Tag Archives: sleeping naked

Sir Reddit: Stories Of When Sleeping Naked Backfires

As someone who has been sleeping naked since college, I am a strong advocate for the practice. If you haven’t tried it yet, even in the middle of winter, I highly recommend it. You may be surprised by how great it feels.

That said, there are some potential drawbacks and I’m not talking about general health. Sometimes, the simple act of sleeping in the buff goes wrong. It’s usually situational and it’s usually due to forces beyond anyone’s control. When it happens, it’s still mortifying at best.

I’ve been lucky enough to have not experienced that situation yet, but not everyone has been that lucky. Below is a video inspired by a Reddit post of people sharing their stories about when sleeping naked backfired, courtesy of the SirReddit YouTube Channel.

I wanted to share it, just to help balance out my vocal advocacy of sleeping naked. I still recommend it, but these are just some of the situations that can result from doing so. Enjoy!

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Filed under health, sex in society, sexuality, YouTube

Improving Your Love Life And Your Sex Life (With Sleep)

sleeping-positions

Maintaining a healthy romance is a lot like pursuing good sex. There’s no one right way to do it that works for everyone, but there are any number of wrong ways that can fail spectacularly. I’ve shared a few personal stories about my love life and even offered some insights on how to improve romance in the world of fiction. When it comes to real world advice, though, I try to be careful.

I’m not a relationship expert or a licensed therapist. I’m an aspiring erotica/romance writer who shares weekly sexy thoughts and bemoans how love is portrayed in popular media. Sure, I’ll occasionally give my opinion on serious issues involving gender politics and trends in popular culture, but I try to avoid giving the impression that I’m qualified to give advice.

However, there are a number of things we can all do for our love lives, a sex lives, and everything in between that makes it better. There are personal experiences that demonstrate it and even scientific research that supports it. Some are just common sense, but anyone who is familiar with the Darwin Awards knows that’s not always sufficient.

With that in mind, I’d like to offer the wonderful readers of this site the simplest and easiest advice they’ll ever get. It’ll improve your relationship. It’ll enhance your sex life. It’ll make you feel better, overall. What is the magical method that does so much to help so many aspects of your personal life? It’s simple.

Get better sleep.

That’s it. That is a real, effective method for improving your relationships, be it with a long-time lover or a one-night stand in Las Vegas. There’s no need for expensive therapy. You don’t have to pay a guru or a life coach. For once, it really is that simple. Get better sleep and your love life will improve.

Now, in the interest of not sounding too obvious, there are some details here that are worth highlighting. In recent years, the importance of getting a good night’s sleep has been become more critical. A great deal of research has shown a long list of benefits that come with good sleep and an equally lengthy list of detriments for those who don’t get enough.

Good sleep helps you lose weight, alleviate illness, and recover from serious injuries. None of that is news to anyone, but I get the sense that people don’t appreciate the role sleep plays in a healthy romance and a good sex life. That role goes beyond work and afterglow, as well.

According to research published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine, poor sleep can disrupt your emotions and not just in terms of being groggy in the morning. Managing and regulating emotions is core component of any functional relationship. Even those who don’t mind melodrama are going to get burned out from someone who can’t figure out whether they’re stressed, miserable, or pissed off.

It even goes beyond messy emotional exchanges. That same study also showed a link between poor sleep and depression. Considering how depression tends to dull passion of any kind, romantic or otherwise, it’s understandable how it can undermine a relationship.

It’s even more understandable in terms of how it hurts your sex life. In addition to depression limiting your capacity to get in the mood, it also creates situations where people use sex as a band aid instead of a basic emotional expression. I’ve seen this happen before with friends and relatives. They try to use sex as an anti-depressant. It can offer temporary reprieve, but it does little to resolve any actual issues.

Then, there’s the simple logistics that a lack of sleep will create. If your lover is on a different sleep schedule than you, then that makes spending time together a chore because one of you is going to be groggy. Whether it’s due to work schedules or one person being a night owl, love can only do so much when a couple is rarely rested at the same time.

This goes beyond just being restless and buying overpriced lattes. A lack of sleep can actually cause damage to the brain. Sleep is supposed to be the time when your brain heals and refreshes itself after a long, arduous day. If it never gets a chance to heal, then that could impact everything from your memories to your emotions to your genitals.

