Tag Archives: sexuality

January 14, 2017 · 7:57 am

An Interesting Debate I Had With Someone (On Abortion)

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned time and again that there are few greater wastes than arguing with people on the internet. It’s right up there with spitting in a lake to refill it. Nobody ever changed their minds about anything because they argued about it with someone on a message board. That’s just an inescapable fact.

So why do we do it? Why do we have these online debates that are about as formal as meth-fueled orgy? There are many answers to that question. Not all of those answers are entirely misguided either.

People want to connect with each other. People want to share their views with the world, no matter what they are or how crazy they may be. Look up discussions of lizard shape-shifters to see what I mean. There’s nothing inherently wrong with sharing such views. So long as nobody raises the flags of the NSA, it’s one of those wastes that can help us with the basic human need to connect.

Being an erotica/romance writer, I’m all for activities that help us meet our basic needs. However, I’ve learned from experience that it’s not a good idea to have too many debates with folks online. I was once the kind of guy who spent hours crafting elaborate, detailed posts, complete with citations and footnotes, to prove my point. I’m pretty sure I put some grad students to shame.

I put in a lot of effort to make my arguments. I really did think I would stump, confound, or convince other commenters that I was right. In the end, that effort might have been better spent trying to find new ways to deep fry donuts. It took me way too long to realize that people don’t change their minds based on what online debates. They only ever change their mind when there’s a damn good incentive.

Until the day comes when saying something stupid online earns you a painful shock to the spine, nobody should debate anyone online with the expectation that you’ll change someone’s view. That’s not to say it’s a complete waste of time. If you set reasonable expectations and focus on less divisive issues, then you can have real, honest conversations with people.

This brings me to abortion. I’ll give everyone a second or two to unclench their assholes. Bear with me. That’s not a complete non-sequiter. When it comes to my least favorite topics to discuss, abortion is right up there with explosive diarrhea. I’m a man. I don’t have babies. I can’t get an abortion. I bring absolutely nothing to this conversation and, as a principle, I generally avoid it.

That said, I did end up having an insightful conversation with someone online, which was related to abortion. It occurred on a site called Townhall.com, which is basically the complete antithesis of the Huffington Post. If you have any kind of liberal or moderate inclinations of any kind, expect the content on this site to piss you off.

I go to it because I find it helpful and insightful to visit sites that present views you don’t agree with. Townhall offers that in abundance. The rhetoric here can be downright venomous at times and not just because Ann Coulter writes regular columns. Some of the commenters on this site would make Nixon himself look like a hippie.

Naturally, that means you’ll find a lot of pro-life, anti-abortion discussions here. You’ll also get no fewer than 20 Nazi references when discussing it. As a general principle, and in respect to those with a weak stomach, I try to avoid these discussions. However, one discussion in particular revealed something that’s worth sharing.

In a column I won’t cite, just because I don’t want to give the writer more exposure than he deserves, I got into a discussion with someone who was vehemently pro-life. He or she was the kind of person who would probably force women who’ve had abortions to tattoo a fetus to their forehead to shame them for their choice.

Debating with people like this is usually an exercise in futility, right up there with teaching quantum mechanic to a chimp. However, I tried to dig a little deeper into this person’s rhetoric. I asked them to try one of my little thought experiments, which I’m so fond of on this blog. It went like this:

Imagine that tomorrow morning, someone announced they’ve created the perfect form of contraception. It’s easy to use, it’s effective, it’s relatively cheap, it has no side-effects, and it functions in a way that ensures an egg and a sperm will never meet. No conception ever occurs. As such, no abortion ever occurs or is necessary. Would you, a pro-life advocate, be in favor of making this contraception mandatory for all of breeding age in order to end abortion once and for all?

This is one of those thought experiments that’ll either derail a conversation or just get you blocked. It’s also an experiment that has the possibility to become relevant one day because the technology to perfectly control our fertility, male and female, may very well emerge in our lifetime.

It’s a possibility that I find exposes a dirty secret in the pro-life crowd. While there are a few who genuinely believe that abortion constitutes the murder of an innocent life, there is also a sizable chunk that is vehemently anti-sex. They see abortion as just a means for people to have consequence-free sex and that doesn’t sit well with them.

I can understand why, especially from religiously-motivated arguments. Anything that leads to consequence-free sex is going to get the clergy of any religion up in arms. However, that’s another issue altogether. We expect religion to oppose anything that might distract people from giving them tax-free donations. It’s the other chunk of the pro-life crowd that are a bit more transparent with their sentiment.

For this particular person, however, I actually got a pretty insightful response. Not surprisingly, this person was not at all in favor of mandating that this perfect contraception be mandated as a means to end abortion entirely. Initially, I thought this exposed the person as one of those repressive anti-sex types. I turned out to be wrong. This was the person’s justification:

Once you start limiting peoples freedom for their own good you get slavery.

This weren’t against the use perfect contraception. He or she even said they’d gladly take it. However, the idea of forcing people to use it to end abortion just exchanged one immoral act for another. Regardless of how you may feel about abortion, I think we can all relate and respect that sentiment to some degree.

I tried probing a little deeper. I compared making perfect contraception mandatory to requiring seatbelts. Apparently, this person was against that as well. He or she did not make an exception between contraception and seatbelts. These are the exact words from the response.

So the answer to your last two questions is, of course it is immoral to force people to wear seat belts and forcing people to stop at red light is for the protection of others.

I really couldn’t go farther than that. I think the person effectively made their point. This person is an ardent libertarian. Coercion of any kind, even the kind that would end abortion completely, is every bit as immoral.

Again, I can really understand that. This person showed some consistency in their rhetoric, which is somewhat rare on the internet, as anyone who ever visited a Twilight message board can attest. I admit it was somewhat refreshing because most don’t even attempt the thought experiment. This person made an effort and for that, he or she has my respect.

4 Comments

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

January 12, 2017 · 6:59 am

What The NCAA Says About Our Sexual Attitudes

Is anybody else still buzzing from the College Football Championship game earlier this week? I sure am. I still feel like I just left a rock concert and my ears are still ringing. At least with Monday’s game, I don’t have to worry about permanent hearing damage down the line.

