Tag Archives: Aliens

“Intimacy Test 69” A Sexy Short Story (Involving Aliens)

alien

The following is a sexy short story I wrote involving aliens, abductions, and sexy science experiments. I used to be big into UFOs and I’ve read a lot about stories involving alien abductions. While I believe most of those stories have more terrestrial explanations, I always felt they had some sexy potential. This is just one story built on that idea. Enjoy!

Most people who gazed up at the stars could only wonder and contemplate what alien life might be like. The sheer size, breadth, and beauty of the night sky was enough to make anyone’s imagination run wild. For Olivia Allen, she didn’t have to wonder. She knew the truth. Humanity was not alone, but that profound truth didn’t change the way she looked up at the stars. If anything, it gave the cosmos a very intimate kind of intrigue.

“Another crisp, clear night in the middle of the month,” Olivia said with a beaming grin as she gazed up at the night sky, “my favorite kind of night during my favorite time of month.”

Standing on the balcony of her undersized apartment on the outskirts of the city, she admired the stars above in a way few understood. Anyone who knew her often got the sense that she saw the world in a profoundly different. More than one person, including multiple family members, had commented on her unique outlook on life. She often smiled for no reason. She saw amazing beauty in mundane things. She rarely got upset over anything. Even when she had her car towed by a vindictive neighbor, she just shrugged it off.

To the rest of the world, Olivia was a mystery that nobody could seem to crack. She was young and beautiful, but never dated anyone, much to the chagrin of her family and friends. She was often alone, but never seemed lonely. She worked an unglamorous job at a local planetarium, but treated it like the best job in the world. They had no idea what she knew and how she’d come to know it. Most people wouldn’t have believed her, but that didn’t matter.

Olivia knew the intimate truth about the universe and humanity’s unique place within it. She embraced that truth in all its intimate grandeur.

“We’re not alone. We’re never alone,” Olivia said to the stars. “But that’s only part of the journey. The rest requires a different process…one that goes beyond any one species or planet.”

Armed with such profound insight, she re-entered her apartment and made her way to the bedroom. Along the way, she removed the bath robe she’d been wearing since she finished her bath an hour ago. She didn’t bother with clothes. She hadn’t worn clothes to bed in years and for good reasons.

Having completed her usual bedtime rituals, Olivia turned out the lights and slipped under the freshly-washed sheets of her bed. As she laid her head on the pillow and got comfortable, the beaming grin she’d cast towards the stars never faded. She wasn’t tired, but already knew that rest wasn’t the reason she’d turned in early on a Friday night.

“I know you’re out there,” she said into the darkened room. “You know I’m here. I’m ready.”

At first, there was only silence. Had anyone heard her utter those words in such a tone, they would’ve thought she was crazy. For a time, she thought she might have been. That was a lifetime ago. Since then, Olivia embraced a new kind of life…one that set her apart from much of the human race.

Finally, after a few moments of lying in bed with her eyes closed in silence, she felt it. The visitors she’d been expecting had arrived.

“Olivia Allen,” said a calm, peaceful, yet non-human voice inside her head. “This is a message from, Erotos of the Zetania Cluster. It is time.”

Olivia didn’t say a word. She just kept smiling and kept her eyes closed, knowing exactly what she was in for.

It started like many other stories attributed to alien abductions. First, there was a blinding column of light that apparently came from nowhere. Next, she felt paralyzed and unable to move. Then, she felt herself lifted into mid-air, as though gravity had been nullified. At that point, though, the stories about encountering real aliens diverted from the intimate truth.

In a flash, her surroundings changed, even though it felt like her body hadn’t moved. It used to make her dizzy and disoriented. Now, she enjoyed it, treating it like a ride at an amusement park. She opened her eyes just in time to see the light fade, revealing that she was no longer in her bedroom.

“That never stops being amazing,” Olivia said to herself.

She didn’t know what the technical term was. She’d been told that it wasn’t teleportation or a wormhole or some other phenomenon she could relate to common sci-fi movies. She just knew it worked. One minute, she was lying in bed within her ordinary, well-populated apartment. The next, she was aboard and alien ship in orbit around the Earth.

“Welcome back, Olivia,” said Erotos, the voice still coming from within her head. “You appear healthy, content, and well-nourished.”

“Thank you, Erotos. Are you going to scan every molecule of my body again?” she replied, knowing with certainty that she’d be heard.

“That will not be necessary. I’ve come to trust your word, as well as general observation.”

“I think that counts as progress by human standards.”

“It counts in other ways too…more than you think.”

That was something else Olivia never tired of, hearing the voice of a real-life alien in her head. It had once been so scary. Now, it was so comforting, having another presence in her mind. She’d come to see it as another kind of intimacy, one that connected her to a much larger universe.

As she reoriented herself, Olivia took in the very alien, yet very familiar surroundings. She once again stood in the arrival bay, as it had been called. It was small room that felt much bigger than it was. It didn’t contain much other than a large, alien-looking machine that she couldn’t begin to understand. She often called it her special transporter because no matter where she was on Earth, it could transport her onto the ship.

The ship itself was much bigger. She knew it was in orbit because there were screens in the wall that showed the Earth outside. It was a beautiful, majestic sight. However, it wasn’t the spectacle she admired most when encountering the alien being who called itself Erotos.

“Please, step forward,” Erotos told her. “We’ve prepared the next Intimacy Test for you. I believe you’ll be quite pleased with our latest refinements.”

“I look forward to seeing for myself. I always do,” said Olivia.

“As do we,” the alien told her. “Your data tends to be more useful than most.”

She laughed to herself as she stepped forward towards what looked like a blank wall, but created its own door for her, as if it were magic. Olivia tried not to think of it like that. Everything on the alien ship only seemed magical. In reality, it was just technology so advanced that her human mind couldn’t see it any other way. It was humbling, but it also reminded her of the role she’d come to play in Erotos’ alien agenda.

Upon passing through the doorway, a group of familiar beings awaited her. They weren’t the little green men of old movies, nor were they the big-headed gray aliens that others claimed to encounter. They were tall, slender, silver-skinned humanoid beings with no face, modest muscle features, and little traces of Earthly heritage.

However, Olivia had been told on her first encounter that the silver-skinned beings weren’t actually the bodies the aliens came from. They were just constructs that housed their consciousness. Their humanoid form was meant to provide some familiarity to humans they encountered. While their lack of a face was somewhat strange, Olivia had grown more comfortable with them over the years.

“I know the drill,” she said to them. “Do what you need to do.”

Without fear or concern, she approached them and held out her arms. She was still fully naked, but not the least bit uncomfortable. If anything, being around aliens who saw human bodies in such a unique, comprehensive context had made her more comfortable with nudity. She barely flinched as the beings felt around parts of her body, the soft tingles of their fingertips a sign of them gathering data.

They were gentle, but thorough, starting with her face, feet, and arms before working their way to her torso. At times, their touch was somewhat cold. At others, it was downright tickles. She even laughed somewhat when one grazed her upper shoulders a certain way.

“Are you still sensitive in the cluster of muscles around your sternocleidomastoid,” Erotos asked her. “If necessary, we can apply a treatment.”

“That’s okay, Erotos,” Olivia replied. “You know how I feel about treatments. If it’s for part of my body that I can’t pronounce, I’ll deal with it.”

“We are simply being thorough and considerate. Such courtesy is critical for harmonious among sentient life.”

