November 15, 2016 · 6:52 am

What BDSM Tells Us About Authority And Our Future

Let’s face it, we humans need some semblance of order in our lives. As a species, we just don’t function well in chaos. We’re a species that will riot in the streets because we’re glad our favorite basketball team won the championship. If aliens landed tomorrow, we’d have a very hard time explaining that to them.

Order and authority is a big part of what makes society function. It’s a big part of what helps humanity survive. As caveman logic tells us, our brains and bodies are wired for only two things: survival and reproduction. They’re wired, designed, and maintained poorly, as I’ve pointed out many times before, but there are over 7 billion of us surviving and reproducing on this planet right now so we must be doing something right.

This leads me to the wonderful world of BDSM. Yes, I know that sounds like a non-sequiter. Yes, I know that sounds like an excuse for me to talk about overtly sexual topics again. No, I will not apologize for it. I don’t think I need to explain myself at this point, nor should I have to.

In reading and writing about BDSM, I’ve picked up on a few underlying themes. Since my brain works in elaborately perverse ways, I often find myself applying those themes to the world around me. BDSM is no exception. If anything, it’s the basic standard.

Earlier this year, I completed a draft of a book called “The Big Game.” It’s a book that explores various forms of BDSM, but not just because I think readers enjoy the mental image of a star male athlete being whipped in the ass by a sexy female librarian type, although I’m sure that has its own kind of appeal.

In this story, I try to apply the principles of BDSM to a bigger picture. That bigger picture has a lot to do with how we function as a society and how we see authority. Some people inherently flaunt authority. Some people desperately need it. Human thought is incredibly diverse on the subject, but whatever our sentiment, it still affects us.

At its core, BDSM cuts through all the chaff, uncertainties, and formalities. When you read about BDSM or practice it, you know who’s in charge. You know who has the authority and who doesn’t. It’s an extremely simplistic scenario that requires little thought. The fact it often involves sex is just a bonus and a damn good bonus if done right.

In many respects, BDSM takes advantage of the biological wiring that’s already in place. There is actual science behind our inclination to obey and conform. A large body of research shows that humans have a genetic and psychological predisposition to obedience and conformity.

When you look at it through the lens of caveman logic, it makes sense. In our caveman state, we can’t dedicate all this mental energy into deciding whether or not we should trust or obey someone. That would be like holding a jury trial just to determine who gets to pick the restaurant on a date night. It’s a wholly inefficient use of our time and energy.

We need to use those resources for more vital issues like securing meat for the winter and doing enough humping to ensure our tribe has enough people to continue. Natural selection does the rest. That’s why nature instills this in our collective psyche. It helps us get along, work together, and survive long enough to get frisky.

However, like most other natural forces within our biology, it’s not that fine-tuned. Nature is a blunt instrument and not a scalpel. If our brains and bodies were computers, then they we’d say they had been wired by a drunk office temp with a bad attitude and a knack for laziness. As a result, this vital programming for obedience and conformity lay the foundation for BDSM.

It’s in this context where our biological programming for obedience goes to an extreme. The fact those extremes bring some people to orgasm only makes it more powerful. When there’s a lot of uncertainty in the world, we naturally look for whatever certainty we can find. As I said before, you can’t get much more certain than who dominates who in BDSM.

Submission, dominance, obedience, and authority are all streamlined in BDSM. You don’t need to dedicate a lick of mental energy to scrutinize the situation. Everything is perfectly structured. Everything is perfectly laid out. For many perfectly healthy people who are concerned about an unhealthy world, there’s a lot of appeal in that situation.

At its core, BDSM acknowledges that we human beings aren’t built, physically or mentally, to be complete independent. We need to submit or dominate certain aspects of our lives. It’s the only way we can make sense of the world and ourselves. That’s a big reason why BDSM experiences are so powerful for some people. It’s also a big reason why it has such appeal.

So what does this mean for our future? Well, that’s a bit trickier to answer. We like to think we’re progressing to a point where we can meet all our physical and emotional needs through technology. That’s not entirely wrong, but a big part of those needs is to have some form of stable authority.

As kids, that authority is our parents. As young adults, that authority is our teachers, law enforcement, and fellow peers. As adults, that authority is our spouses, our bosses at work, or our friends. We built our lives around authority. A part of us needs some kind of authority to submit to. Some need it more than others. Most of us need it more than we care to admit.

The future will create all sorts of new uncertainties. With over 7 billion people with countless (often conflicting) needs, we’ll need some form of authority to make sense of ti all. I don’t know what form that authority will take, but it’s an idea I intend to explore.

