What a game, eh? The Super Bowl is over. Congrats to the New England Patriots and Gisele Bunchen’s husband for winning, crafting the greatest comeback in Super Bowl History. Now, the NFL season is over.
As a lifelong football fan, it’s a momentous, yet bittersweet moment. A champion has been crowned. A season has ended. For NFL fans and football fans in general, it’s the end of a beginning and the beginning of an end.
I hope everyone enjoyed the game. I certainly did. How could I not? Between the snacks, the beer, and the Lady Gaga halftime show, I achieved the true sport nirvana. As a man, it’s an amazing feeling. I won’t say it’s as good as sex. I’ll just say it’s a damn close second.
As such, today is a day of recovery. I am in no condition, physically or mentally, to discuss any overly sexy topics. Hell, even unsexy topics would be pushing it. Right now, I’m just letting my mind and body recover. I encourage everyone to do the same.
Don’t worry. I’ll be back to discussing exceedingly sexy topics soon enough. For now, get some rest, settle in for the off-season, and enjoy the post-Super Bowl afterglow. We’ve earned it.
Got a quick, but exciting announcement to make. Late last week, I got an email from my publisher on the status of “Passion Relapse.” Apparently, things are moving quickly with this book. Nobody’s beating around the bush. Those involved seem eager to get to the foreplay and, as I’ve made clear in the past, I’m very much in favor of foreplay.
In the email I got, I also received what my editor said was the last round of edits. She had circulated my manuscript around multiple editors within the publisher. They each had their go at it, sifting through every word and giving it some added polish. Again, I’m totally in favor of this. More polish means more sex appeal and that’s how this book is going to succeed.
Then, I got a chance to go over it one last time and review the edits. From what I’ve been told, this is the home stretch. This is the final round. This is the two-minute warning in a football game. After this, the train can leave the station and “Passion Relapse” can get to work warming the hearts and panties of the masses.
Naturally, I gave this manuscript the utmost priority over the weekend. I basically ceased work on all my other projects so I could give this manuscript the energy it deserves. This is my first real novel that’s going to be published by an actual publisher. For an aspiring writer whose success at this point has been a handful of brief Amazon reviews, that’s a big deal.
Late last night, I finished. Then, I submitted it back to my editor, who verified that she got it and was ready to proceed with the next step. This being my first real novel, I’m not entirely sure what that step entails. I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to make any last-second changes or have any further input. At this point, I’m okay with that.
I’ve basically done all I can with “Passion Relapse.” The rest of this process is out of my hands. This is a whole different game compared to the self-publishing I’ve done with my other books. While I’m not expecting this book to be the kind of booming success that’ll put me on a first-name basis with Stephen King, I do hope it is a step. I’m sure it’s the first of many, but it’s a step I’m eager to take.
Just thought I’d make a quick announcement today, one that I hope bodes well for the future of this blog. Since I started posting regularly again last year, I’ve been contemplating its future and purpose. I’ve found that the more I write here, the more I want to write. It’s one of those brutal cycles that doesn’t destroy your liver or lungs.
With that in mind, I decided to invest a little more into making this blog more official and not something that a burned out college student works on in between exams. I’ve taken my own money, which is limited mind you, and purchased and upgraded plan from WordPress on this blog. In conjunction with this upgrade, I also got a free domain name to go with it.
This, I hope, will add more legitimacy to this blog, especially after my books “Embers of Eros” and “Passion Relapse” come out. If I’m going to be a real published author, it’s important that I present myself in a way that looks like I give a damn. Having a domain name and a more polished blog is just one of the ways I hope to do that.
As of now, my new web address for this blog is as follows:
So please take the time to update your bookmarks and browsing history accordingly. This site will now be the new hub for me and my publishing efforts, be they book announcements or my “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.”
I also intend to keep upgrading this blog in whatever way I can. That may mean tweaking the design and format, but I still haven’t decided yet. Right now, I’m focusing more on the ongoing projects I have at the moment, as well as the one I intend to start next. I’m not short on sexy ideas for sexy stories so I expect to be busy throughout 2017. I hope having a more polished blog will help.
