Tag Archives: 2020

A Note On New Years Resolutions For 2021 (And From 2020)

At the start of every year, I make a brief list of New Years Resolutions that I hope to pursue in the coming months. I know it’s corny, but I believe there’s real value to it. Whether you accomplish them or not, setting goals and trying to improve yourself has real merit. I highly recommend that everyone try it. You don’t even have to call it a New Years Resolution.

In previous years, I’ve mentioned my resolutions. I’ve also talked about why many, including myself, often fail to achieve them. At the beginning of 2020, I went through the same process. I laid out some goals and some general plans I hoped to stick to. I didn’t expect to achieve everything, but I was genuinely hopeful.

Then, 2020 became the 2020 that we all hate and dread.

A once-in-a-generation pandemic hit.

Society and the economy shut down.

People lost friends, loved ones, and their jobs.

On top of that, political rhetoric somehow got worse in an election year.

It was bad. If ever there was a year in which you could be forgiven for overlooking your resolutions, it’s 2020. I think most reasonable people agree. We all need a mulligan on our resolutions from last year. We may even need one for the first part of this year, as the impact of 2020 has already extended into January.

For me, personally, the events of 2020 had a serious impact on the resolutions I laid out. The ones I thought would be simple, such as intensifying my gym workouts, proved to be very difficult when gyms were shut down for four months. While I tried to adapt, running more and doing body weight exercises, I still wouldn’t consider that resolution achieved.

My more ambitious resolutions were a lot harder to adapt. Every year, I make it a point to improve my social skills. That’s one of my major deficiencies and has been since high school. It has been a serious uphill battle over the years, learning to talk to people, make friends, and foster meaningful social connections. I’ve gotten much better since college, but I’m still below average.

Last year set me back again. Naturally, it’s pretty damn hard to work on your social skills when people are social distancing, working from home, or self-isolating due to concerns over illness. It turns out it’s just not easy to be sociable during a global pandemic. Go figure.

Now, that’s not to say I didn’t make an effort. I really did try to adapt. Learning how to use Zoom and getting family members to embrace video chatting really helped. I was able to both maintain and even strengthen the connections I had. When it came to making new ones, though, I was very limited.

As a result, my resolution to make a concerted effort to find girlfriend was effectively shunted. There was just no dating scene during a pandemic. It’s hard to embrace romance when so many people are afraid of kissing, hugging, shaking hands, or just going new places with someone. While online dating tried to adapt, I struggled to keep up.

If nothing else, last year made me realize how lucky other couples were to have that connection through the pandemic. You may be stuck at home, but you’re not alone and you have someone who can keep you grounded when you start to go stir crazy.

I needed that in 2020.

I needed that more than I care to admit.

Hopefully, that motivates me even more to put myself out there and find love later this year. I may ultimately have to wait until next year for things to be normal enough to embrace romantic pursuits, once more. I’m still willing to put in the effort in the meantime. If 2020 taught me anything, it’s that a crisis is much easier to endure when you have someone to endure it with.

Other resolutions, like traveling to certain places and taking an exotic vacation, had to be pushed back for purely pragmatic reasons. Missing out on those resolutions wasn’t too jarring. It’s just a matter of finding the time and making arrangements. That’s relatively easy to do once things settle. It’s the harder resolutions that might take longer.

I still want to make those resolutions for 2021. I also encourage others to do so, even if it just means carrying over every resolution they couldn’t achieve in 2020. That’s perfectly fine. I think most people would understand. Last year was a mess. We all deserve a pass.

At the same time, let’s not overlook the fact that a lost year is still a lost year. None of us are getting any younger. I’m getting to an age where I can’t afford to lose too many years, especially if I want to put myself out there, explore new places, and eventually find love.

So, regardless of how you feel about New Years Resolutions and the scars of 2020, I think it’s wise we all pursue our goals in 2021 with greater urgency. We don’t have to completely make up for all the time we lost in 2021. We should just remember how quickly plans can get derailed by forces beyond our control.