It’s also an idea I intend to make sexy in some strange way, but that should be a given at this point. After all, if BDSM can give authority so much sex appeal, then why not embrace it along with our future as a species?

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November 14, 2016 · 6:35 am

Thought Experiment On Democracy (The Non-Boring Kind)

I imagine that after last week, everybody is sick of politics, elections, and democracy in general. Believe me, I feel your pain. I almost long for the days when the news dedicated most of its time to what was going on with Kim Kardashian’s ass. Now that the 2016 Election is over, we can all stop fighting the urge to throw a brick at our TVs.

Now don’t worry. This post is not going to be about politics, at least not in the Anderson Cooper type tradition. I remain committed to keeping this blog relatively free of overly political bullshit that would otherwise kill the sexy mood I’m trying to create with my novels. While there are some political undertones in this topic, it’s not the kind that make most people want to beat each other to death with a sack of hammers.

This post is about something a bit more thought-provoking, at least that’s my hope. It’s another thought experiment. I’ve posed them before on this blog on other topics like disease and attitudes towards jealousy. I think it’s helpful to get people thinking about a difficult issue and this is as difficult as it comes these days.

More than anything else, the 2016 election in America highlights the flaws in democracy. It is prone to the irrational, irresponsible whims of our caveman brains. Those brains are wired in a way where we don’t give enough of a damn about what is actually true and instead go with how something makes us feel.

This is why demagogues, hypocrites, liars, cheaters, and reality TV stars can run for office and actually win. These people are smart enough to understand that the mass public doesn’t care if you’re a liar or a cheat. If you tell them what they want to hear and make them feel good, they’ll vote for you.

This is exactly why even the great Winston Churchill was critical of democracy. He said it himself.

Democracy, as beautiful a thing it is, has room for improvement. It’s definitely an improvement on the Game of Thrones style governments of the past where kings could routinely spit on peasants and shoot them for sport if he wanted. There are still tyrants in this world, but their governments tend to fail miserably in the long run. Just look at North Korea.

So rather than just throw democracy out entirely, why not give it some added polish? Why not look for ways to make it better? The Founding Fathers of America did that. People often forget that the first form of government they chose wasn’t the Constitution. It was the Articles of Confederation, which was so flawed that it didn’t even last a decade.

With that in mind, let’s channel the wisdom of the Founding Fathers and look at our current forms of government, not just in America, but all around the world. How do we improve it? How do we make it better, more efficient, and more just?

It’s a hard (if not impossible) question to answer. Many have tried though. Listverse even compiled a list of bizarre, hypothetical governments that have never been tried, but do seek to make improvements over the current system.

Some aren’t all that radical. The concept of the Perfect Commonwealth or Jeffersonian Democracy all have concepts that are fairly well-rooted in the real world, if not historically, then most certainly practically. Then, you get much weirder concepts like Liquid Democracy or Technocracy, which require more imagination than bureaucracy.

These are all interesting/strange/downright crazy ideas. So for the sake of this argument, let’s keep them all in mind as we conjure a better form of democracy. Let your imagination go a little crazy and conjure a government that might actually work in the real world.

Having done this thought experiment already in my own slightly crazy brain, I have an idea I’d like to share. It’s not something James Madison would probably approve of, but here it is. I even have a name for it.

Negative Democracy

Now don’t let the name scare you. I’m not talking about a democracy that will allow the King Joffrey’s of the world to reign supreme. I’m talking about a form of democracy that takes the current flaws, turns them upside down, and keeps them there so that the current corruption doesn’t get a chance to return.

So how does it work? Well, it goes like this:

  • There are three tiers: local, state, and federal
  • The local tier elects its leaders by popular vote
  • The state tier elects its governor by popular vote, but legislators are appointed by the local-elected officials
  • The federal tier elects its congressperson by popular vote, but the president/prime mister is appointed by a 2/3 vote by state governors
  • Every year on the first Saturday of November, the people can vote to remove any appointed and/or elected representative at any level if the vote is greater than 2/3 of the population

I know it’s basic, crude, and simplistic. I’m no Thomas Jefferson. That much, I admit. However, I make these points to highlight one key component of Negative Democracy that makes it unique.

It doesn’t focus as much on electing officials to public office as it does on removing those who don’t do a good job. Here in America, we do way too good a job at electing incompetent officials. The Constitution says a lot about how to elect these officials. It says far less about removing them.

That’s the key, Negative Democracy. You remove the incompetent, corrupt elements of government in hopes of allowing better, more qualified officials to fill the void. At some point, somebody who isn’t a total screw-up should come to power. Even politics is subject to the law of averages.

