Tag Archives: Jack Fisher

January 15, 2017 · 7:56 am

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Freedom Edition

Let’s not lie to ourselves. Freedom is sexy. There are many reasons to fight for it. The ability to wear a swimsuit that is indistinguishable from underwear is just one of them. The struggle for freedom is very real. It’s not exclusive to America either. This is a struggle generations upon generations have had in every era of human civilization. It’s likely that struggle will continue for generations to come.

For an aspiring erotica/romance writer, freedom is an important ingredient in crafting my stories. It tends to be much sexier when those involved freely come together, both romantically and sexually. There’s just something uniquely satisfying about two people freely ditching their clothes and celebrating their freedom in the sexiest way possible.

I’m lucky enough to live in a part of the world and in a time in history where I can enjoy a level of freedom that my ancestors would probably envy. It’s a beautiful thing and I’m grateful for it every day.

To show my gratitude, I’m here with another entry of my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.” These are the kinds of thoughts that are best read while naked, drunk, or listening to polka-themed disco music. I don’t intend for them to spread the joys of freedom, but I sincerely hope it gives those who enjoy not wearing pants on a Sunday morning a moment to reflect on their love of freedom.

“If love were a real drug, we’d all overdose on it some of the time. If sex were a real drug, we’d all overdose on it most of the time.”

Let’s face it. We tend to abuse drugs, especially if they make us feel good. In that sense, love and sex definitely qualify. If Big Pharma could patent these drugs and charge half a mortgage for them, they’d do it in a heartbeat and we’d still pay. The fact that one is easier to abuse than the other and that one happens to involve nudity should make us grateful that somebody hasn’t put these feelings into a pill just yet.

“The extent to which we profess our love for each other is directly proportional to how foolish we’re willing to be.”

I’m not just referring to goofy teen movies here. People will go to crazy lengths to prove how much they love someone and not just by buying an overpriced shiny rock. Show me someone who shows up at someone’s door naked and covered in chocolate with a news crew and I’ll show you someone who’s willing to go the extra mile for their lover.

“A celebrity knows they’ve become a sex symbol when they can wear pajamas to an awards show and still get laid.”

This is just common sense. Hugh Jackman and Jennifer Lawrence could wear a trash bag and a powdered wig to the Oscars and she would still be sexier than 99 percent of the women on this planet.

“Foreplay is like eating the remaining cake batter in the bowl while the cake is cooking. Afterglow is like licking up what’s left of the frosting after you’ve eaten the cake.”

As a kid, I loved licking the bowl whenever my mom baked a cake. As an adult, I learned to apply my tastes to more intimate situations. I like to think the preparations for cake prepared me for those more intimate moments.

“Sweet talk and sexy talk aren’t the same thing, but in the right circumstances, one can indirectly lead to the other.”

When things get heated, we often say one thing leads to another, but don’t get into specifics. I’m of the opinion that we use kinder, less sexy words to set the mood and the sexier words just emerge naturally from that mood. It’s a beautiful thing.

“If it really does take 10,000 hours of practice to become good at something, then shouldn’t porn stars be certified sex therapists by default?”

When want to get our car fixed, we want to see a mechanic who has fixed a lot of cars. When we need major surgery, we want a surgeon who has conducted a lot of successful surgeries. By that logic, why don’t we consult porn stars more when we need advice on sex? It’s just logic.

“Isn’t it a little bit odd that the ass is the only sexy body part that we admire by slapping it?”

This has always confused me. We caress breasts. We stroke penises. We kiss and suck with our lips. Why do we slap asses to show our admiration? It’s something I think rappers and exotic dancers should think about.

That’s it for now. Now go out there and enjoy a free and sexy Sunday!

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January 11, 2017 · 7:00 am

Lessons From The First Round Of Revisions For “Passion Relapse”

I have my first major update of my pending novels for 2017. As I announced last year, one of my books, “Passion Relapse,” was accepted by a publisher. It’s an exciting development for me in my efforts to become a published writer. It also starts a much more arduous process that every aspiring writer must endure and that’s edits.