We can face some very tough setbacks over the course of our lives, but we should never stop pursuing meaningful goals.

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The Perfect Love Story For 2020 (Courtesy Of Ryan Reynolds)

I’m a big fan of romance, love stories, and the sexy stuff that comes with it. I hope the novels and sexy short stories that I’ve written have made that abundantly clear. I’m an unapologetic sucker for a good romance, be it cute, cheesy, raunchy, or some combination of the three.

I also don’t deny that 2020 has been a goddamn nightmare. As bad as previous years have been, 2020 has risen the bar for all things awful. This year has caused many people objective pain, loss, and heartbreak. I’m just one of many.

This year has taken such a heavy toll on me personally. It’s taken a far worse toll on many others, especially health care workers and doctors. However, as bad as it has been, there’s still room for a good love story.

Granted, that love story would have to be weird on a whole new level to function in a year like 2020.

Thankfully, that’s why we have people like Ryan Reynolds.

He doesn’t just play a fast-talking anti-hero in skin-tight outfits. He’s done some objectively heroic things in real life. Sometimes, he even supplements that effort with something that just makes us laugh, cry, and cringe all at once.

This latest project is one of them. It’s built around a love story. However, it’s a very twisted love story and one that can only occur in a year like 2020. I wish I could put it into words and do it justice. I am just not a good enough writer.

Just see for yourself. You’ll understand. I promise.

Yes, that was real.

Yes, that was a love story about Satan and the year 2020, in the form of a woman.

Yes, that was every bit as fucked up as you thought it was. It’s also every bit as glorious.

As a fan of romance, as well as someone who appreciates the all-around awfulness of this year, this was just perfect. It’s poetic in its approach, doubling down on the notion that this year has been Hell and taking it to a literal extreme.

At the same time, it shows how love can blossom. Even if you’re the ruler of Hell and the worst year in human history in female form, you can make it work. It’s just a matter of finding that perfect person to connect with. When it happens, it’s a beautiful thing, even when it involves disturbing figures.

The addition of Taylor Swift music just makes it even more effective. As a love story, you can’t get much more genuine and/or disturbing. While a part of me still wants to throw up at the thought of enduring another year like 2020, my romantic side can’t help but take joy in this video.

To Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Swift, and the fine people behind this video, I sincerely thank you. On behalf of romance fans and people who are so sick of 2020, we applaud you. We needed something like this. It’s the only way we’ll continue to live, love, and endure to the next year.

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Thoughts On A (Bittersweet) Black Friday 2020

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

If you did it right, you’re still digesting dinner and desert. I sure am.

However, as fun as it is to enjoy food, family, and football on Thanksgiving, Black Friday has become an extension of sorts for the holiday. For some people, it invites even bolder traditions than Thanksgiving. I’ve known people who will immediately camp outside of major stories almost immediately after Thanksgiving dinner.

I’m not one of them. I prefer enjoying Black Friday shopping on Black Friday. I always have. It’s not that I’m a sucker for sales and excessive consumerism. I just genuinely enjoy the Black Friday shopping experience, from the crowds to the holiday decorations to the various festivities.

I know that makes me weird in the eyes of some. I understand that. Black Friday is one of those events that you either love or hate. You love it because it’s the best shopping time of the season. You hate it because it’s the pinnacle of rampant consumerism. I can appreciate both positions. I still enjoy it.

That’s why this year is so difficult. This is the first year where I won’t partake in any Black Friday shopping sprees of any kind. Thanks to a global pandemic and a massive spike in cases over the past few weeks, pretty much any hope of salvaging this event, even in part, is gone.

For some, it’s no great loss. Not being able to go on a shopping spree in crowded stores probably doesn’t mean much to a lot of people. It means a lot to me.

It’s not just for the shopping part. Like many others, I do most of my Christmas shopping online. I finish nearly 90 percent of my holiday shopping before Black Friday. To me, just getting the gifts I want for my family isn’t the point anymore.

