Category Archives: real stories

December 13, 2021 · 5:16 am

Recounting The First Time I Felt Attracted To A Girl

7 Most Important Social Skills for Kids

We all have certain moments in our lives that really stick out. As adults, we tend to remember these moments vividly. Sometimes, we even know when a particular moment is going to stick with us for years to come. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, getting your dream job, or meeting that special someone, we can remember every little detail and understand why it matters.

When we’re kids, it’s just not the same. Those moments don’t impact us in quite the same way. It’s just a byproduct of being a kid. You’re young and inexperienced. You have no idea how one particular moment will affect you for years to come.

However, there’s often one particular moment in every kid’s life that heavily informs how their adult life plays out. It has to do with that special part of growing up where you start feeling real attraction to someone else. It doesn’t manifest the same way with every kid, but whether they’re straight, gay, bisexual, or something else entirely, it still happens and it can be overwhelming.

Some people can pin down the exact moment when they started feeling attracted to someone. For others, it’s a messier process. Suddenly, you start looking at others in a very different way. You know what love is. You feel it from your family. However, this is something very different.

One moment, you think members of the opposite sex are icky and gross.

The next, you find yourself drawn to them in a profound way.

I don’t care how well-adjusted you are as a kid. That’s going to be confusing, overwhelming, and even a little scary. It’s often one of the first real signs that we’re growing up. We’re starting to become adults.

In that spirit, I’d like to share another personal story about the moment I first felt attracted to a girl. I promise it’s not too crazy or extreme in any way. It’s just one of those parts of my life that I didn’t realize was such a big deal until many years later. I suspect others might have had a similar experience. Theirs might even be more eventful than mine. Whatever their story, I hope this one helps others appreciate those experiences.

To set the stage, this moment took place when I was in the fourth grade. I remember it more vividly than most my elementary school experience. Part of that was because I had this really charismatic teacher. He was such a fun guy and he definitely made school less mundane. He also was big on letting everyone socialize. He was less inclined to lecture us and more inclined to give us activities that we could do in groups.

I certainly didn’t mind that. It beat reading textbooks. However, this also coincided with a time in my life when my social awkwardness really took hold. As I’ve noted before, my social skills have always been sub-par. Even as a kid, I really struggled to make friends, connect with people, and develop lasting connections.

On top of all that, I was somewhat obnoxious at that age. My parents and siblings can attest to this. When I was in the fourth grade, I wasn’t always drawing inside the lines, so to speak. I had a tendency to overreact to things and I didn’t always think before I spoke. While that never got me into serious trouble, it did further compound my social awkwardness.

Then, add being attracted to girls to the mix. It’s hard to put into words just how much that complicated things.

Now, I want to say I was a bit more prepared than most when it came to girls, albeit not by much. Unlike a lot of other boys my age, I never went through a “girls have cooties” stage. I also never went through a period where I thought girls were gross or anything like that.

It helped that I had friends who were girls. Some of my closest cousins were girls. I never saw them as this strange mystery. They were just other people with different body parts. That was it.

It also helped I got along better with girls than boys at that time. At lunch, I would often sit at a table populated by girls. It wasn’t because I was attracted to them. I just didn’t make a lot of friends with the boys. Plus, a lot of the boys I knew in the 4th grade were annoying.

I was comfortable with this setup for the most part. Then, something strange happened with this girl I had sat near during the latter part of the year. I won’t give her name, out of respect for her privacy. I’ll just call her Sue.

Sue was a nice girl with a bright smile and short brown hair. I distinctly remember her laughing a lot. She had a great sense of humor and she appreciated dirty jokes more than most girls. Naturally, I became friendly with her and she became friendly with me. We weren’t exactly close, but we liked being around each other.

In the beginning, I just saw her the same way I had seen so many other girls. She was a friend and I liked her. That was it.

Towards the end of the school year, though, I started feeling something more. I started looking at her differently. I distinctly remember getting a strange feeling around her that I didn’t get around other girls. At first, I thought I was just being obnoxious again. Eventually, I realized it was something more.

I was actually attracted to this girl.

I was really, sincerely drawn to her in a way that was legitimately romantic.

Granted, there’s only so much romantic sentiment a 4th grader could feel, but I knew it was there. Reading superhero comics with romantic sub-plots helped me recognize the signs. I still wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with it. I didn’t really talk about it at first.

