Christmas is over. The holidays are drawing to a close. Many today are still fighting off hangovers from excessive eggnog, whiskey, and fruit juice spiked with vodka. If you party like my family does, you may be fighting off a combination of all three. If that is the case, I commend you. You are molded from stronger stuff.
As much fun as the holidays are, they do signal something else besides hangovers. The holidays, at least in this part of the world, signal the first stage of a long, cold winter. For those of us who don’t live in a tropical climate where it’s possible to wear a bikini to a Christmas party without risking hypothermia, the end of the holidays marks the end of the excuses we give ourselves to tolerate this time of year.
It’s winter now. It’s going to be cold. You can’t be all that sexy when it’s this cold. Being an erotica/romance writer, that’s kind of a problem. I sort of need to maintain a sexy sort of spirit in order to continue my work. I have a lot of ideas for novels. I have a lot of romantic/erotic concepts I want to explore. That’s going to be a challenge when I’m wearing several layers of clothes, sipping hot chocolate spiked with whiskey, and trying desperately to keep my balls from freezing.
Now I’m not saying I live in a part of the country that freezes over every winter. However, I do live in a part where it’s uncomfortably common to have to dig my car out of a big snow bank at least once a year. It’s not nearly as fun as it sounds. Kids may love snow days, but once they have to start digging their shit out of snow, it loses a lot of its appeal.
So how do I handle it? How do I keep things sexy in the winter time when walking around my house naked is a bit less practical? Well, I do have a few tips. In the spirit of recovering from holiday hangovers and helping others prepare for a long winter, here are some of Jack Fisher’s winter survival tips for those who want to keep things sexy.
- Always keep hot chocolate and wine handy, as there are few situations that can’t be made sexy with the right drink
- Take regular hot baths, with a heavy emphasis on candles and bubbles to make for a steamy, sudsy environment
- Wear colorful coats and scarfs, as color can let the world know that cold can’t stop you from being sexy
- Just because you have to wear layers doesn’t mean you have to wear them on every part of your body
- A sweatshirt and no pants will keep you warm and keep you sexy
- For men, use this opportunity to grow a thick, manly beard to emphasize the scope of your manliness
- For women, use this opportunity to style your hair and your nails in a way that’ll keep you warm and sexy
- Find a way to exercise and work up a sweat, if only to remind your body the importance of exerting itself in just the right ways
- Warm soups go well with a movie, especially those with heavy action and graphic nudity
- If you have a fireplace, use it and make love near it at least once during a snowstorm
- If you don’t have a fireplace, use your TV to stream a crackling fireplace to create a similar ambience (it won’t keep you warm, but lovemaking will)
These are just some of the tips I have to offer. If anyone has others they’d like to tac on, please let me know in the comments. I think we could all use a little help getting through the long, cold winter. With the holidays over, it’s just a matter of counting down the days until we can wear bikinis and speedos again. Like the holidays though, those days will come before we know it.
For the record, though, the cold weather will not stop me from sleeping naked. I don’t care how cold it gets or how many blankets I need to pile on top of my bed. I will not give that up.