Tag Archives: Jack Fisher

December 31, 2016 · 7:52 am

New Years Eve Reflections (And 2017 Aspirations)

Well, we made it. We made it through 2016. Sure, we lost way too many beloved celebrities along the way and there may have been some massive political upheaval in the western world from which we may not recover, but we still made it through. That counts for something, right?

I tend to be an optimist at heart. Granted, I wasn’t always that way. As a teenager, I would’ve run for school president on a pro-apocalypse, anti-homework candidate. I would’ve lost and probably been suspended, but that shows just how crappy my teen years were. As an adult, I’ve learned to keep looking forward and striving to make the next year better than the last.

So with 2016 drawing to a close, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on what I’ve done, what I hope to do, and what I’d like to accomplish moving forward. I won’t say I’ve had the best year. I won’t even say I’ve made a lot of progress, but I do feel like I’ve made some. In the long run, a little progress adds up. Like extended foreplay, it makes the final climax that much more satisfying. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

I’ll try to hold off on the dirty subtext for now, but I won’t make any promises. One of the biggest developments of 2016, by far, was the news I got on my book, “Passion Relapse.” The fact a publisher of any size took a chance on me, an aspiring erotica/romance writer who has received a steady stream of rejection letters for years now, is a pretty big accomplishment.

Now I’m not so delusional to think that this deal will make me the next J. K. Rowling. I’m not expecting to strike it rich or field calls from HBO anytime soon. However, I do hope that this is a stepping stone of sorts, one on which I can create a foundation for a successful future in publishing. I really do want to make a living telling these sexy, romantic stories. This is what I’m passionate about. This is what I want to do.

If 2016 is the first step in a long, arduous process. I’m happy to make it and I hope there’s more to make in 2017. I don’t know what the next step entails, but I will keep working for it. I will keep improving and refining my craft.

The same goes for this blog. I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do with this blog for a while. When I first launched “Skin Deep,” I basically abandoned it for a while and by a while, I mean years. I revisited, revamped, and reorganized it with no real goal in mind. It has since become something so much more.

It’s not just a blog in which I can share my thoughts on the joys of sleeping naked or the health benefits of orgasms. It gives me a regular outlet for exploring and refining my writing skills. Spending a little time every day on this blog, talking about the topics that interest me, be they sexy or mundane, is downright therapeutic at times. If I find more success, I want this blog to be an outlet of sorts for my writing and my aspirations.

Again, I don’t necessarily know what that entails. I still intend to write regularly on this blog. I also intend to make it fun and entertaining when I can, like my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts” columns. I also hope to craft other little projects on the side to make this blog worth visiting. I admit it’s small now, but I want to do what I can to help it grow.

In addition, I also want to keep writing more novels. That should be an obvious enough endeavor for 2017. I’ve managed to craft a couple manuscripts in 2016. So far, only “Passion Relapse” has attracted attention. I hope that changes in 2017, but if not, I’ll keep producing more content. I have a fairly good idea of what kind of story I want to tell next. I also have a good idea of the story I want to tell after that. Like I said, I’m proactive.

Beyond writing, I still have my share of personal goals for 2017. Chief among them is to find a romantic partner with which to share this never-ending process. Whether that involves online dating or meeting someone at a dive bar on the Jersey Shore, I’m open to that experience. I want to make that kind of personal progress as well.

There are other goals I hope to make. I feel like I’ve become more balanced as I’ve gotten older, both in terms of my life goals and my approach to achieving them. I’d like to keep working on that balance. I believe it’ll keep me focused, honest, and sincere in my endeavors.

With 2016 drawing to a close, I feel like I can enter 2017 with a healthy bit of confidence. I feel like that’s the best anyone can do, to make the next year better than the last. Sometimes we can only do so much. There are a lot of forces beyond our control, but in our personal lives, I believe we control much more than we think.

So for the rest of 2016, my only remaining goal is to stock up on whiskey, watch college football, read some comics, brainstorm some sexy stories, and watch the ball drop before I get too drunk. If I can do these things while naked, then that’s just a bonus.

Until then, I wish everyone a safe, happy, and sexy New Years Eve!