It was so fitting and sobering, knowing there were universal constants for how life treated one another, regardless of where it came from. Just learning that had profoundly changed how Olivia had come to see humanity’s place in the cosmos, as well as her own. Every alien encounter seemed to affirm that perspective even more.

That perspective gained greater relevance as the alien humanoids finished their analysis. They’d felt around every part of her body, but saved one particular area for last…namely the intimate parts located between her thighs.

“Analysis indicates that your genitals are becoming aroused,” said one of the humanoids in a mechanical tone. “Is this in error?”

“No,” Olivia said with a chuckle, “it most certainly is not.”

“My apologies, Olivia,” said Erotos. “That particular individual is new to our crew and hasn’t fully assimilated your tendencies.”

“That’s okay, Erotos. I don’t mind aliens learning what a horny woman feels like.”

She laughed to herself as the silver-skinned humanoids finished their analysis. They always spent extra time on the areas in and around her vagina. She often wondered why they were so fascinated by those parts of human anatomy. She didn’t mind, though. She’d come to enjoy their soft, analytical touch on her most intimate areas. It had a strange way of turning her on, which often came in handy for the upcoming test.

“Analysis complete,” said one of the humanoids. “Please proceed into the testing area, Olivia Allen.”

“Thanks,” she said, casting the faceless being a kind smile. “Also, you can just call me Olivia.”

“Your request has been acknowledged and noted.”

That was another thing that took some getting used to, the overly-analytical nature of the aliens. They were capable of showing some range of emotion. While Erotos had told her that they were part machine, she also sensed greater feeling in them, albeit not in a way that most humans would understand.

Over time, she’d come to appreciate it. In addition, it reminded her of why Erotos’ tests were so critical and why her role in them was so much larger than raw data.

“The greatest wonders of the universe await once more,” she said to herself.

As she stepped forward, another door in the metal wall opened, leading to another familiar area. It was part lab, part bedroom. In the center was a large, king-sized bed that looked like it had been copied from some fancy hotel in the city. Given Erotos’ resources, it probably had been. In addition to the bed, there was a large console on the other side of the room consisting of computers and monitors, albeit of a very alien variety.

Sitting at the head of that console was Erotos himself – or itself, as Olivia had never surmised if they had an actual gender. Unlike the silver-skinned beings from earlier, Erotos had a more distinctly-alien form. It was not humanoid, nor was it purely biological. It had a half-dozen limbs, some functioning as arms while other functioned as legs. It had a body, but one that was shaped more like an orb rather than a typical torso. It had a face, but one with several eyes, no discernable nose, and a small mouth.

It was as alien as a creature could get, having no resemblance to anything from Earth. Olivia remembered how terrified she’d been when she first saw it, but Erotos had done much to calm her fears. She quickly learned that Erotos’ species was very empathetic, able to sense distress in others and alleviate it through means that seemed psychic, in nature. She’d even come to see beauty in Erotos’ form, although it made clear more than once that its species had evolved beyond their initial bodies millennia ago.

“You are looking very well, Olivia,” Erotos greeted.

“Thanks,” she replied with a friendly smile. “You have no idea how rare it is for a naked woman to hear that and not be put off.”

“I could likely calculate that within 2.3 minutes, but I prefer to commence with the test. I believe we’ve fully optimized the intimate potential of the subject. We are all very curious to see what sort of intimate data you’ll extrapolate from it.”

“Believe me, Erotos, I’m curious too…among other things.”

With growing anticipation, Olivia approached the bed and awaited Erotos’ latest test. It claimed such tests had major implications for humanity, the Zetania Cluster, and sentient life throughout the cosmos. As such, she took those tests as seriously as any intelligent life could.

After a brief wait, which included Erotos entering commands on the computers with its many arms, another door formed in the wall across the room. From it, a new being emerged. It was very human man and, like her, he was completely naked. However, Olivia had done enough tests to know that he was no ordinary man.

“Olivia, meet Adam Mark 69,” Erotos announced, “the latest in optimized human intimacy.”

“Mark 69, huh?” Olivia said with a snicker. “If only you knew the connotations associated with that number. Then again, you’re an intelligent alien. You definitely know and it already shows!”

Already excited about the data Erotos sought, she approached the subject that she intended to call Adam 69 for the rest of the test. Before she even got within reaching distance, she could smell the intense, masculine musk emanating from his body. It was such an alluring scent, most likely a product of pheromones specifically crafted to make human women horny. Olivia certainly felt those effects, but she didn’t need a manly smell to make her want to test Adam 69.

He looked like something out a lurid female fantasy. He had the physique of a male model, his upper body covered in chiseled, masculine muscles. He reminded her of an Olympic swimmer or track star. He also had a face that radiated sex appeal, from his short, well-groomed hair to a slight bit of facial hair to reflect his masculine features.

Then, there was that endowment hanging between his legs. Olivia couldn’t help but notice that as she got closer. She’d seen more than her share of male genitalia, even before she encountered Erotos. What Adam 69 had looked was the male anatomical equivalent of a masterpiece.

“Wow,” she said as she reached out to touch the chest of the male figure, “of all the alien technology I’ve seen, this may still be the most impressive.”

“I’m glad I am making a good impression,” said Adam in a mechanical, yet manly tone.

“You’re doing more than that, handsome…much more.”

Now standing within the heart of his intimate presence, she affectionately embraced the beautiful naked man before her. His smooth skin, bulging muscles, and polished physique felt so good with every touch, like an impossible fantasy made real.

As if by pure instinct, Adam smiled at her and embraced her as well. Upon feeling those powerful, muscular arms around her naked body, every sexual instinct went into overdrive. Her inner thighs became wet with feminine juices. Her heart raced, her face became flushed, and her skin grew extra-sensitive to his touch.

Along with her arousal, she sensed Adam’s male anatomy respond as well. The instant her thigh made contact with his penis, it began to swell to a state of arousal. It affirmed that, like the other subjects Erotos had her test before, Adam’s biology operated by different rules.

“Like others before him, Adam 69’s male physiology has been optimized by a combination of refined human genetics, bionic implants, and synthetic augmentations,” Erotos stated, still focused on the computer console. “We’ve compiled data from previous subjects to optimize both the physical and emotive features of the subject. We are confident that this is the closest we’ve come to date in creating the perfect intimate companion.”

“I already share much of that confidence,” said Olivia, “but I’d like to be sure.”

“As would I, Olivia Allen,” said Adam 69.

“Please…call me Olivia,” she said to him. “And while you’re at it…kiss me.”

“As you wish, Olivia.”

Without hesitation, the handsome male figure granted her request and captured her lips in a deep, affectionate kiss. In that moment, the overwhelming notion that she was on an alien ship, naked and surrounded by actual aliens, became an afterthought. As far as she was concerned, she and Adam were the only two beings in the universe that mattered.

It wasn’t the first time Erotos had presented her with a handsome male test subject for her to embrace. Since her first introduction to Erotos’ project, he’d presented her with all sorts of subjects. Not all of them were as attractive or welcoming as Adam 69. In fact, most of the earlier subjects were clumsy, functioning less like actual human and more like glorified sex robots with pre-programmed responses. They made for plenty of sexy fun, but offered little in terms of intimacy.

Kissing Adam 69 showed that Erotos had learned a great deal from all those previous tests. It didn’t feel like she was just kissing an attractive man. There were deeper connections at work, passions that went beyond physical gestures and basic desires. It really felt like she was kissing the love of her life and that only made her want to make love to him even more.

