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Why Evil Billionaires And Politicians Will Save The World

The world is fraught with so many problems. There’s climate change, poverty, economic turmoil, disease, and reality TV shows. At times, it seems so overwhelming. Even though I’ve argued the world is getting better by most measures, I don’t deny there are still a lot of problems in the world that need solving.

So who’s going to solve them? Who will save us from all these destructive forces and guide the human race forward? Movies, TV shows, comic books, religion, and Oprah have convinced us that it’s the selfless, loving heroes who live to dry the tears of sick orphans and shit rainbows who will save us. Hell, a part of us needs it to be true.

However, in the same way media that pretends us that sex involves a lot more rose petals and spanking than it really does, reality presents a colder, harsher truth. Like the making of a sausage or the outcome O.J. Simpson trial, the truth tends to shatter your preferred fantasy with a hammer and shotgun.

The hard truth, in this case, is that superheroes, saints, and legendary kings who pull swords out of stones won’t save us. Robert Downy Jr. is not going to put on a giant suit of armor and defeat terrorists. Christian Bale is not going to put on a costume and beat up all the criminals. In reality, it’s the evil billionaires and self-serving politicians that will save the world.

I’ll give everyone a moment for their eye to stop twitching. Take all the time you need. I have a feeling I’m going to get plenty of hate for this post. It wouldn’t be the first time either. I know this is not a popular sentiment, especially from someone who loves comic books and superhero movies as much as I do. It is, however, the cold hard truth.

Before you try to punch me through your computer screen, please hear me out. I’m not bringing this up to upset people. I’m talking about it because sometimes, a dose of harsh truth is necessary. In a world where too many people look for easy solutions to impossible problems, it helps to maintain some level of perspective.

In this case, it’s less about perspective and more about understanding how the world works and how people, in general, govern their affairs. Most people who aren’t billionaires or in high positions of power probably have some vague, albeit cynical understanding of how they operate. Whether you’ve seen every Michael Moore documentary or watched one too many Chuck Norris movies, the vision is similar.

You imagine a dark room in a highly secure, underground bunker. In that bunker, there’s a group of men in fancy suits. Sometimes they’re old white men. Sometimes they’re evil foreign dictators. Sometimes they’re scheming celebrities who fantasize about all the ways they’ll corrupt the world’s youth.

It’s a mental picture that plays out in every James Bond movie and every hippie fever dream. We all think that the politicians and billionaires of the world live only to destroy the environment, spit on poor people, and pleasure themselves while sick children suffer. It’s a simple, understandable sentiment that makes us feel like the underdogs in our own movie.

However, this isn’t a movie, nobody is an underdog, and that mental picture is complete bullshit. The reality is that evil billionaires and corrupt politicians are still human, like you and me. They still want similar things. Sure, they may want crazier things like a pool of orphan tears to swim in every now and then. At the end of the day, though, they still eat, sleep, and get horny like everyone else.

As such, they have a vested interest in making sure the world stays in one piece and people don’t die needlessly. They need a world that’s stable, prosperous, and not full of rotting corpses. They need it because their power, wealth, and everything in between depends on it.

It’s the harshest, but most refreshing truth, in a sense. Since we don’t live in a James Bond movie, the companies, governments, and religious groups have a lot of incentive to keep the world in one piece. Sure, they’ll still take stupid risks that end up causing a lot of destruction, but in the grand scheme of things, they want the world to keep turning. They can’t get money, power, and adherents if it doesn’t.

That’s why all the evil organizations and sinister dictators we see in fiction wouldn’t last a day in the real world. It doesn’t matter if they’re as smart as Lex Luthor or as devious as the Red Skull. If they enter this world, they have to go through Disney lawyers, criminal cartels, entrenched lobbying groups, corrupt bureaucrats, and governments with bloated military budgets. They really don’t stand a chance.

I can sense that some are still skeptical, though. I imagine the left-leaning crowd will scoff at the notion that big corporations will somehow save the planet. The crowd on the far right will scoff even harder at the idea that governments, dictators, and all things un-American will do any good whatsoever.

Well, while you’re scoffing, all those things you don’t think can happen are happening. Countries like China and Saudi Arabia, who have an abysmal human rights record, are investing heavily in green energy, biotechnology, and robotics. They are making a concerted effort to be the greenest, cleanest, most efficient society on the planet.

