Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Yardwork Edition

Growing up, I hated yardwork. My parents know this all too well. I’m sure they haven’t forgotten how much I complained about it, as a kid. As I got older, I didn’t grow to like it. However, I did come to respect and understand it a lot more. I even saw some hints of sex appeal behind it.

Let’s face it. There wouldn’t be so many pornos involving gardeners and pool cleaners if there wasn’t some amount of sex appeal at work.

Regardless of how you feel about that kind of porn scenario, the appeal is worth breaking down. We are getting into the middle of spring right now. The weather is warming up. The trees and flowers are blooming. Most people who have gardens or lawns are starting to tend to them. If you want your home to look good, you have to put in the work.

That’s where I think the bulk of the sex appeal comes from. Yardwork is an extension of maintaining the home you’ve built. By putting work into your living space, you show a number of key traits. Most notably, you demonstrate that you’re willing to work hard in hot, muggy weather and you value adding beauty to the world.

Those are all traits that are attractive in many respects. You’re out in the sun, working hard, getting your hands dirty, and building up a sweat. There are people who find that attractive. The sweaty musk alone is enough for some people.

Now that I own a place of my own, I certainly appreciate the work that goes into it. I hope to one day find someone who sees the sex appeal in that work, as well. In the meantime, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts for all those who value yardwork, as well as those who find it sexy. Enjoy!

“Beautiful women will never truly know, or be comfortable with, how many awkward boners they’ve caused.”

“Any man who gets remarried after an ugly divorce is a masochist by default.”

“Behind every awkward teenager is a bitter realization of how hard it is to get laid.”

“If real psychics existed, then most of them would die of nausea for being able to read peoples’ most depraved thoughts.”

“Is it really fair that a woman’s feet tend to have more sex appeal than a man’s balls?”

“By definition, you can’t be a slut with high standards.”

“Dick jokes will always be funnier than vagina jokes because dicks can literally be in funnier situations.”

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