It’s the experience I’ve come to appreciate. That experience is what matters to me. It’s an experience that comes partially from my mother’s fondness of shopping.

She has told me on multiple occasions that her favorite activity with me, when I was a baby, was going shopping at the malls. I feel like I inherited that fondness for the experience from her. It’s one I even shared with my ex-girlfriend years ago. Some of our most memorable moments came while shopping on Black Friday.

Now, it’s just not possible to have any of those moments in a year like this.

It’s not surprising, given the current state of affairs, but it’s still disappointing. It’s yet another indicator that 2020 is a year in which we’ve lost so much. Between major movie releases, major sporting events, and beloved celebrities, the losses just keep accumulating. This is just the latest.

I don’t doubt it’ll come back at some point. Depending on how rapidly we recover from this pandemic, I have a feeling people will be eager to make up for lost experiences next year. I know I will.

Until then, I just want to take a moment to appreciate the past experiences I’ve enjoyed with Black Friday shopping. The experience of just going to malls, being around crowds, and taking part in holiday festivities are some of my favorite aspects of this time of year. I won’t let 2020 ruin my holidays, but I intend to appreciate future Black Fridays even more.

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Remembering (And Learning From) The Cuban Missile Crisis In 2020

I know 2020 has been historically awful.

I know this year will leave an unmistakable scar on countless many for multiple generations.

I know it seems like the world, as we once knew and took for granted, is ending and is never coming back.

I’m living this year-long nightmare with the rest of you. I’m experiencing all the bleak news, life disruptions, and major cancellations. For the rest of my life, no matter how it unfolds, I’ll remember 2020 and how it felt like the world was falling apart. While I don’t deny it will recover, albeit slowly, we will move forward.

At the same time, I think it helps to offer a little perspective. As bad as this year has been and as dire as things seem, you can’t definitively say this is the worst it’s ever been. That’s hyperbole and hyperbole is rarely accurate or helpful. To help make this point, I’d like to remind everyone of a real historical event in which the world almost did actually end.

That event is the Cuban Missile Crisis. It’s also a wholly relevant event because, as of this writing, we’re entering the third week of October. That puts us right within that critical timeframe between October 15th and October 27th, 1962. During those fateful days, the crisis unfolded. You don’t need to be an expert in history to appreciate how close we came to nuclear war.

The specifics of the crisis are well-known. The USSR had shipped missiles with nuclear warheads into communist Cuba. The United States, feeling threatened, demanded those missiles be withdrawn. Tensions ensued. Diplomatic and military preparations were made. Every hour counted. Every decision was critical. One wrong move and millions would die in nuclear hellfire.

At one point, it came down to the decision of a single human being on a Russian sub. His name is Vasili Arkhipov and I’ve mentioned him before. It’s not an exaggeration to say that his decision not to fire nuclear-armed torpedoes in response to depth charges prevented nuclear war. We really were that close. This video nicely explains the situation.

Personally, I probably owe that man my life. My father was just kid at the time, but he, my grandmother, and grandfather lived just outside of Washington DC at the time. To offer some perspective, they were less than a 30-minute drive from National Mall and that’s accounting for traffic.

If nuclear war broke out, it’s a given that DC would be among the first targets hit. Had the missiles started flying, my entire family would’ve been among those millions of dead. I wouldn’t be here and it’s doubtful that most of the people reading this wouldn’t be here. Unlike a deadly pandemic, it wouldn’t have been a natural disease. Our destruction would’ve been our own doing.

It all unfolded in the span of two weeks. Think about that, relative how skewed our concepts of time have become in 2020. In just two weeks in 58 years, we almost destroyed ourselves and our entire civilization. We were that close to the brink, but we got through it.

It was tense. It took some key decisions from men like Vasili Arkhipov, John F. Kennedy, and Nikita Kruzchev to make it through in one peace, but we made it. There were plenty of opportunities to mess up or make the wrong decisions, but we didn’t. That’s why we’re here in 2020, alive and complaining about having to wear a mask in a restaurant.

Take a moment to appreciate that context.