There are a lot of ways to kill a mood, be it sexy or otherwise. With the holidays drawing to a close, you have fewer and fewer reasons to be cheerful and upbeat. Plus, you have fewer excuses to wear ugly Christmas sweaters and Santa hats. I’ve yet to spend a day wearing either of those and not come home in a good mood.
For some, there are certain things that’ll kill a mood faster than anything that doesn’t involve projectile vomit, hangovers, and sick puppies. I certainly have my share of those things. Some of those things involve experiences that make me want to take a hammer to the nearest Home Depot and smash all the windows in frustration.
I say all this as a preface because as I write this, I am so goddamn burned out that I just want to sleep for the next three days. Why am I so burned out? Well, there’s a damn good reason for it.
As I announced before, I spent a good chunk of my Christmas at the Jersey Shore with family. It’s a tradition of sorts and a damn good one. I had a great time with friends and family. We had every kind of holiday fun you can have with your pants on. That part of the experience wasn’t the problem.
The problem came yesterday when I drove back home. Now usually, a drive to and from the Jersey Shore is about three-and-a-half hours, depending on weather and traffic. That’s about how long it took to get up there. On the way back though, it was a very different story.
There was so…much…traffic. Like a post-Christmas hangover, minus the fun of being drunk, it hit me like sleigh full of cinder-blocks and baseball bats. It turned what is usually a fairly scenic and uneventful drive into a six-and-a-half hour case-study in break lights. There aren’t many better ways to kill a mood and wound your spirit in a way that doesn’t involve solitary confinement or slow wi-fi speeds. This did way too good a job of that.
Now I know there are plenty of traffic horror stories out there. I’m sure there are those who can handle a six-and-a-half hour drive the same way most people handle a hangnail. For me, however, it left me restless, moody, and badly in need of an extra day of rest. I tried to go to bed early last night. It didn’t work. For reasons that make me think that one too many people cussed me out on the road, I was just too damn restless.
So I guess this counts as a day of recovery. I did plan on doing some extra writing, reading some comics, and enjoying what’s left of my holiday vacation. I’m going to have to revise those plans. I’m also going to need to find better ways of dealing with traffic.
If anybody out there has any tips that makes the recovery easier, I’d love to hear them. I’d also love to hear how the hell you’re supposed to sleep when you’re more restless than a rabbit on crack. I’m going to try comics, hot chocolate, and whiskey. That’s all I have on hand, but if anyone has any other tips, please share. Today must be a day of rest. Then, I can go back to talking about sexier, less stressful topics.
On behalf of little old me, Jack Fisher, an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I wish everyone everywhere a very Merry Christmas, a very Happy Holidays, and a very sexy New Years.
It’s been an eventful year for me as an aspiring writer. I finished several manuscripts. One of them got picked up by a publisher. One is still pending. I’ve got plenty of ideas to explore in 2017 and plenty more sexy stories to tell. For now, I hope everyone takes the time to settle down, open some presents, drink some eggnog, and spend time with family.
It’s also not too late to make it sexy with my special holiday book, “Holiday Heat.” What’s the holidays without a little sex appeal? I ask because it’s a question most don’t dare to ask. Well, I dare.
My weekly sexy Sunday thoughts will be back in 2017. Until then, have a great holiday!
The more I read and write about love, sex, and the elaborate hoops we jump through in order to get them, the more I notice something frustratingly profound. When it comes to love and sex, there is no normal. There is no true tradition. There is only the ever-evolving, constantly-adapting dynamics between lovers, love interests, and fuck buddies alike.
In each case, there are elements of what some people, namely those who watch too much Fox News, would call “non-traditional” behavior. Whether it’s in love or sex, these people and the mentality they embody represent a standard set of assumptions that we in the Western world cling to, despite any evidence or anecdote to the contrary. They cling to it so hard that it can openly conflict with the very nature that makes us human.