In case you’ve been in a coma for the past several days, Alabama and Clemson played one of the most epic college football games in history. It was a hell of a game from start to finish, full of big plays, big turning points, and players that really rose to the occasion. It highlighted everything I love about football, a sport I’ve loved since I was a kid.

As much as I love football though, there is one component about college football that still bothers me. It’s not necessarily the football part though. That’s the fun part that most sports fans can get behind. It’s the college component.

This doesn’t just apply to football either. I watch other college sports from time-to-time, mainly basketball. When I was in college, I even knew some college athletes. It’s a big part of college life. Between class and keggers, college sports are a big part of the culture. However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to see it in a different context, one that is probably a byproduct of being an erotica/romance writer.

Unlike the professional ranks, college athletes don’t get paid. Sure, they get a scholarship to a school (although it can be revoked and rescinded at any time), but they don’t make any money directly. It doesn’t matter if your Deshaun Watson, the quarterback from Clemson who just became an icon at his school, or some backup point guard on the basketball team. They don’t make a penny directly.

This is kind of odd because the NCAA, the governing body for college sports, made over $1 billion in 2014 alone. They made this money despite not having to pay a dime to the actual people who play these sports that entertain us so much, namely the athletes.

Understandably, there are some folks who have a problem with this. The issue of paying college athletes is a sensitive issue, so much so that South Park dedicated an entire episode to mocking it with crack babies. It’s as entertaining and offensive as it sounds. Since the basic rule of thumb is that if South Park mocks it, then it must be a serious issue, it’s safe to assume there’s some major controversy/injustice going on.

Now I’m not going to dedicate this entire post to arguing for or against paying college athletes. That is a complex issue with more wrinkles than a porn star’s bed sheets. I’m not entirely qualified to discuss the particulars of this issue, but someone like John Oliver is. Last year, he dedicated a show to reviewing this issue and, as he often does, he breaks it down in a pretty astonishing way.

In watching this, it’s hard to feel much sympathy for the NCAA. That would be like feeling sympathy for the New York Yankees for not winning the World Series this past year. It’s an organization full of bureaucrat businessmen whose sole purpose is to make more money for the organization. I don’t mind people making money, but when it involves exploiting people to such a degree, I have a problem.

Then again, there might be other forces at work here beyond the greed of the NCAA and those who share in their profits. It’s a force that John Oliver never touched on and rightly so. It’s one of those forces that’s clearly there, but the implications are hard to see.

Watch that clip again and focus on the parts about the coaches and administrators making all that money from these college athletes. Do you notice something about them? Well, don’t look too hard. It’s fairly bland on the surface. A lot of these people are older individuals. They’re either at middle-age or beyond. They wear suits, they sit at desks, and they have as much sex appeal as a shaved cat.

Why do I bring this up? It’s not just to mock the ages of those involved. That’s just wrong. I mention their ages because it highlights an unspoken facet of our sexual attitudes. Listen to older folk talk about the sexual behaviors of the younger generation for more than five minutes and you’ll probably hear the same story, assuming you have a strong enough stomach.

Most will complain that these kids are out of control. They’re all a big ball of hormones, ticking time bombs that will go off at the sight of anything that looks like a tit. Put them in a room with anything that’s even somewhat alive and they’ll find a way to fuck it. They’re just that horny. They’re just that decadent.

Never mind that this generation, the Millennials, is having less sex than previous generations. This is the perception of the older crowd. It’s a perception that every older crowd seems to have about younger crowds in some form or another. Whether it’s baby boomers, hippies, yuppies, or whatever crazy generations emerged in Ancient Egypt, old people whined about them.

Why do they whine? Why does younger people having sex make them so upset? Well, if you’re older, you’re more likely to have kids. That means you’re also likely to have a daughter. Talk to any proud father about their daughter and chances are, they’ll vomit uncontrollably if they think about their daughter having any kind of sex that doesn’t involve making a grand-baby that will care for them in a nursing home.

It hearkens back to the Bronze Age idea that men must protect their daughter’s virginity, as though it’s some sort of precious commodity that they can later sell for a juicy dowry. Never mind that this isn’t the goddamn Bronze Age and it’s illegal to sell your children. Older men still recoil at the idea of their precious girls being defiled by hormonal men.

So how does this apply to college athletes? Well, anyone who saw the movie Varsity Blues has a vague idea. College athletes are big, strong, handsome, and a good chunk of them are minorities. They don’t just attract women. They can physically overpower them, sometimes in horribly violent ways.

The idea of paying these young men money, which they could then use to more effectively have sex with more women, probably doesn’t sit well with the older men who coach and govern college sports. Some of them may even worry that their own daughters, sisters, girlfriends, or mistresses will fall prey to a handsome, athletic stud’s charms.

It’s fairly undeniable that young athletes are quite horny and quite eager to fuck. The stories that come out of Olympic Village every four years during the Olympics are proof of that. For the NCAA and the old folk who run it, they just can’t stomach the idea of giving these young men too many resources. They’ll just use them to do more humping.

Now this is just the wild interpretation of an erotica/romance writer. I’m not saying that this thought crosses the minds of those in the NCAA when they’re arguing against paying college athletes. However, I do think there’s an unspoken concern that older generations have about the young, one that makes them look for excuses to not give them too many resources.

In some respects, I understand that. I like to think I was fairly mature when I was young, but there’s no way I could’ve made real, adult decisions about the future of my life at 18, which is when most college athletes start their careers. Give me a lot of money and athletic prowess and I might find a way to fuck it up.

Then again, is the problem really that college athletes are too horny and immature? Or is it that we just treat them with the expectation that this is how they’re going to be and they can’t possibly be any different? It’s just something to think about the next time you hear someone make excuses on why we shouldn’t give too much money to young, handsome, athletic men.

4 Comments

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

January 4, 2017 · 5:52 am

Women’s Tastes In Porn (Involves Lesbians)

Brace yourselves because I’m about to say something that’s going to explode heads and confuse genitals everywhere. Are you sitting down? Has it been a while since your last meal? If not, take about a half-hour or so to let it digest. You’ll thank me later. I promise.

Are you back? Are you sitting? Are you bracing yourself appropriately? Okay, here goes. Again, don’t say I didn’t warn you because this is going to shock more people than it should.

Women do watch porn.

