Jack Fisher's Official Publishing Blog

I get that we live in a strange, messed up world. You don’t need to look hard to find a news story that will significantly undermine whatever faith in humanity you might possess. And outside the news, you’re likely to encounter certain frustrations and inconveniences that make you want to pull your hair out and shout every profanity you know.

At the same time, there are just as many things that can genuinely make your day and put a smile on your face. They can be big or small. Be it news that a loved one expecting their first child to that sweet feeling you get when you sip your morning coffee, these good things can significantly outweigh whatever bad you encounter over the course of a day.

Even if you struggle to find those experiences, it’s not difficult to help someone else enjoy those experiences. In some cases, it doesn’t even cost you anything. It can be as simple as giving someone a genuine, unprompted compliment. It may not be much, but it may very well be enough to make someone’s day, if not their whole week.

I know this because recently, I received a compliment from a close relative that stuck with me and made what had been a rough week a whole lot better. It was admittedly minor. We were all just sitting at the dinner table during a family gathering, talking amongst ourselves.

At one point, I rest my arms on the table after we finished eating. And that’s when this relative, with no real prompt or incentive, complimented how much muscle I’d gained on my arms lately. It actually took me off-guard for a moment. While it’s true I do go to the gym regularly and most of my relatives know that, I rarely get comments on how it shows, be it my health or my appearance.

Also, I rarely get comments on my appearance, in general. Some of that is my fault. I did not take care of myself for a good chunk of my life. It wasn’t until my late 20s that I started working out. And I was well into my 30s by the time I got into a good enough routine and diet to see real results. Even then, very few people said much about how I looked. And if I did get compliments, it was usually in a context that didn’t make them resonate too much.

But this one did. This one wasn’t just from someone who knew me well, even before I started working out. This came from someone who just noticed and went out of their way to make a kind remark. And having not gotten many such remarks regarding my appearance for most of my life, it really stuck with me.

I suspect many others with self-esteem or other personal issues would feel the same way. Getting compliments of any kind when you don’t get them regularly can mean a lot. It can be the difference between having a bad day and having a great day. It can also be something that inspires you to keep doing what you’re doing, especially if you weren’t sure if it was working.

It may still be tempting to second guess someone’s motives for giving you a compliment. People can become jaded and cynical for any number of reasons. Getting out of that mentality can be an arduous process that will take much more than a few unprompted compliments.

But even among the most misanthropic people, a few kind words can do a lot for someone on multiple levels. Whether they come from friends, family, or total strangers, they can have an impact. And it’s often positive. In a world where it’s so much easier to notice awful things, giving or receiving a compliment can mean so much to someone.

So, if you can, find an opportunity to give someone a compliment. You don’t know just how much someone needs it or how much good it will do them in the long run.