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December 26, 2016 · 9:04 am

On The Road To The Jersey Shore

Just thought I’d make a quick post today. As per my family’s holiday tradition, I’m doing a lot of traveling. I’m making my way up to the Jersey Shore where I’ve got some relatives with which I spend most of my holidays. There’s beach bars, there’s restaurants, and there’s enough Christmas candy to put anyone into a diabetic coma. It’s a beautiful thing.

While I’m on the road and have limited access to Wi-Fi, I’ll be contemplating a few other topics to discuss before the end of the year. I’m still waiting to hear from Crimson Frost Publishing on news of “Embers of Eros.” Due to the holidays, I’m not expecting to hear much. If I do, however, I’ll make a big deal about it on this blog. That much you can count on.

I also have a few sexy topics that I hope to discuss, which should get everyone in the mood for 2017. I’m still reading “Sex At Dawn,” a book that seems to give me a new sexy idea with every chapter. So expect plenty more discussions about that.

Also, I hope to finalize a plan for my next novel. Depending on how my work with Crimson Frost Publishing and “Passion Relapse” go, I want to go in a specific direction, one that will create that perfect blend of romance and erotica.

So as I remain on the road around the Jersey Shore, I hope everyone had a great Christmas and are recovering as needed. We’ve got a brand new year ahead of us and I’ve got plenty of sexy stories and discussions to share.

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December 25, 2016 · 7:37 am

Merry Christmas!

On behalf of little old me, Jack Fisher, an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I wish everyone everywhere a very Merry Christmas, a very Happy Holidays, and a very sexy New Years.

It’s been an eventful year for me as an aspiring writer. I finished several manuscripts. One of them got picked up by a publisher. One is still pending. I’ve got plenty of ideas to explore in 2017 and plenty more sexy stories to tell. For now, I hope everyone takes the time to settle down, open some presents, drink some eggnog, and spend time with family.

It’s also not too late to make it sexy with my special holiday book, “Holiday Heat.” What’s the holidays without a little sex appeal? I ask because it’s a question most don’t dare to ask. Well, I dare.

My weekly sexy Sunday thoughts will be back in 2017. Until then, have a great holiday!

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December 24, 2016 · 8:51 am

Jack Fisher’s Favorite Christmas Special (It Involves X-men)

I love this time of year. I love Christmas, the holidays, and everything associated with it. I’m the kind of guy who puts his Christmas tree up a few days after Halloween, does all his Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving, and gets drunk on eggnog when the first Christmas special airs.

My love of Christmas even extends into my erotica/romance career. I wrote an entire book around the premise of mixing seasonal cheer with an overtly sexy story. It’s called “Holiday Heat” and if you’re looking for a sexy gift that doesn’t involve handcuffs or anything leather-studded, this will fill that need, among others.

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I hope I’ve made clear by now just how much I love Christmas. I’ll definitely be doing plenty of celebrating over the next few days, with and without my pants on. I’m at that stage in my holiday celebration where I’m watching all my favorite Christmas specials and discovering new ones.

Now I have a soft spot for the classics. I can watch the “Charlie Brown Christmas Special” again and again and still love every second of it. I can watch “The Santa Clause” and “Die Hard” just as much. Then, there’s “Bad Santa.” I don’t think I need to explain why I love that movie so much.

As much as I love those movies, there is one particular Christmas special that is near and dear to my heart. It’s necessarily the most iconic or the most sexy, but it’s been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. Naturally, it involves comic books, which I seem to cite a lot on this blog. Even more naturally, it involves X-men, which I cite more than most.

Back in the mid-90s, there was a sizable glut of comic book themed cartoons. I know because I watched damn near every one of them. My priorities were survive school, get home as fast as possible, and watch cartoons. X-men, particularly the 90s animated series that ran for 76 episodes, was one of those cartoons.

It may seem a little dated now, but for its time, this was the alpha and omega of all things X-men. It was the avenue through which many X-men fans were created. Naturally, I was one of them. Just as naturally, it had a Christmas special.

That special was called “Have Yourself A Morlock Little Christmas.” It’s one of the few episodes where the X-men don’t fight aliens, killer robots, or super-villains. Instead, they seek to help the Morlocks, a group of outcast mutants who live in the sewer to escape anti-mutant persecution. Not surprisingly, their Christmas isn’t very festive, but that doesn’t stop the X-men from making their holiday a little more awesome.