Are you done gasping? Have you picked your jaw up off the floor? Take a moment to let this sink in. If you live in North America, a part of the world with a rich tradition of schizophrenic attitudes towards sex, you’ll probably need more than a few. Being an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I need to be in touch with those attitudes. Yes, that includes understanding women’s preferences in porn?

Why do I bring this up? Well, aside from the fact that it’s easy to garner extra attention when you talk about women and porn, it is a relevant topic for me. I want my writing to appeal to everyone, men and women alike. Being a healthy heterosexual man, I have a fairly good idea of what men like, be it porn, TV, and fast food. I need to dig a little deeper for women’s preferences.

That’s actually not as difficult as it sounds. Yes, I know the concept of understanding women is often equated to understanding quantum physics. No, I don’t believe that’s accurate. That’s just an overplayed gimmick in every bad romantic comedy made since 1977.

It is possible to understand women on some levels. You just have to do something so simple, yet so revolutionary, even in 2017. You have to actually listen. I’ll give everyone another moment to stop gasping.

Now I’m not saying I’m a professional listener, but I have a functioning brain and functioning ears. Those are the most vital tools last I checked. In addition, there are others who just announce to the world what women think and what they find sexy. You just have to be willing and able to listen. Again, it’s not as hard as it sounds. It did not need to be a sub-standard Mel Gibson movie.

One such medium that has been very informative to this blog before is ThinkTank. They’re not scientific. They’re not overly preachy either. They’re about as balanced as you can get on the internet these days, which I know is not saying much.

Understanding that anything on the internet has about as much scientific validity as a Star Trek rerun, I still find their discussions informative. Recently, one of those discussions involved women’s tastes in porn. Naturally, my ears perked up, as did other parts of my body. Since I’m trying to appeal to women’s sexy sensibilities, I had to listen to some parts more than others.

Here’s the video. It’s fairly SFW and not overly graphic. It does, however, paint an interesting (and telling) picture.

So apparently, this admittedly unscientific study found out that women in North America love lesbian porn. They love lesbian porn a lot. As a man, I say bless their female hearts because I think that’s something a lot of American men can rally behind. We don’t agree on much, but we can sure as hell agree that lesbian porn is sexy as hell.

That said, I don’t think we’ll agree on the factors behind this. I know there are radical feminists and even a few overly religious types who will whine about the extent to which women are sexualized. I don’t doubt that happens. It’s fairly well-documented, albeit incomplete, that women are more sexualized in North American media than men.

I’ve already done posts about objectification and why I think the whining about that is misguided. There also is some science to back up the claim that men are more visual creatures than women, although that science is incomplete. In this case, I think women’s tastes in porn reflect something else that actually unites genders.

One of the unique traits of lesbian porn is that it’s focused on the wants and needs of the women. It kind of has to be for pragmatic purposes. In addition, those involves in lesbian porn are, by and large, presented as equals. This is more a product of men and women being biologically and physiologically different. When two women are involved, it makes for more equal dynamics and not just because they have the same anatomy.

It’s because of that equality that the mood, tone, and appeal of lesbian porn is unique. I think that uniqueness appeals to women, especially in North America, because so much popular culture, including porn, creates all these woefully unequal relationships. It’s either the man who overshadows the women or the woman who busts the balls of the man. It’s often either/or and rarely anything in between.

It can happen though. A single X-men comic that came out last year proved that a relationship of equals can really work. It’s the kind of relationship I’m trying to craft in my novels. My upcoming book, “Passion Relapse,” really makes an effort at this and I hope it has that unique appeal to women and men alike.

Now I’m sure there are other factors in play. There are probably a whole host of other reasons as to why lesbian porn appeals to so many women. We live in a culture that uses beautiful women as the apex of all things sexual. One beautiful woman has the sex appeal of ten George Clooneys. That’s just how our schizophrenic culture operates at the moment.

With that in mind, I do expect tastes to change and evolve. Today, lesbian porn may be the preferred porn of choice for women. That may change in five years. For all we know, foot fetishes and finger-banging will come into style. It’s hard to say. I can’t predict the proclivities of an entire culture. I can just take note, listen to the whims of others as well as my own, and adapt my sexy novels accordingly.

One final note on lesbian porn for now. If you’re a woman and you enjoy a little bit of lesbian loving in your private moments, check out my book, “Holiday Heat.” The holidays may be over, but the sex appeal of this book should keep your spirits high.

Leave a comment

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , ,

December 19, 2016 · 6:01 am

The Paradox Of Traditional Romance

The more I read and write about love, sex, and the elaborate hoops we jump through in order to get them, the more I notice something frustratingly profound. When it comes to love and sex, there is no normal. There is no true tradition. There is only the ever-evolving, constantly-adapting dynamics between lovers, love interests, and fuck buddies alike.

Human beings are such complex, diverse creatures. That’s a big reason why our stories about them are so elaborate and varied. I’ve written stories about repressive religious communities that engage in ritualistic orgies. I’ve written stories about strippers who find love in the never-ending party that is Las Vegas.

In each case, there are elements of what some people, namely those who watch too much Fox News, would call “non-traditional” behavior. Whether it’s in love or sex, these people and the mentality they embody represent a standard set of assumptions that we in the Western world cling to, despite any evidence or anecdote to the contrary. They cling to it so hard that it can openly conflict with the very nature that makes us human.

Now I’m not talking about the kinds of assumptions that lead to uptight religious leaders calling same-sex marriage a cause for terrorist attacks or old men thinking granting women equal rights will turn them into lesbians. Those assumptions are the product of one too many intimate encounters between a baseball bat and a skull. They can’t be taken seriously, nor can they be effectively debated.

The assumptions here involve our standard perceptions of sex and romance. Some call it the “standard model” and since I’ve used that term before, that’s the term I’ll keep using until someone comes up with something better/sexier. We all know about these assumptions to some degree. It goes like this:

  • Boy meets girl
  • Girl meets boy
  • Boy and girl fall in love
  • Boy and girl get permission from religion and government to legally have sex
  • Boy and girl move into together, start having babies, and become upstanding members of society
  • Boy and girl constantly struggle to avoid the urge to cheat one another with more exciting sex acts
  • Boy and girl do what they can to abide by societies expectations about how a married couple and family should behave

These assumptions are a big part of the narrative in “Sex At Dawn,” a book that continues to intrigue/arouse me with each chapter. In one of the early chapters, this book makes a keen observation that even my dirty mind missed. It’s an observation that’s so painfully obvious that you really do wonder if psychic lizard people are controlling our thoughts to make us think such crazy things.