The second key is that democratic elections be held on the local and state level for the most part. Why is this important? That’s because people tend to be more in tuned with the officials in their neighborhood. They’re more likely to interact with the mayor or city council than they are a senator or a President.

As such, those local officials are closer to their constituents. They’re more likely to know them personally and when you know someone personally, you’re less likely to screw them over. It’s one thing for total strangers to hate you. For your own community to turn against you is pretty powerful. Only a select few have the ego and cruelty to try a terrible stunt like that.

Under this system, most of the federal officials are appointed and don’t have to run an election campaign. They can still be voted out of office every year if their constituents don’t like what they’re doing, but the key is they don’t run expensive, dishonest campaigns in the first place. They get appointed, they go to the capital, and they do their job.

If you think that might be prone to corruption, I don’t doubt there’s a chance. There’s a chance for corruption in every form of human-centered governance. It’s just a matter of managing the incentives to cheat as much as possible.

There’s a reason why the Judicial Branch of government in America gets less press and is often seen as the most effective branch. It gets to exercise Judicial Independence. Judges in this branch don’t have to run for office and they don’t need to be re-elected. They can, in principle, lose their jobs if they do something egregious, but those instances are rare.

So much time, energy, and money is spent on just electing officials. In a large, diverse country like the United States, that’s wholly impractical. For every country and society, the emphasis of all government should be to maintain rule of law, protect people from harm, and manage public services. It’s a difficult, if not impossible task to accomplish, but it’s too important not to be improved upon.

With this in mind, I challenge others to conduct this same thought experiment. What sort of new government system would you come up with? What would you call it? How would it work? Share it! During these trouble timed, these are definitely ideas worth exploring.

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November 13, 2016 · 9:47 am

The Standard Model Of Romance (And Why It Needs Updating)

A big part of being a romance/erotica writer often involves reading about romance/erotica in general. I know that sounds like common sense, right up there with mechanics driving cars to learn more about cars, but it’s not as common as you might think.

Now I confess that when I began writing years ago, I didn’t do much reading. I didn’t enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Trust me, it showed in some of my early work. Some of those pieces (which I hope never see the light of day) made it painfully obvious that didn’t read as much as I should on the subject.

As I’ve gotten older and refined my skill, I’ve done more and more reading. I don’t just read about erotica/romance. I try to read a bit of everything to get a feel for what it means to tell a story. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a 500-page novel or a 22-page comic like X-men. They still have lessons to tell.

At the moment, I’m reading a book called “Sex At Dawn” by Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha, Allyson Johnson, and Jonathan Davis. Now this isn’t a standard romance/erotica story like “Skin Deep” or “Jackpot.” This is a non-fiction book that explores the hidden side of human sexuality, scrutinizing our assumptions about romance, sex, and the social norms guiding these forces.

It’s interesting to me because it gives me some insight into the lesser known aspects of romance/erotica. There are so many stories that try to fit the romance and erotic components into the same framework we, as a society, have always embraced without question. I’ve found it’s more interesting to step outside that framework every now and then.

Now I’ve just started this book so I can’t give my whole assessment just yet. However, the first two chapters do highlight an important component that’s worth bringing up. The authors call it “The Standard Model” of romance. That model goes a little something like this:

  1. Boy meets girl
  2. Boy assesses girl for health, beauty, fidelity, and an ability to sire healthy offspring
  3. Girl assesses boy for wealth, strength, ability to provide, ability to protect offspring, and a capacity to remain faithful and not stray
  4. Boy and girl pass assessment, enter into a series of formal and informal agreements to love, cohabit, and provide for one another
  5. Boy and girl enjoy early passion, begin a family, and grow together
  6. Boy and girl start to lose interest as passion fades, becoming less sexually satisfied even if love remains strong
  7. Boy begins looking elsewhere for other young, fertile women
  8. Girl begins looking elsewhere for young, virile men
  9. Constant struggle endures, straining relationship

I agree that this model is grossly oversimplified and somewhat formulaic. I don’t doubt that there are plenty of romances, real and fictional, that don’t follow this model closely. However, it’s a model that accurately reflects the ideals and principles that modern society has ascribed to romance and sex.

This book, however, dares to question whether these ideals and principles are actually viable. It also dares to question whether these ideals and principles are even natural to the human condition.

This definitely resonates with me because it fits into my frequent discussions regarding caveman logic, a phrase I love throwing around on this blog to explain the peculiarities of the human condition, both in and out of the bedroom. It also resonates with me because it helps nurture some of my ideas for future novels.

In addition to the inspiration, I also think that our assumptions surrounding this model need greater scrutiny, if only to better-prepare ourselves for meaningful romance. At the moment, the model doesn’t exactly have a stellar record.