However, I do remember one distinct moment in the late spring where I made this comment out of the blue during a class activity. It had been a joke, albeit a very bad one. I don’t remember all the details. I just remember referencing Beth by name and making it clear that I was attracted to her.

She laughed.

The whole class laughed.

I felt so embarrassed that my face blushed bright red.

At the time, I really felt stupid. Perhaps it was for the best that after that year, I never saw Beth again. I know she still went to the same school, but she ended up in other classes. I honestly don’t know if she remembers me or what I said. However, I doubt I’ll ever forget her.

She was very much a turning point in my young life. She was the first girl I looked at and felt real, tangible attraction. I knew what these feelings were and I knew they were more adult than kid. It was really the first sign that I was starting to transfer from kid to adult. While I still had to endure some horribly awkward teenage years, that moment marked the first step.

For that, I’ll always be grateful to Beth. I don’t know if she understood those feelings or if she ever felt that way about me. As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve come to appreciate that moment and the part she played.

That’s my unique story about the first moment I felt attracted to a girl. I know it’s somewhat tame, but I still felt it was worth sharing. If anyone else has a similar story that they’d like to share, please do so in the comments. These moments are profound points in our lives. They’re worth sharing, but they’re also worth learning from.

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December 10, 2021 · 5:44 am

Climate Change Is Real And I’m Old Enough To Feel Its Impact

Rising U.S. concern about climate change is mostly among Democrats | Pew Research Center

Science is a long, laborious, and often tedious process. That’s to be expected. It is, by far, the most effective tool that humanity has in terms of gaining greater knowledge and understanding the world around us.

It’s not always intuitive. There are times when science has revealed just how wrong we were. It’s not that we were all stupid beforehand. We just didn’t have all the data. We could only assume as much as our current understanding allowed.

That’s fine.

That doesn’t make anyone a bad or ignorant person for having held those assumptions.

Science, by its nature, is a self-correcting process. It doesn’t assume anything. It’s always taking in new information, running more tests, and expanding on previous hypotheses. Most of the time, it affirms what we already suspected. Sometimes, though, it completely defies everything we thought we knew.

For that reason, some people just love pointing out all the times science was supposedly wrong to cling to dogmatic assumptions like creationism and Flat-Eartherism. These people really are idiots and they’re often asshole grifters who don’t deserve the slightest bit of sympathy.

Then, there are the climate change deniers. They’re not just skeptics, which I can understand to some extent. They’re outright deniers in that they work under the assumption that the whole study of climate change is a hoax or some environmentalist conspiracy.

Now, not everyone in that camp is a stupid asshole grifter who probably leans conservative and has connections to oil companies. Those people are certainly there and they deserve plenty of scorn. At the same time, I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt to some who just can’t see the forest from the trees.

To the latter, I’d like to share my own personal testimony that I hope will improve your understanding of the topic. Whether you believe it or not, climate change is a serious issue that could have serious consequences for billions of people all over the world. We can and should do something about it while we still have time.

I say that as someone who has been hearing about these environmental for most of his life. When I was a kid, I grew up watching cartoons that often threw in a few pro-environment messages. There were even shows that presented global warming as a serious issue and I’m not just talking about “Captain Planet.”

As a kid, I didn’t understand much of the science. Even most of the adults I talked to didn’t understand it. Some showed concern, but most weren’t inclined to give it much credence. Some even thought it was all just environmentalist propaganda.

It didn’t help that many of them lived in parts of the country where the weather didn’t change considerably from season to season. Many lived in the southern United States where they rarely got snow or cold temperatures of any kind. If the Earth was getting warmer, they weren’t going to notice.

The same could be said for the family I had living in the north. Some lived in areas that got a lot of snow. Talk to them about global warming and they’d be more likely to welcome it, often joking about how they wouldn’t mind shoveling less snow every winter.

Again, both these perspectives miss the forest from the trees. Climate, by definition, doesn’t focus on weather from day to day or even year to year. It tracks temperatures and conditions over a long span of time. For people who don’t pay attention or live in areas with relatively bland weather, it can be hard to sense.

For where I live, however, that’s not the case. I live in the Mid-Atlantic area of the United States. It’s an area that sees a wide range of conditions between winter and summer. I’ve lived through summers where it has been over 100 degrees for weeks on end. I’ve also lived through winters that have had multiple blizzards. I’ve experienced both extremes.