If this traditional model of sex and romance is so natural, as many traditionalists claim, then why does it need all these elaborate legal, religious, and social institutions to reinforce it. If it’s so natural, then those protections wouldn’t be necessary, would it?

Think about it. There’s no need for a thought experiment this time. Look at all the elaborate tactics that religion, government, and society uses to preserve and reinforce the traditional model of romance and sex.

They make cheesy sitcoms. They make elaborate love songs. Entire countries even create this massive web of benefits for married couples that, until very recently, were reserved strictly for couples that stuck to the standard model of romance and sex.

This says nothing about the draconian extremes that religion went to in preserving this standard model of romance and sexuality. For some, just having laws, TV shows, and legal benefits wasn’t enough. Entire religions had to make this standard model of sex and romance a matter of spiritual importance. To go against it would be to go against an all-powerful deity that doesn’t want you using your genitals in a certain way.

Combine all that together and you start to see an odd pattern. This institution that’s supposed to be so “natural” needs all these elaborate traditions to protect it. It’s almost as if these traditions are not at all conducive to mankind’s natural inclinations for love and sex. If I could say that with any more sarcasm, I would.

Now some will claim that these traditions are necessary because mankind is naturally rebellious and immoral. Hell, that claim is the basis for no less than three major religions in this world. However, if you think about it just a little bit more than any priest or mullah ever dared, you should be able to see the flaws in that logic.

Take a moment to channel your inner Mother Nature. Pretend for a moment you’re programming a successful species from scratch. Why the hell would you install a program that makes the species rebellious and deviant? You want them to survive and reproduce, right? Making them rebellious just means you’re giving them a mechanism to defy the very goals you established in the first place.

That’s not to say that some people don’t have faulty wiring in their brains and their biology. Some really are naturally deviant, rebellious, and arrogant to a point where they get their own reality show on Fox. Those individuals are a byproduct of the diversity that every species have, daring to venture into uncharted territories to pave the way for others. They’re supposed to be the exception and not the norm.

What the assumptions surrounding the standard model of romance and sex do is invert that dynamic. It creates the impression that the norm is the exception. All those powerful mechanisms that urge us to love, hump, and cooperate in ways that make Catholic Bishops cry at night are scolded and shamed. The only way to subvert them is to create entire traditions and cultures that warp peoples’ mind into believing these assumptions.

It is a romantic paradox in many respects. We claim this standard model of romance that is the basis of so many Shakespeare plays and boy band songs is natural, but it still needs all these protections and traditions to propagate.

It’s enough to make you wonder what will happen as these traditions and assumptions fade. It’s another interesting thought experiment, but one I’ll have to hold off on until I finish “Sex At Dawn” in its entirety.

It’s already giving me many interesting ideas for the kinds of sexy love stories that may fly in the face of everything Stephanie Meyer ever wrote, but these are ideas worth exploring. When our love lives and our sex lives are involved, the stakes are pretty damn high. If my erotica/romance novels can flesh out those ideas, then that’s a worthy endeavor if ever there was one.

13 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

December 11, 2016 · 8:20 am

Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Easing Holiday Stress Edition

When you’re trying to build a career out of telling sexy, romantic stories, you tend to think a lot of sexy thoughts. It’s part of the job description. To tell sexy love stories, you need to think sexy. To think otherwise would be like baking a cake while you’re not hungry. It helps to be vested in your work is what I’m saying.

My efforts, and all the sexy thoughts that come with it, are finally starting to bear fruit. Beyond my self-publishing endeavors, I’m finally getting the attention of a few small-time publishers. One book, “Embers of Eros,” is set for release later this month. The other, “Passion Relapse,” is poised for release in 2017.

If all goes well, these sexy thoughts may actually help me pay the bills one day. That day is still a ways off, but I won’t let that keep me from thinking about sexy things that will hopefully inspire more sexy stories. There’s always a market for sexiness. It’s one of the few recession-proof markets that doesn’t involve alcohol and I hope to carve my place in it.

As part of that effort, I want to keep sharing some of these sexy thoughts with the world. So long as I have sexy thoughts to share, I’ll keep sharing them through what I guess is my new weekly column, Jack Fisher’s “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.”

After a long week, we all need to think about something less stressful or overwhelming. The holidays make it even more challenging. There are gifts to buy, presents to wrap, decorations to hang, and eggnog to drink. I get it. The holidays are stressful. So in the spirit of the holidays, let these sexy thoughts help ease the tension.

“When we call someone a dick or a pussy, it’s an insult. But when that same person actually uses their dick or their pussy properly, it’s a point of pride.”

I’ve always found this kind of odd, using genitals to insult people. We love our genitals. We take pride in how they look and how we use them. So why use them as insults?

“Sex sells, but only a handful of people can get away with charging a premium.”

Let’s face it, not every woman looks like Kate Upton and not every man looks like Brad Pitt. I think that slogan needs to be revised. Sex does indeed sell, but only to a point. Seeing Jonah Hill drink a Pepsi isn’t going to make too many people horny enough to change their drinking habits.

“Cult leaders tend to be extremely horny, extremely jealous, and extremely reluctant to pay taxes. They’re basically every male slacker’s dream job.”

I’ve noticed that charismatic cult leaders often convince beautiful women, and even a few men, that salvation can be achieved through his penis in some form or another. Is it shady? Yes, it most definitely is. Then again, when you make sex a holy sacrament, it does cut down on the small talk so damn it if it isn’t uncomfortably practical.

“Being a good multi-tasker should be a prerequisite for seeking a three-way.”

This applies to both genders. It’s just common courtesy. If you’re going to get more people involved in your love life, at least make sure you can dedicate the necessary energy to sharing the joy.

“Orgasms are one of the few bodily functions that have been seen as both a disease and a cure.”

It’s no secret anymore. Orgasms have many wonderful health benefits. It’s the best medicine you can get without a prescription. Even so, there are certain conditions where orgasms can become a problem and the actions of uptight authority figures certainly doesn’t help.

“Words can hurt, but words can also make us horny so it balances out.”

Words have a great deal of power. Like most things in this complicated and imperfect world, it’s a matter of how you use them. Some use them to be assholes. Some use them to tell sex, steamy stories. I think I’ve made clear which one I prefer.

