This is a video from my YouTube channel, Jack’s World.
In the spirit of America and all it stands for, I made this video to celebrate a very special movie that truly captures the essence of patriotism. That movie is Team America: World Police.
Yes, it has puppets, profanity, and barfing. But it is the most genuine, honest portrayal of American patriotism in the history of cinema. And that makes it worth celebrating. Enjoy!
Filed under funny, Jack's World, movies, YouTube
Sometimes, you find yourself having a bad day.
And when you have a bad day, you often find yourself doing dumb, irrational things to make it less bad.
And when you do too many dumb, irrational things, you find that it’s too late and you’ve somehow made your day worse.
I promise that what you just read was not a direct quote from an episode of “Bojack Horseman,” although when you read it again, it sure sound like it ought to be. These admittedly bleak musings are just a byproduct of anyone navigating life, in general. I guarantee that anyone who has lived past the age of 24 has experienced this sort of thing more than once.
We all have bad days. They’re unavoidable.
Even if you’re rich, beautiful, and well-connected, you’re just going to go through periods where you feel like the universe wants to throw your soul into an industrial furnace. But even if these kinds of days are unavoidable, there are ways we can deal with it. And not all of them have to involve potent drugs or expensive therapy.
As someone who has had his share of bad days, I’ve uncovered numerous little ways to make them better over the years. Some are simple, common sense that most people with functional brain cells can figure out. Others are more personal that I prefer not to share.
I also understand that what makes my day better isn’t going to be the same for everyone. I can immediately make myself feel better by simply getting fully naked, reading some of my favorite comic books, and putting on a playlist that’s loaded with every song by AC/DC and Nirvana. That does plenty to boost my spirits, but it’s not for everyone.
But as unique as we all are as human beings, I also believe we all share certain commonalities that bind us. I also believe that through those commonalities, we can all find ways to make our bad days feel a little less awful. And in that spirit, I’d like to share a video I discovered a while back that has had an uncanny ability to put me in a better mood, no matter what kind of day I’m having.
It involves the comedy of the late, great George Carlin.
It also involves the iconic and beloved children’s show, Thomas The Tank Engine.
I promise I’m being completely serious. This is real. This is not a product of AI. This is actually something George Carlin worked on while he was still with us. And while the kid-friendly version of Thomas The Tank Engine is beloved by generations of kids and adults, Carlin found a way to give it his own special/vulgar/hilarious twist.
And thanks to talented video editors and the wonders of YouTube, there’s a 45-minute video of George Carlin voicing numerous characters from Thomas The Tank Engine while mixing in the kind of brilliantly glorious comedy that still gives everyone who works at the FCC night terrors. I’ve made it a point to save this video and memorize the URL. Because it’s not just delightfully funny. It is the ultimate medicine for any and all jaded souls.
If you don’t believe me, watch for yourself. It may very well ruin your childhood to some degree if you’re a fan of Thomas The Tank Engine, but I promise you it’s worth it.
To this day, I still can’t get through this video without laughing so hard that my throat hurts. I’ve also watched this video, in part or in full, during some of the worst days I’ve ever had. It never fails to make me feel better. It’s like medicine for my mind, body, and soul.
It requires no prescription.
It has no side-effects.
You can even take it with alcohol and various other intoxicating drugs.
I don’t know how big the universe is or how vast the multiverse might be. I just know that I’m grateful to live in a plane of reality where a mash-up of George Carlin and Thomas The Tank Engine exist.
Filed under comedy, funny, health, philosophy, psychology
Every now and then, you come across a headline that covers a serious issue, but is still inherently funny. Sometimes, it’s on purpose and not just for the sake of clickbait. There are often subjects that need a bit of humor in order to get people to pay attention to something important. I’m not saying it’s right, wrong, or indifferent. But there is an underlying reason and it can be used for good.
So, when an article is written about something as serious as rectal exams, we should expect a certain amount of toilet humor to enter the conversation. It doesn’t matter if you’re a serious person with serious concerns about human health. We were all immature kids at some point. We all laugh, chuckle, or cringe at jokes involving butts, poop, and farts.
To that end, I commend Slate.com for daring to lean into the humor of the topic when discussing something as serious as prostate health, which often involves rectal exams. Butts and buttholes aside, prostate cancer kill thousands of men every year. In 2022 alone, over 33,000 men died as a result of this disease.
