I have a confession to make. I worry that it may make some think less of me and for a man who often talks about sex robots and sleeping naked, that’s saying something. However, for the sake of entertaining my readers and being wholly transparent, I’ll make it anyways.
I love pumpkin spice lattes.
There, I said it. The secret is out. I, Jack Fisher, love pumpkin spice and all the seasonal delights that comes with it. Call it a quirk. Call it shameless adherence to marketing trends. I don’t care. I know it has become cool in recent years to make fun of them, but that doesn’t make them any less delicious.
It’s the middle of October. There are a lot of pumpkin-themed gimmicks going around. Sure, some of it is bland marketing, but why is that a bad thing? If it looks festive, smells good, and tastes good, why not enjoy it? I certainly do. As I write this, I have a pumpkin spice latte right in front of me and I will not apologize for it.
Whether you love them or hate them, pumpkin spice is here to help us usher in the fall. It’ll likely remain until we’re too bloated from Thanksgiving dinner to care. Until that time, though, I’ll be enjoying them as much as I can. As such, I dedicate this week’s edition of “Sexy Sunday Thoughts” to all things pumpkin spice. I hope it’s equally delicious.
“The sexually repressed who love to slut shame others are the radical vegans of sex.”
“A man who goes shopping with his wife to buy something other than sexy lingerie isn’t whipped. He’s in love.”
“If women graded men’s performance during sex, then a lot more would be inclined to study in anticipation of exams and pop quizzes.”
“Celibacy isn’t the same as anorexia in that it won’t kill you, but you’ll be less inclined to care that you’re dying.”
“Sex within a successful marriage is like re-watching your favorite movie. Sex within an unsuccessful marriage is like only eating leftovers.”
“The extent of someone’s horniness is directly proportional to their willingness to use their tongue.”
“When you think about it, doing something with your lover that kills the mood is the same as doing something with your computer that causes the screen to freeze.”
While I don’t doubt I’ll keep getting crap for my love of all things pumpkin spice, I still intend to enjoy it as much as I can. Like Christmas turkey, 4th of July barbecue, or bikinis in summer, it’s a seasonal treat worth appreciating. Like finding a wad of cash in your jacket or getting an extra lap dance, who doesn’t enjoy a rare treat?