In most of the industrialized world, divorce rates are over 50 percent. If a model isn’t working more than half the time, then that’s a clear sign that it needs tweaking. If a car broke down more than half the time, why would anyone drive it? Humans are great at building tools, but when it comes to updating the ways in which we love and make love, our ability to adapt is nothing short of glacial.

The Standard Model is outdated. That’s the primary message that “Sex At Dawn” sends during the first few chapters. It wasn’t adapted for modern, secular society. It emerged 10,000 years ago as a direct result of mankind’s transition from hunter/gatherer societies to sedentary/farming societies.

For the fast majority of human history, people lived on farms and toiled in the fields. That kind of work is less and less necessary these days, due in large part to industrialization and better technology. The Standard Model worked perfectly for that system because it meant keeping women focused on child-rearing while men did most of the work to provide food/safety. That system just doesn’t work as well in our current system of cities, cars, and Big Macs.

So if that system doesn’t work as well anymore, what do we do? Which system does work in a modern society where few people toil on farms and fields? That’s not a rhetorical question. That’s a real, honest question that is worth asking. It hasn’t been answered yet and I feel not enough people are daring to ask it.

I get that there are still those in society who wish to cling to the older ways, seeing the Standard Model as something traditional, moral, and ethical. That’s all well and good, but that’s basically the same as an opinion. It’s as valid as random tweet these days. We’re too diverse and erratic as a species. One model is simply never going to be enough to accommodate the needs and passions of every individual.

Every species, be it human or insect, needs to adapt their systems to a changing environment. The environment for humans is changing so rapidly that some refuse to even acknowledge that change, as if they’re worried about what it implies. There aren’t many constants to human systems, but the desire to love and make love is one of them.

For the sake of our future and that of our descendants, we need to adapt a system that will meet those desires. If we don’t, we’re all in for a cold, lonely, unfulfilled tomorrow. I’m not nearly equipped to create such a system, but I can offer some interesting/sexy ideas with my novels.

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November 12, 2016 · 8:42 am

Random Crazy/Sexy Idea: Weed Romance

Every now and then, I’ll wake up on a weekend morning feeling restless, anxious, and unable to turn my twisted brain off. It’s part of what led me to start writing novels. I come up with all sorts of crazy ideas at crazy times of the day or week. Some of them make for fun, sexy stories. Sometimes you just gotta play the cards you’re dealt.

This morning was no different. I had planned to sleep in. That plan went to shit, as it often does, when I started thinking about a new idea for a novel. Yes, I know I’m still working hard to get books like “Passion Relapse” and “Embers of Eros” published, but you never stop coming up with new ideas. If you do, then you’re probably brain dead and aren’t reading this blog anyways.

So I’m lying in bed thinking about recent events. Beyond the annoying politics I try desperately to avoid, something amazing did happen this past week. Four states, namely California, Nevada, Main, and Massachusetts, voted to legalize marijuana. They join Colorado, Alaska, Oregon, and Washington among the growing list of states ending a 70-year prohibition on a drug that is widely seen as less harmful than alcohol.

As a result of this landmark shift, nearly a quarter of the population of the United States now live in areas where marijuana is legal or will be legal. It’s a strange, but dramatic shift in a society that’s used to seeing weed only in high school bathrooms, rap videos, and Seth Rogen movies. It promises significant change in our culture, which has always been one that’s fond of getting high.

Now I have nothing against weed. I’ve never tried it. I drink whiskey and beer to get my buzz, but I have no problem with anyone who chooses weed as their intoxicant of choice. I don’t favor making these sorts of things illegal, just as I don’t favor making exposed breasts illegal. More boobs and more weed and more beer can only help make the world a better place.

With that in mind, an idea came to me. I’m not saying it’s an idea that’ll lead to the next big vampire craze or something like that. It’s just a crazy idea from a guy who has more than his share of them. So here it is:

Why not combine marijuana with romance to create a new genre: Weed Romance?

Say it out loud: Weed Romance. It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a romantic story that is inspired/fueled/realized through marijuana. Has such a story been told? Can such a story be told? Can it be made sexy to sweeten the appeal?

These are all questions that haven’t been asked much, let alone answered. I feel like these questions will be worth answering more and more as marijuana legalization moves forward. There’s already a trend in place. There’s a cultural shift underway. So why shouldn’t our romance/erotica stories change with it?

Think about it. How many romance stories, erotica novels, or low-budget pornos begin in a bar with two people getting drinks? It’s the kind of scenario that has been playing out in some form or another since the days of Humphrey Bogart. We all know it. We’ve all seen in in a myriad of ways. So why not try something different?