I knew this going in. It’s something that is destined to put a few dents in your ego, among other things. When you write a story, even one you put your heart and soul into, it’s going to be flawed. It’s going to need revisions. Some are extremely extensive revisions. Some take it as an affront to their work, as though anyone who dares to question its quality is no better than someone who hits them in the shin with a baseball bat.

When you’re trying to make a career of something, you can’t assume right off the back that you’re that good. With everything I write, no matter how much effort I put into it, I assume it’s mediocre at best and crap at worst. I accept that it needs revisions and polish. I’ve had to do a lot of that on my own, sometimes with help of an editor. With “Passion Relapse,” though, I have a more official process for revising my work.

Over the past weekend, I received the first round of edits for my manuscript. Keep in mind, this is a manuscript I already revised before, having rewritten the entire ending at the request of the publisher. The editor from the publisher already told me this is just the first round. That means I can expect this manuscript to undergo some pretty extensive revisions that are sure to reveal just how far I have to go.

The first round of edits certainly implied I had room for improvement. My editor revealed some rather unflattering tendencies I have in my writing, namely the kind you really can’t pick up on by yourself. No matter how good you think you are at something, you’re always going to be somewhat blind to your flaws. I’m certainly no exception.

With this first round of edits, I got a feel for the sheer breadth of my flaws. They’re definitely there. They definitely undermined the overall quality of the story. I still believe in the value of that story and so does the publisher. It’s the refinements that need work and I’m willing to work with my editor to complete those refinements.

However, in doing so, I’ve gained a greater understanding of the skills I need to improve for future novels. Make no mistake. I have many ideas for future novels. I’ve been holding off on a few because I want to learn something from this editing process to make future submissions easier. One skill, in particular, stands out among the others and it’s kind of an important skill for my genre.

I need to write better sex scenes.

I know. That sounds like a hell of an oversight for someone who identifies as an erotica/romance writer. Struggling with that is like being a horror writer, but not being able to write scenes that scare people. That’s a big freakin’ deal for me and I need to be better.

Specifically, my editor revealed that I’m a bit too analytical with my scenes. I spend too much time describing what’s actually happening and not enough on the actual emotions involved. That matters because one part is sexy and the other isn’t. People tend to get more turned on by what people do with their genitals than mere descriptions of said genitals.

I’ve also learned that I need to make sure the actions I describe are linked to the characters. What I mean by that is sometimes I tend to describe body parts or actions that have a mind of their own. There are times when that works, but most of the time it doesn’t. For the story I’m writing in “Passion Relapse,” it’s not really a scenario that applies.

While this is pretty striking for an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I’m glad someone pointed it out. That’s not to say I agree with everything my editor told me, but I do see plenty of merit in improving my craft. If it means my novels contain hotter, sexier content, then I’m willing to put in that extra work.

For now, I’m done with the first round of edits. I’m now waiting for the second round. I don’t entirely know what that entails yet, but I’ll be sure to provide updates as more details come in. I want to make “Passion Relapse” as great a book as possible. That means making it as sexy as possible. For that, I’m willing to do my part.

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January 9, 2017 · 5:59 am

Blog Upgrade Announcement

Just thought I’d make a quick announcement today, one that I hope bodes well for the future of this blog. Since I started posting regularly again last year, I’ve been contemplating its future and purpose. I’ve found that the more I write here, the more I want to write. It’s one of those brutal cycles that doesn’t destroy your liver or lungs.

With that in mind, I decided to invest a little more into making this blog more official and not something that a burned out college student works on in between exams. I’ve taken my own money, which is limited mind you, and purchased and upgraded plan from WordPress on this blog. In conjunction with this upgrade, I also got a free domain name to go with it.

This, I hope, will add more legitimacy to this blog, especially after my books “Embers of Eros” and “Passion Relapse” come out. If I’m going to be a real published author, it’s important that I present myself in a way that looks like I give a damn. Having a domain name and a more polished blog is just one of the ways I hope to do that.

As of now, my new web address for this blog is as follows:

https://www.jackfisherbooks.com

So please take the time to update your bookmarks and browsing history accordingly. This site will now be the new hub for me and my publishing efforts, be they book announcements or my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.”

