This is a video from my YouTube channel, Jack’s World.
And in the spirit of Thanksgiving, this video is a special message from me to those I’m thankful for. Enjoy!
Tag Archives: family
Why I Love Being An Uncle
Not to long ago, I honestly wondered if me and my siblings would ever get around to having kids. Even after we all moved out of our parents’ house and built our own lives, I wasn’t sure if that was ever a consideration.
For me, personally, I was way behind the curve. Every one of my siblings is objectively better than me when it comes to social skills. They’ve always had an easier time making friends and finding romantic partners. I’m pretty sure if you asked them, my parents, or my friends, they would agree that I would probably be the last one to have kids.
It still hasn’t happened for me. Maybe that’ll change in the future. But for my siblings, the change came sooner rather than later. In the mid-2010s, one of my sisters was the first announce that she was pregnant. It was a hell of a moment. I’m pretty sure that, of everyone present when she made that announcement, I made the goofiest face.
I don’t know if my sister or her husband reads my website, but I suspect she would agree. I may never look that goofy again.
And when that fateful day came and her first child was born, it was an incredibly joyous moment for the whole family. It also made it official. I was an uncle now! And I quickly came to embrace that role.
I knew the day when I first held my sister’s baby boy that I would strive to be the best uncle I could be. I wouldn’t just be the cool uncle or the fun uncle. I would be the kind of uncle that they would be excited to see at every visit. That’s what I started working towards that fateful day.
It’s been challenging.
It’s been a never-ending process, at times.
But I can say without reservation that it’s totally worth it.
Since then, my sister has had another child. My younger brother and his wife also welcomed a couple kids of their own. They’re all still very young, rowdy, and energetic. But they’re old enough to recognize when Uncle Jack comes to visit. They know me by name. They know me by my voice, my facial hair, and the various shirts I wear depicting comic book characters and sports teams. And I never hesitate to give them a big hug.
I also don’t hesitate to spoil them. That’s something my siblings knew I was going to do. They would’ve been shocked if I hadn’t.
I do it every Christmas. I will usually be the one who gets my nieces and nephews the most elaborate gifts. One year, I got my nephew a miniature ball pit. I cannot overstate how much value that gift has had over the years. Another, I got him and my niece a miniature trampoline. Given how energetic they are, I don’t doubt that has gotten quite a bit of use.
There are times when it’s painfully clear I don’t know much about parenting. Like I said, I’m behind the curve in that regard. And I don’t know if or when I’ll catch up. But I like to think I’ve learned how to be an awesome uncle in my own right.
If there was one moment, in particular, that solidified my love of being an uncle, it happened during this warm summer day in my parents’ backyard. We were having a family get-together, which happens often with a family like mine. We don’t need much incentive to get together and have fun. My nephew was around two at the time. He was walking and running around, albeit with the coordination you would expect of a two-year-old. But that didn’t stop us from having fun.
So, while his parents were getting some food, I took this soccer ball they’d brought and started bouncing it off my head. I don’t know what prompted me to do that. I just know that when my nephew saw it, he thought it was the greatest thing. He laughed and smiled while running around to get the ball. And I kept trying to bounce it off my head towards him. He tried to catch it, but had limited success. That didn’t matter though. We had fun and I like to think I made a good impression that day.
Since then, I’ve built on that impression. I love reading comics to my niece and nephew. I love watching sports with them, teaching them how to cheer for our favorite team. I love chasing them around, pretending I’m a T-Rex. And I love hearing them laugh every step of the way.
I know being an uncle has its limits. I honestly don’t know if I could match the energy my siblings have to keep up with their kids, especially at their current age. But that just makes me respect and love them even more. It also motivates me to be the best uncle I can be for them.
When those kids get older, they’re going to grow into a strange, uncertain world that’s constantly changing. But one thing that won’t change is the fact that they have an awesome uncle.
Filed under Jack Fisher's Insights, Uncategorized
Some Quick Gift Advice For Holiday Shopping
The holiday season is officially here!
Saying that should no longer earn any whining or complaints about Christmas displays going up too early. It’s December now. All our Thanksgiving leftovers have since gone bad. It’s perfectly acceptable to fully embrace the spirit and aesthetics of the season. Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, at least acknowledge that it’s now entirely appropriate to engage in any number of holiday activities.
I know that’s easy for a guy like me to say. I’ve said before that I take Christmas more seriously than most. I’m the kind of guy who has his Christmas tree up and decorated by Halloween. I’m also the kind of guy who tries to finish all his Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. As I write this, I am done. I’ve completed my shopping and most of those gifts are already wrapped.