As a result, I take notice when those extreme change considerably. It doesn’t happen all at once. Sometimes, it’s subtle to the point where you don’t realize it until years later. Now, given my age and how long I’ve been living in this area, I can safely say that I have felt the affects of climate change.

It has only become obvious to me over the past few years. In that time, I’ve really taken note of how mild every winter has been lately. It used to be things got pretty brisk in mid-October. In the weeks before Halloween, I had to stop wearing shorts and keep a sweatshirt handy. For the past couple years, it only seems to get chilly for a couple of days. Then, it’s up over 70 degrees again.

The winter months have been even more noticeable. When I was a kid, it rarely snowed in December, outside a few rare occasions. However, it was still usually cold, so much so that I had to wear a heavy coat for most days. These days, it has rarely gotten overly cold. I can go almost the entire month of December without having to wear more than a sweatshirt.

It’s still January and February that have been the most noticeable. For so many years, right up until 2015, I could usually count on at least two significant snowstorms. They were rarely full-blown blizzards, but it was still common to see some snow on the ground for the majority of the month.

That has changed considerably in recent years. In my area, there hasn’t been a significant snowstorm in over five years. The most we’ve gotten is, at most, four inches in a single storm. It usually turns to rain and melts within a day.

It’s a hell of a contrast to the winters I remember. Add that to summers that feel hotter and more humid for longer stretches of time and there’s no getting around it.

Climate change is real.

I’ve felt it. I’ve witnessed it. I’m seeing it happen within my lifetime.

I understand that climate involves weather patterns over a long period of time, often exceeding that of a typical human lifetime. However, even if it is anecdotal, I’ve still felt it. That’s deeply concerning to me. Even if it means I don’t have to shovel snow quite as often, it’s still cause for concern.

If the climate is changing that much in this span of time, then I think that’s going to be a bigger problem as time goes on. Moreover, it’s a problem we shouldn’t ignore or underscore. Regardless of your politics, you’re going to be affected by the weather, whether you like it or not.

Much of our civilization depends on weather patterns that are stable and consistent. Climate change will disrupt that stability. We might be able to adapt to some extent, but not if it happens all at once. In that instance, it could lead to a lot of upheaval and suffering. At that point, it’ll be too late.

Now, I’m not qualified to know what the best solutions are. I know they do exist and we need to invest in them because if we don’t, it could end up costing us much more in the future and not just in terms of money.

Regardless of how you feel about modern science, at least consider this personal testimony. Climate change is real. It’s happening. It could potentially lead to some serious problems down the line. Now is not the time to whine about the shortcomings of science. We all live on this planet together. Let’s do what we can to keep it comfortable.

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November 25, 2021 · 8:56 am

A Thankful Message For Thanksgiving 2021

The following is a video from my YouTube channel, Jack’s World. It’s just a brief message of thanks for all those who have helped my channel grow so much over the past year-and-a-half, as well as a personal story to help get everyone in the Thanksgiving spirit. Enjoy!

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November 13, 2021 · 8:22 am

How I Messed With A Telemarketer (And Why I Don’t Feel Bad About It)

How Telemarketers are Stealing Your Time (and How to Stop Them)

There’s a lot of hate in this world. People hate others in such horrible ways for all the wrong reasons. It’s so damaging, destructive, and dehumanizing on so many levels. Hate is what causes otherwise decent people to commit gross atrocities against others. We should do whatever we can to reduce the amount of hate in this world.

All that being said, I fucking hate telemarketers.

Seriously, fuck every telemarketer on this planet.

There aren’t many targets of hate that are fully deserving of such hatred. Telemarkters are a select few. They’re right up there with spammers, hackers, and whoever keeps making insurance commercials. I still believe we should have compassion for our fellow humans, but if you’re going to hate anyone, hate telemarketers.

I bring this up because I’ve had more than my share of run-ins with them. Lately, there has been quite an uptick in both robocalls and telemarketers. Even though I repeatedly and angrily ask that I be put on the “Do Not Call” list, it doesn’t seem to stop them. They still call me and they find ways to make it seem like the call is coming from a local area.

We may not agree on much, as a society. Can we at least agree that these telemarketers are the fucking worst?