She managed to contain herself in order to draw out the kiss, if only so she and Adam could explore each other’s bodies with their hands. It also helped Erotos gather data, which was often treated like the most valuable currency in the universe. It might have been difficult for a human to understand, but Olivia had come to appreciate certain kinds of intimate data.

“Soft lips, tender hands, and eyes that touch a woman’s soul,” Olivia said upon briefly parting their lips.

“All good things, I hope,” Adam 69 said.

“There’s still room for improvement,” Olivia said coyly. “Here…touch my pussy. Feel for yourself just how much you’re affecting me.”

In the interest of keeping the data flowing, she gently guided his hand down between her legs. As soon as his fingers made contact with her moist outer folds, Olivia let out a soft gasp. Adam 69, encouraged by her reaction, employed that skilled touch of his into exploring her most intimate anatomy. Erotos seemed to approve.

“Such a strong reaction,” the alien being said, “much stronger than any before it.”

“Mmm…no need to crunch the numbers. I feel it too!” Olivia said.

While Adam 69 caressed and probed her womanhood with his hand, she re-captured his lips in another kiss. She was much more direct than before, twirling her tongue with his and deepening their embrace. She made it a point to press her breasts up against his chest, maximizing the skin-on-skin contact. She also demonstrated her skill at touching intimate anatomy, reaching down and stroking his perfectly-shaped penis, which was already semi-erect.

At that point, the kissing, the embracing, and the groping ceased being purely affectionate. It was now full-fledged foreplay. Each gesture now had a singular goal in maximizing sexual arousal. They achieved that goal quickly, much more so than previous tests. Olivia could barely stand, her legs weak from the burning heat between her legs. She could also sense the escalating desire in Adam 69 and not just in terms of the rock-hard flesh in her hand.

He wanted to make love to her.

She wanted to make love to him.

Beyond the simple desire for sex, Olivia felt a deeper intimate connection with Adam 69. It was very different from other test subjects, which gave her all the more incentive to complete the test.

“The data is getting erratic,” Erotos said, “but in a statistically relevant manner. I must gather more!”

The advanced alien creature entered several commands on the console. The lights in the area around the bed dimmed, taking on a very sensual undertone. It felt less like an alien ship and more like the honeymoon suite at a fancy resort. While Olivia didn’t need extra setup to make love to the handsome man before her, it certainly helped.

“Please proceed, Olivia,” Erotos told her. “If you are ready, take Adam Mark 69 to the bed and engage in sexual intercourse. Be as thorough and passionate as you wish. Remember, every bit of data is precious.”

“Don’t worry, Erotos. I’ll make it count!” Olivia said intently.

The kiss ended. For a brief moment, she and Adam 69 just stood there in a deep embrace, their naked bodies pressing together in a growing heat of passion. She could feel his fully-erect penis pressing against her. She was just as certain he could feel the heat radiating from her pussy. Gazing into his eyes, exchanging with him a seductive grin, the next phase of the test had arrived.

“Adam 69,” she said in a deep, affectionate voice, “take me to the bed.”

“Yes, my darling,” Adam 69 responded.

It didn’t come off as a pre-recorded response, like so many others. When Olivia heard it, she believed it. That belief became stronger as Adam 69 picked her up with his powerful arms, prompting her to throw her legs around his waist and hold onto his shoulders. As he carried her over to the bed, he kissed her with loving affection, not letting the passion of the moment wane for an instant.

Olivia knew that Adam 69 was more than human. She understood that Erotos had engineered him like every other model. However, from her perspective, he was still a man. She sensed in him a deeper feeling that went beyond the latest model of an experiment. She sought to explore that feeling with him in the most intimate way possible.

Upon arriving at the bed, Adam 69 laid her down in the center and got on top of her. The impossibly soft sheets felt like a cloud cradling her naked body. Still kissing her passionately, he followed more of those inborn instincts and prepared to enter her. She kept her legs wrapped around his waist, the balls of her feet digging right into his lower back. She felt him adjust and align their bodies so that his manhood was perfectly aligned with the entrance to her womanly depths.

“Please,” Olivia said with a mix of desperation and desire, “I want to feel you inside me.”

“I want to feel it to…Olivia,” Adam 69 said.

With their desires and bodies now perfectly in line, the impossibly handsome man thrust his hips forward and entered her. Immediately, Olivia let out a gasp that echoed throughout the cosmos.

“Ooh yes!” she cried out.

It was like a missing piece of her soul had finally found her. The way his masculine flesh filled her feminine depths was akin to two matched puzzle pieces coming together, perfectly matched and ideally molded for one another. The hot, intense sensations the followed filled her mind and body with a special kind of bliss. For all Olivia knew, she was the first woman to ever experience such a feeling.

In Adam 69’s reaction, she saw more than just a man enjoying the sensations of a hot vagina surrounding his dick. As he looked at her and she looked back at him, she saw someone who had achieved his ultimate purpose. Who he was and what he strived to be had culminated in that moment, evoking a pleasure that went beyond flesh.

“Olivia…my love,” Adam said in a passionate daze.

“Adam,” she gasped, “make love to me.”

No further instructions were necessary. Instinct, desire, and affection took over. The impassioned look in his eyes remained strong as he drew her into another kiss as their naked bodies began moving to the rhythm of sexual bliss.

Together, they navigated their passions into a perfectly balanced pace. With his knees and feet digging into the bed, Adam 69 laterally worked his masculine form along hers, his manly sinews meshing perfectly with her feminine curves. Olivia complemented those motions, shifting her hips and tensing her legs so that every motion maximized their fleshly entwinement. If there was such a thing as a perfect blend of love and sex, she and Adam 69 had definitely achieved it.

“The data…so raw and complete,” Erotos said over the sounds of various grunts and moans. “It’s beautiful!”

That sentiment seemed fitting, an alien intelligence finding beauty in such an intimate act. Olivia kept the data flowing, kissing her advanced lover passionately while raking her fingers over his back. She shared with him all the grunts and gasps of their sex, affectionately clinging to onto one another as they pushed the limits of intimate bliss.

Olivia quickly found herself on the brink of orgasm. It might have been the quickest, most efficient ascension to the ultimate ecstasy in the history of the female body. Simple, missionary-style sex wasn’t supposed to be that effective, at least under ordinary circumstances. However, there was nothing ordinary about what she was experiencing. The love she and Adam 69 were making was set to redefine the limits of sex, love, and everything in between.

“Adam! Oh Adam! I’m close! I’m…I’m so close!” she panted as the feeling closed in.

“Yes…I feel it too!” Adam gasped. “I…I want to come with you.”

“Me too! Let’s…share this together!”

The rhythm of their love intensified. Their naked bodies moved faster and with greater urgency. While the kissing ceased, the touching and caressing intensified. Her eyes were locked with his, taking in every detail of his loving expression. There was so much passion radiating from his eyes…passions that were both very human and distinctly alien. The feeling they were creating together was more than just an orgasm. It was an intimate connection on a cosmic scale.

“Oohhh Adam!”

“Ohhh Olivia!”

In a moment where the line between two bodies body and two souls disappeared, she and Adam climaxed. It might not have been the first time in human history that two lovers achieved simultaneous orgasm, but Olivia believed what they’d just achieved was the most profound.

Their bodies were perfectly synchronized every step of the way, her inner folds contracting around his rigid member as his manly fluids mixed with her feminine juices. Through the blissful process, her toes curled, his back arched, and their grip on one another intensified. Together, they bathed in the ecstasy of such an intense release. As the ripples of pleasure coursed through their naked bodies, their eyes never diverted. As far as Olivia was concerned, Adam 69 was the center of her universe, just as she was the center of hers.