I also intend to keep upgrading this blog in whatever way I can. That may mean tweaking the design and format, but I still haven’t decided yet. Right now, I’m focusing more on the ongoing projects I have at the moment, as well as the one I intend to start next. I’m not short on sexy ideas for sexy stories so I expect to be busy throughout 2017. I hope having a more polished blog will help.

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January 8, 2017 · 8:41 am

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Playoff Edition

If you’re an American Football fan, then this is a wonderful time of you for you. It’s playoff time! That’s right, the NFL playoffs start today. This is one of those years where I don’t have a lot of teams I’m rooting for. I have quite a few teams I’m rooting against, but sometimes that’s the best you can do in sports.

I’ll definitely be enjoying my share of the NFL playoffs for this week and the next couple weeks. Watching football is a great excuse to just pop open some beers, gorge on chicken wings, and relax. You usually don’t need too many excuses for that, but it helps.

You’d think that contact sports involving a bunch of big, strong, sweaty men ramming into each other at full speed wouldn’t inspire sexy thoughts. Actually, I don’t know why anyone would think that. Anything that works up a sweat or raises the heart can send all sorts of sexy signals to your brain. For an erotica/romance writer, those signals are always welcome.

So I’d like to make use of them today with another edition of Jack Fisher’s “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.” Hope this helps get everyone in the mood for the NFL playoffs, among other things. I consider it a public service from an aspiring erotica/romance writer, if only to keep people warm during the cold winter.

“Having an attractive pool cleaning guy is the male equivalent of having a hot secretary.”

How many pornos and bad movies that only air after midnight on Cinemax use this scenario? It’s overplayed. It’s predictable. It’s even a little flat. Even so, it can still be fun. It can still be sexy. Sometimes you just gotta stick with what works.

“For the excessively homophobic crowd, eating a hotdog or a banana must cause some serious anxiety.”

I have little to no sympathy for those who champion homophobia. I stash their sentiment in the same pile of trash as those who claim that letting kids playing dodge ball counts as abuse. However, I do sometimes wonder how stressful it must be to hold such extreme, bigoted views on an empty stomach.

“Give men a tax break for the number of real orgasms they give their wives and the number of happy marriages will increase considerably.”

This is just one of those crazy ideas that comes to an aspiring erotica/romance writer while he’s lying in bed at night, contemplating ways to change the world. Powerful, politically connected men are all about tax breaks these days. Provide a little orgasmic incentive and that power can be put to good use.

“Every time you see a really nice table in someone couple’s home, assume someone has been bent over and fucked on it at least once.”

This is simple math and connection here. You eat your meals on a nice table. You put your best cloths and flatware on a nice table. Naturally, if you’ve got a lover, you’re going to put them on there too and fuck their brains out. Sometimes people are just too horny to make it to the bedroom.

“The color of your bed sheets can inadvertently reveal how messy or dull your sex life might be.”

This time, it’s basic physics and chemistry at work here. Certain bed sheets, especially those of a darker color, tend to reveal certain stains more than others. The presence or absence of those stains can say a lot about your sex life.

“Giving sex education to horny teenagers can only go so far. Giving them sexual training might actually help their love lives down the line and they might actually be eager to learn it.”

As a former horny teenager, this is something I can relate to. My teachers can tell me everything there is to know about how a penis and vagina work. I’m not going to know if I’m doing it right without a little guidance. I’m not saying that it’s wholly feasible in high school, but it would make everyone a lot more excited to go to school.

“From a pure numbers perspective, women’s vaginas have cracked more bank accounts than every hacker or bank robber in history.”

I’ve watched many crime movies. I’ve heard all sorts of crazy stories about elaborate heists and hacks. Then, I recall how divorce laws work in this country and realize that if you’re going to crack a safe, sometimes a vagina and a great pair of tits is the best tools you can have. You don’t see too many sexy female bank robbers, do you?

That’s it for now. Enjoy the NFL playoffs and keep your tables clean!