I understand this makes me an outlier or an overachiever. I also understand that while many people do have their decorations up, their Christmas shopping may not be over or even started.
Seriously, if you haven’t started your Christmas shopping yet, you’re bound to make it more stressful in the long run. It’s getting to a point where you might be pushing it with respect to finding that special gift for that special someone.
But what exactly goes into a great gift? That’s actually something I’ve learned and refined over the years. I’ve talked about it before, but I feel I should expand on it a bit. I notice that, as I’ve gotten older, it gets a bit harder to buy meaningful Christmas gifts. At a certain age, your family and loved ones really don’t need much from you anymore, aside from your presence and your love during this special time of year.
I know it sounds cheesy, but make no mistake. That really does matter. Just being there and being present on Christmas is often the best gift you can give for some people. That’s all well and good. But like I said, I try to overachieve on the holidays. That means I’ll still try to get that special someone a gift. Sometimes, it’s easy because my friends and family will actually provide a list for me. I always appreciate that and I encourage others to make it easier for their loved ones in that regard.
Granted, sometimes I do have to bug my family and friends for that list, but it’s often worthwhile. You just have to be patient with them, especially the ones with kids. Sometimes, you will end up buying something that the kids love, but the parents hate. As someone with multiple nieces and nephews, I can confirm this conflict. I can also confirm it often makes for great holiday memories.
That being said, I do have some new advice to share for those still struggling to complete their Christmas shopping. Since we’re getting into the heart of the holiday season, I think the time is right to share this. So, here are a few extra tips that I hope will help.
Tip #1: Bigger might not always be better, but sentimental is always better. Don’t just get a gift you think someone wants. Make sure there’s some sentimental aspect behind it, be it a personal photo or something that conjures a memory. An inexpensive baseball glove can sometimes become a kid’s most prized possession if he grows to love baseball.
Tip #2: Customize a gift if possible. You can buy all types of earrings, bracelets, and necklaces. Most do little to stand out. But one that happens to be engraved with a quote from a loved one or an image of a friend can make it all the more valuable. Even a cheap keychain can be made special if it has a picture of someone’s first child.
Tip #3: Consider the fun factor. For kids and adults alike, don’t just think about how expensive or popular a gift is. Consider how much fun you’ll have with it. A toy is only as great as the fun it conjures. The same goes for adults. A book is all well and good, but a loved one might have a lot more fun with a deck of Cards Against Humanity.
Tip #4: A gift can also be an experience. Some people don’t care much for material gifts. They’re more inclined to embrace experiences. That’s why concert tickets or tickets to a sporting event can be very memorable. One year, a relative of mine got tickets to opening day for the baseball season. He still ranks it as one of his favorite gifts of all time. You can even get creative with the presentation. Put the gift in a big box and weigh it down with rocks. That’ll be both surprising and memorable.
Tip #5: Supplement a big gift with something smaller. Sometimes, a big gift is definitely the way to go. But it works even better if you can supplement it somehow. If you buy a pitching net for a kid, add in some new baseballs or a new glove. Let the gifts have both a personal touch and an overall experience. It shows you’re willing to put in the extra effort.
Tip #6: Use every opportunity for a surprise. You can get someone a mundane gift that they asked for. That’s all well and good. But if you see an opportunity to surprise them in a good way, take it. I know someone who once got a book he asked for, but there were concert tickets in the cover. Their reaction was just priceless.
These are just a few tips from a veteran holiday enthusiast. I hope they help you in your holiday shopping this year and in future years. Take it from me. A great gift can have an impact that goes far beyond the holidays.
Happy Holidays and Happy Holiday Shopping!
Filed under Current Events
Thanksgiving 2022: A Thankful Message With Hopeful Sentiments
The following is a video from my YouTube channel, Jack’s World. This video is just a brief message of thanks to friends, family, and those who have supported me and this this channel in the spirit of the holidays. Enjoy!
Filed under Jack's World, YouTube
Happy Easter 2022!
Today is Easter Sunday.
I know it’s not the most elaborate holiday. I also know it is founded in certain religious traditions, which may or may not apply to familiar festivities. It may not be a holiday on the same level as Christmas, Halloween, or even Arbor Day in terms of profile, but it’s still special holiday to many.
For me, personally, Easter has always had some unique connotations. For a family like mine, we never need too many excuses to get together and celebrate. We’ll use any excuse to just craft an elaborate feast and invite everyone we can to a certain location. It’s just how we connect, celebrate one another, and enjoy one another’s company.