Picture this new scenario. Two people walk into a marijuana club. They get themselves a couple of buds and order some burritos on the side. They start smoking. They get a little high. They get a little hungry. Then, their eyes meet. First, they comment on how eyelashes sometimes look like spiderwebs. Then, they start sharing a burrito. From there, it starts to blossom.

Sure, it sounds weird now. It probably wouldn’t even make it into a Seth Rogen movie, but it does have some science backing it. Like alcohol, marijuana has been documented to have positive effects on sexual experiences. Also like alcohol, there are some negative effects, but there are negative effects to everything if you overdo it. So why let that kill the mood?

It may be too soon for Weed Romance to be a thing. However, I’d like to give it some serious thought for future novels. I have other ideas brewing, but this one really intrigues me. If our culture really is changing, then why not embrace it in our erotica/romance?

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November 11, 2016 · 9:58 am

Happy Veterans Day!

This is going to be another one of those dead serious posts. I promise I’ll get back to talking about things like sleeping naked, sex robots, and sex-positive superheroes. Believe me, I have plenty to discuss and I have a hard time turning my sexy imagination off. For today though, I need to be serious.

Today is a very important day. It’s Veterans Day, the day we in America take the time to appreciate all the men and women who have served in the armed forces. Say what you will about America’s foreign policy, military industrial complex, and bad Michael Bay movies, but these men and women are a special breed.

It takes a lot for a human being to sacrifice life, limb, and family for their country. It takes even more to venture into a war zone far from home, fighting enemies that are every bit as human as they are. It can be heart-wrenching, gut-wrenching, and everything in between for them and their families.

They still do it though. They still rise to the occasion to serve their country and protect their fellow citizens. Their sacrifice is one we should appreciate every day and not just one holiday out of the year, but if ever there was something worth creating a holiday over, it’s this.

Many of us know someone who served in the military. My own family actually has quite a few. I have relatives who served in the army and the marines. Some even fought in Vietnam. I even have a grandfather who fought in World War II. They served their country. Then, they came back and served their families. I can’t think of a higher calling than that.

Along with this calling, there are also issues with veterans that need to be addressed. According to the National Alliance to End Homelessness, there were nearly 50,000 homeless veterans in 2014. Many of those homeless veterans have physical and mental disabilities. Many are also minorities. This kind of hardship is unacceptable for those who serve.

If you want to help a veteran on this day, I encourage everyone to donate to the Wounded Warriors Project. Show your support. Help a veteran in need. Show them the love and appreciation they both deserve and earned for serving their country.

So on behalf of the twisted mind that is Jack Fisher, I wish everyone a happy Veterans Day. To all the veterans out there, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. In case you need something to lift your spirits on this hallowed day, I give you this video that should help warm your heart.

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November 10, 2016 · 6:22 am

The Age Of (Sex) Robots Is Upon Us!

After this week, I imagine everyone is sick of politics, elections, and even democracy in general. People, I share your pain and frustration. I’m sick of it too. There’s not enough whiskey and comics in the world dull my frustration with American politics this year.

With that in mind, I’d like to talk about something far less controversial and far less frustrating. I’d like to talk about something that is fun, apolitical, and relevant for everyone. So what could possibly fit all those criteria? What could possibly unite the internet in a positive way for an aspiring erotica/romance writer? I admit I struggled with this question. Then, it came to me.

One word: blowjobs.

I can’t think of anything that isn’t dipped in chocolate that inspires more unity and joy in people. Let’s face it, you could be having the worst day of your life, but if it ended with a blowjob (or a thorough oral excavation in the sacred valley for the ladies), that day will feel that much better.

So in our unity over the joys of oral sex, I’d like to bring robots into the equation. No, that’s not a non-sequiter. No, I’m not trying to kill the mood. There’s a reason I’m bringing robots into this conversation. It’s the same reason we bring robots into a lot of conversations these days. We usually bring them up when they’re about to enslave us and/or make something better and more efficient. I’m here to talk about the latter.

I’ve already talked about sex and robots before on this blog. I’ll likely talk about them again because chances are, one of my future erotica/romance novels will feature a sexy robot of some sorts. I know myself. At some point, this is going to happen for me. It’s only a matter of time and energy.

However, before my perverse imagination can craft a steamy erotica/romance story around sexy robots, the real world will need to catch up. Believe it or not, the world is farther along than you think. What do I mean by that?

I mean there’s a café opening in Switzerland where customers can come in, get a couple of coffee, and then get a blowjob from a robot prostitute if they want. No, this is not the plot of some low-budget softcore porn on Cinemax. This is real. This is actually happening.