Through that strong feeling, it was easy to forget that the love they’d just made was still a test and one directed by an alien, no less. In the heat of such a powerful moment, it was an afterthought. That didn’t make the results of the test any less conclusive.

“This is it. After so many tests, analysis, and alterations, I believe we’ve done it,” said Erotos from his console. “The perfect manifestation of physical and intimate bonding, represented in both raw data and abstract ideals…it’s very real, observed and documented.”

“Mmm…real indeed,” Olivia said with a satisfied purr.

“I don’t think you understand, Olivia,” Erotos went on. “Millennia ago, my kind sought to transcend biology and all its limited experiences. When we succeeded, we could evolve even faster, venturing to the stars and beyond. However, to do through mere mechanistic means was…unfulfilling.”

Olivia already knew that part of the Zetania Cluster’s history. Erotos had shared much of it during their first encounter. Knowing that history was a major factor in her choosing to help Erotos with his tests. Now, that fateful choice had gained even greater significance.

“For too long, my people have been in conflict,” Erotos went on. “Some seek to reconnect with our biological roots and the intimate nature of its many forms. Others seek to merely copy it into a mechanical form, as if it were another tool. What I just observed…what you’ve helped me conclude, Olivia Allen…is proof that there’s a way to synthesize the two. We can evolve our bodies while also forging close, intimate connections.”

“That, we can,” Olivia said, almost humored that so many tests were needed to reach such a conclusion.

“The implications are vast,” Erotos said, “both for my kind and yours. More tests are likely necessary to replicate the results, but I suspect both you and Adam Mark 69 won’t mind indulging such scientific rigor.”

“No, we won’t,” said Adam 69 with a wide grin.

“Not in the slightest,” Olivia said.

As if to prove themselves to Erotos, they shared a loving kiss to cap off their sex. Their intimate flesh parted in the process, but they remained entwined in their passionate embrace. Data or no data, the feeling they’d created was still strong.

“Officially, this test is over,” Erotos said. “There is much to compile. Adam Mark 69 will remain intact, preserved, and stored comfortably for future efforts.”

“That’s good to know,” said Olivia while caressing his manly face. “I don’t see how you’ll be able to improve on this.”

“I’m glad you like this form. It is, by far, my favorite compared to all the others,” said Adam 69.

That was another unique aspect of alien tech. Adam 69 was a unique consciousness, but he’d been in multiple bodies. Erotos explained on their first encounter that his race knew how to store, preserve, and transfer consciousness the same way she transferred text messages on her phone. Over time, that consciousness had evolved to a point where it could function with or without a body. Having just made love to him, Olivia definitely preferred that he keep the body.

“If you wish, I can end this test now,” Erotos said. “I can put Adam Mark 69 in stasis. I can send you back. You’ll wake up in your bed, rested and with a complete memory of what you experienced.”

“Or…you could let us stay for a couple more hours,” Olivia suggested, already gazing seductively at Adam 69, “you know, to make more love and capture more data.”

“I would certainly not be opposed to that,” said Adam 69.

Olivia wasn’t sure if Erotos had a sense of humor. Their kind might not even have a concept of humor. However, they did seem to understand innuendo.

“I see no reason to deny such a request,” said Erotos. “Feel free to make love as many times as you wish. I can always use some extra data.”

“So could we,” said Olivia, “so much data.”

“Data, intimacy, and love,” Adam 69 said distantly. “I cannot think of a more worthy purpose!”

Olivia still didn’t know how to read the face of an advanced alien, but she swore she saw a smile. Test or no test, she’d found something special and uniquely human on an alien ship. In her arms, upon a bed made of materials that might not have been from Earth, she had the perfect lover with which to share an intimate connection.

Armed with that connection, they shared another kiss before making love again, letting their bodies and passions run free with desire. However many times they made love and however many positions they utilized, one crucial piece of data made every sensation more satisfying.

Life, no matter where it came from or what form it took, could venture to the farthest reaches of the cosmos through sheer will and resolve. However, when it came to forging purpose in every endeavor, large or small, having an intimate connection made the journey more satisfying.

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When Aliens Invade The Best, Worst, And Most Likely Scenario

alien_invasion_600

It’s a common, but appealing theme in science fiction. One day, we think we’re alone in the universe. The next, aliens invade and our species is never the same. Whether it sparks a war for survival like in “Independence Day” or leads to a new era of inter-stellar cooperation like in “Mass Effect,” it’s a profound moment. It may be the one case in which our collective imagination is too limited to appreciate the implications.

The concept of first contact is daunting enough. Just discovering extraterrestrial life in the universe would be groundbreaking. Making contact with it would be downright overwhelming for our species. It might be the closest thing human beings ever get to a true religious experience, making contact with another species from the stars.

An invasion, however, carries with it a special kind of impact, albeit a traumatic kind. Science fiction tells all sorts of stories about it, but chances are that the real-world possibilities don’t come close to the fantasy we all envision. Whether it’s triumph after a stirring speech from President Whitmore or doom at the hands of Martian invaders, the truth probably somewhere in between.

I’ve argued before that the human race isn’t ready for contact with aliens, but we’re close. I also believe that if extraterrestrial aliens ever do arrive, they won’t be hostile invaders. If they’re advanced enough to travel the vast distance of the cosmos, then they’re advanced enough to not need anything here on Earth. There’s abundant water, minerals, and rare elements throughout space that are fare easier to obtain.

However, that all assumes that an extraterrestrial species would act in accord with incentives that most humans understand. That could be a flawed assumption. If an extraterrestrial species is truly alien, then their thoughts, feelings, and motivations could be alien too. It’s not impossible that a species would evolve to be inherently hostile to any other sentient life.

With that in mind, I’d like to present a few potential scenarios on how an alien invasion would play out for humanity. I believe there are a few instances in which our species would survive and even be stronger. There are also a few in which our hopes of survival are effectively zero. I don’t claim that any of these are definitive. This is just my attempt to speculate on how an invasion would pan out for humanity.


Worst Case Scenario: Aliens See Humans As Cockroaches

This is the scenario that movies like “Independence Day” or “Predator” often utilize. The invading aliens are advanced, capable of technology that traverses interstellar space with ease. They arrive on Earth, seeing its resources as ripe for the taking. They invade, seeing humans as nothing more than annoying insects. They deal with them the same way we deal with ants.

While those movies often build stories around human beings finding a way to win the day, either by discovering a hidden weakness or somehow hacking alien computers, it’s doubtful that this is how it would play out. If an alien species is hostile and they have access to technology so advanced that it might as well be magic to lesser species, then we have no chance.

In this scenario, there’s nothing humanity can do to fight back. The President Whitmores of the world could give all the inspiring speeches they want. We wouldn’t have a chance against these creatures. We would be like mosquitoes trying to stop an oncoming nuclear missile. We wouldn’t have a chance and at most, we would just annoy the aliens.

In some cases, humanity could survive by simply avoiding the aliens and live underground in hopes that they’ll eventually leave. If the invaders are intent on turning Earth into a base or strip-mining it entirely, then that’s just delaying the inevitable.

In other cases, the invading aliens could see humanity as lab rats or pets. The only reason they would keep some humans alive would be as resources. On many levels, it would be even worse than slavery because the aliens wouldn’t even value anything we could do. They would just value our flesh the same way we might value a mineral.