The assumptions here involve our standard perceptions of sex and romance. Some call it the “standard model” and since I’ve used that term before, that’s the term I’ll keep using until someone comes up with something better/sexier. We all know about these assumptions to some degree. It goes like this:
Boy meets girl
Girl meets boy
Boy and girl fall in love
Boy and girl get permission from religion and government to legally have sex
Boy and girl move into together, start having babies, and become upstanding members of society
Boy and girl constantly struggle to avoid the urge to cheat one another with more exciting sex acts
Boy and girl do what they can to abide by societies expectations about how a married couple and family should behave
These assumptions are a big part of the narrative in “Sex At Dawn,” a book that continues to intrigue/arouse me with each chapter. In one of the early chapters, this book makes a keen observation that even my dirty mind missed. It’s an observation that’s so painfully obvious that you really do wonder if psychic lizard people are controlling our thoughts to make us think such crazy things.
If this traditional model of sex and romance is so natural, as many traditionalists claim, then why does it need all these elaborate legal, religious, and social institutions to reinforce it. If it’s so natural, then those protections wouldn’t be necessary, would it?
Think about it. There’s no need for a thought experiment this time. Look at all the elaborate tactics that religion, government, and society uses to preserve and reinforce the traditional model of romance and sex.
This says nothing about the draconian extremes that religion went to in preserving this standard model of romance and sexuality. For some, just having laws, TV shows, and legal benefits wasn’t enough. Entire religions had to make this standard model of sex and romance a matter of spiritual importance. To go against it would be to go against an all-powerful deity that doesn’t want you using your genitals in a certain way.
Combine all that together and you start to see an odd pattern. This institution that’s supposed to be so “natural” needs all these elaborate traditions to protect it. It’s almost as if these traditions are not at all conducive to mankind’s natural inclinations for love and sex. If I could say that with any more sarcasm, I would.
Now some will claim that these traditions are necessary because mankind is naturally rebellious and immoral. Hell, that claim is the basis for no less than three major religions in this world. However, if you think about it just a little bit more than any priest or mullah ever dared, you should be able to see the flaws in that logic.
Take a moment to channel your inner Mother Nature. Pretend for a moment you’re programming a successful species from scratch. Why the hell would you install a program that makes the species rebellious and deviant? You want them to survive and reproduce, right? Making them rebellious just means you’re giving them a mechanism to defy the very goals you established in the first place.
That’s not to say that some people don’t have faulty wiring in their brains and their biology. Some really are naturally deviant, rebellious, and arrogant to a point where they get their own reality show on Fox. Those individuals are a byproduct of the diversity that every species have, daring to venture into uncharted territories to pave the way for others. They’re supposed to be the exception and not the norm.
What the assumptions surrounding the standard model of romance and sex do is invert that dynamic. It creates the impression that the norm is the exception. All those powerful mechanisms that urge us to love, hump, and cooperate in ways that make Catholic Bishops cry at night are scolded and shamed. The only way to subvert them is to create entire traditions and cultures that warp peoples’ mind into believing these assumptions.
It is a romantic paradox in many respects. We claim this standard model of romance that is the basis of so many Shakespeare plays and boy band songs is natural, but it still needs all these protections and traditions to propagate.
It’s enough to make you wonder what will happen as these traditions and assumptions fade. It’s another interesting thought experiment, but one I’ll have to hold off on until I finish “Sex At Dawn” in its entirety.
It’s already giving me many interesting ideas for the kinds of sexy love stories that may fly in the face of everything Stephanie Meyer ever wrote, but these are ideas worth exploring. When our love lives and our sex lives are involved, the stakes are pretty damn high. If my erotica/romance novels can flesh out those ideas, then that’s a worthy endeavor if ever there was one.
