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Growing up, I didn’t care for tea. I didn’t care for coffee, either. As a kid, I honestly didn’t see the appeal of either. Then, I became an adult and learned very quickly that the benefits of these drinks beat the hell out of soda and fruit juice.

I grew to love coffee first, but that was mostly out of necessity. I needed something to keep me going so I could write sexy stories. Shortly after that, though, I developed a taste for tea. However, instead of keeping me going, tea helped slow things down. It helped me relax and decompress after a long day. It also had some sexy undertones.

For that, I credit my ex-girlfriend. I’ve talked about her before, but she was the first to show me the benefits of tea. In college, that’s how she would relax and when she got relaxed, she got more affectionate. Naturally, I tried it too and it had the same effect. Since then, tea has had a special place in my stomach and my heart.

Even after me and my girlfriend broke up, I came to enjoy a hot cup of tea at the end of the day. It helps my body and my mind relax, which has helped me craft more sexy short stories, including one inspired by tea. As such, this edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is dedicated to the relaxing benefits of tea and all those who appreciate it. Enjoy!

“If making love is like a touchdown, then afterglow is successful two-point conversion.”

“Good foreplay takes talent, but true mastery comes with practice.”

“Successful flirting is not that different from a successful job interview.”

“Pity sex is like cold pizza in that it’s not ideal, but still gets the job done.”

“A lover who still talks dirty is like a healthy chocolate bar that still tastes good.”

“Every kinky sex act has a basis in horniness, boredom, and alcohol.”

“Make-up sex is the romantic equivalent of duct tape.”

I hope that both relaxed and/or excited you. I know tea isn’t considered a very sexy drink, but I can attest that it has some very sexy effects in the right situation. As the weather gets colder and we have more reasons to cuddle, I strongly recommend that everyone take some time to enjoy it. After all, it’s much easier to be sexy when you’re nice and relaxed.

Growing up, I didn’t like tight-fitting clothes. In fact, I would get annoyed if I had to wear something that anything looser than cargo shorts and an oversized T-shirt. I won’t say it was a quirk as much as it was a preference. If I ever had the choice to dress myself, I would almost always favor loose-fitting clothes.

That did change as I got older, though. It took a while, but I noticed that after I got in shape, I came to appreciate tighter-fitting clothes. From shirts to jeans to underwear, I felt as though tighter clothes helped show how much I’ve grown and how much work I’ve put into my body. I can safely say that I feel more attractive in tighter clothes.

I know I’m not alone. Look at any popular fashion magazine or attractive model and chances are they’ll use tight clothes to show off their beauty. It’s not so much a result of enjoying the feeling of certain fabrics on your skin as it is a statement that you’re fit enough to wear these kinds of clothes in the first place.

Is it somewhat egotistical? Yes, it certainly is. Then again, if you have the chance to show off how good you look, why waste it? Some extra tight clothes can help you achieve just that. This week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is a dedication to those tight-fitting clothes and all the sexiness they show off.

“It’s somewhat ironic that we judge sexy lingerie by how much it makes others want to rip it off.”

“A cheap dildo is a worthy investment to those who’ve been on one too many cheap dates.”

“Whoever invented popsicles had to have known how much impact they would have on attitudes about oral sex.”

“Doing chores for your lover is exhausting, but doing chores with your lover can be a form a foreplay.”

“A firm handshake among men can imply a lot about where that hand and those fingers have been.”

“When you think about it, feeling emotional and feeling horny is just a matter of which body part gets the most blood.”

“The only way people will stop doing illicit drugs is if they stop making it so much easier to get laid.”

I hope that made everyone’s clothes feel a little tighter for all the right reasons. I still wear a lot of loose-fitting clothes on a casual basis. However, when I get a chance to show off how good I look, I gladly opt for something tighter. I encourage everyone to do the same. We all have a certain amount of sex appeal. Don’t let your clothes completely hide it.

Have you ever had one of those long, hard weeks that just won’t end? Actually, let me rephrase that. Exactly how many of those long, hard weeks have you had in the past year alone? Unless you’re rich, retired, or have an army of servants, you’ve probably had more than a few. I know I have. Most of them were in high school, but every now and then, I have one of those weeks that just can’t end fast enough.

Sometimes, it’s because of family drama. Sometimes, it’s because of personal issues. Most of the time, though, it’s a combination of many things that just hit you all at once. It’s frustrating, stressful, and downright overwhelming. It’s for that very reason, though, that the end of those weeks are so cathartic.

It’s also for that reason that any love you can make, either with yourself or a partner, is that much more satisfying. Even if you feel like you don’t have the energy, I still recommend you make the effort. You may think that sleeping in on a Sunday is the best way to recover. I respectfully disagree. After one of those long, hard weeks, making love is the best possible medicine.

If you don’t believe me, I just ask that you try it. We’re all going to have a rough week every week at some point. Make an effort to cap those weeks off with a little sexy fun. You’ll find that no matter how bad a week is, some concerted lovemaking goes a long way. I hope this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts give others the necessary encouragement.