It’s short. It’s sweet. It’s not going to make you cry or vomit. It’s just going to put a smile on your face for all the right reasons. While there may be other Christmas specials in the future, this one will always have a special place in my heart. If you’re an X-men fan or a comic book fan in general, I highly recommend you add this to your holiday viewing schedule.

I can’t post the entire episode here on this blog without earning the wrath of Marvel’s army of lawyers, but here’s a clip that should show what this episode has to offer.

 

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December 18, 2016 · 8:25 am

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: The Chilly Nipple Edition

Let’s not beat around the bush or snicker at the other connotations that “beating around the bush” implies. It’s cold outside. It’s colder than a penguins nut-sack. This past week, another polar vortex descended over the good old USA, ensuring heavy clothing and pert nipples all over the country, except for the lucky shits in south Florida.

I’m not a fan of the cold. I’d much rather be in a climate where I don’t have to wear pants around the house and where there’s a good chance of me seeing women in bikinis. Unfortunately, my erotica/romance career hasn’t been successful enough to afford me such a luxury. Make no mistake. As soon as I strike it rich as a writer, I’m moving to Florida where I can see sexy bikinis all year around.

Until then, though, I’m left to keep warm in my own way. Sometimes that involves a glass of hot cocoa. Sometimes that involves a glass of whiskey. Sometimes that involves getting naked, curling up under multiple sheets, and reading the sexiest, smuttiest, most haplessly romantic story I can. It works even better than you think.

So as many of us settle in for a cold, bitter winter, I’d like to help everybody warm up with another rendition of my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.” You may still need a few extra blankets. You still may need some hot cocoa and whiskey. At the very least, I’ll make damn sure to get the blood flowing for men and women alike in all the right ways. Enjoy!

“From a purely practical perspective, having a skilled tongue counts as an effective form of contraception.”

Think about it, but try not to overthink it unless you have a spare set of pants. Contraception, as an industry, is still controversial. Even without the aid of Big Pharma, there are skills you can employ to get the desired result.

“To those with a serious foot fetish, walking into a shoe store is like walking into a Victoria’s Secret.”

I don’t deny it. There are those who find feet every bit as sexy as a pair of perfectly round tits. I have nothing but respect for those people. However, I can’t help but wonder how awkward it must be going into a shoe store.

“Injuries sustained during sex are either a point of pride or a point of embarrassment with nothing in between.”

This is one of those inescapable either/or situations. If you strain a muscle giving your partner multiple orgasms, you’re going to wear that with a badge of honor. If you break your arm trying to give someone a reach-around, you’ll probably take that to your grave.

“The necessary skills for a mechanic and a gynecologist are remarkably similar.”

This one doesn’t require much thought. Both specializes require skilled hands, an understanding of fluid dynamics, and an ability to understand specialized hardware. Remember that next time a mechanic is giving your car a tune-up.

“The sight of a woman masturbating turns most men on. The sight of a man masturbating turns most men off. This may just be nature’s way of telling us not to waste perfectly good horniness.”

Nature may have a dirty mind at times, but it’s is also a pragmatist at heart. It abhors overly wasteful activities. Put a masturbating man and a masturbating woman in the same room and chances are nature will find a way to make that horniness productive.

“Men want women to love like an angel and fuck like a whore. Women want men to love like a knight and fuck like an outlaw. Is it possible to meet each other halfway?”

That’s an honest question. Men and women have all sorts of twisted, sometimes self-contradicting expectations from their partners. There should be a healthy medium, but we don’t seem inclined to find it.

“These days, getting married is just a way to have sex with someone without government or religious types bugging you about it.”

When you think about it, the repressive forces of religion and government’s best weapon against sexual immorality in a secular society is trolling. They’ll annoy people who just want to fuck and make love until they agree to their legal/holy rituals. Unfortunately, it works too damn well.

“Chastity belts would never work on men because men are way too willing to take stupid, extreme risks to get out of a situation.”

This may just be my personal bias as a man, but in my experience, men just go to way more ridiculous lengths then women in a tough situation. They’re not always smart. They’re sometimes downright disturbing. As a result, something like a chastity belt for men probably wouldn’t work in the long run.

