they are a major part of the foundation.”

I haven’t always been a huge drinker. In fact, I didn’t come to appreciate alcohol until later in life. It’s like a lot of other acquired tastes. You don’t understand the appeal until you reach a certain stage in your life. Now, I enjoy a good cold beer on a hot summer day as much as anyone. However, when it comes to more potent forms of alcohol, I’m more selective.

I’ve tried various types of more refined, high-grade alcohol over the years. Most were forgettable. A few were downright disgusting. In the end, the hard liquor that won my heart was whiskey. There’s just something about the way it tastes and the way it feels as it goes down your throat that is just pure nirvana.

Now, I don’t consider myself a whiskey connoisseur. However, I feel like I’ve refined my taste enough to know good whiskey from bad whiskey. There is a difference. I question the honesty and sanity of anyone who says otherwise. Cheap whiskey will still get you drunk, but it won’t be an enjoyable process.

I’m not one to grossly overpay for a bottle, but there are a few occasions where splurging is worth it. If you want a quick guide, check this one out from Mens Journal. If you’ve got the money, try some of these unique spirits. Your inner Ron Swanson will thank you. Think of him and the special taste that comes with fancy whiskey as you enjoy these Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Enjoy!

“In terms of your love life, good oral sex is an integral part of your diet.”

“The first person to develop a clown fetish must have had a kinky sense of humor.”

“Whoever said that laughter was the best medicine probably wasn’t having enough orgasms.”

“Learning from mistakes will make you a better lover, but it can also reveal unexpected kinks.”

“Making someone else’s bed always carries the risk of touching their sexual fluids.”

“Children are basically living orgasms.”

“Logistically speaking, really horny supermodels have a much easier time staying in shape.”

Everybody has different tastes. When it comes to alcohol, there are many different ways to enjoy it. Whiskey is just my preferred path. There’s a time for the traditional stuff you find on sale at a liquor store, but there’s also a time for the good stuff. Those times are rare and fleeting, but a nice glass of whiskey only makes them more special.

A close relative of mine once said that every romantic evening begins with a delicious meal. The nature of that meal varied, but when it was the middle of summer, good barbecue often set the mood. I trust that relative’s advice. I won’t get into specifics. I’ll just say that the success they had in their personal life did plenty to prove that point.

Some foods work better during certain times of the year. I know it’s mostly a psychological quirk, but a good meal involves more than just taste. Like eggnog during the holidays, barbecue during the summer just feels right. Whether it’s burgers on the grill or my dad’s famous flank steaks, it just makes summer feel complete.

It also helps that, unlike other traditional summer activities, a global pandemic can’t cancel the joys of barbecue. You just need a grill, a heat source, and some meat. If you need to wear a mask, you can. It doesn’t make the food taste any less delicious when it’s done cooking. If I can do it in my kitchen with a grill pan, then anyone can enjoy its succulent fruits.

It helps even more when you can find someone special to share these meaty meals with. Good food inspires quality loving on all levels. That’s another lesson my relatives have impressed upon me. A good summer barbecue can make everyone feel fulfilled, among other things. In that spirit, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help work up an appetite. Enjoy!

“You know you’ve become a powerful man when sex is offered rather than requested.”

“The intensity of orgasms is only matched by the desire to achieve them.”

“When you think about it, sex in front of a mirror is the most primitive form of interactive porn.”

“Women either grossly underestimate or exceedingly overstate how much porn is on their lover’s computer.”

“We’ll never truly know the identity of the greatest faker of orgasms.”

“If love is a battlefield, then ex-lovers are the double agents.”

“When our toilet is clogged, we all have a plumber fetish on some levels.”

This summer has been a bummer in so many ways. I freely admit that. That’s exactly why we need to cling to the things that 2020 hasn’t ruined for us. We don’t have movies, baseball, water parks, or restaurants this summer, but we still have barbecue. If ever there was a year when we deserved some extra sauce on our ribs, it’s this one.