“Some remember the sweetest virgins, but everyone remembers the kinkiest sluts.”

“The fact that dirty sex and good sex often go hand-in-hand sends mixed messages about hygiene.”

“A man’s sexual history is never as disturbing as his browser history.”

“When you think about it, phone sex is the adult version of a bed time story.”

“Pimps and used car salesmen operate in distressingly similar ways.”

“A good orgasm is like a home run, but multiple orgasms are like a grand slam.”

“Love creates many possibilities, but abundant lube makes them easier to realize.”

In a perfect world, nobody has a bad week and nobody needs some extra sexy loving to recover. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. We have to make do with the good times and bad. We can’t always control how badly our week will get. We can control how we deal with it, though. I’m not saying some sexy time is the best way to manage it, but I’m willing to bet it’s more effective than a back rub.

I consider myself a fairly passionate person, by nature. A big part of what we do and why we do it is driven by passion. I just consider the passion that fuels me to be extra potent. It shows in the way I talk about comic books, gender politics, and beautiful women in bikinis.

I’ve shared many of my passions on this website, but there’s on in particular I don’t think I’ve emphasized enough. That’s my passion for all things flavored with buffalo wing sauce. I get it. That sounds like an odd thing for anyone who lives outside of Buffalo to be passionate about, but it’s no joke to me.

I truly love all things flavored with buffalo wing sauce and I’m not just referring to chicken wings. I put it on my pizza, my eggs, my vegetables, my burgers, my steaks, and pretty much anything else I can put sauce on. If I found a woman who enjoyed having buffalo wing sauce licked off her boobs, I would probably fall in love with her on the spot.

This being football season, which is associated with a sizable increase in consumption of all things buffalo flavored, my passion for this wondrous condiment has never been greater. That’s why I proudly dedicate this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to buffalo wing sauce. If it makes you both horny and hungry, I’ll have done my job.

“It’s only when you appreciate how closely smell is linked to memory that you understand why some men love sniffing women’s panties.”

“When you think about it, the line between foreplay and tickling has to be blurred for either to work.”

“Morning sex will either make you tired or wake you up, which makes it inherently more useful than coffee.”

“Wanting a lover who can be everything to you is like wanting everything they do to give you an orgasm.”

“The fact that making love makes both happiness and life means its the most basic form of multi-tasking.”

“The power of love can only ever be a mitigating factor when negotiating the prospects of anal sex.”

“Given the similar consistency between mayonnaise and semen, you can’t help but wonder if the person who created it had some weird kinks.”

I hope that helped everybody work up an appetite, among other things. Between the weather getting colder and the start of football season, my stomach is ready and eager to ingest all things coated in buffalo wing sauce. If my genitals wish to join the party, then that’s just a nice bonus.

I’m not a dancer. Anyone who has ever seen me at a wedding or a night club knows that. It’s not that I have anything against it. It’s just not something I care to do, mostly because I end up making a fool of myself and not in a cute way.

Don’t get me wrong. I can kind of dance. I say kind of because doing so usually requires a few beers and a shot of whiskey. Even with the aid of alcohol, though, I’m not one for technique or style. I just move in whatever way doesn’t look too ridiculous. As long as nobody thinks I’m having a seizure, I feel like I’ve done my part.

While I may be terrible at dancing, I still have a strong appreciation for those with genuine skill and passion. I especially appreciate those who put a little sex appeal into their dancing. I’m not just referring to strippers, either. Some people treat dancing like foreplay. It’s intimate, sensual, and provocative. For romance-lover like me, I can’t help but appreciate that.

I’ve seen men and women pull it off in ways I never could. I may never have that kind of skill, but those who do make the world an inherently sexier place. As such, I’m dedicating this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to those people. If you’re one of them, I sincerely thank you.

“With enough imagination, bravery, and pain tolerance, anything can be a sex toy.”

“Boredom is the primary catalyst for 95 percent of all newly-discovered kinks.”

“The fact that it takes genuine effort to make a back massage non-sexual shows how horny we are.”

“A quickie is like a shot of tequila, but a night of passionate lovemaking is like an open bar in Las Vegas.”

“The idea that sharing is caring feels like a metaphor for how men use their boners.”

“In the spirit of political correctness, every sex club should be classified as orgasm enthusiast gatherings.”

“It says a lot that anything we describe as orgasmic is usually messy to some extent.”

I hope this gives all those sexy dancers out there a little extra inspiration the next time their favorite song starts playing. Whether it’s at a club or in a bedroom, don’t be afraid to flaunt those sexy dancing skills. The world needs a little sexiness these days. Not everyone is good at it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate it.

It’s Labor Day weekend and once again, we all find ourselves asking the same question. What the hell is Labor Day and why the hell is it a holiday? There’s probably a legitimate story behind it, but I doubt most people will care because it means a day off work and a chance to sleep in on a Monday.

I’m somewhat lucky, I guess. When I was growing up, my family made it a point to have a big Labor Day cookout to cap off the summer. My family never passed up a chance to throw a party and have a get-together. Sometimes, the 4th of July just wasn’t enough. I remember those cookouts fondly, but they were somewhat tainted by the fact that I had to go to school the next day.