Yes, a lack of sleep does have sexual side-effects. For men, it lowers testosterone, the magically masculine hormone that drives a significant part of the male libido. It effects men whether they’re gay, straight, bisexual, or trans. When your hormones are off, your sex life will suffer. It can even lead to erectile dysfunction, which is sure to compound that nasty mood I mentioned earlier.

Women experience a similar effect as well. On top of research showing that well-rested women tend to have more sex, a lack of sleep can make it significantly more difficult to achieve orgasm. At a time when women are already already dealing with an orgasm gap, this certainly doesn’t help. Even with adequate sleep, a lack of orgasms can hurt any relationship.

Again, a lot of this is common sense, but for those looking to improve or maintain their love lives, it may seem too common. It goes against the standard romantic narrative that two people in love always have to be doing something. They always have to be off going on adventures, working hard every hour of every day to stay in love, have great sex, and grow together.

While there’s certainly a place for that kind of effort in a relationship, it doesn’t have to come at the cost of a good night’s sleep. If anything, a couple sharing a restful night in bed together should count as an act of genuine romance. It doesn’t even have to come after sex or even involve nudity, although couples who sleep naked do enjoy added benefits.

Ideally, good sleep shouldn’t just be a byproduct of a quality romance. It should be part of the process. It could be as easy as communicating with your lover how much sleep you need, when to do it, and what helps you feel most rested. It may sound mundane, but these are little things that real loving couples often overlook.

One of my old college roommates actually got sleep down to a science. He and his girlfriend made a genuine effort to line up their sleep cycles so perfectly that I could pretty much set my watch to when they would turn in. It wasn’t always romantic, but I can’t argue with the results. They were together that entire semester and I rarely saw them in a bad mood.

Most people, whether they’re in a relationship or not, are willing to put in the work to make romance work. They’re just as willing to listen to gurus, pop pills, and read sexy stories to improve their sex lives as well. While I try to do my part with the sexy stories I tell, I think it’s ironic that just getting better sleep rarely comes to mind.

Even if it makes too much sense, it’s probably the easiest way for anyone to improve their relationship. We already know how to sleep. Most of us relish the opportunity to get more. If more sleep means better sex and quality romance, then it more than warrants a higher priority in our intimate efforts.

After all, a good lover is a well-rested lover.

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Filed under gender issues, human nature, Marriage and Relationships, psychology, romance, sex in society, sexuality

A Drug That Eliminates The Need For Sleep (Is Almost Here)

Whenever I talk about the possibilities of human enhancement, sexy and otherwise, I do so with the hope that the benefits outweigh the costs. I understand that all progress comes at a cost. I also understand that it’s impossible to know the full extent of those costs until the genie is out of the bottle and the bottle is destroyed.

Never-the-less, I still think the risks we take with future technology are worth taking. In fact, I would argue we have to take them because our caveman tendencies towards tribalism and our inherent vulnerability to bullshit is a clear indication that our current situation is not working well enough. We, as a species, need to improve if we’re going to function on this confined planet.

Certain enhancements will do a lot more than others. I’ve mentioned emerging tools like smart blood, brain implants, and CRISPR. It’s impossible to overstate the kind of impact those advances will have on the human condition. They will be akin to giving a light sabre to a chimp.

Other enhancements, however, will have a more subtle effect. They’re also likely to happen sooner, despite Elon Musk’s best efforts. That brings me back to sleep and the annoying need to spend a third of our lives doing it. I’ve already asked people to consider how their life would change if they didn’t have to sleep as much. Well, I have a confession to make. That was kind of a loaded question.

That’s because that, as we speak, there are efforts underway to reduce or eliminate our need to sleep. This is not some far-off fantasy out of a “Star Trek” re-run. This is actually happening, courtesy of DARPA, also known as the Defense Department’s officially-sanctioned mad science division.

However, there’s nothing mad about their motivations. DARPA is in the business of developing obscenely-advanced technology to ensure that the United States Military remains the most technologically advanced military on the planet by an obscene margin. Part of that effort involves developing technology that creates soldiers that don’t have to sleep.

In the grand scheme of things, that’s one of the least weird projects they’ve pursued. This is a department that is researching flying submarines for crying out loud. As awesome/crazy as those concepts are, this potential breakthrough in sleep technology could have implications that go far beyond having soldiers that don’t require a nap.