Thankfully, this is one of those forms of cancer that, if caught early, can be effectively treated. However, catching it early often involves men of a certain age getting regular exams. And some of those exams just happen to involve a doctor sticking a finger up your butt to feel your prostate.
Take all the time you need to laugh and/or cringe at that notion. I’m sure there’s a sizable population of men that are hilariously insecure about anyone putting anything up their buttholes. By contrast, there are others who may feel the exact opposite.
To both crowds, this latest news is certainly of interest to them. But rather than go over the serious medical details, I’ll just let the headline speak for itself:
First, let’s just take a moment to appreciate the sheer poetry of that headline. Yes, I understand that’s not the headline you see when you click on the link. That’s kind of the point. The text above isn’t meant to catch your interest with the very valid seriousness that’s associated with prostate health. It’s meant to draw out your inner 13-year-old, if only to remind you about certain aspects of your health that you’d rather not think about.
As a man who is right around that special age where examining that part of my body is necessary, this news is encouraging. It’s not just the notion that fingers up buttholes might no longer be necessary. It’s that we’re getting better at testing for and detecting prostate issues. As a man, this is important to me. While prostate cancer doesn’t run in my family, at least to my knowledge, I still take my health seriously.
If there is an ailment that awaits me in the near or distant future, I want to catch it early. I want to treat it early. Most importantly, I don’t want to let immature attitudes about things going into men’s butts to prevent me from better health.
Hopefully, other men take the same approach. Because I get it. The idea of a doctor’s finger going up your butt is bound to trigger certain feelings. But I urge you, for the sake of your health and your loved ones, get over it. The whole of your body will be better off because of it.
This is a video from my YouTube channel, Jack’s World.
This video explores why and how Bob’s Burgers became the perfect comfort show. For me personally, it’s become the show I often turn to when I just want to watch something simple, wholesome, and fun. It’s also one of those rare shows that sets itself apart from other animated shows for all the right reasons.
Plus, it has Gene Belcher. What more could you want?
Filed under comedy, funny, television
I know. If you just read the headline on this post, you’re probably confused. You might think I’ve just stumbled into an insane rabbit hole that would make Alex Jones pee his pants. But I promise that what I’m sharing is real. It’s not from some comedy website or Onion post. This is a real story about a real fungus that has a peculiar effect on cicadas.
There’s a lot I could say about that effect. But I do no think I’m mature enough to paraphrase it. So, go ahead read the article for yourself. Even if you don’t find it interesting, you can’t deny that this might very well be the single greatest headline of the year thus far. And I don’t know if or when it can be topped.
Them: A Sexually Transmitted Fungus Is Making Trillions of Cicadas Hypersexual and Gay
No, society is not turning your kids gay. But cicadas and fungus? Well, that’s another story.
Last week, CBS News reported that, this spring, trillions of the bugs are expected to emerge in huge numbers not seen in decades and maybe even centuries, resulting in “cicada-geddon,” as one scientist called it. On top of that, some of the bugs will be “zombie cicadas,” who are infected with a sexually transmitted fungal pathogen known as Massospora cicadina. The fungus makes them hypersexual… and gay.
Matthew Kasson, a professor of mycology and forest pathology at West Virginia University, told CBS that, when infected, a cicada’s genitals will fall off within the next week or so as the fungus erupts and covers roughly a third of their body. Yet at the same time, the fungus produces an amphetamine that, basically, makes male cicadas super horny for their fellow bugs, regardless of their sex.
“Males, for example, they’ll continue to try and mate with females — unsuccessfully, because again, their back end is a fungus,” Kasson said. “But they’ll also pretend to be females to get males to come to them. And that doubles the number of cicadas that an infected individual comes in contact with.”
If you managed to make it through that snippet and aren’t uncomfortably horny right now, I’ll just add this.
Nature is amazing!
It’s also kinky, dirty, and horny as hell. But it’s still amazing.
Beyond the sheer poetry of the headline and the raw sexiness of the science, I also think it’s worth taking a moment to appreciate the sheer weirdness of our world. Everyone has a certain perception when it comes to nature, how it works, and what makes it beautiful. Those perceptions aren’t right or wrong. But no matter how we feel about nature, the way it manifests in the real world is always going to be more elaborate.
We see bugs and we usually don’t give them a second thought.
Someone mentions fungus and the first thing we think about is mushrooms on pizza.