“The sexier a drug makes us feel, the less we care about the side-effects.”

We’ll tolerate all sorts of bizarre side-effects from the endless cocktail of drugs that flood the modern world, but if those side-effects include more erections and orgasms, then that tolerance grows considerably. We don’t care if it gives us seizures or turns our tongue black. If it helps us fuck like porn stars on crack, we’ll find a way to endure.

“The heroes and villains of every story either have too much sex or not enough. Is there no room for a healthy middle ground?”

As a comic book fan, I find this somewhat troubling. On one hand, we have Wolverine and James Bond, who get more ass than a toilet seat at Taco Bell. On the other, we have Captain America and Superman, who barely get any ass at all. I think there’s room for balance. Then again, if everyone got enough sex, there wouldn’t be many villains to begin with, would there?

“If you add the words ‘while masturbating’ to the end of every feat, it makes it all the more impressive.”

Go on. Try it! Go to any news feed. Look up any article about someone who did something amazing. Then, tack on those two extra words and let your dirty imagination run wild.

Hope this warms everyone up. Hope it gives everyone some sexy thoughts to think about. I’ll keep my dirty mind active for your sexy entertainment. It’s what I do.

3 Comments

Filed under Sexy Sunday Thoughts

Tagged as , , , , , , , , ,

December 8, 2016 · 6:07 am

Cheating And Other Flaws In The Standard Model Of Romance

Why is it that stories of cheating, infidelity, and affairs get us feeling giddier than a kid in a room full of puppies? What is it about these stories that fascinate/disgust/arouse us so much? We can’t ignore our reaction to it. There’s a very good reason why Jerry Springer had so much success and it wasn’t just because he’d bring out the occasional midget.

Cheating, infidelity, or whatever you want to call it has always been an obsession of sorts, both in today’s culture and throughout history. Go all the way back to Greek mythology and you’ll get philandering cheats like Zeus, whose track record of infidelity would shock even Jerry Springer.

Fast forward 2,000 years and we still have things link Brangelina, which ended recently in divorce, but for a time was its own cottage industry of sorts, having been built on a foundation of alleged infidelity. Whether we’re in ancient Athens or Newark, New Jersey, we as a society are fascinated by cheating.

That leaves us with an uncomfortable, but sexually suggestive question. Why? This is actually one of those things that can’t be explained solely within the context of caveman logic. The concept of infidelity, as well as the very concept of marriage, takes on a very different context in the caveman mind. The vastly different courtship practices of hunter/gatherer societies are proof enough of that.

As with so many other complex human traits, our caveman brains can’t be precise, accurate, or even logical. They can only do what they must to help us survive and reproduce. It is, as I’ve said before, a blunt instrument that’s prone to error. That error is compounded with infidelity, which is why there are so many theories as to why people cheat.

Our brains still don’t know that we’re not cavemen living in hunter/gatherer societies anymore. Humans, like every other species, are at the mercy of the slow pace of evolution. To be fair to evolution though, humans have been subject to some major upheavals in recent times.

According to most estimates not made by update Texas pastors, the human species has been on this planet for about 200,000 years. It’s only in the last 10,000 years or so that the agricultural revolution laid the foundation for our civilization.

It’s this major shift that laid the foundation for our current concept infidelity. It’s this system of society that helped establish the marriage, child-rearing, and gender roles of civilization that have persisted for most of human history. It’s also this system that made infidelity such a big freakin’ deal to begin with.

I bring this up because last month, I talked about a new book I had been reading called “Sex At Dawn” by Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha, Allyson Johnson, and Jonathan Davis. This book attempts to break down the standard model of romance and expose the flaws within.

I touched on some of those flaws before I even read the book, but it has been very insightful (and very sexy) in fleshing out those flaws in ways I never could. Recently, I got to the part of the book where cheating is discussed and it put the whole concept into a new context, one that can really inspire an aspiring erotica/romance writer.

First, the book lays out the standard model of romance. Anyone who ever watched a sitcom in the 1950s knows what that model looks like. It’s basically one man, one woman, one house with a white picket fence, and exceedingly rigid roles for everyone involved.

The man works to provide money for the family. The woman stays home to raise the kids. The kids get into trouble every now and then, requiring a lecture from their wise father to fix everything. Everybody goes to bed having learned a lesson. It’s basically the exact opposite of the Simpsons.

The Rick Santorums of the world praise this model. At times, they deify it the same way the entire state of Massachusetts deifies Tom Brady. They see it as the perfect ideal that must be pursued, protected, and championed, even if it means bashing homosexuals and screwing over single parents.

There are many problems with this model and even more with the uptight people who champion it, but “Sex At Dawn” singles one in particular out when it comes to infidelity. Don’t worry though. It’s the sexy kind of problem.

The book sets up a fairly standard scenario not much different from the 50s sitcom model. Picture a man and a woman together. They’re married. They’re fairly normal. They’re as typical as typical can be in a country that makes bacon-flavored lube.

The man provides a stable, comfortable home for the woman. He works a job that pays the bills, allowing the woman to stay at home to keep it in one piece. He’s not an overly exciting man. She’s not an overly exciting woman. Their sex life is the antithesis of an old Motley Crue music video. It may as well be as routine as doing the laundry.

So why is this a problem? Well, “Sex At Dawn” makes it a point to note that evolution creates numerous incentives that we don’t already recognize, let alone understand. Remember, our brains and bodies are built for survival and reproduction. The standard model does provide some of that, but it’s not entirely a safe bet.

In that model, the man and the woman are gambling with their evolutionary imperatives. The man is only impregnating one woman in this model. What if that woman has health issues that render her infertile? What if the children she has suffer birth defects? What if she’s only able to have one or two kids at the most?

The are just as many risks for the woman. What if the man’s genes aren’t that good? What if the man’s fertility is limited at best? What if the children she bears aren’t particularly talented or advantaged in any way?

That’s a lot of gambling in the game of evolution. Like immature children who try to cheat at monopoly, we humans will try to bend the rules when we can. This leads to the kind of sexy scenarios that makes “Sex At Dawn” one of the most colorful and insightful books an erotica/romance writer can reference.