Say what you will about 2016 (and let’s face it, there’s a lot to say, for better and for worse), it was a damn good year for Deadpool and actor, Ryan Reynolds. In a year where superheroes couldn’t stopfighting each other for reasons that involved overly elaborate plans from woefully underdeveloped villains, Deadpool stands out.
The success of the Deadpool movie continues to be one of those pleasant surprises that caught everyone by surprise. It’s a movie that Fox fought tooth and nail not to make. Even when they did, they only gave it a paltry (by Hollywood standards) $53 million budget. Despite this, it went onto gross $782 million worldwide, eclipsing the totals of every X-men movie to date.
Well, Deadpool actor and former Mr. Scarlett Johansson, Ryan Reynolds, has an idea. It can best be summed up in two simple worlds that make straight women and gay men alike feel all sorts of wonderful feelings in their pants: Hugh Jackman.
Yes, Ryan Reynolds knows what turns women on and what makes X-men fans want to dance naked in the streets. When it comes to ass-kicking manliness mixed with an all-around awesome human being, Hugh Jackman checks all the boxes.
He’s also the man responsible for bringing Wolverine to life in the X-men movies. In fact, Hugh Jackman has been playing Wolverine for 17 years now. In that time, we’ve had two actors play Batman, two actors play Superman, and two actors play James Bond. In terms of consistency, dedication, and sex appeal, Hugh Jackman checks all those boxes as well.
That begs a question though. Why is Ryan Reynolds’ legion of internet followers necessary in the first place? I just said that Hugh Jackman has been playing Wolverine for 17 years now, donning his claws in some form or another in over a half-dozen movies, some of which went onto become big-time blockbusters.
It’s not like there isn’t precedent for it in the comics. Wolverine and Deadpool have quite a history together. In the comics, they both have a similar background in that they’re from Canada and they both endured the Weapon X program that gave them some of their abilities. These two do know each other in the comics, but often clash in ways that are both obscenely violent and wonderfully entertaining.
There’s so much to work with here. One character is an angry, gritty, badass death machine who lusts after married women and has the manliest chest hair in the history of comics. The other is a wise-cracking, fourth wall breaking, trigger-happy goofball. It’s quite possibly the ultimate buddy cop movie.
So what’s keeping us, the comic book fans and those who want to see Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds naked, from seeing such a glorious movie? Well, it has to do with Hugh Jackman’s current schedule. He’s gone on record as saying that his next movie, Logan, will be his last Wolverine movie ever.
Now to be fair, the trailer to this movie is pretty damn awesome. Like the Deadpool movie, it’s R-rated so that means there’s a chance the blood won’t look like expired ketchup and we may actually see some tits, two things that Wolverine movies have been missing for the past 16 years.
If this movie is as awesome as it looks (and that’s never a guarantee because trailers are notoriously misleading), then it would help Jackman go out on top with Wolverine. Given his age and the sheer breadth of the success he’s had, nobody could possibly blame him.
Even so, the idea that he’d hang up his claws before he joined Ryan Reynolds in a Wolverine/Deadpool movie just feels wrong. It’s too great an opportunity to waste, both for the characters and the two actors involved, whose dedication to their characters is beyond reproach.
So while I will still respect Jackman’s decision, whatever it may be, I do think this is a cause the internet should take up. The internet rallies behind cat videos, bad Kickstarter projects, and misguided boycotts. Why can’t it rally around this?
In case you need any more incentive, let me give the ladies and the gay men out there a little reminder. This is what Hugh Jackman looks like:
Look at that picture for a moment. Take a few deep breaths. Make sure you’re wearing clean pants. Then, take a moment to remember what Ryan Reynolds looks like.
With these images in mind, and presumably after changing your underwear, take a moment to assess the possibilities here. Think about what an R-rated Wolverine and Deadpool movie starring Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds would bring to the table.
I know. That’s a lot of sex appeal for just one movie. Hopefully, you don’t need more convincing after this. So if you can, respond to Ryan Reynolds’ call to action! Convince Hugh Jackman to co-star in a Deadpool movie! The world deserves/needs that kind of sex appeal right now.