That’s it for now. Hope this helped everybody warm up!

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December 10, 2016 · 8:54 am

Marketing My Novels (And Why That Scares Me)

I have a confession to make. No, it’s not one of those confessions that involve the absence of pants, the presence of cameras, and a companions who may or may not be getting paid by the hour. This is the kind of confession that would make a Catholic Priest yawn and roll his eyes.

In wake of the news that my first published erotica/romance novel, “Embers of Eros,” will be released on December 20, 2016, I feel I need to make something clear. I know nothing about marketing a book or being a salesman. In fact, if there was a way to know less than nothing, I would. My experience with sales is restricted to the traffic I generate on this blog, which is every bit as limited as it sounds.

I make this confession in hopes of establishing where I’m coming from as I try to build my career as a published author. As I’ve said before, I know I’m behind the curve. I know I have a long way to go before I can achieve the success I want. “Embers of Eros” and “Passion Relapse” are just small steps, but they’re still significant.

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A more significant step, though, involves actually selling these steamy hot romance/erotica books I write. I’m not going to mince words. That kind of terrifies me. Asking me to be a successful salesman is like asking me to do brain surgery. I’m woefully ill-equipped.

That’s not to say I have no experience whatsoever in convincing people to buy something. In my youth, I did a few odd jobs here and there that involved some light selling. I even dipped my toes into those dumb get-rich-quick-schemes that seem to flood the internet like updates to the iPhone.

Thankfully, I never got suckered into a scheme that cost me a lot of money. The problem, or benefit in this case, is that I tend to overthink a situation and I usually end up finding a flaw. That’s often why my writing, as well as my depictions of seamy love scenes, are so thorough. It’s just a quirk I’ve always had.

It’s a good quirk if you’re writing detailed, intricate love scenes in a romance/erotica novel. It’s not a good quirk when you have to think on your feet while convincing a total stranger to buy your crap. I’m not the Wolf of Walls Street and not just because I don’t pop Quaaludes off a stripper’s ass.

This is why I’m so determined to get the support of a publisher. It’s my sincere hope that they employ people who actually know a thing or two about selling a book, or anything for that matter. All of the self-published books I’ve written have little to no marketing behind them. This blog, and my social media feeds, are pretty much all I’ve got.

I’m hoping that, with the publication of two erotica/romance books, I can change that. I understand that if I want to be successful in this endeavor, I need to learn new skills. I need to learn how to sell myself and, more importantly, I have to know how to do that while keeping my pants on.

I hope that the publishers I work with will give me some help here and hopefully it isn’t the kind of help that makes for lousy late-night infomercials whose pitchmen tend to end up in prison. I have some ideas. Unfortunately, I have no idea if they’re any good.

Those ideas include things like doing a few more YouTube videos, like I did for “Skin Deep.” They also include something akin to a podcast. Hell, I’m willing to make T-shirts and do crazy publicity stunts at this point if it’ll help me become a more successful writer. I just have to do this while dealing with my inescapable predilection to overthinking a situation.

To anyone and everyone who has some experience in this field, I seek your guidance. Just understand that my skills in selling a book are woefully inept compared to my skills in crafting a book. I can make the product. I just need someone to help me sell it. I just hope I don’t get flagged by the DEA for writing those words.

I’ll provide more updates on what happens with my publishers and “Embers of Eros.” For now, I’m taking a wait-and-see-and-adapt approach, not forgetting that I lack certain skills at the moment to carry me forward. I hope 2017 gives me a chance to change that. Only time will tell. If it means being able to share my sexy stories with more people, then I say it’s a worthwhile endeavor.

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December 4, 2016 · 8:05 am

Sexy Sunday Thoughts (And Staying Warm)

It’s been more than a week since Thanksgiving. I take it everyone has had sufficient time to digest their meal, pick at the leftovers, and hate themselves for the weight they gained. To those who still feel bloated, I say cheer up! You’ll feel better just in time for Christmas. Then you’ll get to feel bloated all over again, but you’ll get presents this time. That should help you hate yourself a little less.