For the man, evolution provides an incentive not to hedge his bets. That means the inclination to spend some extra time with their hot young secretary is pretty strong. Unlike a woman, a man can hump multiple women and has a chance at impregnating them all. Sure, those kids will be at a disadvantage if their father is not involved, but the law of averages said at least one of those kids will survive to carry on his genes.

Like I said, evolution has the maturity of a 13-year-old watching Game of Thrones. It’s basically a recipe for extra-marital humping.

For the woman, there are other incentives, but they’re just as powerful and just as sexy. A woman with a boring, but faithful husband will likely have children who share that trait. The boys she bears will be boring and faithful, still having to rely on one woman to propagate their lineage.

Enter the bad boy rebel who will hump anything with legs and a pulse. He’s James Dean. He’s Wolverine. He’s Johnny Cash. This man, for perverse reasons that evolution fuels, gets the woman horny enough to do some extra humping on the side. Sure, it requires that she go behind her hubby’s back, but as women and men alike know all too well, we do crazy things when we’re really horny.

On top of the toe-curling pleasure that comes with exciting, bad-boy sex, she may now bear a child who can hump more women and make more stud babies. Those stud babies have a much better chance at passing on the woman’s genes so she has a powerful evolutionary incentive to make sure all her sons are Wilt Chamberlin and all her daughters are Kardashians.

In light of these evolutionary incentives, coupled with the rigid social order imposed by the “Leave It To Beaver” crowd, it makes perfect evolutionary sense. Evolution forged our basic drives and imperatives. Evolution, being the imperfect process it is, doesn’t give a two whiffs of a skunks ass what laws, taboos, and Jerry Springer says. If it propagates a species, then that’s all it needs.

It’s because of these evolutionary forces and powerful incentives that infidelity makes a perverse kind of sense. For years, I struggled to understand why women wanted to sleep with the bad boys, knowing they weren’t going to stick around or be faithful. Now, when I think about it from the “stud baby” perspective, it does make sense.

It also reveals how imperfect our current assumptions about relationships and romance are, even in the 21st century. Granted, there have been improvements since the Victorian Era, but I think we, as a society, can do better. I don’t claim to have a solution, but I will definitely explore a few sexy possibilities on this blog and in my novels.

3 Comments

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

November 27, 2016 · 8:30 am

More Sexy Sunday Thoughts

It’s Sunday morning. It’s after an official holiday in Thanksgiving. It’s also after an unofficial holiday in Black Friday. So for those of us who love food, shopping, and everything in between, we’re pretty spent. We’re burned out on turkey, pumpkin pie, potatoes, and navigating crowded malls that often lead to fist-fights over parking spots. So how are we going to recover?

That’s not a rhetorical question. I’m serious because at this very moment, I still feel like a a hung over sumo wrestler. I’ve had so much turkey and done so much shopping. Both my stomach and my credit card are turning against me. I’ll recover, but I’m going to need some help.

Being an erotica/romance writer, my skills are somewhat limited in that respect. However, in my experience, such feelings of bloat and burnout are best handled by simpler feelings that even our cavemen ancestors would appreciate. Now I’m not implying that it has to be the sexy kind of feelings, but those are the feelings I have the most experience with. They also happen to work so why argue with results?

With that in mind, I’d like to share another edition of Jack Fisher’s sexy Sunday thoughts. I thought the last entry went over fairly well. If possible, I’d like to make this a regular thing for those who need to recover from a hard week or, in this case, an eventful holiday. So sit back, let all that turkey and pie digest, and enjoy a few sensual musings from an aspiring erotica/romance writer. Enjoy!

When you have a quick fuck in the shower, is it dirty or clean?

Isn’t that the existential question that every frisky couple ponders?

The thought of breasts and the sight of breasts have a similar effect on straight men.

It’s no secret. Men have dirty imaginations. You can pixilate them all you want. Men are still going to respond to breasts in ways the FCC and the Catholic Church don’t like.

Is it physically possible for a beautiful woman to eat a banana in a way that doesn’t seem sexual?

I’ve tried to think of a scenario. Even with my twisted  imagination, I still can’t.

Does the fact that lips can sometimes look like an engorged vagina make gay men feel conflicted?

I’m not gay, but I’m often curious about how they manage their sex lives. There are more than a few issues where I feel they may need to get creative.

We shudder at the thought of our parents having sex, but they also shudder at the thought of their children having sex. That says a lot about how much nature trusts our libido.

I’ve always wondered about this. I think it may be some elaborate way to keep us from humping everything. Then again, it must not work because incest porn is still a thing.

Generally speaking, there’s no such thing as an unsexy rich man.

I’m not saying all women are enamored with rich men, but I do think it’s too pragmatic a way to make use of good looks. It’s also proof that having nice breasts counts as a good investments.

The invention of bikinis and lingerie is proof that people had to get creative in the days before internet porn.

In every society, there needs to be an outlet for horny men. Both necessity and horniess can be powerful motivators that produce amazing results.

Does drinking really make us horny? Or does it just make us realize how horny we actually are?

It’s another one of those existential questions that doesn’t have a real answer. In the end, I think the truth will often lie somewhere in between.

That’s it for now. Hope this helps aid in your post-holiday recovery and/or puts you in the mood, whichever comes first. If you have any other sexy thoughts you’d like to share to cap off this holiday weekend, please do.

3 Comments

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

November 2, 2016 · 7:01 am

The (Not So) Hidden Secret Of Horror Movies

I know Halloween is over and has been over for two days now, but since I still have leftover candy and pumpkin ale so I’m going to assume that’s a good enough reason to still discuss Halloween-like topics. If anyone has an issue with that assumption, too bad. I’m not one to abandon the spirit of a holiday the second the clock strikes midnight on that day. That’s just too arbitrary.

As is often tradition, I watched a lot of horror movies over the past week. It was more pragmatic than tradition. There were horror movie marathons everywhere and some of those movies had gratuitous nudity. You think an erotic/romance writer is going to pass that up? Hell no!

Say what you will about Halloween compared to other holidays. I don’t recall too many Christmas specials giving us a lot of nudity. Any holiday that gives us nudity deserves bonus points in my book, but I digress.

In watching this glut of horror movies, I noticed something that I imagine everybody notices when they see horror movies, especially the “Friday The 13th” slasher type movies. Yes, it also has to do with gratuitous nudity, but not of the good kind if you can believe that.