Now, I think I understand why there’s been such an uptick lately. In my area, there has been a noticeable uptick in people wanting to move in. I happen to live in a region where a lot of smaller, non-luxury style condos are going up and they’re located near some large retail centers. Since the pandemic, these types of units have been selling fast because they’re further from the city, they’re cheaper, and we have great internet. I’ve yet to see a unit stay on the market for more than two weeks.

Naturally, I’m getting a lot of calls from telemarketers asking if I’m willing to sell my current home or refinance. Most of them are pretty generic. Some are robocalls and some are just people trying to get my info. I hate every one of them, but at least with telemarketers, you can tell them to fuck off.

This leads me to a recent incident that I’d like to share. It involves a telemarketer who called me just after I’d gone to the gym and was still sore. I was not in the mood for their bullshit.

That didn’t stop them from calling.

It never stops them from calling.

However, rather than just hang up or cuss them out, I decided to mess with them this time. As soon as I realized this wasn’t a robocall, I decided that if I’m going to be annoyed by this shit, I might as well have some fun with it. How I went about that might have been in poor taste to some extent, but I don’t feel bad about it.

It went a little something like this:

Telemarketer: Hello! Am I speaking to Jack?

Me: Um…yes? Who is this?

Telemarketer: Hi! My name is [Asshole] and I’m with [Bullshit Company Name]. How are you?

Me: I’m fine. What’s this about?

Telemarketer: Well, we’re calling because we’re interested in helping you sell your house. We have…

Me: Really? WOW! That’s incredible! This is really something else. Please [Asshole], can I speak with your manager?

Telemarketer: Uh…what?

Me: Your manager. I’d love to speak to your manager right now. Because this is just so amazing.

Telemarketer: Why? What for?

Me: Well, I did not ask for this call. I did not consent to this call. And now I want to speak to your manager to tell them what an incredibly amazing asshole fuck you are. Please, transfer me. I’ll wait!

Telemarketer: Um…he’ll call you back.

Was I a little mean? Yes, I probably was.

Was I overly vulgar? Yes, I definitely was.

Do I feel bad about anything I said? No, I do not.

Again, I did not authorize this call. I did not consent to this call. I have repeatedly put my number on the “Do Not Call” list. These assholes still called me and wasted my time with this bullshit. As far as I’m concerned, if they’re not going to do the decent thing and respect my request, then I’m not going to bother being decent with them.

To whoever was on the other end of that call, I don’t apologize. I regret nothing. Fuck you. Get a job that doesn’t require you to harass people.

To anyone else who has ever fucked with a telemarketer, please share your experience and join me in hating these assholes like they deserve.

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November 5, 2021 · 5:51 am

How I Dealt With A Bully (And Why I Don’t Recommend It)

Should You Confront Your Old Bully?

Bullies suck. I think most of us can agree on that. Those who don’t probably haven’t been on the receiving end of a bully at some point in their lives. They’re the lucky ones. Most of us can’t rely on that kind of luck.

Now, before I go any further, I want to make clear that this isn’t some generic anti-bullying PSA. There are already way too many of those and even if their intentions are good, they don’t always send the right message.

That has been my experience with these campaigns. They claim to understand the dynamics of bullying. They offer a list of responses and recourses, some of which are more helpful than others. Some are downright counterproductive. They all miss one key detail.

Every bullying situation is different.

Every bully is different.

Every target of a bully is different.

The dynamics behind every instance of bullying is different.

In short, not every case of bullying plays out the same way and there’s no one proper way to deal with it. Not every bully is Biff Tannen and not every victim is George McFly. One well-placed punch isn’t going to completely rectify a situation. Just ignoring it won’t rectify it, either.

With that in mind, I’d like to share another personal story about how I dealt with a bully. It’s not nearly as dramatic as you might see in the movies, but it worked out in my favor for the most part. In fact, to say it worked out might be a bit of a stretch. You’ll understand why when you hear the details.

This incident played out when I was in the 9th grade. It was not a good time for me. I was depressed, socially awkward, and had pretty much no self-esteem. I also had a bad attitude that made me fairly unpopular and an easy target. In hindsight, I think it was only a matter of time before a bully found me.

For the sake of this story, let’s call this kid Don. He was no Biff Tannen, but he was a real asshole. This kid was my age, but he was behind the curve when it came to maturity. He and a bunch of like-minded friends liked to goof off, screw with people, and do their own thing. They weren’t exactly caricatures from 80s teen movies, but they were close.