One way or another, humans don’t survive this invasion. We either get wiped out with ease or turned into glorified pets for aliens. It’s the one alien contact scenario we would want to avoid and one that the late Stephen Hawking dreaded the most. While I think it’s unlikely that we’ll encounter intelligent aliens this hostile, I don’t deny that it’s still a frightening possibility.


Best Case Scenario: Inept And Incompetent Invaders

This is something a lot of common sci-fi tropes rely on. You have a race of aliens advanced enough to master inter-stellar travel, but incompetent enough to lose a war against a bunch of hairless apes who kill each other over what they think happens when they die. Essentially, any story in which humanity defeats invading aliens has to rely on this.

While there are plenty of absurdities inherent in those stories, it’s not impossible to imagine an invading alien race that’s incompetent. We assume that any advanced alien race that can travel across interstellar space has to be competent to some extent. However, just because they can travel across the stars doesn’t mean they’ll be effective invaders.

The best example of this, in my opinion, comes from a series of novels by Harry Turtledove entitled “Worldwar.” In the story, an alien race invades Earth in the middle of World War II. However, the aliens in this story aren’t some unkillable monstrosities like the Xenomorphs. They’re a race of reptilian creatures who just made some false assumptions.

In the novels, which I highly recommend, the aliens advance at a much slower pace than humanity. What takes us 100 years to produce technologically takes them 1,000. When they first observed Earth, we were in medieval times. They assumed that humans advanced at a similar rate and would be push-overs by the time their fleet arrived. They were dead wrong.

If humanity ever has to deal with an alien invasion, these are the kinds of invaders we should hope for. It’s not just that they make false assumptions and grossly underestimate other species. An invasion by inept aliens means humanity has a fighting chance.

While it may still make for a bloody and brutal war, like the one that unfolds in the “Worldwar” series, that war may ultimately unite the human race in ways that would not be possible in any other scenario. Former President Ronald Reagan even pointed this out in a famous speech to the UN and I think he’s right.

Humanity has never had a singular existential threat that would require every race, ethnic group, and nation to unite. For our entire history, we’ve never had to deal with an advanced species trying to wipe us out. Having that threat means we have to work together or die. No matter how much humans disagree over trivial things, survival tends to overrule petty grievances.

In the long run, that kind of unity might help the human race come together in a way we can’t imagine, given our current state of disunity. As bad as a war against alien invaders can be, it could bring out the best in us if we have a fighting chance. Unfortunately, that chance is contingent on the invaders being incompetent and I think that’s hoping for too much.


Most Likely Scenario: Aliens Invaders Are Indifferent To Humanity

Of all the invasion scenarios, both in fiction and those with a passing connection to reality, I think this is the most likely. Again, it assumes that invading aliens are competent enough to get what they want, regardless of whether or not the human race wants it. If their technology is sufficiently advanced, it won’t matter what humanity wants.

However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that aliens see humans as bugs that need exterminating. It’s far more likely that they’ll see humans the same way drivers see an ant hill on the side of a major highway. They’ll barely notice. They might not even realize we’re there and we, in turn, might be completely oblivious to them.

Even if Earth has some resource that invading aliens want, it makes more sense to just take it without humans noticing. That way they don’t have to fight a war. It’s not that they couldn’t win that war with ease. It would just be exceedingly inconvenient. It would be like blowing up a dam just to water your garden.

For all we know, this has already happened. There may have been multiple occasions where intelligent aliens have passed by our planet, dropped in, and taken some resources without anyone knowing. Given how humans have only existed on this planet for a small fraction of its history, it’s entirely possible that advanced aliens have already visited and determined there’s nothing worth seeing.

Even if they did arrive at a time when humans were present, they would be plenty advanced to either evade detection or fool anyone they came across. The human brain is easy to trick, especially if aliens have some sort of cloaking technology or can shape-shift like the Skrulls in Marvel Comics. Deceiving people, even in today’s connected world, wouldn’t be too tricky for them.

If the aliens just want something minor that doesn’t require exterminating all life on Earth, it makes more sense to just slip in and take it. The only reason invading aliens would ever be hostile in this scenario is if humans got in their way or created an obstacle, of sorts. In that case, it wouldn’t entirely be the fault of the aliens for attacking.

I think this is most likely because I believe, in our current form, humans haven’t done enough to really make themselves worthy of contact with intelligent aliens. Sure, we have a space program and we’ve created world-ending technology, but we haven’t shown an ability to affect much beyond our own planet. I think until that changes, any advanced alien civilization wouldn’t have much interest in us.

That’s still assumes a lot about the intentions of advanced alien life, which can certainly be wrong. However, until we actually meet alien life, we won’t know what to expect. There are plenty of possibilities in which such contact would benefit the human race immensely, but there are far more possibilities in which that event goes horribly wrong.

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Jack Fisher’s Weekly Quick Pick Comic: Meet The Skrulls #1

Every Wednesday is basically a holy day for comic book fans, minus the prayers, confessions, or itchy formal clothes. Like gifts from Heaven, a new batch of comics is bestowed upon this incredibly flawed world and, if only briefly, everything feels a little more awesome.

This week’s comics arrive under unique circumstances with the release of the “Captain Marvel” movie. Any new entry from the Marvel Cinematic Universe is bound to gain more attention, albeit for the wrong reasons, at times. However, in spite of and because of such circumstances, some comics stand out more than others.

In terms of comics that feel perfectly timed and beautifully relevant, “Meet The Skrulls #1” really raises the bar. It’s not a comic about superheroes or mundane family drama, either. It’s one of those books with a unique, but intriguing concept that involves shape-shifting aliens, teen melodrama, and catching politicians in compromising positions. That made it an easy choice for my weekly comic quick pick.

It may sound like a strange collection of plots, but that’s exactly what “Meet The Skrulls #1” delivers. It’s the first issue of a mini-series by Robbie Thompson and Niko Henrichon and it chronicles the mission of the Warner family. Part of that mission just happens to involve being a typical suburban family.

It almost seems too ideal for any mission involving the skrulls. The father, Carl, works at Stark Industries and has a front-row seat to Iron Man’s high-tech antics. The mother, Gloria, works for a congresswoman and specializes in making her opponents miserable. Their two daughters, Madison and Alice, are teenage girls attending high school, which gives them more incentive than most to hasten an alien invasion.

The concept is great, but not just because it involves shape-shifting aliens and teenage melodrama. “Meet The Skrulls #1” provides a rare, but meaningful opportunity to tell a story from the perspective of the villains. Throughout much of Marvel’s history, Skrulls have always either been outright villains or generally antagonistic to everyone on Earth and not just their heroes.

That behavior isn’t entirely contrived, though. The Skrulls are, by their nature, a very warlike race. Their society, their culture, and their very biology is driven by war, infiltration, and subversion. More than one major Marvel event has been built around it and it’s very possible they’ll bring major complications to the MCU.

However, this collection of Skrulls aren’t just some military unit with the same depth as the henchmen of a James Bond villain. The Warners are an actual family. The parents show concern for their children. The children find ways to frustrate their parents. They deal with personal, professional, and identity issues. It utilizes sentiments that resonates with everyone, regardless of whether they’re a shape-shifting alien.

Meet The Skrulls #1” does plenty to introduce the Warners and explain their mission. Compared to other Skrull missions, it doesn’t vary that much in terms of goals. They still seek to invade and take over Earth, but not just because the cries of tortured humans makes them happy. They’re actually trying to create a new home for themselves and the Warners, in many ways, are the first to experience that home.

That home is already subject to many challenges. While the Warners are carrying out their mission, there’s a looming threat that promises to undermine that mission and rip apart their family. The identity and extent of that threat is only hinted at, but it certainly raises the stakes for the family. It’s not just about completing a mission. Now, it’s about protecting one another.