It’s a poorly kept secret and probably the least subtle message in the history of cinema. Horror movies just love to send a message to any overly-promiscuous teenage girl or overly horny teenage guy. If you dare to be sexy, someone with a machete and/or chainsaw will show up and slaughter you.

It sounds like Sex Ed from the Catholic Church, hidden within the bloody violence of R-rated movies that impressionable youths aren’t supposed to see. It sends so many mixed messages that our brains and genitals can’t help but get confused. It doesn’t just lead to awkward boners. It leads to a misguided and surprisingly-puritanical undertone.

Let’s take a classic example. One of my favorite horror movies of all time, as well as one of my favorite movies of all time, is the original John Carpenter “Halloween.” I know Rob Zombie tried to remake this movie, but you just can’t add polish to a classic.

Classic or not, it basically sets up the formula that generations of slasher movies have repeated time and again. There’s a masked killer on the loose. There are cute teenage girls in his sights. A few of them are a bit too willing to take their clothes off. One of them is a sweet, innocent virgin. The ones who get naked get killed. The innocent virgin survives.

It’s a formula that “Friday the 13th” and “A Nightmare On Elm Street” would later follow closely, albeit with a few tweaks here and there. Those movies also had their moments. I certainly enjoyed “A Nightmare On Elm Street.” These horror elements make for fun, bloody, thrilling entertainment. They also have a few too many things in common with the policies of the Catholic Church.

It’s no coincidences that the characters who survive the masked-killer’s rampages are cute female virgins of child-bearing age. This is a trope going back to the days of King Arthur where knights slay dragons to get access to a pretty girl. It’s only slightly more subtle. It plays right into the idea that a virgin woman is more valuable because she probably doesn’t have a disease and you can be sure the kid she has is yours.

It’s been a long time since we had to slay dragons and we don’t need virginity to determine who the father of a kid is. Modern paternity tests are as close to 100-percent accurate as it’s statistically possible to be. So why do horror movies still make the virgin girls more valuable than any other character?

It’s a question that answers itself sadly. These movies, and the narratives they craft, are still somewhat tied to the King Arthur formula from centuries past. Our culture, and the products of that culture, still ascribe value to certain traits. These values are what we use to identify which characters are “good” and which characters are “naughty.”

Naturally, our innate sense of justice wants us to see the naughty characters punished. Let’s face it, we don’t like the Biff Tannens or the Regina Georges of the world. They’re the bullies, the assholes, the bitches, and the stuck up jerks who get lucky way more than they deserve. Horror movies go out of their way to punish these characters, often in very brutal ways.

It plays into our sense of fairness more than it does our sense of fear. We don’t think it’s fair that pretty, attractive people get more luck and more sex than we do so we want to see them suffer. Does that sound fair? Well, it shouldn’t and that’s part of the problem.

This is the darker side of horror movies that has nothing to do with violence, murder, or bloodshed. It preys upon the darker angles of our sense of fairness. Those making these movies know that most women in the world don’t look like a young Jodie Foster. They also know that most men don’t look like Biff Tannen. These characters represent the bullies and the sluts that we hate and want to see punished.

This is what horror movies give us. They make it a point to punish those we despise in horrifically violent ways. Now I admit, I still enjoy the thrills these movies have. I love that sudden scary moment that makes me jump out of my seat. That feeling of fear and arousal is very much a primal appeal, one that exploits the faulty wiring of our caveman brains. It can be fun, but the message is still somewhat sadistic when you think about it.

This gets me thinking and by thinking, I mean it may conjure new ideas for a novel. There are countless horror/slasher movies that follow this formula. There are even more stories that place a high value on the virgins/good girls. We’ve seen those stories so many times. Is there room for something different?

If I asked that question a few years ago, I may have hesitated. Then, the success of movies like Deadpool proved that it was possible to shake up a time-tested formula and do something different.

Can there be a horror/slasher story where sluts, jocks, and virgins aren’t all so painfully obvious? Can there be a horror/slasher story where we really don’t know who will survive in the end? Would you even want to read that story? It’s a relevant question to ask because if it’s a story that involves gratuitous nudity, then it’s a story that an aspiring erotica/romance writer is willing to tell.

9 Comments

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights

Tagged as , , , , , , , , ,

October 21, 2016 · 6:38 am

Fulfilling ALL Our Needs/Fantasies Through Human Enhancement

Everyone has their own list of crazy, erotic fantasies that they don’t have the time, energy, or resources to pursue. Unless you’re super rich, super famous, or able to handle super-potent drugs, you’ll only ever fulfill a fraction of your fantasies at most. Hell, many people go through their whole lives fulfilling exactly zero.

This is good to some extent for an erotica/romance writer like me. It means that there’s still a market for those whose ability to explore their erotic fantasies is limited to a book. I’m more than happy to fill that market with however many seamy stories I can conjure.

At the same time, however, it’s kind of tragic when you think about it. Countless people will go their whole lives having all these needs and desires, but they never get a chance to explore them. Sure, it won’t stop them from living happy, content lives, but how much richer would those lives be if they could explore those fantasies?

Well, just as we’ve seen with the creation of fire, electricity, and internet porn, technology may one day make that possible. It’s already starting to happen. Virtual reality headsets are finally becoming mainstream.

You can probably assume someone is already planning to use it for porn. Pretty much every new technology that emerged is applied to sex in some ways. It’s a basic rule of technological progress. If it can be applied to sex, then it will be applied to sex. No exceptions.

This is just the beginning though. Just watching pretty pictures in a VR headset isn’t enough. We’re human beings. We actually want to do all this crazy sexy shit we come up with. There’s only so much we can do on our own. No amount of towels and lube can fulfill the breadth of our desires.

The advent of something like smart blood will help. I already discussed the extremely sexy possibilities in a previous post. The advent of biotechnology will usher in a new era of enhancement.

We’ll be stronger, smarter, and sexier. We’ll be able to live longer lives and stay strong, smart, and sexy along the way. We may get to a point where nobody looks older than 35. Every man will be as strong and endowed as Hugh Jackman. Every woman will be as beautiful and shapely as Kate Hudson. It’ll be a crazy sexy world and I hope I live long enough to see it for reasons that should be obvious.

