Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Heat Wave Edition

Summer is here and as much as I enjoy the beaches and bikinis, it does have its share of issues. I don’t know about the rest of the country, but my particular area is in the middle of its first real heat wave. It’s hotter than a camel’s nut sack. After a long, cold winter, it’s pretty jarring.

In the winter, it’s at least possible to do something sexy to stay warm. I’m pretty sure there are a significant number of babies conceived by couples just trying to save money on their heating bill in winter. That’s not to say heat keeps people from getting frisky. If anything, it makes ditching clothes that much easier. In the winter, though, there’s more of an economic incentive and we all know how powerful those can be.

Staying cool in a heat wave can be a challenge, especially if you live in a place where the air conditioning is average on a good day. Even someone who loves nudity as much as I do can only do so much. That said, it still beats having to dress in layers just to get groceries.

I’m sure there are others out there who cope with heat waves in their own special way. I’m also sure some of those ways are far more effective than anything I can possibly do. I’m not saying this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts will help. It certainly can’t hurt, though.


“Nudity only becomes gratuitous when it becomes and impromptu anatomy lesson.”

I’ll say it again and I’ll keep saying it whenever I get a chance on this blog. I love being naked. I think it’s one of life’s most underrated pleasures. As much as I love it, though, I understand it can get gratuitous at times.

The bar varies from person to person, but most people generally agree that nudity stops being fun when it becomes too little about sex appeal and too much about anatomy. I’ve seen this happen in everything from romance novels to porn. I don’t deny the beauty of the human body. That beauty just gets undermined after a certain level of scrutiny.


“Giving oral sex to a woman is akin to tuning a radio. Giving oral sex to a man is akin to playing his favorite song on a loop.”

While on the subject of anatomy, there’s an unmistakable difference when it comes to giving oral sex to different genders. I’m sure the bisexual crowd can attest that male and female body parts work differently. Some need more tuning than others.

I’m not among those who think giving oral sex to a woman needs to be on par with rocket science. I’ve already talked about the orgasm gap and why it may be more in our heads than we think. I’m just saying that when it comes to men, being able to work a radio makes you overqualified to give them good oral sex.


“Body piercing is only as sexy as the injuries on certain body parts they’re sure to incur.”

I’m all for people having the freedom to modify their bodies as they see fit. Like Mystique from the X-men, I find that kind of flexibility both beautiful and distinct. However, there are some distinctly unflattering implications of certain piercings. Like tattoos, sugary soda, and vampire movies, it is possible to overdo them.

With piercings, though, the consequences of overdoing them are much worse. Again I’m not saying people shouldn’t do it or be chastised for wanting to. I’m just saying that it’s a gamble for a very limited payoff.


“Heavy petting doesn’t become foreplay until you know you’ll have to wash your hands later.”

Couple, Making Out, Young, Happy, People, Woman, Man

This is a debate that often happens among horny teenagers who are still trying to figure out whether or not they got laid. The term “heavy petting” gets thrown around a lot in those debates. Personally, I never understood what that implied. As an aspiring erotica/romance, I think I’ve developed a greater understanding of the lines between petting and foreplay.

It’s a simple rule-of-thumb. Kissing and making out will get your blood flowing, but it won’t leave any lasting effects other than having to unwrinkled your clothes. When it comes to heavy petting, it usually requires at least one person to wash their hands and their clothes the next day. I’ll leave it to your dirty imagination to surmise what that implies.


“To some, candles are a great way to set a romantic mood. To other, they’re just a fire hazard.”

Candles can be romantic as hell. There’s no denying that. I certainly think candles can bring some romantic ambience into any room. It’s not for everyone though. For some people, candles do nothing to set the mood. They’re just fire hazards or messy accessories. I won’t speculate on the kind of person who finds candles that unromantic, but I imagine they’re the same people who think Hugh Jackman is overrated.


“Great sex is often measured by the amount of your lover’s body you’re willing to lick.”

This is something else that I’ve learned as an aspiring erotica/romance writer who regularly writes about insanely sexy moments depicting sexy activities that will sets panties on fire. When sex is that good and you’re that in love with someone, you really don’t care where they put their tongue or how you use yours.


“When it comes to being weird or eccentric, being great at sex gives you a lot more flexibility.”

There are a lot of eccentric, quirky, annoying human beings out there. The fact we tolerate them, even making a celebrities out of a few, shows us the breadth of that tolerance.

Some people, though, require even more. In my experience, we’ll much more willing to grit our teeth and endure if that person is great at sex. It doesn’t matter if they’re a man, woman, or something in between. If we know they can hump like a jackrabbit on crack, we’ll give them more passes than they deserve. If they’re that good, they’ve earned as such.


Does this make you feel hotter or cooler? During a major heat wave, I’m not sure which is preferable. Whatever the case, I hope this kind of heat doesn’t derail anyone’s summer. I know the sweat and humidity sucks, but heavy coats and long underwear sucks even more. If you’re going to sweat, though, the most you can do is make sure you’re sweating for all the right reasons.

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