A big part of being a romance/erotica writer often involves reading about romance/erotica in general. I know that sounds like common sense, right up there with mechanics driving cars to learn more about cars, but it’s not as common as you might think.
Now I confess that when I began writing years ago, I didn’t do much reading. I didn’t enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Trust me, it showed in some of my early work. Some of those pieces (which I hope never see the light of day) made it painfully obvious that didn’t read as much as I should on the subject.
As I’ve gotten older and refined my skill, I’ve done more and more reading. I don’t just read about erotica/romance. I try to read a bit of everything to get a feel for what it means to tell a story. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a 500-page novel or a 22-page comic like X-men. They still have lessons to tell.
At the moment, I’m reading a book called “Sex At Dawn” by Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha, Allyson Johnson, and Jonathan Davis. Now this isn’t a standard romance/erotica story like “Skin Deep” or “Jackpot.” This is a non-fiction book that explores the hidden side of human sexuality, scrutinizing our assumptions about romance, sex, and the social norms guiding these forces.
It’s interesting to me because it gives me some insight into the lesser known aspects of romance/erotica. There are so many stories that try to fit the romance and erotic components into the same framework we, as a society, have always embraced without question. I’ve found it’s more interesting to step outside that framework every now and then.
Now I’ve just started this book so I can’t give my whole assessment just yet. However, the first two chapters do highlight an important component that’s worth bringing up. The authors call it “The Standard Model” of romance. That model goes a little something like this:
Boy meets girl
Boy assesses girl for health, beauty, fidelity, and an ability to sire healthy offspring
Girl assesses boy for wealth, strength, ability to provide, ability to protect offspring, and a capacity to remain faithful and not stray
Boy and girl pass assessment, enter into a series of formal and informal agreements to love, cohabit, and provide for one another
Boy and girl enjoy early passion, begin a family, and grow together
Boy and girl start to lose interest as passion fades, becoming less sexually satisfied even if love remains strong
Boy begins looking elsewhere for other young, fertile women
Girl begins looking elsewhere for young, virile men
Constant struggle endures, straining relationship
I agree that this model is grossly oversimplified and somewhat formulaic. I don’t doubt that there are plenty of romances, real and fictional, that don’t follow this model closely. However, it’s a model that accurately reflects the ideals and principles that modern society has ascribed to romance and sex.
This book, however, dares to question whether these ideals and principles are actually viable. It also dares to question whether these ideals and principles are even natural to the human condition.
In addition to the inspiration, I also think that our assumptions surrounding this model need greater scrutiny, if only to better-prepare ourselves for meaningful romance. At the moment, the model doesn’t exactly have a stellar record.
In most of the industrialized world, divorce rates are over 50 percent. If a model isn’t working more than half the time, then that’s a clear sign that it needs tweaking. If a car broke down more than half the time, why would anyone drive it? Humans are great at building tools, but when it comes to updating the ways in which we love and make love, our ability to adapt is nothing short of glacial.
The Standard Model is outdated. That’s the primary message that “Sex At Dawn” sends during the first few chapters. It wasn’t adapted for modern, secular society. It emerged 10,000 years ago as a direct result of mankind’s transition from hunter/gatherer societies to sedentary/farming societies.
For the fast majority of human history, people lived on farms and toiled in the fields. That kind of work is less and less necessary these days, due in large part to industrialization and better technology. The Standard Model worked perfectly for that system because it meant keeping women focused on child-rearing while men did most of the work to provide food/safety. That system just doesn’t work as well in our current system of cities, cars, and Big Macs.
So if that system doesn’t work as well anymore, what do we do? Which system does work in a modern society where few people toil on farms and fields? That’s not a rhetorical question. That’s a real, honest question that is worth asking. It hasn’t been answered yet and I feel not enough people are daring to ask it.