As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve come to appreciate Labor Day for what it is. We all work so hard just to survive in this crazy world. We all need to take a step back and relax every once in a while. Work is all well and good, but we need balance. I often feel as though Americans are way behind in that respect, compared to those in Europe.

That being said, I urge everyone to make the most of this day. Holiday or not, it’s a day to enjoy the last bit of summer before cold weather sweeps in and Christmas lights go up. That’s why I dedicate this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts to Labor Day and sleeping in on a Monday. Enjoy!

“When you think about it, foreplay and negotiating aren’t really THAT different in terms of navigating sex.”

“The difference between having an eccentric quirk and a sexy kink is the amount of lube required.”

“Enjoying cream in your coffee is like enjoying extra tongue with oral sex.”

“An orgy is basically the Netflix of sex.”

“Bad sex can taint love, but good love can repair bad sex.”

“Nipples are nature’s way of keeping some sensitive parts of the body above the waist.”

“The first three-way was contemplated by a either a really horny man or a very tired woman.”

I hope that helps make everyone’s long weekend feel that much more complete. Whether you intend to have a cookout, like my parents, or just not get out of your underwear all day, I hope you find a way to enjoy Labor Day. For some of us, though, the work never ends and that’s especially true of telling sexy stories and sharing sexy thoughts.

When I was a kid, I didn’t care for weddings. To me, they were just large family gatherings with strange food, itchy clothes, and no playground. While I appreciated big parties and celebrating love, I just didn’t enjoy them for what they were. As I got older, though, my attitude changed.

As I write this, I am still bathing in the afterglow of the first beach wedding I ever attended. A very old friend of mine who has known me since I was three-years-old got married in a beautiful ceremony that left few dry eyes and not just because of the ocean air. It was definitely more memorable than any of the weddings I attended as a kid.

Out of respect for my friend’s privacy, I won’t go into too many details. I’ll just say that when it comes to forging a joyous occasion on the beach in the middle of summer, my family really goes all out. It was so much fun on top of being sweet, sincere, and memorable. It’s the kind of wedding that would make even the most hardened of souls feel the power of love.

Rather than randomly quote songs by Huey Lewis and the News, I’m just going to dedicate this week’s edition of Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts to weddings and those lucky enough to celebrate them on the beach. If you love weddings and you love the beach, I can safely say that it’s a potent and underrated combination.

“You don’t need motivation to want sex, but you do need effort to make love.”

“A lousy blowjob is always better than an awkward kiss.”

“Being attracted to someone will always have a basis in wanting to see them naked.”

“Is treating women like sex objects really worse than treating men like bank accounts?”

“Romance requires finance, but the market for passion is always volatile.”

“Gamers would be the ultimate studs if women had cheat codes.”

“The first fake orgasm likely inspired the first professional actress.”

To my friends, family, and everyone who shared in the momentous beach-front ceremony, I sincerely thank you for making the event so memorable. To my friend and their lucky new spouse, I wish you nothing but happiness, love, sexiness, and everything in between.

This is the time of year where most people either take their vacation or envy those who are able to take vacations in the first place. I’ve been on both ends before. After I got out of college, I had about as much vacation time as I did gold-encrusted toilet seats. I truly envied those who talked glowingly about the places they went.

That’s typical for a lot of young people. You get out of college, you start working, and you’ve got precious little time to take off. Add paying off student loan debt to the mix and vacations are a low priority, to say the least. Sure, you’ll still get a day off here and there, but you won’t have the money or the means to go anywhere exotic, expensive, or clothing optional.

For the first two years after college, I didn’t go anywhere special when I got time off. Instead, I became the master of the staycation. I even came to embrace it. I found that I could still feel plenty refreshed by just hanging out at home, sleeping in, and lounging around with no lengthy to-do list. While I still prefer a trip to the beach or a few nights in Las Vegas, I can still make the most of a standard staycation.

It’s becoming more common and necessary among young people, resorting to staycations rather than going exotic places with what little time and money they have. It can be limiting, but still plenty rewarding. I know plenty of people who are basically stuck taking staycations this summer. This edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is for those people and everyone who appreciates their place in our lives.

“Logistically speaking, a skilled porn star and a devout spouse require many similar abilities.”

“Drunk driving can accidentally take a life, but drunk sex can accidentally make one.”

“For someone with a food fetish, a late-night snack counts as foreplay.”

“Good sex can make up for a bad date, but it rarely works in reverse.”

“Some women want a handsome prince, but too many men just want a sexy maid.”

“An attentive lover puts as much care into personal hygiene as they do their oral sex abilities.”

“Pregnancy tests inspire more prayers than any holy site ever will.”

Whether you’re enjoying an extended staycation or lounging by a beach in Cancun, I hope everybody reading this finds some time to get away from it all. We all need a chance to step back, relax, and unwind. You don’t have to travel to the French Riviera. You can just travel to your couch and still end up just as refreshed. A sexy vacation to a beach full of supermodels is nice. A few days on the couch can be nice as well.