It’s amazing. We’ve made it to the last month of 2016. What an eventful/crazy/please-God-let-it-be-over year it has been. Stephen King, J R. R. Tolken, Shakespeare, and Ernest Hemmingway could collaborate on an entire series of novels and not do justice to the sheer insanity we’ve had this year. They’d probably quit and/or throw up in disgust halfway through and nobody would blame them.

I won’t harp on the details. I’d rather look forward to making this last month of 2016 a bit less insane. The holidays are here. I’ve got my Christmas tree up. I see decorations, pretty lights, and cheap eggnog everywhere I turn. It’s a wonderful time of year, one that gives us all a chance to end the year on a high note.

I’m certainly ready for the holidays. I’m entering the final month of this year on a bit of an upswing. My book, “Passion Relapse,” is in the works with my new publisher. I just finished a draft for another manuscript. I’ve got a long list of sexy stories to develop on my plate. I like to think I’m making the most of this crazy year and feeling sexy as hell while doing it.

I can’t undo any of the craziness that 2016 has given us. I can’t do much to allay the fears of those who dread 2017 just as much. I can only continue to fill the world with my eccentric, sexy, and colorful musings in hopes they’ll brighten someone else’s day.

That brings me to yet another addition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts. I’m trying to make it a weekly column that everyone can look forward to on this blog. Had a long week? Feeling tired, burned out, and run down? Say no more because I’m here to help!

So sit back, relax, hug your lover, hug a friend, and ditch the clothes. Let yourself feel content and free as I share with you the crazy sexy musings that fill my head on a Sunday morning in December.

“We build a holiday around a woman who gave birth without having sex, but we still celebrate when we or our friends give birth with sex. Am I missing something here?”

I’ve always wondered about that. The Virgin Mary is so revered, but we also revere those who can get laid and give birth. So which is it? Which is more worthy of such reverence?

“A cup of hot chocolate on a cold winter day is like an orgasm in liquid form.”

Staying warm in the winter is a challenge. With hot chocolate, marshmallows, and a little nutmeg, it’s be one of those fun challenges we can enjoy and we don’t even have to take our pants off.

“Anyone who says it’s better than sex might just be doing it wrong.”

I’m not saying it’s impossible for something to be better than sex. I’m just saying that some may have a skewed perspective.

“Large breasts and soft pillows offer a similar level of comfort. Coincidence? I think not.”

Large breasts have many functions. They are among the most beautifully functional structures in nature. What other body part can arouse us and calm us so effectively?

“Does sex really have a smell? Or is it just our other senses conspiring against us to keep us horny?”

I’ve often heard people claim that something or someone smells like sex. I’m not sure sex has a specific scent, but I am sure our bodies will use any excuse to make and keep us horny.

“A fat wallet is to a man what breast implants are to a woman.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. There’s no such thing as an unsexy rich man.

“The only difference between porno and action movies is that porno exchanges violence for sex.”

This is something that does bug me to some extent, sex being put on the same level as violence. When it comes to shooting someone or giving them an orgasm, I don’t think it’s a fair comparison.

“When you think about it, mutual oral sex between partners is an extremely enhanced hug.”

As a hugger by nature, I think there’s a spectrum of sorts when it comes to sharing intimacy. Mutual oral sex, namely that of the 69 position that Playboy loved to describe, is right in the middle.

That’s it for this week’s edition of sexy Sunday thoughts. Hope this helped warm you up, made you horny, or put you in the holiday spirit. If it ends up doing all three, then consider it a bonus.

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November 27, 2016 · 8:30 am

More Sexy Sunday Thoughts

It’s Sunday morning. It’s after an official holiday in Thanksgiving. It’s also after an unofficial holiday in Black Friday. So for those of us who love food, shopping, and everything in between, we’re pretty spent. We’re burned out on turkey, pumpkin pie, potatoes, and navigating crowded malls that often lead to fist-fights over parking spots. So how are we going to recover?

That’s not a rhetorical question. I’m serious because at this very moment, I still feel like a a hung over sumo wrestler. I’ve had so much turkey and done so much shopping. Both my stomach and my credit card are turning against me. I’ll recover, but I’m going to need some help.

Being an erotica/romance writer, my skills are somewhat limited in that respect. However, in my experience, such feelings of bloat and burnout are best handled by simpler feelings that even our cavemen ancestors would appreciate. Now I’m not implying that it has to be the sexy kind of feelings, but those are the feelings I have the most experience with. They also happen to work so why argue with results?