But nature dares to do more with both in ways we never would’ve imagined, even in our most eccentric moments. It’s capable of producing bugs like cicadas, which make this strange, but distinct noise that most always associate with hot summer days. It’s capable of producing fungus that causes mold in our showers, as well as mold that makes cicadas irrationally horny.
Again, nature is amazing!
You can think what you want about fungus affecting the sexual behavior of bugs. Our moral judgements really don’t affect nature, no matter how weird we think it is. But it still happens. It manifests around us. And there are probably other ways it manifests that we’re not aware of that might very well be even kinkier.
Even so, I challenge nature and those who study it to top this headline. Because honestly, I don’t think it can be done.
Things tend to move quickly in the world of technology and artificial intelligence. And since the arrival of ChatGPT, the pace seems to have accelerated. I try to keep up with it as best I can. And I only really write or make videos about it if I have something meaningful to contribute.
But there are some stories I follow more closely for personal reasons. One such story has been the controversy surrounding the AI-generated George Carlin special that came out in early January 2024. I certainly hope I made my feelings on that issue clear. As much as I support the development of AI, I felt like this was in really poor taste.
It didn’t sound much like George Carlin. The humor, while funny at times, didn’t hit as hard as Carlin’s unique brand of comedy. And, most importantly, it was done without the consent of George Carlin’s family, namely his daughter, Kelly Carlin. It’s one thing to impersonate a dead celebrity with living relatives. It’s quite another to use an AI to create what could amount to a post-mortem piece of work that’s done in the mold of that celebrity.
Well, not surprisingly, Kelly Carlin didn’t stop at just scorning the creators of this AI special. According to the Hollywood Reporter, she filed a lawsuit against the creators of the comedy special on the basis that it’s an unauthorized use of George Carlin’s copyrighted work, while also illegally using Carlin’s name and likeness for promotional purposes.
Make no mistake. This case will be of immense interest to those concerned about how we use, abuse, and develop AI in the future. This, on top of new concerns about deepfakes for artists like Taylor Swift, is set to create some major precedents. And they’re bound to affect users, companies, and the nature of the AI’s themselves.
However, the filing of this lawsuit has added a new wrinkle to this controversy that is definitely worth acknowledging. It has since come out that the script for this “special” wasn’t a result of an AI generating it from a compilation of all of Carlin’s past works, as claimed by the creators. It was entirely written by a human named Chad Kultgen.
And, with all due respect to Chad Kultgen, his is no George Carlin. That really showed in the special.
Also, fuck Chad Kultgen for thinking he could match Carlin’s brilliance or even the capability of a non-human AI.
Now, this complication isn’t going to stop the lawsuit. If anything, it might strengthen the case of Carlin’s estate because it makes this special a much clearer violation of illegally using someone’s likeness or brand for promotional purposes. It might even raise to the level of fraud by claiming to be the product of an AI, but was actually just some guy trying to write a special and using George Carlin’s likeness to sell it.
And, regardless of how you feel about the legal implications here, that’s still a dick move. I can’t imagine that makes this any less difficult for Kelly Carlin or the rest of the Carlin family.
But, based on what we now know in wake of this lawsuit, the only thing AI was used for in making this special was to create the not-so-compelling voice that delivered this human-made script and the images included within the video. In terms of capabilities, that’s not a very impressive use of AI. If anything, that makes this special even less impressive.
One of my biggest criticisms of it was that it sounded nothing like Carlin in terms of tone and style. Considering that there are many existing AI tools right now that can closely mirror the voices of celebrities, this just makes the creators of this special seem cheap and lazy. But the script being entirely human-written does help add another important perspective.
As impressive as AI is at the moment, it is a long way from fooling anyone that it could mimic the nuance or mannerisms of a human, let alone one as special as George Carlin. I do wonder if those behind this special actually tried, but quickly realized it couldn’t be done. I also wonder if maybe someone who is even more unscrupulous will actually try again at some point, possibly with better AI tools.
If they do, then this lawsuit becomes even more important. Because the law tends to move much slower than technology. And if AI continues to advance, then incidents like this will become more common. For now, only time will tell what this will mean for the future of AI and those it impacts, living or dead.
Filed under AI Art, Artificial Intelligence, funny, technology
Halloween is almost upon us. Unlike last year, we might actually get to enjoy it this time. Even if you’re not a big fan of dressing up or hearing The Monster Mash every five minutes, I encourage everyone to get out there and enjoy this holiday.
