A while back, a close relative of mine retired after a long, fruitful career that spanned nearly 40 years. They probably could’ve retired much sooner, but they were among the fortunate few who actually enjoyed their job for the most part. It had its ups, downs, and everything in between. But overall, it was a good career that most would be lucky to enjoy.
Over the course of that lengthy career, they worked under multiple CEOs. This was a fairly well-regarded organization, too. So, the CEOs were not part of some succession plan or a proud family business. This was the kind of company that followed a fairly traditional corporate structure and kept things impersonal as much as possible when it came to executive decisions.
However, in talking about how much the job had changed over the years and how much the industry had evolved in that time, this same person revealed something I found both striking, yet unsurprising.
Every single CEO they worked under qualified, by their definition, as a narcissist.
Now, for most people who have worked similar jobs, this probably isn’t surprising. There’s this prevailing sentiment that anyone who becomes CEO has to be a narcissist to some extent in order to get to that level. It even makes a perverse bit of sense. By their own nature, a narcissist seeks control, status, power, and aggrandizement. And the position of CEO offers all of that in spades.
But even if it makes sense for narcissists to become CEOs and we consider it normal, for the most part, that still warrants concern. There are times when our concept of normal has some major problems and we shouldn’t be afraid to confront it. This is definitely one of those situations.
For the relative who told me this, they had quite a few interesting stories to tell regarding the narcissism of CEOs. But they did make one important distinction. Even though these individuals were overtly narcissistic, they were not outright psychopaths. While most psychopaths are narcissistic, not every narcissist is a psychopath.
Narcissists can and do have some sense of moral responsibility.
Narcissist can and do experience empathy on some levels.
Narcissists can even be good CEOs, for the most part.
However, we shouldn’t let that override the legitimate concerns we should have when dealing with narcissists. There’s a reason why so many super-villains in pop culture tend to be inherently narcissistic.
Among the key traits of narcissists is a sense of arrogance, self-entitlement, vanity, and a greater capacity to exploit others for selfish means. These are traits we rarely want in people we deal with on a day-to-day basis. But in the role of CEO, they can give someone an advantage.
It means they won’t hesitate to make decisions that cause harm, distress, or ruin to others. It also means they’ll cross lines most people won’t in order to increase profits, further an organization, or undermine the competition. They can and will do things that’ll seriously hurt those working for them, yet still sleep comfortably in their fancy beds without a shred of guilt.
Maybe these sorts of tactics do help certain companies and organizations thrive. Many of the most successful companies in the world were founded or run effectively by narcissists who did things that, in hindsight, were deplorable by most measures. But we give them a pass because that made them and their company a great success.
It’s a not-so-hidden blind spot that we, the public, tend to overlook. And as I’ve gotten older and had my own experiences with narcissists, I feel like that sort of mentality is detrimental in the grand scheme of things.
One story that did stand out from my relative was how one particularly narcissistic CEO lamented how they might not have enough money to retire. Granted, this CEO was making well above six figures and he was complaining directly to someone who made a fraction of this. The idea that their bloated salary was not enough to retire on just seemed outrageous for someone just trying their best to pay their rent or mortgage on time.
It perfectly reflects how narcissists lack empathy and aren’t the least bit concerned with how people less fortunate or affluent get by. It would be one thing if this were just someone who had been born rich. But remember, this is a CEO. Unlike those rich from inheritance, their decisions impact entire organizations. Those organizations are full of hard-working people who may or may not be in a position to retire, no matter how hard they work.
That kind of disconnect between those making executive decisions and those actually doing the work isn’t just illogical. It’s damaging to the long-term health of any organization and society. Because if the CEOs of the organizations we rely on to keep our economy growing are too narcissistic, then what incentive do they have to do right by the society at large?
If the choices is between making the right choice for the most amount of people or more money and power for them personally, a narcissist won’t make the right choice.
If the choice is between sacrificing for the good of others or exploiting others for their own personal benefit, a narcissist will choose to benefit themselves 99 times out of 100.
Unlike most people with a more balanced perspective, narcissists need to be coaxed into doing the right thing. And even when they do, they’ll often do it begrudgingly. Those who are smart on top of being narcissists might be able to come to that conclusion if the long-term benefits are there. But for the most part, you can usually expect a narcissist to made decisions that benefit them over everyone else.
In addition to the anecdotes of my retired relatives, there’s real science to indicate that a disproportional number of CEOs are indeed narcissists. And those narcissists working within those titles will continue to do whatever they think they can get away with, so long as they continue to benefit. You really don’t have to look far to see how much harm decisions from narcissistic CEOs can incur.
Having to work for a narcissist CEO is always challenging, but it can be done. Most people who have worked a steady job can attest to that. But it’s still worth asking ourselves if this situation is tenable in the long run. Because if we continue rewarding narcissists with lucrative jobs like CEO, then we’re just creating a world that’ll enable more narcissists.
An Important Hypothetical Question To Consider (Before Any Debate)
I’ve been using the internet for a good chunk of my life. I’m old enough to remember the days of slow dial-up, AOL chatrooms, and messy Geocities websites. And while I don’t miss those days, there are certain elements of my internet experience that have remained fairly constant.
One of them has to do with debates. And if you’ve ever talked politics, comics, anime, or movies with anyone on any medium, you know how heated that can get.
Believe me, I know this as well as anyone. I still haven’t forgotten how heated some debates got on the old comic book message boards I used to frequent. Some want to say social media ruined discourse by making it too easy to engage in such debates. But I respectfully disagree.
This sort of tension between people always existed. Human beings have always had their share of strongly held opinions that they were debate, discuss, and defend far past the point of reason. It doesn’t matter how smart, educated, or well-informed they are. The passion with which they hold their views has always been strong. The internet and social media simply made it more prominent.
I’m bringing this up for two reasons. For one, I see a lot of debates and arguments online, especially in comments sections and on social media. I freely admit that I engage in some of that discourse. It’s rarely productive. And I’ve yet to meet anyone who has been convinced to change their position on something based on a point someone made in a Facebook comment.
Second, I live in the United States of America and this year happens to be an election year. Debates about politics, issues, and policies are bound to get more heated. And that’ll only escalate the closer we get to Election Day on November 5, 2024. I fully expect to see plenty of discourse that will make me lose my faith in democracy, the future, and humanity in general.
For those reasons, and plenty others I don’t care to articulate, I want to present a simple hypothetical to anyone seeking to debate others in any capacity on any issue, be it political or otherwise. It’s not a thought experiment. It’s just a simple perspective that I hope provides greater context into the nature of discourse. It goes like this.
What I just described is situation that I hope adds context to the what, why, and how of debating others. Because if you approach this hypothetical in good faith, it puts you in a difficult position. Either you admit you seek vindication and are willing to fight for it or you actively avoid the implication that your position is wrong.
Call it confirmation bias.
Call it cognitive dissonance.
Call it an impossible scenario that will never play out because there are too many issues that cannot be completely verified beyond any and all doubts.
If you’re honest with yourself, you know how you’ll react in that scenario. And if you’re honest about how most people operate in heated discourse, you’ll know how your opponent would react in this scenario.
However you feel about what I just presented, I only ask that you keep it in mind as you engage in further discourse moving forward.
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