As it just so happened, Don rode the same bus as I did. In fact, he got off at the same stop that I did. He lived less than two blocks from me. Due to that proximity, he took an interest in me. He started teasing me and asking dumb, embarrassing questions. Sometimes he did it on the bus. Sometimes he did it in the middle of a class. Whenever he did it, I hated it.

Me being the immature, self-loathing kid that I was, I didn’t deal with it very well. I often tried to tell him off. I cussed him out. That only seemed to encourage him. I never tried to fight him, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted.

It also helped, somewhat, that I wasn’t in good shape and would probably lose that fight. Don was no athlete, but he was bigger than me and willing to do dumb shit to win. I had no advantages, whatsoever.

I still wanted it to stop. I had enough problems in my life. I didn’t need to deal with Don and his antics. I wasn’t sure how I was going to deal with it. I got some advice from the adults in my life. They often told me to just ignore him and avoid him. If he ever laid a hand on me, then I should go to a school administrator. I didn’t want it to get to that point.

Unfortunately, ignoring Don didn’t make him stop. If anything, it encouraged him to keep doing it. He didn’t get bored. He just saw someone he could tease and get away with. That wasn’t something the anti-bullying PSAs told me.

At some point, I had to respond. Yelling at him wasn’t working. Trying to politely ask him to stop wasn’t working. This was an immature knuckle-head who wasn’t going to be reasoned with. If I was going to respond, it had to be very blunt and very effective.

It finally came to ahead one day on the bus. We were waiting to leave to go home for the day. Like he had before, Don decided to move up to my seat and start harassing me. I don’t remember what he said. I just remember he wouldn’t go away. He kept asking me these dumb question and teasing me when I didn’t respond.

He just would not stop and he would not leave. I was tempted to punch him in the face, but I knew that probably wouldn’t pan out. If I threw the first punch, then I would be blamed for everything. I may have been young, but I knew how school politics work.

Finally, I decided to respond.

I didn’t punch him.

I didn’t break something he had on him.

Instead, I just looked at him with as much hate as I could muster and I spit right in his eye.

At that moment, Don’s goofy and immature demeanor disappeared in an instant. He turned away to rub his eye. I wasn’t sure if he was crying or anything. At the time, I honestly didn’t care. I didn’t move from where I sat. I just remained where I sat, waiting for a response.

Eventually, I got it. He tried to spit at me too. He missed, only hitting my ear. After that, he left and went to the back of the bus with his friends.

That was it.

That was the end of it. Don never talked to me ever again.

Now, I do not recommend anyone do that with a bully. Spitting in someone’s eye isn’t as bad as a punch, but it still counts as assault. Had Don gone to a school administrator, he could’ve gotten me into a lot of trouble. However, he didn’t and I think I know why. He would’ve had to explain why the situation got so heated and since he instigated it, he would’ve gotten in trouble too.

Even so, I’m not proud of what I did. I didn’t feel better about myself. I doubt Don felt better, either. Had there been more witnesses or had someone reported us, it could’ve gotten much worse. At the same time, I could’ve handled that much better, even for a moody teenager.

Again, do not take this as advice for dealing with a bully. There’s a good chance it will not work out as well as it did for me. I got lucky in this case. Don’t expect to get that lucky when dealing with a bully.

Also, Don, if you’re reading this, I apologize for spitting in your eye. However, you were still a huge asshole.

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November 1, 2021 · 5:48 am

A Brief Message To Those Who Threaten Election Workers And Officials

Ballot box fabricator navigates unprecedented demand for early voting

Fuck you.

Seriously, fuck you and fuck your bullshit excuses for doing something so stupid, cruel, and outright un-American.

Fuck you and your ass-backwards definition of patriotism.

I apologize for the harsh language, but sometimes some extra profanity is both justified and necessary to get the point across. In general, I try to be fair and understanding, especially for touchy issues that include hot-button political topics. I always make it a point to offer respect to those who might not agree with me on certain topics, be they abortion or religion.

I just can’t do that here.

I just can’t muster a shred of sympathy or understanding to people who go out of their way to harass, threaten, and denigrate the people who volunteer their time and energy to ensure American democracy functions.