It used to be a joke, a future where we would start having sex with robots. I still remember a time when the thought of having sex with a robot was akin to talking dirty with C-3PO form Star Wars. It didn’t have that much appeal, even to comic book nerds like me. Now, robotics has advanced to a point where robots can give us blowjobs. It’s an amazing thought with some pretty profound possibilities.

The fine folks at ThinkTank even did a piece on this. Granted, their tone was somewhat humored and full of dirty jokes. I can’t say I blame them though. Those things are bound to happen whenever we start talking about blowjobs, but I think there’s a more serious issue here that we can’t ignore.

Robots are rapidly advancing. The pace of technology is advancing as well. With Siri, Alexa, and Cortana, we’ve already allowed robots into our homes to some extent. These robots don’t have mouths, butts, penises, or vaginas yet, but I’m pretty sure someone is working on that in a lab as we speak.

This means it’s likely that within our lifetime, we’ll see a robot, male and female, that will be a fully functional sex partner. This partner will be programmable, capable of catering to our whims in needs in ways that no human ever could. Robots, by their nature, are not bound by the same limits as fleshy, frail humans. That means that, theoretically speaking, they could be vastly superior lovers in every way.

Think about it. For men, that means having a lover that never ages, never gets moody, never cheats (unless you want her to), and doesn’t complain when you want to try something you read about in 50 Shades of Grey. For women, the benefits are the same, but these lovers also never need Viagra, never fall asleep after five minutes, and never skip the foreplay. They are, quite literally, the ultimate lovers.

This café in Switzerland is just the first step. It may seem crude now. The robots they’ll use probably won’t look like Kate Hudson or Megan Fox. To us, it’ll be a novelty reserved for a select few. If you think that makes it a fad, consider the following. Cell phones used to be reserved for Wall Street tycoons and drug kingpins. Also, they looked like this.

Now, cell phones are so ubiquitous and cheap that people in third-world countries can have the same cell phone model that Wall Street types have, albeit theirs probably aren’t plated in gold. In some cases, a cell phone is as cheap as a cup of coffee and works a billion times better than the old models of the 1980s.

That’s only 30 years worth of technological advancement. Now apply that to sex robots. Right now, we’ve got robots that can give people blowjobs along with their lattes. That’s not much, but fast forward 30 years and dare yourself to speculate. What kind of sex robots will be on the market by then? How cheap and accessible will they be? What kind of features will they have?

It’s hard to say. Even my dirty imagination can’t contemplate every lurid possibility, but I’ll certainly try in one of my future novels. Whatever comes of my novels, we may look back on this day when robots began giving blowjobs as an important historical event. The day when sex robots finally began to please us in ways we cannot do for one another is surely a day that will change the course of human history.

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November 9, 2016 · 6:26 am

Fear, Dread, And Cute Animals

This is a quick message to all my fellow Americans out there. If you’re living in another country with good internet access at the moment, take a break and count your blessings. I think we can all agree that there are a lot of Americans right now who need a hug, a kiss, and maybe a bottle of hard liquor.

These are scary times, I know. The day after an election has never been this scary before. There are people out there who genuinely fear for their lives, their safety, and their livelihoods. I understand that. Some scary things are happening right now and at the risk of belaboring those things, I’m not going to repeat them. I’ll just say this.

Be calm

Be strong

Relax

The human race has endured its share of dark, dire times. We’ve endured horrific catastrophes that sent our species to the brink of extinction. We’ve fought world wars, major economic depressions, and the collapse of civilizations. We, the human race, have found a way to endure. We’re strong. We’re resilient. We also are very good at making love and making babies to make up for our lost numbers.

With all that in mind, I implore you to take a step back, take a deep breath, and look forward. There’s only so much we can control in this world. The best we can do is keep moving forward and contributing in our own way.

I can’t do much other than tell sexy, romantic stories with my novels. I intend to keep doing that for the foreseeable future. I have so many stories to tell and I look forward to sharing them with a world that really needs to get laid more.

Beyond that, I intend to keep moving forward. For those of you who may find that difficult, I give to you the best possible medicine for fear and dread: funny animal videos. Enjoy!

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November 8, 2016 · 6:15 am

Happy Election Day! Now Go Vote!

I go out of my way to avoid politics on this blog. I’ll gladly discuss touchy social issues like feminism, sexual objectification, and religion, but I’ll pump the breaks the nanosecond that discussion gets too political. This isn’t an accident either. I avoid politics for the same reason I avoid hungry grizzly bears on crack. There’s just no way to discuss it rationally.