Take another to appreciate how we moved forward from that event.

After the crisis, both sides of the Iron Curtain went to great lengths to avoid a situation like that. The world shrunk in the sense that communication became more critical. Countries and communities needed to communicate with one another to make sure nothing got overlooked, lost in translation, or mistook.

When there are nuclear weapons in play, you literally cannot afford to make mistakes.

Those were hard lessons for everyone. That’s why I have some sliver of hope that the scars from 2020 will teach us similar lessons. This pandemic has shown just how fragile our civilization still is. It also shows that the deadly forces of nature are apolitical. They don’t care about your ideology, race, or beliefs. They’ll hit us just as hard. They’ll hurt us just as much.

Pandemics don’t give a damn about borders. They don’t give a damn about divisions. They’re as chaotic as a nuclear explosion. They’ll burn and scar anything that gets in their path. We can’t negotiate or bullshit our way out of it. The only way we get through it is by cooperation, compassion, and understanding.

It’s been 58 years since the Cuban Missile Crisis. It left scars on a generation, but those scars ensured we worked harder to avoid nuclear war. I sincerely hope that the scars left by this pandemic will teach a new generation how to cooperate and how to get through a global crisis like this.

Those hopes may seem overly ambitious, given how divided we still are. I believe our desire to not live in a world ravaged by disease or nuclear war will motivate us to unite in the long run.

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On My Way To A Wedding!

Today is a very exciting day. This year may have been awful in so many ways for so many people, but that only makes days like this even more precious.

Today, I’m set to attend a wedding for one of my siblings. Out of respect for their privacy, I won’t offer much in terms of details. I’ll just say that I’m very excited for them. They found a wonderful person to spend the rest of their life with and, being the romance lover I am, I’m going to cheer them on.

While a wedding in 2020 has plenty of complications, we’re still going to make this work. That does mean some attendees will have to observe these precious moments via Zoom or FaceTime. It’s not the same as being there, but they can still be part of this.

We’re keeping this wedding simple and sincere. You don’t need a palace, an oversized cake, or hundreds of people throwing rice. You just need friends, family, and two people who love each other enough to get married.

To all those who have braved the horrors of 2020 to share in this moment, I commend you. Love is a beautiful and powerful force. No pandemic can stop it, even in a year like this.

It’s a beautiful thing. I’m excited to be part of it. As one of the lucky few who will be there in person, I intend to make this day as special and as awesome as I can for my family.

Wish me luck, energy, and awesome as I cherish this day with my family!

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Two Monday Night Football Games: Something Awesome From Something Awful In 2020

It’s been a weird year for sports and for horrific reasons. Let’s not overlook that. This year has been horrific in general for reasons I hope I don’t have to belabor. However, it is possible for good things to come out of awful circumstances. That doesn’t make the circumstances any less awful, but a good thing is still a good thing.

For me, a lifelong football fan who builds his Sunday afternoons and Monday nights around watching football, it’s been plenty weird. Watching NFL games in front of empty stadiums has taken some getting used to. All that fake crowd noise isn’t the least bit convincing.

That said, I’ll gladly take this kind of football over no football. At the same time, news about positive COVID-19 tests among NFL teams has me genuinely concerned. It already caused one game to get delayed. It threatened to delay another one. It was scary.

Then, through this horrible thing, something awesome emerged. The marquee matchup between the New England Patriots and the Kansas City Chiefs was postponed to Monday Night. That meant we had what amounted to a double-header last night, starting at 7:00 p.m. EST and going past midnight.

I think I speak for many of my fellow football fans when I say I loved this. I loved it in ways I cannot put into words without the aid of alcohol or spiked coffee.

Yes, I’m tired this morning from staying up so late.

Yes, it’s something that emerged from a bad situation.

Yes, it’s still awesome.

Two Monday Night Football games? A double-header that makes Monday’s less awful and Monday night’s more eventful? Yes, please! This is an objectively wonderful thing and I say let’s have more of it.