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December 31, 2016 · 7:52 am

New Years Eve Reflections (And 2017 Aspirations)

Well, we made it. We made it through 2016. Sure, we lost way too many beloved celebrities along the way and there may have been some massive political upheaval in the western world from which we may not recover, but we still made it through. That counts for something, right?

I tend to be an optimist at heart. Granted, I wasn’t always that way. As a teenager, I would’ve run for school president on a pro-apocalypse, anti-homework candidate. I would’ve lost and probably been suspended, but that shows just how crappy my teen years were. As an adult, I’ve learned to keep looking forward and striving to make the next year better than the last.

So with 2016 drawing to a close, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on what I’ve done, what I hope to do, and what I’d like to accomplish moving forward. I won’t say I’ve had the best year. I won’t even say I’ve made a lot of progress, but I do feel like I’ve made some. In the long run, a little progress adds up. Like extended foreplay, it makes the final climax that much more satisfying. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

I’ll try to hold off on the dirty subtext for now, but I won’t make any promises. One of the biggest developments of 2016, by far, was the news I got on my book, “Passion Relapse.” The fact a publisher of any size took a chance on me, an aspiring erotica/romance writer who has received a steady stream of rejection letters for years now, is a pretty big accomplishment.

Now I’m not so delusional to think that this deal will make me the next J. K. Rowling. I’m not expecting to strike it rich or field calls from HBO anytime soon. However, I do hope that this is a stepping stone of sorts, one on which I can create a foundation for a successful future in publishing. I really do want to make a living telling these sexy, romantic stories. This is what I’m passionate about. This is what I want to do.

If 2016 is the first step in a long, arduous process. I’m happy to make it and I hope there’s more to make in 2017. I don’t know what the next step entails, but I will keep working for it. I will keep improving and refining my craft.

The same goes for this blog. I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do with this blog for a while. When I first launched “Skin Deep,” I basically abandoned it for a while and by a while, I mean years. I revisited, revamped, and reorganized it with no real goal in mind. It has since become something so much more.

It’s not just a blog in which I can share my thoughts on the joys of sleeping naked or the health benefits of orgasms. It gives me a regular outlet for exploring and refining my writing skills. Spending a little time every day on this blog, talking about the topics that interest me, be they sexy or mundane, is downright therapeutic at times. If I find more success, I want this blog to be an outlet of sorts for my writing and my aspirations.

Again, I don’t necessarily know what that entails. I still intend to write regularly on this blog. I also intend to make it fun and entertaining when I can, like my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts” columns. I also hope to craft other little projects on the side to make this blog worth visiting. I admit it’s small now, but I want to do what I can to help it grow.

In addition, I also want to keep writing more novels. That should be an obvious enough endeavor for 2017. I’ve managed to craft a couple manuscripts in 2016. So far, only “Passion Relapse” has attracted attention. I hope that changes in 2017, but if not, I’ll keep producing more content. I have a fairly good idea of what kind of story I want to tell next. I also have a good idea of the story I want to tell after that. Like I said, I’m proactive.

Beyond writing, I still have my share of personal goals for 2017. Chief among them is to find a romantic partner with which to share this never-ending process. Whether that involves online dating or meeting someone at a dive bar on the Jersey Shore, I’m open to that experience. I want to make that kind of personal progress as well.

There are other goals I hope to make. I feel like I’ve become more balanced as I’ve gotten older, both in terms of my life goals and my approach to achieving them. I’d like to keep working on that balance. I believe it’ll keep me focused, honest, and sincere in my endeavors.

With 2016 drawing to a close, I feel like I can enter 2017 with a healthy bit of confidence. I feel like that’s the best anyone can do, to make the next year better than the last. Sometimes we can only do so much. There are a lot of forces beyond our control, but in our personal lives, I believe we control much more than we think.

So for the rest of 2016, my only remaining goal is to stock up on whiskey, watch college football, read some comics, brainstorm some sexy stories, and watch the ball drop before I get too drunk. If I can do these things while naked, then that’s just a bonus.

Until then, I wish everyone a safe, happy, and sexy New Years Eve!