In case you’re not aware of this deplorable trend, this has actually been an ongoing issue since the 2020 election. A sizable segment of the American population did not like how that election turned out and, like whiny children who didn’t get their way, those same people have been lashing out ever since. Then again, most children don’t make death threats to public officials, so I’m hesitant to call them childish.

Now, I’ve actively avoided this topic since the end of 2020. I’ve seen time and again how it brings out the worst people and the ugliest kind of politics. There’s really no convincing anyone something other than what they’ve come to dogmatically believe. They only ever consume news that tells them what they want to hear and assume every fact to the contrary is a lie.

Usually, I’m perfectly fine with someone living inside their own bubble, provided that they don’t harm anyone else. This is America. We can believe whatever we’d like. However, I draw a hard line when those beliefs become an excuse for making threats to election workers and people who volunteer in the name of democracy.

Some of these threats aren’t vague, either. Here is one story from Reuters that offers some rather graphic examples.

Here’s another video from CNBC. Again, the examples they give are pretty damn graphic.

There are plenty more I could give, but this news is upsetting enough. I don’t care what your political affiliation is or how you voted in the last election or several. This is not how civilized people in a functioning democracy conduct themselves. This isn’t even how children conduct themselves at a little league baseball game.

This is fucking outrageous.

If you are a proud American and actually value the principles of democracy, then I hope this upsets you. These aren’t people with a political agenda being threatened. These are just ordinary Americans doing their jobs. Threatening them because you don’t like how the numbers are panning out doesn’t make you a patriot. It makes you an asshole.

Again, fuck those people.

Fuck them and all their un-American values.

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October 30, 2021 · 8:42 am

On The Eve Of Halloween: Some Scary (Possibly) True Stories From Reddit

Hope everyone has their costumes ready and their candy bowls filled. Tomorrow is Halloween! For some, there are already plenty of activities for today and tonight. There are spooky Halloween parties to attend and horror movie marathons to watch. I certainly have some plans of my own. After last year, I want to make the most out of Halloween.

So, in that spirit and in an effort to get everyone’s spine tingling in all the right ways, I’d like to share some scary stories. However, these aren’t just your typical campfire stories. These stories come courtesy of r/AskReddit, one of my favorite subs to browse. There are plenty of stories and discussions on that sub that are funny, gross, and sexy. My personal favorite, however, are the ones with a spooky twist.

People have their share of scary life experiences. Some are more fanciful than others, but a few are truly disturbing. Even if you’re not a believer in the paranormal, they still strike a chord, especially around this time of year. Now, that’s not to say you should take every story at face value. People do lie on the internet or exaggerate the truth. That’s something we should always keep in mind when reading stories on the internet, especially on a site like Reddit.

That doesn’t make the stories any less engaging. In some cases, it might even make them scarier. So, I found a couple of videos from a new Reddit-based channel I discovered, Reddit Aliens. This channel specializes in the spookier side of Reddit and knows how to pick some of the best scary stories from the sub. So, for those looking for a good jump scare before the Halloween festivities, I hope this helps. Enjoy!

Here’s another one purporting to contain scary true stories.

Here’s one more video that focuses on stories in the mold of a CreepyPasta, which I’ve recently grown fond of.

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October 25, 2021 · 5:50 am

Recounting My Fondest Halloween Memories: When Johnny Bravo Met Han Solo

Watch Johnny Bravo Season 1 | Prime Video

Halloween is almost upon us. Unlike last year, we might actually get to enjoy it this time. Even if you’re not a big fan of dressing up or hearing The Monster Mash every five minutes, I encourage everyone to get out there and enjoy this holiday.

Whether it involved dressing up, trick-or-treating, passing out candy, or watching horror movies, I say go the extra mile this year. Be a little more elaborate with your costume. Drink a little extra pumpkin ale. Give out more candy than usual. Seriously, after last year, we all need it.

I certainly have plans this year. I really do want to make the most of Halloween this year. In the spirit of inspiring others, I’d like to share one of my fondest Halloween memories from when I was a kid. This is a memory my parents and siblings probably know, too. I hope they are just as fond of it as me.

For this particular Halloween, I was still in grade school. I was also finally at an age where I could go trick-or-treating without my parents having to be chaperones. The only stipulation they gave was that, if I went out trick-or-treating, I had to go with a friend. Thankfully, I had that covered, courtesy of a friend who lived three houses down.