Sundays are great and because of NFL RedZone, football fans can plug themselves into every game for hours at a time. It’s wonderful and has made football such an engaging, day-long experience.

However, there are times in the season when there are as many as 9 or 10 games going at once at 1:00 p.m. in my time zone. Even with RedZone, it’s hard to keep up with. Some of those games deserve to be prime time games. Some of those teams would benefit from a little prime time exposure. I say this is the perfect way to do it.

Monday Night Football is already a ratings bonanza for everyone involved, regardless of how awful this year has been. Adding another game to that mix can only help add to the boon. I hope last night was a proving ground of sorts. There is room for two games on Monday night.

To the NFL, please use this as a sign. Turn this objectively terrible situation into something awesome. Football fans will thank you for years to come.

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The 2020 MLB Baseball Playoffs: Why We Should Keep This Format

I know I don’t talk about baseball that much. Please don’t misconstrue that as me saying I don’t care for it. I love baseball as much as any guy who grew up playing catch with his dad in the back yard. Some of my fondest memories are of watching ball games with my dad and eating peanuts.

While I tend to get more excited about football, I still enjoy a beer and a ball game. However, there are some other reasons why I don’t get as excited about baseball as I do with football.

Some of that has to do with the duration of the season and how often it seems certain teams clinch their playoff spots weeks ahead of time. Most of it has to do with the playoff format, itself. That’s the one part of Major League Baseball that I’ve always had a problem with.

Compared to other sports, baseball has always been much more limited in terms of which teams make the playoffs and how those games are structured. For me, the playoffs never got exciting until the ALCS and the NLCS. That’s usually when the drama happens. The divisional rounds before it are just too forgettable.

Then, two things happened. First, the pandemic struck and truncated the baseball season considerably and the MLB expanded the playoffs. Now, instead of just a handful of teams having a shot at the World Series, the playoffs is more a tournament with 16 teams.

This is what it looked like, just after the wild card rounds wrapped up.

Now, I know baseball is famous for having staunch traditionalists, but after following the wild card rounds, I have to say this.

The MLB should totally keep this format or, at the very least, keep most of it.

I love this new format. It really made the MLB playoffs feel exciting again. For once, I didn’t have to wait until the championship rounds to see some drama. As bad as 2020 has been for sports, this new tournament format might be the best thing that came out of it.

This new setup gives struggling teams a reason to keep playing in the regular season, even when they get into a skid. With this expanded format, there are more spots to fight for. The dominant teams will still get their spot, but now there are new opportunities for teams to sneak in and make an impact.

In baseball, that’s a big deal. I’ve been watching baseball long enough to know that any team can get hot at just the right time. Last year was a perfect example of it. The 2019 Washington Nationals are a perfect example of this. They had to get into the playoffs as a wild card team and go through heavyweights like the Dodgers en route to their first World Series title.

It can happen in baseball. Great teams can just have a bad day at the park or several. A wild card team can get hot and take that momentum to a championship. The Nationals sent a message to every team in the wild card round this year that it can happen to them, too.

Beyond the opportunity, it’s just more exciting. I know last year had a single-game elimination wild card, but I found that to be somewhat underwhelming. Like I said, any team can have a bad day at the ball park. Sometimes, quality teams just falter on a particular day. That sometimes means the lucky team wins instead of the better team.

I think a three-game playoff series fits perfectly. It helps ensure a team can win or lose on a single fluke. It also gives a team that falters in one game to make up for it the next. It’s a better way of determining who’s the better team in the long run.

Like the NCAA basketball tournament, more teams means more opportunities for a team to go on a historic run or land a historic upset. In a league that is legendary for having top-heavy teams who try to buy their way into a World Series, this can only help the sport.

Now, I know 2020 is a crazy year that has done lasting damage to the sports world. I don’t doubt that professional leagues are eager to go back to the way things were before the pandemic ruined so much.

However, I sincerely hope that Major League Baseball retains this new format for the postseason. I think it’ll do a lot of good for baseball and the sports world, in general. I know there are some logistical issues and I’m sure the players union will want to get their say. I believe there’s a way to do it and ensure everyone benefits.