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December 26, 2016 · 9:04 am

On The Road To The Jersey Shore

Just thought I’d make a quick post today. As per my family’s holiday tradition, I’m doing a lot of traveling. I’m making my way up to the Jersey Shore where I’ve got some relatives with which I spend most of my holidays. There’s beach bars, there’s restaurants, and there’s enough Christmas candy to put anyone into a diabetic coma. It’s a beautiful thing.

While I’m on the road and have limited access to Wi-Fi, I’ll be contemplating a few other topics to discuss before the end of the year. I’m still waiting to hear from Crimson Frost Publishing on news of “Embers of Eros.” Due to the holidays, I’m not expecting to hear much. If I do, however, I’ll make a big deal about it on this blog. That much you can count on.

I also have a few sexy topics that I hope to discuss, which should get everyone in the mood for 2017. I’m still reading “Sex At Dawn,” a book that seems to give me a new sexy idea with every chapter. So expect plenty more discussions about that.

Also, I hope to finalize a plan for my next novel. Depending on how my work with Crimson Frost Publishing and “Passion Relapse” go, I want to go in a specific direction, one that will create that perfect blend of romance and erotica.

So as I remain on the road around the Jersey Shore, I hope everyone had a great Christmas and are recovering as needed. We’ve got a brand new year ahead of us and I’ve got plenty of sexy stories and discussions to share.

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December 25, 2016 · 7:37 am

Merry Christmas!

On behalf of little old me, Jack Fisher, an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I wish everyone everywhere a very Merry Christmas, a very Happy Holidays, and a very sexy New Years.

It’s been an eventful year for me as an aspiring writer. I finished several manuscripts. One of them got picked up by a publisher. One is still pending. I’ve got plenty of ideas to explore in 2017 and plenty more sexy stories to tell. For now, I hope everyone takes the time to settle down, open some presents, drink some eggnog, and spend time with family.

It’s also not too late to make it sexy with my special holiday book, “Holiday Heat.” What’s the holidays without a little sex appeal? I ask because it’s a question most don’t dare to ask. Well, I dare.

My weekly sexy Sunday thoughts will be back in 2017. Until then, have a great holiday!

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December 24, 2016 · 8:51 am

Jack Fisher’s Favorite Christmas Special (It Involves X-men)

I love this time of year. I love Christmas, the holidays, and everything associated with it. I’m the kind of guy who puts his Christmas tree up a few days after Halloween, does all his Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving, and gets drunk on eggnog when the first Christmas special airs.

My love of Christmas even extends into my erotica/romance career. I wrote an entire book around the premise of mixing seasonal cheer with an overtly sexy story. It’s called “Holiday Heat” and if you’re looking for a sexy gift that doesn’t involve handcuffs or anything leather-studded, this will fill that need, among others.

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I hope I’ve made clear by now just how much I love Christmas. I’ll definitely be doing plenty of celebrating over the next few days, with and without my pants on. I’m at that stage in my holiday celebration where I’m watching all my favorite Christmas specials and discovering new ones.

Now I have a soft spot for the classics. I can watch the “Charlie Brown Christmas Special” again and again and still love every second of it. I can watch “The Santa Clause” and “Die Hard” just as much. Then, there’s “Bad Santa.” I don’t think I need to explain why I love that movie so much.

As much as I love those movies, there is one particular Christmas special that is near and dear to my heart. It’s necessarily the most iconic or the most sexy, but it’s been a favorite of mine since I was a kid. Naturally, it involves comic books, which I seem to cite a lot on this blog. Even more naturally, it involves X-men, which I cite more than most.

Back in the mid-90s, there was a sizable glut of comic book themed cartoons. I know because I watched damn near every one of them. My priorities were survive school, get home as fast as possible, and watch cartoons. X-men, particularly the 90s animated series that ran for 76 episodes, was one of those cartoons.

It may seem a little dated now, but for its time, this was the alpha and omega of all things X-men. It was the avenue through which many X-men fans were created. Naturally, I was one of them. Just as naturally, it had a Christmas special.