With that in mind, I’d like to share another edition of Jack Fisher’s sexy Sunday thoughts. I thought the last entry went over fairly well. If possible, I’d like to make this a regular thing for those who need to recover from a hard week or, in this case, an eventful holiday. So sit back, let all that turkey and pie digest, and enjoy a few sensual musings from an aspiring erotica/romance writer. Enjoy!

When you have a quick fuck in the shower, is it dirty or clean?

Isn’t that the existential question that every frisky couple ponders?

The thought of breasts and the sight of breasts have a similar effect on straight men.

It’s no secret. Men have dirty imaginations. You can pixilate them all you want. Men are still going to respond to breasts in ways the FCC and the Catholic Church don’t like.

Is it physically possible for a beautiful woman to eat a banana in a way that doesn’t seem sexual?

I’ve tried to think of a scenario. Even with my twisted  imagination, I still can’t.

Does the fact that lips can sometimes look like an engorged vagina make gay men feel conflicted?

I’m not gay, but I’m often curious about how they manage their sex lives. There are more than a few issues where I feel they may need to get creative.

We shudder at the thought of our parents having sex, but they also shudder at the thought of their children having sex. That says a lot about how much nature trusts our libido.

I’ve always wondered about this. I think it may be some elaborate way to keep us from humping everything. Then again, it must not work because incest porn is still a thing.

Generally speaking, there’s no such thing as an unsexy rich man.

I’m not saying all women are enamored with rich men, but I do think it’s too pragmatic a way to make use of good looks. It’s also proof that having nice breasts counts as a good investments.

The invention of bikinis and lingerie is proof that people had to get creative in the days before internet porn.

In every society, there needs to be an outlet for horny men. Both necessity and horniess can be powerful motivators that produce amazing results.

Does drinking really make us horny? Or does it just make us realize how horny we actually are?

It’s another one of those existential questions that doesn’t have a real answer. In the end, I think the truth will often lie somewhere in between.

That’s it for now. Hope this helps aid in your post-holiday recovery and/or puts you in the mood, whichever comes first. If you have any other sexy thoughts you’d like to share to cap off this holiday weekend, please do.

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November 20, 2016 · 9:01 am

Sexy Sunday Thoughts

It’s another beautiful Sunday. It’s not just any Sunday either. It’s the Sunday before Thanksgiving. That means two things. One, I’m getting hungry as hell. Two, I need to get my Christmas shopping done so I can be slightly less annoyed by all the Christmas ads.

It’s a beautiful time of year. It’s not a time of year that most people associate with anything sexy. I’m sure there’s a specific subset of people that find turkey, stuffing, and family gatherings sexy. I don’t judge what gets your dick hard or your panties wet. I just know that everyone has their quirks. How else do you explain the success of dinosaur porn?

As an aspiring romance/erotica writer, it’s my job to appreciate and nurture these quirks in any way I can. I’m not saying I’ll be writing a novel about a Thanksgiving three-way anytime soon, although I don’t doubt that such a story may have some appeal. I’m just saying that there are a few things around the holidays worth appreciating and yes, those things can be sexy.

With that in mind, I’d like to share with you a few sexy Sunday thoughts, courtesy of Jack Fisher. I apologize in advance if some of these sound like musings from someone who skipped a couple meals. When you work up an appetite, your loins and your stomach tend to conspire against you.

The appeal of fireworks and orgasms is eerily similar, but the more you think about it, the less eerie it gets.

Go on. Look at this picture and give it just a little extra thought. Your panties will tell you I’m right

In some respects, a woman playing a video game with a male character makes her a dominatrix by default.

I know women play video games. I know video games have  broad appeal. However, if you’re going to take the definition of a dominatrix literally, you can’t escape the implications.

The noises we make when we’re hungry are eerily similar to the noises we make when we’re horny.

Food and sex are part of survival and reproduction, the two most basic drives of life. Is it really any surprise that sometimes our brain mixes them up?

Some of our kinkier sexual practices are inspired from animals, but animals don’t seem inspired by us in the same way.

That’s kind of telling when you think about it. We humans need to observe the strange mating practices of animals for ideas, but they don’t seem to have that problem.