I get that there are still those in society who wish to cling to the older ways, seeing the Standard Model as something traditional, moral, and ethical. That’s all well and good, but that’s basically the same as an opinion. It’s as valid as random tweet these days. We’re too diverse and erratic as a species. One model is simply never going to be enough to accommodate the needs and passions of every individual.
Every species, be it human or insect, needs to adapt their systems to a changing environment. The environment for humans is changing so rapidly that some refuse to even acknowledge that change, as if they’re worried about what it implies. There aren’t many constants to human systems, but the desire to love and make love is one of them.
For the sake of our future and that of our descendants, we need to adapt a system that will meet those desires. If we don’t, we’re all in for a cold, lonely, unfulfilled tomorrow. I’m not nearly equipped to create such a system, but I can offer some interesting/sexy ideas with my novels.
This is going to be another one of those dead serious posts. I promise I’ll get back to talking about things like sleeping naked, sex robots, and sex-positive superheroes. Believe me, I have plenty to discuss and I have a hard time turning my sexy imagination off. For today though, I need to be serious.
Today is a very important day. It’s Veterans Day, the day we in America take the time to appreciate all the men and women who have served in the armed forces. Say what you will about America’s foreign policy, military industrial complex, and bad Michael Bay movies, but these men and women are a special breed.
It takes a lot for a human being to sacrifice life, limb, and family for their country. It takes even more to venture into a war zone far from home, fighting enemies that are every bit as human as they are. It can be heart-wrenching, gut-wrenching, and everything in between for them and their families.
They still do it though. They still rise to the occasion to serve their country and protect their fellow citizens. Their sacrifice is one we should appreciate every day and not just one holiday out of the year, but if ever there was something worth creating a holiday over, it’s this.
Many of us know someone who served in the military. My own family actually has quite a few. I have relatives who served in the army and the marines. Some even fought in Vietnam. I even have a grandfather who fought in World War II. They served their country. Then, they came back and served their families. I can’t think of a higher calling than that.
Along with this calling, there are also issues with veterans that need to be addressed. According to the National Alliance to End Homelessness, there were nearly 50,000 homeless veterans in 2014. Many of those homeless veterans have physical and mental disabilities. Many are also minorities. This kind of hardship is unacceptable for those who serve.
If you want to help a veteran on this day, I encourage everyone to donate to the Wounded Warriors Project. Show your support. Help a veteran in need. Show them the love and appreciation they both deserve and earned for serving their country.
So on behalf of the twisted mind that is Jack Fisher, I wish everyone a happy Veterans Day. To all the veterans out there, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. In case you need something to lift your spirits on this hallowed day, I give you this video that should help warm your heart.
This is a quick message to all my fellow Americans out there. If you’re living in another country with good internet access at the moment, take a break and count your blessings. I think we can all agree that there are a lot of Americans right now who need a hug, a kiss, and maybe a bottle of hard liquor.
These are scary times, I know. The day after an election has never been this scary before. There are people out there who genuinely fear for their lives, their safety, and their livelihoods. I understand that. Some scary things are happening right now and at the risk of belaboring those things, I’m not going to repeat them. I’ll just say this.
Be calm
Be strong
Relax
The human race has endured its share of dark, dire times. We’ve endured horrific catastrophes that sent our species to the brink of extinction. We’ve fought world wars, major economic depressions, and the collapse of civilizations. We, the human race, have found a way to endure. We’re strong. We’re resilient. We also are very good at making love and making babies to make up for our lost numbers.
With all that in mind, I implore you to take a step back, take a deep breath, and look forward. There’s only so much we can control in this world. The best we can do is keep moving forward and contributing in our own way.
I can’t do much other than tell sexy, romantic stories with my novels. I intend to keep doing that for the foreseeable future. I have so many stories to tell and I look forward to sharing them with a world that really needs to get laid more.
Beyond that, I intend to keep moving forward. For those of you who may find that difficult, I give to you the best possible medicine for fear and dread: funny animal videos. Enjoy!
Jack Fisher's Official Publishing Blog 