Now, they’re not doing it out of the goodness of their hearts. Don’t think for a nanosecond they are. Their goals are more pragmatic. They understand that relying on fossil fuels, polluting the air, and trashing the environment is not good for the stability of their country. Even if they’re evil to the core, they like they’re power and they want to hold onto it.

Like the Empire in “Star Wars” or Big Brother in “1984,” the biggest concern of any government, especially the repressive ones, is preserving power. They can’t do that if their society is dirty, inefficient, and disease-ridden. They also can’t do that if their people are sick, weak, or improvised. They need doctors, scientists, lawyers, and henchmen who don’t fall after a single judo chop.

That means these sinister rulers need to create a functioning economy that allows at least some of its citizens to prosper. If they don’t, they risk losing everything. They know as well as any high school history student that the Soviet Union, the Ottoman Empire, and the entire state of Venezuela collapsed for being a bit too evil and corrupt.

The same goes for evil billionaires running businesses that make the Lisa Simpsons of the world cry. Whether they’re cigarette companies, oil companies, or companies that sell lead-laced candy, they need a society that’s peaceful and prosperous. They need people to be alive and healthy enough to actually buy their shit.

That’s why companies that people love to hate will donate billions to charity, invest in new technology, and fund the kinds of social change that combats our tribal urge to slaughter one another for petty reasons. Money may very well be the root of all evil, but it doesn’t discriminate. Money from a minority is as good as money from Bill Gates.

Again, these big companies don’t do what they do out of the goodness of their greedy hearts. They do it to make more money. Sure, big pharmaceutical companies may charge obscene prices for life-saving drugs, but they’ll also work to create new drugs that save even more lives.

On top of that, some evil companies go so far as to compete with one another. If one company does something particularly evil, like make a drug that only treats the symptoms of a disease rather than cure it, another might try to give that company a big middle finger by creating a cure instead. Evil selfish people are petty like that. The fact their actions save millions of lives in the process is just an afterthought.

That’s the greatest irony. In order for all this peace and progress to be made, we need evil billionaires and corrupt governments to embrace some of that evil in order to make the progress we seek. We need them to be selfish, paranoid, and cunning.

That’s why it won’t be some selfless scientist, gentle nun, or peace-loving hippie who will fix the problems of this world. It will be some ruthless company or corrupt government looking to strike it rich, gain power, or selfishly fuel their ego. It’s callous, but the end result still benefits everybody.

For all we know, these devious people just want to do what they do to get laid. If that means running a country that funds education and green energy programs or creating a business that makes billions treating disease, then we should cheer them on. Sure, they’re still not heroes, but they’re going to save our asses and expect us to kiss theirs. If it means a better, safer world, then I’m ready to pucker up.

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Success, How To Get It, And What Nobody Tells You About It

We all want it. We all work our asses off to get it. We all go to great lengths, learning whatever we can and doing whatever we must, to achieve it. For many of us, it’s a lifelong obsession that can be both agonizing and exhilarating.

No, I’m not talking about sex for once. I’m talking about something that is often associated with sex, albeit indirectly. I’m talking about success. It’s a relevant thing to talk about for me. I’ve got my first non-self published book coming out this month and another in the works for next year. Sure, it’s not the kind of success that’ll have me swimming in a pool full of champagne, but it’s a start.

I write erotica/romance novels because I want to make a living doing this. I want this to be my career. Naturally, I want it to be a successful career. I want to be able to pay a mortgage and an electric bill with this career. I’m not there yet, but I’m hoping I’m on the right path. However, in pursuing this career, I’ve realized something about success that often gets overlooked.

Nobody has any goddamn clue how to achieve it.

Sure, there are self-help gurus, scam artists, and Gwyneth Paltrows out there claiming they have some sort of secret. They claim they know how to find success, seize it, and hold onto it. They make it sound so easy. They make it sound like the lottery winners who lose all their money have no excuses.

Well, as much as I despise excuses, there are exceptions when it comes to success. If you’re lucky, you don’t have to learn the hard way. For most people, they don’t even have to learn it. It’s just something you tend to realize through experience, but even when we realize it, we don’t want to put it into to words and for good reason. When you break down the components of success, it’s kind of depressing to say the least.

Now I don’t claim to know squat about success. If I did, I’d be sending signed copies of my novels to Jennifer Lawrence and Natalie Portman on a weekly basis. I only know what everybody knows to some extent, but refuses to acknowledge.

In that knowledge, we understand that success has three vital components.