According to Wired, DARPA’s years of mad science has culminated in the development of a spray that users would apply, just like ordinary nasal spray. The spray contains a naturally-occurring brain hormone called Orexin A, which helps keep the brain in a state of alertness without the aid of heavy stimulates or copious amounts of coffee.

It’s somewhat crude in that it’s basically dumping chemicals into the brain and hoping for the best. That approach is not that different from those of other psychoactive drugs, which are fraught with all kinds of danger. Unlike other emerging technologies, though, this one is already happening. From here, it’s just a matter of refinement.

At the moment, the technology is basic and unrefined, but that’s how all technology starts. Just look at the models of old cell phones. That refinement will occur, though. There’s too much potential profit in it. Between truckers, grade-grubbing college students, and marathon gaming, there are a lot of people out there who would gladly pay to not have to sleep.

Depending on how much it costs, I would certainly jump at the chance to not feel so damn tired on a Monday morning. It would also give me more time and energy to write more sexy novels or explore more sexy issues on this blog. When sleep becomes optional and you have a lot of stuff you want to do, this sort of technology suddenly becomes invaluable.

I doubt I’m the only one whose life would invariably change, due to this technology, and I’m not just talking about hardcore night owls. Think about all the people who work demanding, energy-sapping jobs. These jobs don’t just put a huge premium on sleep. They can be downright damaging. Take away the need to sleep and suddenly, these people can have a life again.

That, in many ways, is the biggest implication of this technology. Suddenly, that third of our lives that we spend sleeping suddenly becomes open to us. Human society may vary wildly across time, space, and sexual practices, but they’re all bound by the same limits. People still need to sleep and rest. What happens to those societies when that changes?

It’s impossible to know, but we may find out soon enough. As we’ve seen before with other popular drugs, once a market is established, people build entirely new lifestyles around it. We saw it already with boner pills. This one may end up being even more groundbreaking and it doesn’t require an awkward conversation with your doctor.

While this is sure to enrich drug companies to no end, it’s also the first step in a much larger process of removing the burden of sleep. Other emerging technologies that I’ve mentioned, such as smart blood and brain implants, will take it a step further.

Theoretically, they could both rewire or augment our biology so that we never need sleep in the first place. There would be no need to take a drug. There would be no need to worry about ever being tired. It may even make it so that other people who have to sleep are pitied the same way we pity those who don’t have high-speed internet.

These kinds of advancements will already enhance so much of the human condition, from cognitive function to mental acuity to sexual prowess. Removing sleep from that equation gives those same enhanced humans even more time to flex their enhancements. It’s hard to know what people will do with that kind of time on their hands, but I imagine some of it will inspire a few sexy novels.

A society full of people who never need to sleep is completely unprecedented. Hell, a society where sleep is entirely optional is unprecedented as well. It wasn’t that long ago that society was at the mercy of the night. Even if you weren’t tired back then, you couldn’t do much when it was pitch black outside. Then, electric lighting came along and freed people to do more with their time.

When technology gives people an opportunity to work around the limits of nature, they generally take it. The consequences or implications are rarely clear, but given how little we think things through, I can’t imagine we’ll hesitate to make this technology part of our culture.

Time will tell. Money will be made. Entirely new lifestyles will emerge. It’s amazing to imagine what we’ll do with ourselves when sleep is no longer an issue. I hope it helps me write more sexy novels. I also hope it helps others live a richer life. Whenever it happens, I look forward to the day when beds are just used for sex and showing off fancy linens.

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What If We Didn’t Have To Sleep?

Last week, I went to bed early in hopes of getting some extra sleep. The next couple of days were going to be long and busy. I wanted to be as rested as possible in anticipation. Any over-worked college student who ever tried to do this in anticipation of an exam probably knows where I’m going with this.

My hopes were quickly dashed because I ended up lying in bed for several hours, tossing and turning, trying to will myself to sleep. I was tired and usually I’m pretty good at falling asleep when I need to, but not on this night. For whatever reason, I just couldn’t get the rest I wanted.

It was frustrating, but easily resolved the next day with more coffee. However, in recalling that frustration, I found myself thinking back to all the other nights where I just lay there in bed, trying to sleep and failing miserably. It led me to one inescapable conclusion. That’s a lot of wasted time that I could’ve used to do something else.

With that time, I could’ve written dozens of more sexy novels. For all I know, one of them might have been a masterpiece and a best seller. Sure, it’s more likely that most of them would either be average or crap, but the fact is I still would’ve written them.