That special was called “Have Yourself A Morlock Little Christmas.” It’s one of the few episodes where the X-men don’t fight aliens, killer robots, or super-villains. Instead, they seek to help the Morlocks, a group of outcast mutants who live in the sewer to escape anti-mutant persecution. Not surprisingly, their Christmas isn’t very festive, but that doesn’t stop the X-men from making their holiday a little more awesome.

It’s short. It’s sweet. It’s not going to make you cry or vomit. It’s just going to put a smile on your face for all the right reasons. While there may be other Christmas specials in the future, this one will always have a special place in my heart. If you’re an X-men fan or a comic book fan in general, I highly recommend you add this to your holiday viewing schedule.

I can’t post the entire episode here on this blog without earning the wrath of Marvel’s army of lawyers, but here’s a clip that should show what this episode has to offer.

 

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December 18, 2016 · 8:25 am

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: The Chilly Nipple Edition

Let’s not beat around the bush or snicker at the other connotations that “beating around the bush” implies. It’s cold outside. It’s colder than a penguins nut-sack. This past week, another polar vortex descended over the good old USA, ensuring heavy clothing and pert nipples all over the country, except for the lucky shits in south Florida.

I’m not a fan of the cold. I’d much rather be in a climate where I don’t have to wear pants around the house and where there’s a good chance of me seeing women in bikinis. Unfortunately, my erotica/romance career hasn’t been successful enough to afford me such a luxury. Make no mistake. As soon as I strike it rich as a writer, I’m moving to Florida where I can see sexy bikinis all year around.

Until then, though, I’m left to keep warm in my own way. Sometimes that involves a glass of hot cocoa. Sometimes that involves a glass of whiskey. Sometimes that involves getting naked, curling up under multiple sheets, and reading the sexiest, smuttiest, most haplessly romantic story I can. It works even better than you think.

So as many of us settle in for a cold, bitter winter, I’d like to help everybody warm up with another rendition of my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.” You may still need a few extra blankets. You still may need some hot cocoa and whiskey. At the very least, I’ll make damn sure to get the blood flowing for men and women alike in all the right ways. Enjoy!

“From a purely practical perspective, having a skilled tongue counts as an effective form of contraception.”

Think about it, but try not to overthink it unless you have a spare set of pants. Contraception, as an industry, is still controversial. Even without the aid of Big Pharma, there are skills you can employ to get the desired result.

“To those with a serious foot fetish, walking into a shoe store is like walking into a Victoria’s Secret.”

I don’t deny it. There are those who find feet every bit as sexy as a pair of perfectly round tits. I have nothing but respect for those people. However, I can’t help but wonder how awkward it must be going into a shoe store.

“Injuries sustained during sex are either a point of pride or a point of embarrassment with nothing in between.”

This is one of those inescapable either/or situations. If you strain a muscle giving your partner multiple orgasms, you’re going to wear that with a badge of honor. If you break your arm trying to give someone a reach-around, you’ll probably take that to your grave.

“The necessary skills for a mechanic and a gynecologist are remarkably similar.”

This one doesn’t require much thought. Both specializes require skilled hands, an understanding of fluid dynamics, and an ability to understand specialized hardware. Remember that next time a mechanic is giving your car a tune-up.

“The sight of a woman masturbating turns most men on. The sight of a man masturbating turns most men off. This may just be nature’s way of telling us not to waste perfectly good horniness.”

Nature may have a dirty mind at times, but it’s is also a pragmatist at heart. It abhors overly wasteful activities. Put a masturbating man and a masturbating woman in the same room and chances are nature will find a way to make that horniness productive.

“Men want women to love like an angel and fuck like a whore. Women want men to love like a knight and fuck like an outlaw. Is it possible to meet each other halfway?”

That’s an honest question. Men and women have all sorts of twisted, sometimes self-contradicting expectations from their partners. There should be a healthy medium, but we don’t seem inclined to find it.

“These days, getting married is just a way to have sex with someone without government or religious types bugging you about it.”