They’re still not heroes, but they’re not entirely villains. Sure, they want to invade Earth and take it over, but they also want to build a home for themselves. They want to create a better life for their people and their children. Even though it puts them at odds with the Avengers and everyone else on Earth, their goals feel relatable and relevant.

On top of that, the teenage melodrama with Madison and Alice provides more complications, but in a good way. They’re still part of the mission, but they’re hardly on the same page. One is all too happy to manipulate humans to her own advantage. The other feels a kinship with them that worries her family.

There are so many conflicts brewing and “Meet The Skrulls #1” cultivates them without resorting to standard superhero spectacles. That, alone, makes this comic feel like a breath of fresh air. Not every comic book has to follow a superhero as they fight monsters and get caught up in terrible love triangles. There is room for new perspectives and new insights.

Thompson and Henrichon set up a lot, in terms of plot and potential. There’s only so much they’ll be able to realize in a five-issue mini-series, but that’s exactly what makes “Meet The Skrulls #1” so enjoyable. Every moment counts and with Skrulls about to have their big breakout on the big screen, the timing couldn’t be better.

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Why Intelligent Aliens May Destroy Us Even If They’re Peaceful (According To Mass Effect)

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What would happen if we went back in time and gave the Genghis Khan nuclear weapons?

What  would happen if we went back even further and gave machine guns to the Ancient Romans?

Let’s be even more subtle. What do you think would happen if you gave Aristotle a functioning smartphone with a complete catalog of Wikipedia? How much would that change the course of history? More importantly, how much damage would it potentially incur?

I consider myself an optimist. I generally place more faith in humanity than most people in this age of fake news and heavy cynicism. I have my reasons for doing so, but even my confidence in the human species has limits. I trust most people to do the right thing every time I drive my car on the highway. That doesn’t mean I’d trust a caveman from 10,000 BC to drive a fully-loaded tank.

I make this point because these are legitimate concerns consider when assessing how humanity deals with emerging technology. We can barely handle some of the technology we already have. How will we handle things like advanced artificial intelligence, gene hacking, or advanced robotics?

I’ve stated before that the human race is not ready for advanced artificial intelligence in its current state. I’ve also stated that the human race isn’t ready for contact with an advanced alien species, either. I believe we’re close. We may even be ready within my lifetime. However, if aliens landed tomorrow and brought an advanced artificial intelligence with them, I think our civilization and our species would be in trouble.

I also think the human race would be in danger even if those same aliens were peaceful. Even if they brought a super-intelligent AI that was as compassionate and caring as Mr. Rogers, our species would still face an existential crisis. To explain why, I’ll need to revisit one of my favorite video games of all time, “Mass Effect.”

The various themes of this game, and the lore behind it, offer many insights into very relevant questions. In addition to the timeless hilarity of bad dancing skills, the game crafts a rich history between alien races like the Quarians and the Geth. That history reflected the dangers of mishandling advanced artificial intelligence, an issue humanity will have to deal with in the coming decades.

There is, however, another rich history between alien races within “Mass Effect” that offers a similar lesson. This one has less to do with artificial intelligence and more to do with what happens when a species technology that it’s not ready to handle. That danger is well-documented in the game through a hardy race of beings called the Krogan.

Like the Quarian/Geth conflict, the conflict surrounding Krogan has some real-world parallels. However, I would argue that their story Krogan is more relevant because it serves as a warning for what could happen when an advanced species uplifts one that is less advanced.

In the mythos of “Mass Effect,” the Krogan were once a primitive, but hardy species that evolved on the harsh world of Tuchanka. They’re reptilian, high-functioning predators in nature. They’re basically a cross between a velociraptor, a crocodile, and a primate. They have a tough, war-like culture, which is necessary on a world that contained hulking Thresher Maws.

They were not a species most would expect to develop advanced technology. Then, the Salarians came along. Unlike the Korgan, this amphibious alien race isn’t nearly as hardy, but is much more adept at developing advanced technology. In most circumstances, they wouldn’t have given the Krogan a second thought. Unfortunately, they were in the middle of the Rachni War and they needed help.

You don’t need to know the full details of that war. The most critical detail, as it relates to advancing an unprepared species, is how this war came to define the Krogan. Neither the Salarians nor the other alien races in the game could defeat the Rachni. In a fit of desperation, they uplifted the Krogan by giving them weapons and advanced knowledge.

In the short-term, the Salarians achieved what they’d hoped. The Krogan helped defeat the Rachni. In the long-term, however, it created another inter-stellar war in the Krogan Rebellions. Apparently, giving a hardy, war-like species advanced weapons doesn’t make them less war-like. It just gives them better tools with which to fight wars. That may sound obvious, but keep in mind, the Salarians were desperate.

The details of this war end up playing a major role in both “Mass Effect” and “Mass Effect 3.” That’s because to stop the Krogan, the Salarians resorted to another act of desperation. They crafted a biological weapon known as the genophage, which significantly curtailed the Krogan’s rapid breeding rate.

The damage this did to the Krogan race cannot be understated. Through the entire trilogy of “Mass Effect,” characters like Wrex and Eve describe how this destroyed Krogan society. In “Mass Effect 3,” Eve talks about how the genophage created massive piles of stillborn Krogan babies. That kind of imagery can haunt even the most battle-hardened species.

In the end, both the Salarians and the Krogan paid a huge price for giving technology to a species that wasn’t ready for it. Depending on the decision you make in “Mass Effect 3,” the Krogan species is doomed to extinction because of how ill-prepared they were. This haunted more than a few Salarians as well, one of which played a significant role in a memorable side-story in “Mass Effect 2.”

Regardless of how the game plays out, there’s an underlying message at the heart of the Salarian/Krogan dynamic. When a species is uplifted by another so abruptly, it’s difficult to see the long-term ramifications. Even though the Salarians were in a dire situation, they ended up creating one that had the potential to be much worse.

That danger is actually more pressing because, unlike advanced artificial intelligence, the act of uplifting a species effectively skips over the cultural and societal evolution that’s necessary to handle new technology. The Krogan never got a chance to go through that process before getting that technology. As a result, they became an existential threat to themselves and others.

The human race still has a long way to go before it creates the kind of artificial intelligence that would constitute such a threat. Aliens on the level of Salarians could land tomorrow and there would be nothing we could do to prepare ourselves. Whatever knowledge or technology we gained could do more than just upend human society. It could irreparably damage our species, as a whole.

Some of that outcome would depend on the intentions of the advanced alien race. It could be the case that they’re not like the Salarians and aren’t looking to enlist humanity in a war. It could also be the case that they’re smart enough to not give primitive humans advanced weapons. That could mitigate the risk.

However, that still assumes humans won’t find a way to use advanced knowledge to make weapons. When Otto Hahn discovered nuclear fission in 1938, he didn’t have any idea that it would be used to make a bomb that would kill go onto kill over 100,000 people. Even if advanced aliens are really smart, how could they be sure that humanity won’t use advanced knowledge to create something more horrific?

Sure, they could try to stop us, but that could only make things worse. The genophage wasn’t the Salarians’ first recourse. They actually went to war with the Krogan. They suffered heavy losses and so did the Krogan. In the long run, uplifting a less advanced species was detrimental to both of them.

That doesn’t just put the famous Fermi Paradox into a new context. It demonstrates a real, tangible threat associated with advancing a species before it’s ready. I would argue that the human race is close to that point, but we’re still not there. We have issues managing the technology we’ve created. There’s no way we can handle advanced alien technology at the moment.