Kid toys can be used as adult toys with a little extra effort and imagination.

This may be a disturbing thought for some, but it’s kind of hard to avoid the imagery. If you’re horny enough, you don’t need much imagination to see potential in a toy.

Sweat created from heat and sweat created from sex are chemically the same, but smell so different.

Sweat lets us know we’re working hart. Sweat lets us know we’ve accomplished something. When we sweat because we’re hot, we’re not accomplishing anything. When we sweat because we’re having heated, passionate sex, then we might as well be sweating scented oils.

From a purely pragmatic standpoint, the tongue is the most useful sexual organ that both genders have.

I don’t think this needs much explanation. A tongue is always wet. It doesn’t need to get hard. Both men and women can use it and know how it works. It’s both practical and sexy.

When you celebrate your birthday, you’re also celebrating the fact that your parents had sex.

We can’t get around it. We’re here. That means our parents had sex and probably more than once. We don’t like to think about it, but if they enjoyed it, then that means they enjoyed making us so I think that’s something worth celebrating.

Got any other sexy thoughts you’d like to share? I can’t be the only one who has them on the holidays. Please share them during this special time of year! Make the holidays sexy again!

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November 19, 2016 · 8:56 am

My Thanksgiving Preparations Have Begun!

This is a special time of year for me. It’s even more special this year after one of my novels, “Passion Relapse,” has been accepted by a publisher. I have many reasons to be excited about the coming months, but for the moment, I intend to channel that excitement into a more pressing issue. Yes, there is something that’s more pressing to me than publishing.

I’m referring to, of course, the holidays. I know I’m going to sound corny here and no, I don’t give a rat’s ass if I do, but I love the holidays. I love Christmas. I love Thanksgiving. It’s not just because of gifts, decorations, sales, or beautiful women dressed as sexy elves. Yes. that is a thing.

I love the holidays because it gives me and my family a chance to get together, have a big feast, and throw a big ass party. I’m not talking about a quiet night with wine, crackers, and polite conversation about politics, horses, and Downton Abby. I come from a family that knows how to goddamn party!

We drink. We sing. We dance. We make the kind of jokes you don’t see outside of South Park reruns. Then, there’s the food. God of mercy, we have awesome food. It’s the kind of food that’s worth waiting an entire goddamn year for. There are a lot of talented cooks in my family. There are also many who enjoy splurging on the kind of decadent deserts that will send you into a holiday coma. I like to think I’m both.

It all starts with Thanksgiving. At the moment, our plans are fairly set. We know who’s coming, when they’re coming, and how eager they are to come. Yes, I know that’s a very poor choice of words for an erotica/romance writer. No, I’m not going to apologize for it.

That means that right now, all that’s left to do is wait for Thanksgiving Day. For me, that means making a few very specific preparations. Those preparations involve me preparing myself for treats like this.

For 11 months out of the year, I generally try to maintain a pretty healthy lifestyle and a fairly healthy diet. I’m not a vegan or a total health nut, but I do like to take care of myself. I do try to make sure my diet is decent, at the very least. I try not to eat a lot of sugar, fatty foods, or anything that might make me feel less sexy.

Well, I basically kick those rules in the balls and throw them out the door for Thanksgiving. For one day, I basically forget everything I’ve learned about a healthy diet. For me, Thanksgiving is the ultimate cheat day. I won’t hesitate to gorge on turkey, beer, soda, whiskey, cheesecake, chocolate, or anything that ends up getting deep fried. I don’t care if it makes me feel sick the next day. It’s the holidays goddamn it!

In preparation for this, I’ll be eating a lot less for the next several days. I’ll skip deserts. I’ll skip snacks. If I drink anything, it’s going to be coffee or water. My stomach already knows this. I felt it growling last night, as if to tell me its getting impatient. Sometimes, I have to calm it down, urging it to wait just a little bit longer. It’ll be worth the wait.

I’m hoping my excitement over “Passion Relapse” makes the food taste that much sweeter. For the next few days though, I’ll be roughing it as much as I can in preparation. I intend to work up an epic appetite for this year and I intend to enjoy every goddamn moment of food, family, and football along the way. It may not be overly sexy, but it’s the most fun I’ll have all year with my pants on.

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