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RIP Chadwick Boseman: A True King For Our Time

Sometimes, just when you think things can’t get possibly worse, the universe finds a way to hit you in a way that reminds you otherwise. This year has been awful by so many measures. Between global pandemics and ugly politics, it really felt like 2020 couldn’t get more agonizing.

Then, we lost Chadwick Boseman.

Of all the good, pure, loving souls this year could’ve taken, this one definitely hurts. This hurts in ways that words just cannot properly articulate. I say that not just as a lifelong fan of Marvel and Marvel superhero movies or as someone who cheered the success of “Black Panther.” I say that as someone who respected the man since he showed his heart and acting talents as Jackie Robinson in “42.”

I’ll say it again. This hurts. When I saw this report, I didn’t want to believe it. I thought it had to be a mistake or some elaborate troll job. Sadly, it wasn’t. When the official announcement came down, I was in genuine shock.

I’m honestly at a loss for words here. Not since the death of Stan Lee have I been in such utter disbelief. I’d been bracing for Stan’s passing, given his advanced age. I never imagined that someone like Chadwick Boseman, a man of only 43 who seemed to have a bright career ahead of him, passing away. The fact he was able to keep working as he fought cancer is a further testament to his greatness.

For someone like Boseman, who set himself apart as such a paragon of how great Hollywood could be, it just isn’t fair. Absolutely nothing about this is fair. This man brought to life a character who resonated with millions. He rose to stardom for all the right reasons, making all the right choices, even as his own body failed him.

His loss will be felt for generations to come. Someone like Chadwick Boseman doesn’t come around often. At a time when Hollywood seems to be lacking in respectable role models, losing Boseman stings even more. I don’t know what else I can say, other than he will be missed a great deal. The world is an objectively worse place without him.

At the risk of ending this video on too much of a downer, here’s a clip of my favorite moment from Boseman. Now that he’s gone, these moments are all the more precious.

Wakanda forever!

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Happy 4th Of July!

To my fellow Americans, but current and aspiring, I wish you a very Happy 4th of July.

I promise there’s no cynicism in that sentiment. I also acknowledge that 2020 has been one of the most trying years in the history of the United States in over a century. It has certainly been one of the toughest years I’ve been through in my lifetime. As much a patriot as I am, I don’t deny that this year has brought out the best and worst aspects of America.

However, as hard as it might be to maintain some level of optimism, I remain proud of my country. I’m proud to be an American. I also intend to celebrate this day in whatever way I can. There may be no cookouts or large gatherings, but you don’t need those things to appreciate America. I encourage all other proud Americans to do the same.

Find a way to celebrate your country.

Find a way to celebrate freedom, liberty, and equality for all.

Find a way to cherish the ideals of what America represents, even in times of crisis.

Tough times make tough people. Tough Americans make a tougher country. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us. For now, let’s celebrate how far we’ve come.

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My Graduation Speech For The Class Of 2020

G4

This week was a major milestone for a large cohort of young people. For once, it didn’t involve something overly depressing that made major headlines for all the wrong reasons. That, alone, is something to celebrate.

For many kids, both in high school and in college, this week marked the last week of classes. For the Class of 2020, this was the finish line for a journey that took some serious detours over the past several months. We all know why that is. Let’s not focus on that.

Regardless of the situation, graduation is a big deal. It’s a huge achievement for a young person. They made it through the arduous metamorphosis that is puberty and adolescence. They endured the frustrating rigor that is high school and/or college. Now, they’re ready to take a step forward with their lives.

Granted, they’re taking that step at the worst possible time. I can’t think of too many ways it could be harder for them, but that’s exactly why they deserve a little something extra. As such, I made a brief video. Think of it as my commencement speech to the Class of 2020. Many other celebrities are giving them. I’m not a celebrity and never will be, but I’d like to add my voice to that.

To the Class of 2020, this is for you. Enjoy!

 

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