We both made it a point to be ambitious this year. We were going to try and get to as many houses as possible and maximize our haul of candy. I distinctly remember us plotting out how we would cover every block in our neighborhood. It was probably the most excited I’d ever been for Halloween.

In terms of costumes, my friend and I kept things simple. He dressed up as Han Solo, complete with a vest, boots, and a fake blaster. Him being a Star Wars fan, that was hardly surprising. For me, I dressed up as Johnny Bravo. If you had been watching Cartoon Network at all during this time, as I had, chances are you were familiar with him.

His style was simple, but his personality was what stood out. He basically carried himself like Elvis Presley, Bruce Lee, and the Fonz. Since I wasn’t the most extroverted kid in the world, it was a stark contrast from my usual persona. I still embraced it in the spirit of Halloween.

Like my friend, my costume was simple. I just put on a pair of blue jeans, a tight black shirt, and a pair of sunglasses. To fully complete the look, I doused my hair with hair gel and slicked it back so that I had that distinctly Bravo look.

It wasn’t perfect or in the mold of a professional cosplayer, but it was still serviceable for a kid my age. It also gave me an excuse to talk like Elvis for an entire night. I’m not gonna lie. I had a lot of fun with that. Remember, I was a pretty shy kid growing up. Me being that outgoing was a major shift. It was jarring, but in a good way.

With our costumes ready, my friend and I ventured out as soon as the sun set. It certainly helped that the weather that night was perfect Halloween weather. It was cool and crisp. There weren’t any clouds in the sky and we had a full moon. It was as perfect a Halloween setting as you could get without a psycho in a hockey mask.

My friend and I took full advantage of that weather. We started hitting houses as soon as we could, starting on our own block and working our way out. We were thorough, but efficient. We didn’t linger too much. We just showed off our costumes, got our candy, and moved on.

It was as perfect demonstration of just how effective trick-or-treating could be for a couple kids our age. I’m genuinely proud of how much ground we covered and how much candy we got.

We still found time to have a bit of fun. Most of the houses we visited recognized my friend as being Han Solo. They weren’t as sure about me. I had to explain to them who Johnny Bravo was, which often involved me dropping some lines from the show.

At times, I was a bit more animated than necessary, but I make no apologies for that. I also like to think those people still know who Johnny Bravo is to this day. They may have never seen the cartoon, but they remember the trick-or-treater who visited them that night.

Overall, my friend and I were out for nearly two hours that night. We ended up almost entirely filling our pillowcases with candy. I don’t remember how much of it we ate that night, but I remember it being extra delicious. The fact that we worked so hard to get so much out of Halloween that year just made it so much sweeter.

After that, there were other Halloween festivities. There were other costumes and other elaborate trick-or-treating efforts. However, none were quite as successful as that fateful night. On a night when Han Solo teamed up with Johnny Bravo, we created the ultimate Halloween experience and for that, I am proud and thankful for my friend.

He knows who he is. I don’t know if he’ll read this, but I hope he remembers that night as fondly as I do. I also hope that inspires others to make the same effort for this Halloween that my friend and I did all those years ago. Also, I can safely say all that candy went to good use.

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October 22, 2021 · 5:44 am

Dumbest Things Religious People Call “Satanic” (According To Reddit)

In the past, I’ve been very critical of organized religion and certain religious tenants. I still stand by those criticisms because I think they’re worth making. There are a lot of inconsistencies, injustices, and hypocrisies that motivated by religion. They should be pointed out, especially by those who consider themselves religious.

Even within those criticisms, I make it a point to say that most religious people are genuinely good people. They do not deserve scorn or denigration for believing what they believe. I have religious people in my family. They are kind, loving people and religion helps enrich their lives in so many ways. I would never want to take that from them.

At the same time, there are people who use their religion to justify absurdities, atrocities, and everything in between. Now, you don’t have to look far to find the atrocities, but those tend to be both depressing and overdone. Most people with an internet connection are aware of them.

With that in mind, I’d like to take a moment to focus on the absurdities, if only because they tend to be more hilarious. Specifically, I want to focus on instances where religious people take their doctrines so seriously that they condemn certain things they don’t like as “satanic.”

It’s not a new phenomenon. In fact, so-called “Satanic Panics” have happened many times before. Sadly, we may be in the middle of another one. They’re often taken way too seriously by all the wrong people. Eventually, it comes out that they’re entirely fueled by absurdity.