I used to talk a lot about politics. I even tried creating a few blogs to share my political views. Those blogs are now long gone and if they ever came back, I’d shoot them on sight because I’ve from experience that they’re a waste of time. Discussing politics on the internet is like trying to hammer a nail with a feather duster. It’s an unfit medium and an unfit tool for an ugly, unsexy topic.

All that said, politics is still a big part of our lives. It affects us whether we like it or not. In fact, you could argue that it affects those who don’t like it far more than those who do. Politics is like the dirty diapers of civilization. They’re ugly, they stink, and they need to be frequently changed. That’s exactly why citizens of democratic societies, like the United States, need to get out there and vote.

Today is Election Day. Today is the day where we elect the leaders who will guide the political discourse for the near-future. Say what you will about how unsavory politicians are. Make all the jokes you want about how they lie, cheat, and steal. Here, I’ll even post one.

Laugh all you want. It’s good to have a sense of humor during difficult times, but there’s a time for dirty jokes about virgin prostitutes and there’s a time for civic duty. I’m usually more intrigued by the former, but the latter is far more important on a day like this.

I’m not going to take a position on who you should vote for or what party you should vote for. I’m not even going to mention the names of any candidates. That’s just giving them more attention that they deserve and far more than they need at this point. You know their names. You know which party they belong to. You don’t need an erotica/romance writer adding to the chaos.

So please, my fellow Americans, go out there and vote! It may not be in my best interest to say this, but take a break from the sexier issues of life and do your civic duty. When all is said and done, reward yourself for participating in such an important process.

For me, after I vote, I intend to go home, take off all my clothes, turn up the heat, and read comics for the rest of the day while drinking hot chocolate. That’s as good a reward as I can give myself without getting a beautiful woman involved. Whatever reward you deem most fitting, use that as motivation. Use whatever you can to get out there and vote!

Say what you will about the inefficiencies of our government and our civilization as a whole. It only works if the people involved give enough of a crap to participate. This is your chance to show that you matter. Go for it and then reward yourself with something sexy afterwards. You’ll have earned it!

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November 7, 2016 · 7:03 am

Relax! The World Is Getting Better.

Let’s not lie to ourselves. For those of us in America, the 2016 Presidential Election feels like a prolonged prostate exam without lube and delivered by Andre the Giant while wearing a boxing glove. In my adult life (and my non-adult life, for that matter), I’ve never become so disillusioned by democracy. The comic book fan in me wants to elect Dr. Doom over any of these choices.

For the non-comic book fans out there, Dr. Doom is seen as one of the most devious villains in the history of comics. He is the alpha and omega of all that is evil. I know this. I understand this. I have no problem saying that I’d still vote for him over the two deep-fried turds we have running this year.

It’s a sad, solemn state for this country that I love. I know we’re a walking joke of hillbillies, rednecks, hippies, and PETA supporters that the rest of the world can easily make fun of, but I really do love this country. I really love being an American. Where else can a comic book fan who writes erotica/romance in his spare time feel at home?

I’m not going to lie though. I’m scared about the election tomorrow. We, the citizens of the United States of America, may vote to give nuclear weapons to someone who may just use them because someone made a bad joke on Twitter. That is fucking terrifying.

While fear is going to make me wake up early to cast my vote, I do try to maintain at least some sense of optimism. I emphasize the word try because that’s pretty damn hard these days. We live in an era where anyone can sit down on a bench, take out their phone, and search for every form of obscure fetish porn. If you can find fetish porn, then you can find some news story that says the world is going to hell.

Just look at some of the news stories that come out of Florida. They’ll make you wish you were born retarded lizard.

As a result of all this fear, frustration, and an ability to find anything on the internet that makes you horny, it’s easy to overlook the fact that things are actually getting better for the human race.

Seriously, it’s true. Things are getting better. People today are better of than their ancestors were 100 years ago. Hell, people are better off today than our ancestors were 25 years ago. Today, people have high speed internet, Netflix, and free porn. That’s objectively better than any era in history by default.

It’s not just our access to movies and porn that make life better though. Despite what certain political parties say at their convention, things are getting better in terms of crime, violence, and overall deviance. I know that’s hard to believe when Fox News shows a new story about minority protesters beating up babies every other hour, but the actual facts (an alien concept to most media these days) don’t bear that out.

Reason.com, a great site for keeping things in perspective if you can sift through the pro-marijuana articles written by stoners, did a great article a few years ago at just how much progress we’ve made as a species. Sure, there’s still poverty. There’s still violence. There’s still reality TV shows that won’t die. Overall though, it’s still pretty damn good.