With that time, I also could’ve read more books written more content for this blog, or worked out more. How much healthier or more well-read would I be? Sure, a lot of those books might have been comics, but I’ve shown before that comics can provide some pretty uncanny insights.

With that time, I could’ve just done more of the mundane stuff that gives me joy. I could’ve played more video games, danced to terrible pop music, or binged-watched more of the shows that my friends and family keep recommending.

My point is that I’ve wasted a lot of time in bed, failing to fall asleep. I doubt I’m alone either. How many others out there struggle to fall asleep at night? Seeing as how the market for sleeping pills is around $58 billion, I imagine it’s more than a few.

I’m not saying sleep is a waste of time. There’s a biological need associated with sleep. Like food, not getting enough of it will actually kill you in the long run. That puts sleep just above sex in terms of the needs hierarchy, albeit not by much. While the need for sleep is somewhat of a mystery, we know we have to do it. We just don’t realize how much of it consumes our lives.

As it stands, we spend about a third of our lives sleeping. That means every day we’re alive, we’re stuck only living part of it. That’s a lot of time that we end up losing. That leads me to a simple, but colorful thought experiment. What if we could get that time back? What if we, as a whole, didn’t have to sleep or only needed a little to be refreshed?

This isn’t one of my overly sexy or overly disturbing thought experiments. This is basically akin to wondering what it would be like to have superpowers, something most people do on a daily basis when they’re stuck in traffic. Not sleeping may not be as impressive as flying like Superman, but it would incur an undeniable impact on our lives and our society.

Some of it might be good. Some of it might be bad. Some of it might be downright mundane. For certain people, not sleeping just means more time sitting on the couch watching “Star Trek” re-runs. Whatever the case, it has many possibilities for better, for worse, and everything in between.

As much as I enjoy sleeping naked, I would prefer to have more time and energy to do more things. I might even end up doing those things naked anyways so it wouldn’t be too much of a loss. Sure, that might cause some legal issues, but I’m willing to make that trade-off.

There are a lot of things I’d like to do, try, or explore. The problem is often a confluence of time, energy, and focus. I don’t always have enough of all three and sometimes one overcompensates for the other. The need to sleep is the only factor that ties into all them.

I get that there are some who genuinely enjoy sleep. I admit it’s a great feeling, waking up on a Saturday morning, feeling rested and refreshed. However, is it really worth all that time we miss? Who’s to say that what we do with that extra time won’t be just as rewarding? Like I said, there are trade-offs.

I’m not sure what I would do if I didn’t have to sleep so much, but I like to think I’d be able to do more and be better. What about you, the wonderful readers of this humble, yet sexy website? What would you do if you had an extra eight hours of life every day? Would you be more productive? Would you be happier? Would you succumb faster to the looming plague of boredom?

It’s a non-disturbing, non-sexual thought experiment that I encourage everyone to try it and share your thoughts in the comments. We’re all the mercy of our need to sleep to some extent. It’s interesting to imagine what our lives would be like or what kind of person we’d become if we had more time to work with.

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Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, Thought Experiment

One More Thought on Nudity

I know I’ve spent the past few days focusing a lot on nudity in my post. In my defense, it’s the middle of August and it’s very hot. Being naked is more pragmatic than usual in these conditions. However, I’ve gotten such a positive response from my discussions on nudity that I feel I need to add one more tidbit before I switch to another topic.

I’ve discussed how I, a humble erotica writer, enjoy sleeping in the buff. I’ve also touched on the health benefits of being naked. I’ve even encouraged others to ditch the clothes and enjoy the warm summer air on their skin. Then, I remembered that we live in a society that’s still frustratingly erratic when it comes to our views of nudity. All it takes is one person offending some other person with a good lawyer to cause problems. So for legal reasons, I’d like this post to act as a disclaimer of sorts.

It’s true. Not every society views nudity the same way. As I recently pointed out from my own vacation, New York City’s laws on public nudity are somewhat lax. It’s legal to be topless in New York and the cops generally don’t care if you wear crazy sexy shit in public, so long as you’re not actively humping someone in broad daylight. A quick search of the database at HG.org, a comprehensive legal database for anyone in need of a lawyer, shows that every state has different laws regarding nudity. In some cases, it’s a misdemeanor on part with a parking ticket. In others, it’s a full-blown felony.