As appealing and sexy as that future is, it’s still not the ultimate endgame for human enhancement. Sure, it’ll be a lot easier once everyone has smart blood in their system and can hump like Wilt Chamberlin on meth, but there are other forms of enhancement that go even farther if you can believe that. With those enhancements, our ability to explore our needs and desires literally takes on a whole new shape.

What sort of enhancements am I talking about? Well, to answer that, I need to preface this by saying a good chunk of this discussion, as well as those in previous blog posts, were inspired by a book I’ve been reading. It’s called “The Singularity Is Near” by a brilliant futurist, who also happens to be an engineer at Google, named Ray Kurzweil.

It’s a dense, technical book full of information, history, and speculation. If you really want to stretch your mind, and even strain it in some areas, I highly recommend this book. It’ll get you excited/horny about the future in ways you never imagined.

The primary message in this book is fairly straightforward. Kurzweil argues that the current pace of technology is accelerating at a rate that will eventually reach a point where we begin to transcend our own biology. The caveman logic that I’m so fond of referring to on this blog will become a moot point.

There’s a lot to unpack in this book and since I don’t like giving spoilers, I’ll focus on the sexy parts. That’s why people come to this blog. Discussions about human enhancement and futurism isn’t fun unless it’s sexy as well. Well don’t worry. This is going to get sexy real fast.

One of my favorite chapters in this book involves something Kurzweil called “The Human Body 2.0.” In it, he basically describes how we’ll use advances in biotechnology, nanotechnology, and robotics to give the human body a much-needed overhaul. Forget just slapping on makeup, baby oil, and silicone tits. Kurzweil doesn’t just want to enhance our bodies. He wants to rebuild them from the ground up.

It’s not as creepy as it sounds. Recently, I ate this new flavor of cake mix ice cream and it turned my stomach into tire fire on a toxic waste dump. That experience alone, a body that can’t handle a certain flavor of ice cream, convinced me that the human body is due for an overhaul.

Kurzweil goes into great detail about how this 2.0 version of our bodies work. He even explores it on his website. Granted, he gets a little technical at times, but even he acknowledges there are some sexy implications.

This new body doesn’t just have better organs, stronger muscles, and less odor. It basically requires a whole new set of instruction manuals. It has so many upgrades and improvements that I can’t list them all in a single post, but here are just a few that should get you excited/horny:

  • A system of nanobots in place of traditional blood and body fluids, which are programmable and have a measure of intelligence
  • Biotech and cybernetic implants that improve/expand senses
  • Bioengineered skin that is stronger, more durable, and able to process more tactile information
  • Organs that are part biological, part mechanical, and completely interchangable
  • Enhanced brain and nervous system that integrates biotechnical and cybernetic systems to improve, enhance, expand function
  • Connectivity between brain and nervous system to external systems, including computers, AIs, and other brains

Again, this is just a fraction of the functions that these augmented bodies will have. They’ll go way beyond just keeping us free of disease and ensuring we’re all as fit as Olympian athletes. Hell, these bodies will ensure we can beat up every Olympian athlete over the past 100 years without breaking a sweat.

That’s besides the point though. I know what everyone really wants to know about. How will this impact our sex lives? Smart blood will already give us the ability to hump freely without much concern for any nasty side-effects or visits from Maury Povich. What more do we need?

Well, remember the VR shit I mentioned earlier? That’s where these enhanced bodies will be at their sexiest. How will they do this? Two words: The Matrix.

No, I’m not talking about the mind-bending 90s movie or the shitty sequels that came after it. I’m talking about the concept it explored, creating a virtual world so real that it’s completely indistinguishable, as far as our brains are concerned.

Kurzweil discusses this idea extensively in his book, noting the rate at which graphics and simulations are becoming more lifelike. Has anyone here seen the graphics of the PlayStation 4? I don’t think anyone would doubt that at this point.

As this trend continues, it’s going to get to a point where the graphics are so real that our caveman brains really can’t tell the difference. However, our enhanced 2.0 brains will be able to do us one better. It won’t just be able to process these virtual worlds. It’ll allow us to control them.

Kurzweil called it a form of “experience beaming.” I prefer to call it the ultimate fantasy, sexual or otherwise. Once computing power gets to this point, and we’re getting closer every year, we’ll be able to conjure any virtual world we want.

I don’t think it takes a dirty imagination to see the sexual implications of this technology. Now, we don’t even need a partner. We don’t even need to leave our couch. We can just plug in, load up a simulation that involves a three-way between Marilyn Munroe and Cleopatra, and it’ll feel so real that we can’t tell the difference.

This isn’t just the ultimate wet dream for some though. Kurzweil also says that these virtual worlds could be shared. There could be an entire virtual nightclub where people just project their conscious minds into it, hook up with digital versions of other people, and get busy with them in a controlled, malleable world that feels as real as this one.

For couples, it means they could conjure their ultimate fantasies together. Would that make their love stronger? Would that make their sex better? I certainly think so. We all have awesome experiences as individuals. It’s natural that we’d seek to share them with others. That’s something “the human body 2.0” makes easier. If it’s as easy as becoming Facebook friends, people will do it. It’s practically inevitable.

This all sounds wonderfully utopian, but make no mistake. There will be issues with our new bodies and these virtual worlds. There will be serious issues that’ll probably make us unenhanced folks in 2016 cringe.

Who’s to say these virtual worlds are as sexy or wholesome as low-budget softcore porno movie on Cinemax? Why couldn’t they also involve torture, mutilation, and exploitation so horrific that I can’t put it into words, nor do I want to? In a digital world, the laws of physics don’t apply. There’s literally nothing keeping people from doing this crazy shit. Will that be good for society? Will we be able to handle it?

Kurzweil doesn’t shy away from these issues. He acknowledges them, but says the benefits outweigh the costs. I think he’s right. Opposing these advancements is like nuking the internet to keep the libraries in business. It’s throwing away too much good because of a little bad.

When this day comes and we have the bodies that can enter these worlds, it’ll change a lot of things. Chances our, erotica/romance writers like me will be out of business or obsolete. That time hasn’t come yet though. That means I’ll just have to make the most of my desire to tell sexy, romantic stories. Then, when the time comes to enter a virtual world where we can go skinny dipping with Starfire and Wonder Woman, I’ll be first in line.

15 Comments

Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights

Tagged as , , , , , , , , , ,