For most of human history, kids didn’t live long enough to see their second birthday. A good chunk of the female population died in childbirth. The best modern medicine you could get involved leaches and herbs that tasted like shit. Men either toiled in fields or died on whatever battlefields the kings of the day decreed. It was not a pleasant life and not just because it had poor wi-fi.

Don’t believe me? Well, check out the facts for yourself. A site called HumanProgress.org compiles and tracks the data surrounding what we associate with human progress. You’ll find information on things like violence, infant morality, LGBT rights, hate crimes, and racial issues. You’ll also find information on economic issues (good for the insomniacs out there) that put a dollar sign on these issues.

That’s not to say that all trends are going in a positive direction. As I said before, humanity has room for improvement. We still kill each other over what we think happens when we die and fail to see the irony. There are things we do have to work on, but actual data should give us reasons to be hopeful.

For instance, here’s a chart that shows trends in violent crime since the early 1970s. It’s not going up. It’s going down. We’re not turning into a society right out of an old NWA music video. We’re getting a lot better at not shooting and raping each other. That’s a good thing in my book, or anyone’s book for that matter.

 

Then, there’s this little tidbit about children. That’s another issue that should be completely apolitical. We love children and we don’t like seeing them die because of preventable causes. For most of human history, countless children did die because of diseases, disasters, and circumstances we couldn’t do shit about. Well, things have changed. We’ve gotten better at saving the lives of children. In fact, we’ve gotten a lot better.

It’s not just crime and health that are improving either. These may be objective statistics, but if anyone has learned anything about the 2016 Presidential Election, it’s that nobody gives a half-fart about statistics and facts. We go with our feelings, no matter how wrong or misguided they may be.

That can be pretty troubling, the idea that we humans can’t accept the fact that the world is getting better and are doomed to always dread the future. While it is troubling, it’s also inaccurate because things are getting better in the most subjective sense possible: happiness.

That’s right. People are actually happier today than they were 25 years ago. Sure, happiness is one of the most subjective feelings in the world, right up there with tastes in food, movies, and sexual fetishes. It’s still one of the most valuable measures we have towards gauging the state of the human condition and it is getting better.

We’re happier. We’re healthier. We’re more equal, free, and prosperous than we’ve ever been at any time in human history. That, by any measure, is something to be thankful for. It’s something to celebrate.

Now it’s entirely possible that the results of the election tomorrow could reverse all these trends, but baring a nuclear war, that’s very unlikely. This is where caveman logic really works in our favor. When we humans find something that works for us, we tend to stick to it and do everything we can to keep doing it. Again, there’s room for improvement, but we’re making progress.

We’re kicking ass as a civilization. We’re becoming more advanced, more tolerant, and more prosperous. We should all celebrate that, election or not. I’ll celebrate with a glass of whiskey and some of my favorite romance/erotica novels. I encourage everyone to celebrate as well.

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November 6, 2016 · 9:08 am

“Passion Relapse” Edits Complete And Sent!

Well it took several late nights, a few extra glasses of whiskey, and more than one setback along the way, but I did it! I completed the edits to my “Passion Relapse” manuscript and sent it to the publisher. Now, it’s back to my least favorite part of the process, which is waiting for a response/rejection.

To date, I’ve endured mostly rejections and/or frustrating delays for other books, namely “Embers of Eros.” I’m really hoping that this response from “Passion Relapse” is a sign. The publisher I’m working with has been a lot more responsive than others. They’ve actually taken the time to discuss revisions with me rather than just rejecting it outright. To me, that shows they’re serious to some degree.

It still remains to be seen just how serious they are. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much. Like I said, most of my efforts to get a publisher on my side has ended in rejection. While I am frustrated, I am not discouraged. I have plenty more ideas for sexy, romantic stories and I intend to pursue those ideas.

However, I understand that I still cannot get my ideas out there without the aid of a publisher. As much as I enjoy talking about crazy sexy issues on this blog, I would like to make a career out of writing erotica/romance novels. I’m not Stephen King (yet) so I’m a long way from that goal at the moment. I really do hope that changes soon.

With “Passion Relapse,” I think it’s a solid demonstration of what I can do. It’s a story that emphasizes both romance and erotica fairly equally. It has characters that are complex, three-dimension, and genuine. There’s no magic, superpowers, or aliens in this story. It focuses on two ordinary people with an unusual problem that brings them together.

This story has something for romance fans to enjoy. This story has something for erotica fans to enjoy. It has moments men will enjoy. It has moments women will enjoy. It’s a story that has something for everyone. That’s why I sincerely hope something comes of this. If “Passion Relapse” is to be my first published piece, then I think it’ll be a great way to introduce my sexy brand to the world.

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