When you think about it, the repressive forces of religion and government’s best weapon against sexual immorality in a secular society is trolling. They’ll annoy people who just want to fuck and make love until they agree to their legal/holy rituals. Unfortunately, it works too damn well.

“Chastity belts would never work on men because men are way too willing to take stupid, extreme risks to get out of a situation.”

This may just be my personal bias as a man, but in my experience, men just go to way more ridiculous lengths then women in a tough situation. They’re not always smart. They’re sometimes downright disturbing. As a result, something like a chastity belt for men probably wouldn’t work in the long run.

That’s it for now. Hope this helped everybody warm up!

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December 10, 2016 · 8:54 am

Marketing My Novels (And Why That Scares Me)

I have a confession to make. No, it’s not one of those confessions that involve the absence of pants, the presence of cameras, and a companions who may or may not be getting paid by the hour. This is the kind of confession that would make a Catholic Priest yawn and roll his eyes.

In wake of the news that my first published erotica/romance novel, “Embers of Eros,” will be released on December 20, 2016, I feel I need to make something clear. I know nothing about marketing a book or being a salesman. In fact, if there was a way to know less than nothing, I would. My experience with sales is restricted to the traffic I generate on this blog, which is every bit as limited as it sounds.

I make this confession in hopes of establishing where I’m coming from as I try to build my career as a published author. As I’ve said before, I know I’m behind the curve. I know I have a long way to go before I can achieve the success I want. “Embers of Eros” and “Passion Relapse” are just small steps, but they’re still significant.

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A more significant step, though, involves actually selling these steamy hot romance/erotica books I write. I’m not going to mince words. That kind of terrifies me. Asking me to be a successful salesman is like asking me to do brain surgery. I’m woefully ill-equipped.

That’s not to say I have no experience whatsoever in convincing people to buy something. In my youth, I did a few odd jobs here and there that involved some light selling. I even dipped my toes into those dumb get-rich-quick-schemes that seem to flood the internet like updates to the iPhone.

Thankfully, I never got suckered into a scheme that cost me a lot of money. The problem, or benefit in this case, is that I tend to overthink a situation and I usually end up finding a flaw. That’s often why my writing, as well as my depictions of seamy love scenes, are so thorough. It’s just a quirk I’ve always had.

It’s a good quirk if you’re writing detailed, intricate love scenes in a romance/erotica novel. It’s not a good quirk when you have to think on your feet while convincing a total stranger to buy your crap. I’m not the Wolf of Walls Street and not just because I don’t pop Quaaludes off a stripper’s ass.

This is why I’m so determined to get the support of a publisher. It’s my sincere hope that they employ people who actually know a thing or two about selling a book, or anything for that matter. All of the self-published books I’ve written have little to no marketing behind them. This blog, and my social media feeds, are pretty much all I’ve got.

I’m hoping that, with the publication of two erotica/romance books, I can change that. I understand that if I want to be successful in this endeavor, I need to learn new skills. I need to learn how to sell myself and, more importantly, I have to know how to do that while keeping my pants on.

I hope that the publishers I work with will give me some help here and hopefully it isn’t the kind of help that makes for lousy late-night infomercials whose pitchmen tend to end up in prison. I have some ideas. Unfortunately, I have no idea if they’re any good.

Those ideas include things like doing a few more YouTube videos, like I did for “Skin Deep.” They also include something akin to a podcast. Hell, I’m willing to make T-shirts and do crazy publicity stunts at this point if it’ll help me become a more successful writer. I just have to do this while dealing with my inescapable predilection to overthinking a situation.

To anyone and everyone who has some experience in this field, I seek your guidance. Just understand that my skills in selling a book are woefully inept compared to my skills in crafting a book. I can make the product. I just need someone to help me sell it. I just hope I don’t get flagged by the DEA for writing those words.

I’ll provide more updates on what happens with my publishers and “Embers of Eros.” For now, I’m taking a wait-and-see-and-adapt approach, not forgetting that I lack certain skills at the moment to carry me forward. I hope 2017 gives me a chance to change that. Only time will tell. If it means being able to share my sexy stories with more people, then I say it’s a worthwhile endeavor.

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