As I write these words, it’s over 93 degrees out and it’s not even noon. It’s also the third day and a row we’ve had that kind of heat. In my book, that qualifies as a full-blown heat wave. That, in and of itself, isn’t too shocking. It’s July. It’s the middle of summer. It’s going to get hot out. Most people in my area expected that.

However, most people didn’t expect to endure a heat wave in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. That does change things considerably in terms of how we handle it.

In the past, a heat wave was no big deal. It was just a valid reason for me to grab a stack of comics, put on my swim trunks, and hang out by the pool for an afternoon. If the pool was too crowded, I sometimes caught up with some friends, went to a movie, and ate ice cream while watching the latest summer blockbuster. Those were good times. They made you forget about the heat.

Now, very little of that is an option. Every pool in my area is either closed or operating at a limited capacity. Every movie theater is still closed. Most of the restaurants I go to are either closed, only doing delivery, or operating at partial capacity. I’m not saying there are no ways of beating the heat, but it is a lot harder now.

It’s just one of the many things that the pandemic has killed. At the very least, nobody has a right to judge you for walking around your home in your underwear or naked. If ever there was a time to give someone a pass, it’s now. Beating the heat is harder in 2020, but here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help inspire that effort. Enjoy!

“High risks for high rewards tend to inspire the kinkiest kinks.”

“Thrill sex is basically a pop quiz for your genitals.”

“Unattractive people who aren’t rich, but still get laid are more talented than any professional athlete.”

“Any technology that makes sex safer is going to make couples kinkier by default.”

“The fact that idiots often have kids is proof that our genitals are more cunning than our brains.”

“A couple that regularly works on their oral sex skills is a couple who truly love each other.”

“Not wearing a mask during a pandemic is like wearing a mini-skirt without panties.”

Heat waves are a pain to deal with, even when you have air conditioning. There are still ways to manage. I’ve grown fond of getting a cooler full of beer, sitting out on my porch, and reading comics on my iPad. I encourage everyone to get just as creative. This heat wave will pace. This pandemic will pass. When it does, it helps us appreciate the simpler things in life that much more.

I know it’s a day late, but I’ll say it anyway.

Happy Birthday, America!

As I write this, I’m still digesting large amounts of burgers, hot dogs, and beer. I feel like I did my patriotic duty, celebrating my country in my own special way. Granted, there were no big gatherings or fireworks this year and for obvious reasons. That didn’t keep me from celebrating, nor should it prevent anyone else from doing the same.

Whether it’s just some barbecue or re-watching some of your favorite patriotic movies, everyone celebrates their country in their own special way. Now, I understand that celebrating this country hasn’t been easy this year. I’m not ignorant of the news or America’s less-than-flattering history. I freely admit that America has its flaws.

However, there’s a time to focus on those flaws and there’s a time to focus on the ideals that we strive for. The 4^th of July is the latter. I’m a firm believer in those ideals. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness isn’t just a good bumper sticker. It’s a guiding principle for a free country. I believe in pursuing those principles. I believe they’re worth fighting for and striving for.

Yes, we still have a long way to go in living up to those ideals, but that’s what makes the 4^th of July great. It allows us to celebrate how far we’ve come. Make no mistake. We have made progress. It’s never as much as we wish, but progress is still progress. It’s worth celebrating and I hope everyone had a chance to do so. Hopefully, these Sexy Sunday Thoughts can put you in a patriotic mood. Enjoy!

“Whoever said that ignorance was bliss probably had a very unsatisfied lover.”

“Drunk sex is never as fun as drunk foreplay.”

“Horniness is nature’s less threatening way of motivating lazy people.”

“When you think about it, faking orgasms is one of the oldest forms of fake news.”

“Friends with benefits can become very complicated when one friend has a weird kink.”

“There’s a non-zero chance you’ve sat in the back seat of the car where you were conceived.”

“As a general rule, you should put as much effort into hiding your sex toys as you do your porn stash.”

This year has been a big test for America and the world, as a whole. There’s no denying that. When we look back on these trying times, we’ll see our strengths as well as our weaknesses. Hopefully, we’ll learn from them. They’ll become hard lessons on the path of pursuing those American ideals. Having lived through them, we’ll all be stronger and better as a result.