Now it’s worth noting that some of these laws aren’t strictly enforced. They’re more like stop signs in that people generally follow them, but others flat out ignore them and don’t really get penalized unless they do it in front of a cop. If you’re not hurting anyone or trying to actively harass someone, you’re probably not going to get into too much trouble. I should point out that probably is not the same as definitely.

It’s also worth noting that there are parts of the country that are exceedingly prudish when it comes to nudity laws. I won’t name names, but some of these areas still have anti-fornication laws on the books that they refuse to remove. That should give you some idea of the kind of culture we’re dealing with here. Those areas are the way they are for a reason and it’s best not to belabor it. Eventually, prudishness has a way of fading once younger people get too tired and/or too horny to embrace it.

So where can you go in order to safely enjoy being naked? There are a few places where nudity isn’t just permitted. It’s part of the culture there. It’s embraced and celebrated. If I ever become a successful erotica writer, I’d like to visit some of these places and partake in the festivities. Until then, here’s a video from The Richest that should act as a nudist travel guide.

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The Joys of Sleeping Naked

After a week of vacation and rejection emails, I’m ready to start talking about more entertaining topics again. I don’t want this blog to just be about me and my failed efforts at becoming a published author. I want this blog to have some entertainment value, preferably the sexy kind. I’m still committed to delivering that and today is no exception.

For this topic, I’d like to get a little personal. I don’t normally do this, but I think this is due. I’m going to confess something that most people don’t confess outside of private conversations or absent significant alcohol intact. I, Jack Fisher, sleep naked.

Yes, it’s true. The same guy who tries to make a living writing sexy love stories sleeps in the buff. It doesn’t matter if it’s the dead of winter. It doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of summer. I sleep naked and I love it. I also highly recommend that others do it. It doesn’t matter if your a man, woman, trans, gay, or straight. Sleeping naked is one of life’s most underrated pleasures.

Now I didn’t always sleep naked, but that’s mostly due to logistical issues. I grew up in a fairly large household where walking around naked tends to cause problems. I also lived with roommates for a good chunk of my early adult life and too much nudity causes entirely different problems in that situation. Even after I moved into a more comfortable living situation on my own, I still wore underwear to bed. Then, one day I just stopped.

I don’t remember exactly when I decided to start sleeping naked. I don’t know what was going through my mind or why the idea came to me. I just know that after the first night, I could never go back. There’s just something inherently liberating about sleeping naked. I’ve found that it improves the quality of my sleep. It reduces stress. It even settles my mind, which is important for any aspiring writer trying to flesh out new ideas. Other than my manly parts flopping around under the sheets, I can think of no real drawbacks.

I know these benefits are just anecdotal. There can’t be any scientific reasons why sleeping naked is awesome, can there? Well, it turns out science has a dirty mind because they actually did study this and wouldn’t you know it? There are actual documented benefits. Elite Daily listed 7 scientific reasons why you should sleep naked, but I believe there are far more than that.

I believe this because of a little something I like to call caveman logic. This logic simply acknowledges that our bodies, as magnificent as they are, evolved from hunter/gatherer societies in the African savanna 100,000 years ago. Since evolution is slow and our bodies, save for one organ, are pretty dumb on a fundamental level, our biology still functions under the same evolutionary guidelines that emerged all those years ago.

That means sleeping with silk clothes and bleached cotton doesn’t necessarily complement that biology. Remember, our species evolved in a tropical and semi-tropical climate. So sleeping naked was kind of the only option and naturally, our bodies adapted and evolved.

The problem is that 100,000 years of cultural, societal, and religious development tends to create a lot of mixed messages about our bodies and how we see them. That’s why nudity is still so taboo in some areas. However, I don’t think there should be any taboo about sleeping naked.

Whether your alone or with a lover, there are just too many benefits. Human beings, following caveman logic, evolved to be social, emotional creatures. The simple act of being naked with someone creates all these pleasant, intimate feelings that make us happy and content. It’s almost as though nature wants us to be naked, intimate, and content with one another instead of isolated, hostile, and ashamed. Strange, isn’t it?

I’m not a doctor and I don’t pretend to be one. I’m an aspiring writer who has yet to taste real success. I’m not exactly an authority on sexual health or physical health in general. However, I do feel confident in recommending to others that they give sleeping naked a try. If you need even more proof, check out this video from DNews. If that still doesn’t convince you, then that’s your call.

Now if you’ll excuse me, these pants are getting mighty uncomfortable.

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