Mass Effect,” in addition to being one of the greatest video games of the past two decades, offers many lessons for the future of humanity. It shows that humans are capable of great things. We have what it takes to join an entire galaxy full of advanced alien life. For our sake, and that of other advanced aliens, we cannot and should not rush it.

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Is The Human Race Ready For Contact With Alien Life?

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In general, I tend to have a high opinion of the human race. I believe that, in general, people are inherently good and will do the right thing in the long run, even if it requires mistakes and missteps along the way. Some of my personal experiences have fed this belief, as well as stories of incredible acts of compassion.

I say that as a preface because my faith in humanity does have limits. There are certain issues where those limits become a critical factor in answering major questions about where we are, as a species, and where we’re heading. I’ve tried answering some of those questions before, such as humanity’s readiness for advanced artificial intelligence. Now, I want to try to answer another where I feel humanity’s limits are a real issue.

It has to do with whether or not humans are alone in the universe. It’s probably one of the most fundamental questions our species has ever asked, inspiring heated debates, famous equations, and Hollywood blockbusters. I’ve certainly asked that question a time or two when looking up at the stars. I imagine there are few people who haven’t.

At the moment, the sheer size of the universe and the ever-growing number of planets we keep finding, the raw numbers make it almost certain that there’s other life outside our planet. It may even be within our own solar system. Just finding some microbes on one of Jupiter’s moons would be pretty profound, but I doubt it would bring that much change to the human race. Some might just brush it off or call it fake news.

It’s the act of discovering intelligent extraterrestrial life that has far greater implications for humanity. I would even argue that those implications could determine whether the human race will survive beyond the destruction of Earth, which is inevitable. Even advanced artificial intelligence wouldn’t compare because at least humans would create that. An intelligent alien civilization would be much less predictable.

In confronting this existential issue, I don’t believe movies or TV shows have come close to getting it right. “Contact” made a commendable effort, but never gave more than a half-answer. Movies like “Independence Day” and “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” were overly simplistic in their approach. That’s to be expected because, logistically speaking, there’s no way to fit all the implications into a single two-hour movie.

I believe that to answer the question of humanity’s readiness to confront an extraterrestrial species is multi-faceted. There are plenty of factors to consider, but before I get too bogged down by the particulars, I want to offer my personal opinion on the issue. Then, I hope to demonstrate why I have this opinion.

No, the human race is NOT ready for contact with intelligent extraterrestrial aliens, but we’re getting there.

I know that isn’t a straightforward answer. It may sound like I’m trying to stand on both sides of the fence, but like I said, the question is inherently complex. As such, it’s hard to offer a simple answer.

Part of the complexity comes from circumstances. In an instance where scientists on Earth identify an advanced alien species, possibly by detecting an alien mega structure like a Dyson Sphere around a distant star, I think the human race could handle that, for the most part.

Such a discovery would be, by far, the greatest ever made in the history of humanity. It would be the story of the millennium and confirm, once and for all, the answer to one of the most fundamental questions our species has ever asked. Getting an answer to that question would change how we see ourselves in the universe, but the extent of the impact would be limited.

Sure, it might cause some disruptions with respect to major religions, although some denominations already preparing for that. It might also cause some ripples in the social fabric of society. If we know there are alien civilizations in the universe that are more advanced than us, then suddenly we have fewer excuses to impose petty divisions within our own species.

There would be upheaval. There would be tension, as well. I still believe that society would adapt in that scenario. Once the shock wears off, we may very well go back to how we were before. Future generations would just shrug off the notion that advanced aliens exist and focus primarily on the issues directly affecting them on Earth.

There’s another instance, however, that has far more profound implications, as well as greater danger. In that scenario, the advanced alien civilization contacts us directly. Moreover, it effectively announces that it’s coming to meet us and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.

In that scenario, I don’t think the current order will remain intact. If we found out tomorrow that intelligent aliens exist and they’re on their way to greet us, I believe that society, as we know it, will fall apart under the weight of fear, uncertainty, and outright dread.

My reasons for believing this have less to do with my faith in humanity and more to do with my understanding of basic human psychology. It’s proven science that the human psyche is adverse to uncertainty. From a purely survival standpoint, that makes sense. Not knowing whether there’s a hungry lion hiding in the bushes is detrimental to our survival. We have a legitimate evolutionary reason for avoiding such situations.

An advanced alien civilization isn’t just a possible threat. It’s the ultimate uncertainty. Even if those aliens are peace-loving hippies who want nothing more than to create a utopian world for every species they encounter, we won’t know for certain. Even if they try to articulate their peaceful intentions, we may not believe them because assuming wrong would be more dire than any hungry lion.

If an alien civilization is advanced enough to both contact us and traverse interstellar space, then it’s highly likely that we wouldn’t stand a chance at stopping them. Despite what “Independence Day” might have you believe, there’s just no way we would be able to counter technology that could carry another species across the stars.

On top of that, we wouldn’t even know if these aliens were biological creatures, like us. More than a few scientists have speculated that it’s the natural path of all advanced life that it transcend its biology to become machines in part or entirely, which makes sense for any species that wants to survive in the vacuum of space. I would agree that any initial encounter humans have with advanced aliens will come in the form of a probe.

Even if that probe is no bigger than a basketball, its arrival on Earth would trigger so much panic that our society, economy, and political institutions wouldn’t survive in their current form. That’s not to say civilization would completely collapse. Some areas might descend into anarchy, but most wealthy countries would remain intact.

However, I believe they’ll remain intact through strict martial law. I also believe that, in the face of incoming aliens, there would be a huge scramble among nations to put together some sort of defense plan. Anyone remotely experienced with science or engineering would suddenly become incredibly valuable for their skills and likely be required to work on this issue.

No matter what recourse humanity takes, though, I don’t think it’ll matter once intelligent aliens arrive. The worst case scenario is that people are so afraid that a few become too trigger happy and attempt to attack. In that case, if the advanced aliens are the vindictive type, they would probably wipe humanity out with the same ease that we would use to step on an ant.

While I don’t think that scenario is that likely, I can certainly see fear dominating the discourse. It would probably extend beyond the initial contact. Even if  the aliens present themselves as friendly visitors, I imagine there will still be plenty of paranoia that it could all be a trick. Given how eager some people are to embrace conspiracy theories, I think this will cause plenty of problem, even in the best case scenario.

There’s still a chance that the human race could adapt to this encounter and be stronger because of it. However, if I had to bet money on the ultimate outcome, I wouldn’t wager much on that outcome. I think, at the moment, it’s more likely that fear and uncertainty will lead to the kind of irrational behavior that would prevent humanity from benefiting from an encounter with intelligent aliens.

As it stands, humans can’t even prevent conflict when encountering one another, especially if they look and act differently. I can’t imagine it would be much better if we encountered a species that was so different that we just had no way of relating to them. At least with minorities here on Earth, we share the same basic human template. For all we know, aliens will look, think, and feel things that are beyond our abilities.

Now, I know that scenario sounds bleak, especially for someone who claims to have more faith in humanity than most. However, there’s one last caveat that further complicates the issue and it has to do with the last part of my answer.

When I stated that the human race is not ready to encounter an advanced alien species, I mean that within a specific context. In the same way I don’t believe humanity is ready for advanced AI at the moment, I don’t think the collective psyche of the human race is to a point where we can accept the idea of confronting an intelligent alien civilization.