However, I don’t think enough people appreciate just how absurd it can get. With that in mind, I’d like to share a video that documents people who have seen religious zealots condemn something mundane as Satanic. It comes courtesy of the YouTube channel, OnTap Studios.

Some of these stories are hilarious. Others are disturbing. Also, Pokémon comes up more than once.

Whether you’re religious or not, I encourage you to listen to these stories and determine for yourself just how absurd these Satanic sensationalisms go. Enjoy!

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September 28, 2021 · 5:37 am

My Old Backpack And Why I Can’t Throw It Away

Tips to Ensure your Backpack Lasts Longer - ICSB 2007

We all have certain possessions that mean something to us. They don’t always have to be family heirlooms or valuable collectables. Sometimes, we grow attached to certain things that don’t have any real value outside their use. If anyone else had the same thing, they probably would throw it away without a second thought.

It’s not a matter of hoarding, which is an objectively unhealthy habit when done in excess. It’s a matter of just attaching sentimental value for something in an unexpected way.

I bring all this up because something strange happened recently. After coming back from my vacation to the beach, I thought it was high time I buy a new backpack. Actually, that’s just me being polite. I was exceedingly overdue to buy a new means of carrying small items to nearby places.

That’s because, for reasons I don’t have a good explanation for, I’ve been using the same backpack since my senior year of high school. I don’t remember the exact day I bought that backpack, but I can safely surmise it’s nearly 20 years old. To get an idea of just how old it is, it still has a special pocket for flip phones.

I know I probably just dated myself there, but I’m trying to illustrate an important point. That backpack has served me well for many years. I used it through my entire college career. I used it through multiple jobs and careers. I used it while moving several times to new places. It has carried comics, laptops, and any number of critically important items over the years.

Basically, if it was something I had to keep close, it went in my backpack and that backpack never left my side for too long. If it sounds like I’m overstating the value of this thing, I apologize. It’s nothing fancy. It’s just a backpack, but it literally helped carry me through my entire adult life.

Along the way, it stayed intact and durable. In terms of mundane the possessions I’ve owned, it held up better than almost anything from that long ago.

None of my clothes have lasted that long.

None of my gadgets have lasted that long.

Hell, this backpack has outlived most dogs.

Even though I ultimately bought a new one, it’s still relatively intact. Granted, some parts of it have seen some wear and tear. There are some areas that are faded. There are also some parts that have become a bit torn. However, all the zippers still work and all the compartments are still usable. If I had to, I could still take it out of my closet and use it.

Perhaps it’s because it held up for so long that I can’t bring myself to throw it away. I had it with me during some major milestones in my life. It kept me organized and equipped for some major challenges and memorable trips. My life may have changed a great deal since I bought it, but it has remained one of the few constants.

I think, for that reason, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to throw it away anytime soon. I even remember having strange feelings when my new backpack arrived. Once I took it out and cleaned out my old backpack, I found myself just holding it up and looking at it for a good couple of minutes.

It had been a long time since it was completely empty. In holding it like that, I remembered how much I’d used it over the years and how much it helped me in so many ways. For something that wasn’t expensive, flashy, or stylish, it did more than I ever could’ve hoped. How many other possessions can we say that for?

Even though the new backpack I got is considerably better in terms of size, features, and storage, it just doesn’t have the same history as my old backpack. Hopefully, it lasts just as long and carries me through just as many ordeals. Even if it does, I may still have my old backpack lying around somewhere. I may still have it years from now.

If it sounds like I’m making too big a deal about a simple backpack, I apologize. I just wanted to share this strange experience because I think it’s something a lot of people encounter over the course of their lives. They come across some mundane possession and grow attached to it for reasons they don’t understand.

Years later, even after they’ve upgraded to something better, they just can’t bring themselves to throw it away. Maybe it’s a watch, a coffee mug, a footrest, or a blanket. Whatever it is, it means something to us personally. Even if it didn’t cost much when we bought it, it became valuable to us in unexpected ways.

For me, it happened with a simple backpack that I bought during high school. For others, it might have been something else. Having shared my story about my backpack, I welcome anyone with a similar experience to share theirs in the comments. What have you owned that gained unexpected personal value? Whatever it was, I hope it served you as well as my old backpack.

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