Over the years, I’ve really come to appreciate that. I have some genuinely fond memories of Easter Sundays with my family. When I was a kid, it usually involved a big Easter Egg hunt with me, my siblings, and my many cousins. As an adult, it usually involves a nice feast that gives me a good excuse to cook fancy deserts that my friends and family love and cherish. The religious connotations are secondary. It’s the family moments we create that matter.
After the past two years, with the COVID-19 pandemic disrupting every single tradition we hold dear, I’ve come to appreciate those moments even more. This year will mark the first time my family has been able to enjoy a proper Easter Sunday gathering. For that, I am grateful and I intend to cherish it.
So, regardless of how you view this day, I hope everyone has a chance to do something special today. Even if it’s just something as simple as eating Easter themed candy, use today to celebrate. You don’t have to be religious or understand the elaborate history of the day. You just have to be willing to share a special moment with friends and loved ones. That’s what makes any holiday special.
With all that being said, I wish everyone a safe and happy Easter Sunday.
Filed under Current Events, Jack Fisher's Insights
Finding Love Has Become An Extended Job Interview (And For Good, Yet Unromantic Reasons)
Being a self-professed romantic and an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I often scrutinize the nature of romance more than most. Whereas some might watch a movie or TV show and see the basics of a romantic sub-plot, I’ll dig much deeper. I’ll identify which romances are inherently flawed, why some work beautifully, and why love triangles are inherently awful.
That scrutiny goes beyond media, popular culture, and my own efforts to tell a good love story. I often find myself observing how romance unfolds in real life. Whether it’s how people have pursued romance in the past to my own romantic endeavors, there’s a lot to break down and it doesn’t always make sense. Love isn’t known for being rational, after all.
It’s because of this tendency of mine that I notice things that rarely come up in discussions about romance. Recently, I realized something profound while reading several stories about how modern dating has changed in recent years, of which there are many.
Modern romance has become more a job interview than an emotional journey.
I imagine some will roll their eyes at that notion. Some might even agree with it and not need any convincing. A few probably think I’m giving this too much thought, even for a romance fan. That may be a fair point, but I believe the evolution of modern romance is becoming a lot less romantic.
To be fair, finding has undergone many upheavals throughout history. It wasn’t until the past couple centuries that people actually married for love. Those who claim to champion “traditional” marriage probably aren’t aware that marriage and formal relationships were little more than passionless business contracts for most of human history.
Love and romance were always there. We, as human beings, are hardwired to form loving bonds. It just took different forms and people went about it in very different ways. Most people have a general idea of how people go about it today. It tends to go something like this.
- Two people meet, either in person or online
- There’s a spark of attraction
- They both pursue each other
- They go on dates to learn about one another and explore their romantic connection
- If the connection is strong enough, they forge a lasting relationship and build a life together
Granted, this is an exceedingly gross simplification. It still covers most of the basics. That’s the problem, though. It only deals with the basics and people are rarely basic.
It starts shortly after a mutual attraction is established. Once two people start pursuing one another, the dating phase starts. Movies, TV shows, and romance novels tend to be vague about how this unfolds. However, it’s here where the parallels with job interviews start to show.
While a love story may depict candle-lit dinners, coordinated dancing, and intimate gestures, the bulk of that process tends to involve more pragmatic acts. For two people to understand whether they’re romantically compatible, they need to get to know one another. To get to know one another, they need to interact.
That, in and of itself, doesn’t make dating indistinguishable from a job interview. For that, the modern structure of relationships is what fosters that and I’m not just referring to marriage. This affects couples who cohabitate, as well as those who are serial monogamists.
From a logistical standpoint, a modern romance has many moving parts. It’s not enough to just be attracted to one another, enjoy each other’s company, or have great sex. People often have to find a way to fit one another into their lives. There are jobs, career aspirations, and living situations to consider.
These days, people aren’t as likely to stay in the same place they were born in, especially if the opportunities in that town are limited. The same goes for their families. Even if they stay, sometimes their parents or extended family move away. Maybe it’s for retirement, going to college, or pursuing their own romantic interests. Having to accommodate all that into a relationship can be daunting.
In the same way you might be qualified for a job, but not in a position to take it, you might find yourself in a similar relationship with romance. All the emotional, physical, and sexual chemistry is there. However, you’re just not in a position to pursue it. You can’t maintain that relationship when you’re both living in other time zones or pursuing different paths.