That, I do think we’re more ready today than we were 30 years ago. Humanity has made remarkable progress with respect to technology, society, and general welfare. Being more connected through media, the internet, and globalization has helped us better see ourselves as one species, at least to the extent our inherent tribalism will allow.

I believe that in the coming decades, especially as we augment our brains and our bodies, we’ll be more prepared to encounter an extraterrestrial intelligence. I’m not sure we’ll ever be completely ready, but I do think we’ll get to a point where we, as a society, will be able to handle it.

Whether or not that point comes within my lifetime or that of the kids being born today is hard to say, but given enough time and continued progress, I believe we’ll get there. For now, though, the prospect of encountering an intelligent alien civilization would incur some pretty detrimental effects on our species and our world. Even if aliens come in peace, we just not be ready to accept it.

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How Might Aliens Make Love?

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There was a brief time in my life when I was really into UFOs, extraterrestrials, and alien conspiracies. I would watch movies like “Independence Day” and “Men In Black” as though they were secret documentaries attempting to send secret messages to those who would listen.

Needless to say, I quickly outgrew the notion that aliens were real and the government was covering them up. As soon as I learned about the well-documented history of government ineptitude and the inherent flaws in most conspiracy theories, I realized that if aliens really existed and were really on this planet, then the government would be too incompetent to keep it a secret.

While I still believe it’s very likely that there’s intelligent life in the universe, if only because of the math is so overwhelming, I don’t think they’ve visited Earth. I don’t think they’re abducting people and probing them. Anything involving abduction and probing is more likely to involve a college prank gone horribly wrong.

Even if aliens aren’t visiting or abducting this planet, I still find myself fascinated by the concept. It’s probably a byproduct of loving comic books and Star Wars as a kid and an adult. As I’ve gotten older, though, I’ve been more fascinated by the possibilities that may come with alien life.

It’s not just that aliens may look and behave radically different. Their entire notion of thought, identity, and being may be completely unlike anything humans can conceive of. We are, after all, limited by the perceptions of being a specific sub-species of primates that evolved only a few hundred thousand years ago. The fact that the universe is around 13.8 billion years old leaves plenty of time for alien life to evolve.

There are any number of courses that alien life could take, from simple bacteria to intelligent beings. Many people much smarter than I’ll ever be have imagined the possible forms life can take. I’m not going to try and speculate on the aesthetics. What does interest me, though, is how those same aliens might make love.

By that, I don’t just mean how they’ll reproduce. If any kind of life, alien or otherwise, is to survive in this universe, it has to reproduce somehow. Whether by sex, spores, or cloning, reproduction is a necessary constant. Being an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I’m much more intrigued by the intricacies behind it.

Yes, humans use sex to reproduce, but it has other non-procreative functions. Humans aren’t the only ones who do it either. Like any product of nature, a trait or behavior has to be flexible in order to be viable. Logically, that should apply to aliens as much as it does to life on Earth.

Granted, that’s an assumption on the part of one human with an admitted love of romance. It’s still one that has a basis in logic, given what we understand about the biology of emotions. Those emotions help social animals like humans coordinate, adapt, survive, and thrive to the point where they can build space ships and contemplate life on other worlds.

If intelligent life does exist, then it’s entirely possible that alien life might follow a similar path. It might not be on the level of convergent evolution, but there’s a great deal of adaptive potential in a species’ ability to coordinate and connect with one another. Love might very well be the key, at least for certain alien species.

I’m not saying it’s impossible for an intelligent alien species to evolve without an emotional connection analogous to love, but I think it’s more likely that it would, if only because it has such strong adaptive potential. In order to realize that potential, though, an alien would have to have some way of expressing it, both physically and emotionally.

It’s that kind of alien passion that I find both interesting and alluring to some extent. Comic books, movies, and TV shows do plenty to show us how terrifying and sexy aliens can be. However, they rarely get into the intricacies of alien passion. If they do, it’s usually overly humanized or overly gruesome.

I suspect that if aliens do indeed feel some kind of love, they’re not going to express it in a way that’ll make for a sexy scene with Captain Kirk. Their idea of love may be so alien that it warrants a very alien way of expressing it. It may or may not have anything to do with reproduction, but it would likely be a key component of their social structure.

There are some examples of it in popular culture. I think “Avatar” did a good job of exploring alien love, using a kinky trick involving ponytails to express an intimate bond. It’s not the same as using genitals, but the intent is the same. It’s to forge an intimate, loving bond.

Another interesting manifestation of alien love comes from the pages of Spider-Man comics. I’ve mentioned the parasitic symbiotes before when discussing human enhancement, but there’s another interesting detail to their species that often gets overlooked. When a symbiote bonds with a host, like the Venom symbiote did with Spider-Man, it actually loves them in a strange, alien sort of way.

It’s not a love that’s entirely connected to sex or reproduction. From the perspective of the alien symbiote, the bonding process itself can produce a kind of love. Granted, it can be a very abusive love at times, but that nicely reflects the greater complexities of love. It’s not just that thing we see too much of in old John Hughes movies. It can be creative, destructive, and everything in between.

Where alien love gets really interesting, however, is when we start to imagine what happens to a species once it reaches a certain level of advancement. Specifically, what happens to a species when their technology becomes so advanced that they merge with it, transcending their biology and integrating with machinery? That sort of change is bound to affect a lot of things about a species, including how they express love.

We’re already seeing hints of that advancement with the human race. We’ve already developed a very close relationship with our technology, some more so than others. That relationship will likely grow closer as hacking our genetics mixes with internal implants like the kind Elon Musk wants to develop.

At some point, it’ll be necessary for an advanced species to adapt themselves to the harsh environments of space. There are just too many resources in space and too much room to explore. There are some in the field of searching for alien life who believe that if we do find another intelligent species, it’s likely they’ll be partially or entirely machine.

It may very well be the case that almost every advanced species goes through a process in which they merge with machines and transcend their biological limits. When that happens, and some believe it will happen to humans, what will happen to love? Will we or intelligent aliens still feel or express it?

I think it will, but it’ll be radically different than the love we know. That’s because simply being a cold, calculating machine has limits in the same way that being an irrationally emotional mess has limits too. A truly advanced species won’t sacrifice one for the other. They would find a way to perfect both.

A species that advanced may not even have bodies with which to express love. They may become some collection of nanobots that shape-shift into whatever form is necessary for a given situation. Famed futurist, Ray Kurzweil, called it the human body 3.0. In a body like that, expressing love may involve more than just kissing or touching. It may simply involve the exchange of emotional data.

To some extent, that’s what love really is at its core. It’s an exchange of emotion between two or more individuals. The nature of that exchange is limited to how an individual expresses themselves. If their cognition is vastly enhanced by artificial intelligence and their bodies are infinitely malleable thanks to nanotechnology, then in theory, there are ways of expressing love that we humans literally cannot imagine.

Even if we can’t wrap our primate brains around it, it’s still an interesting/sexy idea to entertain. I believe that if humans ever discover advanced alien life, it will likely involve a species that has merged with its technology. There’s still a chance we may encounter aliens with biological forms like ours so there’s still hope for those with an alien fetish.

Whatever form aliens take, and regardless of whether or not they have sex appeal to us, I think it’s likely they’ll have some form of love that they express among one another. Whether or not they’ll express it with humans or other advanced species is hard to tell. One day, we may find out and if we can find a way to share in that love, then that bodes well for the universe, as a whole.

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Filed under Aliens, human nature, philosophy, sex in society, sexuality