Whether it involved dressing up, trick-or-treating, passing out candy, or watching horror movies, I say go the extra mile this year. Be a little more elaborate with your costume. Drink a little extra pumpkin ale. Give out more candy than usual. Seriously, after last year, we all need it.
I certainly have plans this year. I really do want to make the most of Halloween this year. In the spirit of inspiring others, I’d like to share one of my fondest Halloween memories from when I was a kid. This is a memory my parents and siblings probably know, too. I hope they are just as fond of it as me.
For this particular Halloween, I was still in grade school. I was also finally at an age where I could go trick-or-treating without my parents having to be chaperones. The only stipulation they gave was that, if I went out trick-or-treating, I had to go with a friend. Thankfully, I had that covered, courtesy of a friend who lived three houses down.
We both made it a point to be ambitious this year. We were going to try and get to as many houses as possible and maximize our haul of candy. I distinctly remember us plotting out how we would cover every block in our neighborhood. It was probably the most excited I’d ever been for Halloween.
In terms of costumes, my friend and I kept things simple. He dressed up as Han Solo, complete with a vest, boots, and a fake blaster. Him being a Star Wars fan, that was hardly surprising. For me, I dressed up as Johnny Bravo. If you had been watching Cartoon Network at all during this time, as I had, chances are you were familiar with him.
His style was simple, but his personality was what stood out. He basically carried himself like Elvis Presley, Bruce Lee, and the Fonz. Since I wasn’t the most extroverted kid in the world, it was a stark contrast from my usual persona. I still embraced it in the spirit of Halloween.
Like my friend, my costume was simple. I just put on a pair of blue jeans, a tight black shirt, and a pair of sunglasses. To fully complete the look, I doused my hair with hair gel and slicked it back so that I had that distinctly Bravo look.
It wasn’t perfect or in the mold of a professional cosplayer, but it was still serviceable for a kid my age. It also gave me an excuse to talk like Elvis for an entire night. I’m not gonna lie. I had a lot of fun with that. Remember, I was a pretty shy kid growing up. Me being that outgoing was a major shift. It was jarring, but in a good way.
With our costumes ready, my friend and I ventured out as soon as the sun set. It certainly helped that the weather that night was perfect Halloween weather. It was cool and crisp. There weren’t any clouds in the sky and we had a full moon. It was as perfect a Halloween setting as you could get without a psycho in a hockey mask.
My friend and I took full advantage of that weather. We started hitting houses as soon as we could, starting on our own block and working our way out. We were thorough, but efficient. We didn’t linger too much. We just showed off our costumes, got our candy, and moved on.
It was as perfect demonstration of just how effective trick-or-treating could be for a couple kids our age. I’m genuinely proud of how much ground we covered and how much candy we got.
We still found time to have a bit of fun. Most of the houses we visited recognized my friend as being Han Solo. They weren’t as sure about me. I had to explain to them who Johnny Bravo was, which often involved me dropping some lines from the show.
At times, I was a bit more animated than necessary, but I make no apologies for that. I also like to think those people still know who Johnny Bravo is to this day. They may have never seen the cartoon, but they remember the trick-or-treater who visited them that night.
Overall, my friend and I were out for nearly two hours that night. We ended up almost entirely filling our pillowcases with candy. I don’t remember how much of it we ate that night, but I remember it being extra delicious. The fact that we worked so hard to get so much out of Halloween that year just made it so much sweeter.
After that, there were other Halloween festivities. There were other costumes and other elaborate trick-or-treating efforts. However, none were quite as successful as that fateful night. On a night when Han Solo teamed up with Johnny Bravo, we created the ultimate Halloween experience and for that, I am proud and thankful for my friend.
He knows who he is. I don’t know if he’ll read this, but I hope he remembers that night as fondly as I do. I also hope that inspires others to make the same effort for this Halloween that my friend and I did all those years ago. Also, I can safely say all that candy went to good use.
Filed under funny, Jack Fisher's Insights, real stories
Every now and then, a story comes along that is just so absurd, so outrageous, and so appropriately hilarious that you can’t help but feel glad to be alive. The only thing that makes it better is when the story involves powerful people being exposed as hypocrites in the most embarrassing way possible.