That’s not to say long distance relationships can’t work, but it’s like trying to do a job remotely. There’s only so much you can do when you’re not present. If that weren’t the case, everyone would work from home or from a tropical paradise. I that as someone who has been unable to pursue major opportunities and broken up from good relationships due to distance.
Even if you can work around issues of distance and time, there’s also the matter of becoming entwined with family affairs. As the “Meet The Parents” trilogy so hilariously demonstrates, being with someone is rarely just about being with them, individually. At some point, if the romance is to be serious, their family will get involved.
That process can be as complicated as matching qualifications for a specialized job on a resume. You’ve got to make sure both families can get along. They can’t just tolerate each other at the wedding or during the holidays. They have to be capable of co-existing in a way that doesn’t undercut the romance.
It’s very similar from having a job that matches your skill set, but for an organization that is just insufferable. A lot of people have had to endure jobs they hated, even if they paid well or matched their various talents. When the organization within the job is awful, then even a dream job can be awful.
You can love someone with all your heart. You might even have someone your family loves. However, if your lover’s family is an absolute pain, then the romance will suffer. Now that relationships aren’t just business arrangements, we have to navigate around one another’s lives and their families. To do that, it’s necessary to treat dating like a job interview.
You have figure out if this person fits into your life.
You have to figure out if their hopes, dreams, and abilities match what you’re looking for.
You have to prove that your hopes, dreams, and abilities match theirs as well.
You have to determine whether you fit into the organization of their life and their family.
Ultimately, you have to build that shared life together around all of that, knowing that breaking up/being fired/quitting comes with a personal/professional cost.
On the surface, it’s hardly romantic. At the same time, there’s an undeniable pragmatism to it. As society has evolved, complete with more egalitarian gender roles and fewer taboos about being single, we’re in a better position to chart our own romantic path. We don’t just have to settle for limited options and few opportunities. We can dare to seek something greater.
As a byproduct, the basic romantic elements of intimate chemistry can never be enough. It’s necessary, if not unavoidable, to assess a prospective lover’s entire life to determine of that romance is even viable. It’s not easy and it’s exceedingly imperfect, as the rate of divorce and abusive relationships indicates.
However, being the romantic I am, I still say it’s worth pursuing. That process is still very likely to change as society, technology, and attitudes change. The impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic are sure to change it even more. Whether it becomes more or less like a job interview remains to be seen.
Filed under gender issues, human nature, Love Or Obsession, psychology, romance
Ode To Zoom And How It Helped Me Get Through The Pandemic
A year and a half ago, not many people knew what Zoom was. In fact, if you asked someone if you wanted to set up a Zoom call, they would probably just stare at you blankly and wonder if you had been watching too many cartoons. They were more likely to respond to Skype calls or FaceTime. That seemed to do the trick for most video conferencing needs.
Then, the COVID-19 pandemic hit. Need I say more?
Suddenly, we couldn’t just wake up, meet up with friends or family, and interact like we’ve always done. We had to rely more and more on technology, especially video conferencing, to fill that gap. In doing so, we realized that Skype and FaceTime just weren’t enough.
That’s where Zoom came in. We all learned quickly that this software wasn’t just much more useful. It was a vital link between friends, family, teachers, students, and so much more. We all came to rely so heavily on Zoom that it has basically supplanted all other forms of video conferencing in the span of a year. That’s a hell of a accomplishment.
Most people don’t fully appreciate the story behind Zoom. It’s actually really sweet in that it has a romantic sub-plot. Being a lover of romance, I certainly appreciate that. The basics are that the company’s founder, Eric Yuan, was struggling to maintain a long-distance relationship with his then-girlfriend, now-wife. He was familiar with video conferencing technology, but quickly realized its limitations.
Rather than lament on the frustrations of long-distance relationships, he decided to actually do something about it. That’s what led him to create Zoom. It really is a beautiful story and I just gave the bare basics of it. If you want a more complete story, check out this video by the YouTube channel, Company Man. Seriously, you’ll appreciate Mr. Yuan and Zoom even more.
Beyond the story behind this software, I can attest to how vital it has been to keep me connected with friends and family. When the pandemic hit, we had no idea how long it was going to last. I had still made plans to visit friends and family over the course of the year. As those plans were crushed by the pandemic, just maintaining contact became a challenge.
At first, we tried to use FaceTime, but that proved unreliable. It was also a pain in the ass to get multiple people on the same call. Once we discovered Zoom, an entire world opened up. It started simply with my mother organizing this big group Zoom call between the family and a relative who was getting married. It proved so successful that many of us started finding other uses for Zoom.