Everybody loves a winner. Everyone loves being a winner. That’s a fact of life. People are always going to be more inclined to cheer for the team that wins the championship. Their feats are more impressive. It’s easy for them to show their worth. Being a winner proves that by default. They don’t need much luck when it comes to attracting the sexier kind of attention.

At the same time, there’s room for the losers. Depending on how they conduct themselves, they can be lovable and attractive in their own unique way. It’s not just because we have a tendency to root for the underdog. A lovable loser is someone who really strives to push themselves, but just can’t get around a particular barrier or obstacle.

People have limits. Sometimes, it’s a product of talent. Sometimes, it’s an matter of circumstances. Whatever the reason, a loser can be lovable when they put up a fight. Even if they can’t come out on top, they can still say they gave it their all. Cowards are rarely attractive, but someone who loses after fighting with all their heart will still be respectable.

Losing is one of those things that really reveals who someone is. A good loser will learn from their mistakes and work to get better. A bad loser will whine about it and blame others. In terms of finding someone worth loving, the former has more to offer than the latter. To all those who lose, yet still learn, these Sexy Sunday Thoughts are for them. Enjoy!

“Learning to make your lover orgasm is the only gift that literally keeps on giving.”

“If you can’t trust someone with your Wi-Fi password, then you can’t trust them to touch your genitals.”

“Finding the right lover requires a willingness to embarrass yourself in the name of romance.”

“For those with a good sense of humor, laughter is both the best medicine and the best aphrodisiac.”

“Whoever deemed patience a virtue probably had a frustrating sex life.”

“Money can’t buy love, but it enables us to be horny in luxury.”

“Statistically speaking, you’re likely to find someone who appreciates oral sex at a dentist’s office.”

Champions will make the case that winning is everything. At a certain level, that’s true. At others, it’s just the primary goal. Many will try. Only a few will win. Most of us will lose in any endeavor we take on. It’s just a matter of how we navigate it and how we learn from it. That ultimately reveals the kind of person we are and, when handled honorably, it can attract others for all the right reasons.

I’ve said it before. I’ll keep saying it whenever I get the opportunity. This just happens to be a better opportunity than most. It’s Father’s Day again. That means I can once again stand atop the highest mountain and proclaim to the world one simple truth.

My dad is awesome!

I say that knowing he’ll probably read this at some point. I genuinely hope he reads it today. Yes, I know the subject matter of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts can be quite seamy. I don’t care. I’m still going to use this as an opportunity to remind the world that my dad is the absolute best. There are many ways he’s earned that right. I’ve shared a few, but there are too many for me to put into words.

On Father’s Day, I just try to remind him of how great he is. I am the man I am because of him. He taught me, guided me, and loved me as much as any father could. I didn’t always make it easy for him. Looking back, I realize that I was a difficult child at times. I tested my father on numerous occasions, but he always passed with flying colors.

He was patient, understanding, strong, caring, compassionate, kind, and a whole host of other words that aren’t in a thesaurus. As a kid, you don’t always appreciate it. As an adult, you just love him even more. Dad, whenever you do get around to reading this, know that you really are that awesome. These Father’s Day edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts are for you. Enjoy!

“Most romantic gestures function as an indirect effort to give someone an orgasm.”

“You can’t be be kinky without a certain mix of bravery and imagination.”

“Pity sex is the only reason cowards haven’t gone extinct.”

“When you think about it, marriage only exists as an institution because we don’t trust people with their own genitals.”

“Awkward boners take on a very different meaning in nudist colonies.”

“A handsome man will never get laid as often as a trashy woman.”

“Is a threeway with identical twins still a threeway?”

To all the other awesome fathers out there, of which there are many, I hope you use this day to celebrate. You’ve earned it. Your kids might not always understand you and you might not always understand them. Even so, a father’s love is special and worthy of celebrating.

Happy Father’s Day!