  1. Having talent, which not everybody has
  2. Being willing to work, which not everybody is
  3. Having a certain amount of luck, which not everybody gets

It’s the giant caveat that grade school teachers and “Back To The Future” left out. We’re all told as kids that we can do anything we set our minds to. Doc Brown gave that advice to Marty McFly on more than one occasion. That works great in the movies. In real life, it has the same effect as rubbing goat piss on your feet.

Maybe it’s because we want to protect our children from the harsh realities of the world and I can understand that to some extent, but that doesn’t make those realities any less harsh. When it comes to success, we’re often at the mercy of forces beyond our control.

I’m not just talking about the luck aspect either. For some people, it doesn’t matter how determined or dedicated you are. You could wake up every morning at 4 a.m. and practice throwing a football until 3 a.m. You’ll still never be as good a quarterback as Tom Brady because he just has a unique talent for it.

The same goes for skills beyond throwing a football. You can be the most charismatic actor or actress in the world. You could have all the talent you need. However, if you don’t have the body of Jennifer Lawrence or the sex appeal of George Clooney, you’re not going to get the same chances. That talent just isn’t enough. It isn’t fair, but the real world has a knack for kicking fairness in the ass on a daily basis.

There are even people who do have immense talent, but they’re just not willing to work at it. We never hear about these people, but we probably know someone in our lives who has uncanny talent in something, but just chooses to do nothing with it. It’s tragic, but it’s another one of those forces that are beyond our control.

Even if we do have the sex appeal of George Clooney, the talent of Tom Brady, and the body of Jennifer Lawrence, there’s still that nasty thing called luck. This is, by far, the most frustrating component of success because it’s “kind of” random to some extent.

I say “kind of” because I’m not talking about the luck that involves lottery tickets, Las Vegas, or the NFL draft. Luck can be guided to some extent, but only to a point. Tom Brady was a 6th round draft pick that nobody thought could play as more than a backup. There were 31 other teams who had a chance to draft him, but didn’t. Instead, he ended up going to New England.

Whether by luck or toil, Brady ended up on a team with a coach and a system that perfectly complemented his talents. Would he have succeeded as much as he did if he went to another team? That’s hard to say, but most can’t see him doing what he did with the Cleveland Browns.

Sometimes we have to put ourselves in a position for luck to find us. Sometimes we have to gamble that the luck will be there if we seek it. It doesn’t always pay off, but again, it’s not like the lottery or Las Vegas.

This is where the advice of someone like Scott Adams, the Dilbert guy, comes into play again. He often says in his books that success likes to hide in the ashes of failure. When you take into account the three ingredients I mentioned earlier, that makes perfect sense.

The thing about the lottery is that you have to pay to play the game. As such, it’s set up so that the odds are so remote that the math is just never on your side. It’s how Las Vegas makes its money and how the lottery is a $70 billion industry. With most other forms of success, there’s no ticket to buy. It’s free to keep playing.

That’s the key to some extent. If something is free to play, then the math is suddenly on your side, no matter how remote the odds are. Play an unlimited amount of times and eventually, the most unlikely outcome will occur. This isn’t always possible for fields like acting, modeling, or basket weaving. However, it does help balance out the depressing outlook.

With publishing, the odds are against me. I don’t deny that. However, it’s another one of those games that’s free to play. Sure, it comes with a lot of rejection, but you can make the law of averages work for you.

Other writers have done just that. The book, Twilight, was rejected by 14 publishers before it got picked up. The hit show “Breaking Bad” was rejected by multiple networks, including HBO and FX, before getting picked up by AMC. Ironically, it seems as though there’s a lot of failure that goes into success.

I didn’t keep track of how many times I got rejected. I’d rather not sift through that many emails. However, I don’t use this as an excuse to get discouraged. I use this as an incentive to get better. That’s something else that teachers and after school specials never taught us as kids. We have to keep improving.

It kind of clashes with the whole message that, “You’re so great, no matter what anyone else says!” The truth is that we are all a work-in-progress. If we don’t keep improving at whatever we do, be it writing erotica/romance or learning to deep-fry a turkey, we’re not going to find success. We’re only going to fall into the same pit as those who think they have a chance at winning the lottery.

For the record, though, I do buy lottery tickets. I don’t buy many. I never spend more than pocket change on them, but again, the odds of playing are better than zero, which are the only odds you get if you don’t play.

Success is an unpredictable force and one that not everybody achieves in life. However, it is possible to put yourself in a position to experience it. It often takes more than your teachers and favorite movie stars ever told you, but it’s something worth pursuing. We only have one life to live, after all. Why not make the most of it?

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