One of the most important to me, personally, came from my dad. While he’s usually reluctant to adopt new technology, he came to enjoy scheduling video chats with me and my brother every Saturday morning. We would just sit in our kitchens, open up a chat, and sip coffee while talking about this or that. It felt very much like a normal meet-up. Even after we’ve all been vaccinated, we still do it. It’s a much better way to keep up than a typical phone all.
On top of that, Zoom has helped me strengthen ties with siblings who don’t live nearby anymore. One of my favorite daily rituals during the week is to join my oldest sister in a Zoom call while she and her friends watch Jeopardy. It has been a great way to both meet new people and grow closer to her, even though she doesn’t live nearby anymore.
Without Zoom, none of this would’ve happened. It wouldn’t have even been possible, given how cumbersome FaceTime and Skype has been. For that, I’m grateful. I’m sure I’m not the only one. I imagine Zoom has helped plenty of people stay connected with friends and family in ways they wouldn’t have been able to do with simple phone calls. It has also helped people who usually resist new technology to embrace it. I consider that a good thing.
Even after the pandemic is over, I still plan on using Zoom to keep up with friends and family, especially during times of the year when it’s harder to travel. I hope others do the same. Connecting with loved ones is critical during a crisis. Staying connected when times are good is every bit as important.
To Mr. Yuan, on behalf of everyone who has benefited so much from Zoom, I sincerely thank you.
Filed under Current Events, human nature, Jack Fisher's Insights, technology, YouTube
Christmas Eve: Sentiments And Reflections
It’s Christmas Eve.
All the holiday planning and preparation is about to come together, as it does every year on one glorious day.
When the year began, we probably had a good idea of how Christmas was going to look this year. We probably had a general idea of how the year would look in general.
Then, a once-in-a-generation pandemic struck and all those ideas collapsed.
However, I don’t want to spend Christmas Eve lamenting on how bad this year has gone. I’ve already done plenty of that. Instead, I want offer some insight and hope.
Yes, Christmas this year is bound to be different, but the spirit and sentiments of the season aren’t completely muted. Even a pandemic can’t stop that.
Like so many other things this year, we just have to adapt. That may mean less travel, less parties, and even less presents for those who are enduring serious economic hardship. It’s sad and disappointing, but that doesn’t have to ruin Christmas. It just means we’ll have to do things differently.
For me, personally, that involves relying heavily on video chatting and Zoom meetings to connect with family. We can’t have the usual extended get-togethers, which often start on Christmas Eve and go on days after Christmas. It also means a less elaborate Christmas dinner.
At the same time, I’m not letting it dampen my holiday spirit. I’ve already made the effort to share that spirit from afar. Last week, I took many of the presents I’d previously wrapped and mailed them out to various family members who couldn’t travel. I ended up having to send multiple large boxes, which held up a long line at the UPS store.
To those people, I apologize. I promise it was for a good cause.
I already confirmed that many of those packages arrived. I intend to be with them via Zoom as they’re opened. I also intend to do the same while I open their presents. Granted, it’s not the same as being there with them, but it’s better than nothing. We’ll still be together in the ways that matter.
It’ll still be difficult. I know some relatives would much rather get together, join the family, and share in each others’ company for the holidays. It’s just not possible this year. I keep encouraging them to make up for it next year. However, we have to get through this one first. We can make that process easier by simply making the most of what we have now.
I encourage everyone to keep that perspective in mind as they celebrate the holidays. The world will heal. This pandemic will end. Those are hopes for tomorrow.
Today, it’s Christmas Eve.
Let’s cherish what we still have before we move forward with what lies ahead.
Filed under Current Events, Jack Fisher's Insights, Uplifting Stories
Happy Thanksgiving 2020!
To everyone out there, no matter how jaded you might be after this past year, I wish you a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!
I know this year has disrupted many plans, holiday and non-holiday alike. They’ve certainly disrupted mine. I can attest that Thanksgiving this year will be very different for me compared to previous years. The large family gatherings that I’m so fond of just aren’t possible to do safely.
As disappointing as that is, I won’t let it stop me from enjoying Thanksgiving with my family, nor should it stop anyone else. It may require some frustrating adaptations. It may also require a working knowledge of video chatting and Zoom. It’s still worth doing.
That’s what you do for family.
That’s what you do for the holidays.
It’s part of what makes you thankful to have them in your life.
That’s worth celebrating and I encourage everyone to do so.
Filed under Uncategorized
Jack Fisher's Official Publishing Blog 