Even in a year as bad as 2020, those stories are still uniquely enjoyable. I would argue we need them now more than ever.
That’s exactly why I have to thank Jozsef Szajer, a Hungarian politician you’ve never heard of, but will never forget after this story. Recently, he just raised the bar for hilarity, hypocrisy, and sheer absurdity.
You don’t need to know much about Mr. Szajer’s politics. You just need to know he’s vehemently anti-LGBTQ and has campaigned against it for years. Usually, when someone is that vocal about LGBTQ issues, that raises some red flags. Just ask Ted Haggard.
Well, after this, I think it’s safe to say that Mr. Szajer has risen the bar. Rather than simply paraphrase the sordid details, I’ll let the headline from the Irish Post do the talking.
A Hungarian politician has resigned after he was caught by police attending a ‘20-man lockdown orgy‘.
Jozsef Szajer, who has regularly campaigned against LGBT freedoms, was spotted fleeing the party, which took place above a bar in the Belgian capital of Brussels on Friday.
He reportedly had “bloody hands” after picking up a suspected injury while trying to escape, and police later found drugs in his backpack, according to La Derniere Heure.
“We interrupted a gang-bang,” local police said, after confirming they found 20 naked men inside the party.
Szajer, who has a wife and a daughter, resigned from his post on Sunday.
You read that right. This is not an article from The Onion. Even they couldn’t come up with something this hilariously fitting. It’s just too perfect.
You have a vehemently anti-LGBTQ politician.
You have a 20-man orgy during a global pandemic.
Somehow, this guy managed to get himself caught. He was either really conflicted, really horny, really stupid, or a potent combination of everything.
There’s a lot I’d love to say about a guy like this. However, I don’t think I need to make a larger point here. It’s just too easy and too hilarious on its own.
An anti-gay politician got caught in a gay orgy during a pandemic.
Let’s just leave it at that, laugh hysterically, and be happy that there’s still entertainment like that in this crazy world.
Filed under Current Events, funny, gender issues, human nature, LGBTQ, politics, sex in society, sexuality
I’m a big fan of romance, love stories, and the sexy stuff that comes with it. I hope the novels and sexy short stories that I’ve written have made that abundantly clear. I’m an unapologetic sucker for a good romance, be it cute, cheesy, raunchy, or some combination of the three.
I also don’t deny that 2020 has been a goddamn nightmare. As bad as previous years have been, 2020 has risen the bar for all things awful. This year has caused many people objective pain, loss, and heartbreak. I’m just one of many.
This year has taken such a heavy toll on me personally. It’s taken a far worse toll on many others, especially health care workers and doctors. However, as bad as it has been, there’s still room for a good love story.
Granted, that love story would have to be weird on a whole new level to function in a year like 2020.
Thankfully, that’s why we have people like Ryan Reynolds.
He doesn’t just play a fast-talking anti-hero in skin-tight outfits. He’s done some objectively heroic things in real life. Sometimes, he even supplements that effort with something that just makes us laugh, cry, and cringe all at once.
This latest project is one of them. It’s built around a love story. However, it’s a very twisted love story and one that can only occur in a year like 2020. I wish I could put it into words and do it justice. I am just not a good enough writer.
Just see for yourself. You’ll understand. I promise.
Yes, that was real.
Yes, that was a love story about Satan and the year 2020, in the form of a woman.
Yes, that was every bit as fucked up as you thought it was. It’s also every bit as glorious.
As a fan of romance, as well as someone who appreciates the all-around awfulness of this year, this was just perfect. It’s poetic in its approach, doubling down on the notion that this year has been Hell and taking it to a literal extreme.
At the same time, it shows how love can blossom. Even if you’re the ruler of Hell and the worst year in human history in female form, you can make it work. It’s just a matter of finding that perfect person to connect with. When it happens, it’s a beautiful thing, even when it involves disturbing figures.
The addition of Taylor Swift music just makes it even more effective. As a love story, you can’t get much more genuine and/or disturbing. While a part of me still wants to throw up at the thought of enduring another year like 2020, my romantic side can’t help but take joy in this video.
To Ryan Reynolds, Taylor Swift, and the fine people behind this video, I sincerely thank you. On behalf of romance fans and people who are so sick of 2020, we applaud you. We needed something like this. It’s the only way we’ll continue to live, love, and endure to the next year.
Filed under Current Events, funny, romance, YouTube
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