What’s the best way to make a vacation sexier? That’s a trick question. Just being on vacation, especially one that allows you to spend less time paying bills and more time naked, is inherently sexy. When clothing, work, and so much else is optional, you’re bound to feel more energy, especially the sexy kind.
I know this because, as I type these sexy words, I’m looking out at a beautiful beach. That’s right. I’m on vacation. I’m literally sitting on a balcony from a hotel, watching the sun rise over the ocean. It’s as relaxing as it sounds and then some.
For the next several days, my sole concern involves lounging on the beach, hanging out at beach bars, and admiring beautiful women in bikinis. I have every intention of enjoying it to the utmost. It might very well be my last vacation of the summer before changes in weather makes extended periods of nudity more difficult.
Vacation or not, my mind never stops thinking sexy things. If anything, being at a beach in the hottest days of summer only makes those thoughts sexier. As such, I’ll try to incorporate every last bit of that sexiness into this week’s edition of “Sexy Sunday Thoughts.” Enjoy!
“If variety truly is the spice of life, then a man’s porn collection is the perfect embodiment of that concept.”
“When you think about it, a female version of James Bond is a stereotypical porn star.”
“Getting sex advice from your parents is like getting vegan recipes from a cannibal.”
“There are very few ways to ruin a blowjob, but a great many ways to screw up the process of requesting one.”
“It’s usually a bad sign when your lover says they want great sex, but isn’t too eager to practice.”
“If the key to a man’s heart was really through his stomach, then wouldn’t the sexiest women in the world all be professional chefs?”
“The average orgasm for a man lasts 7 seconds. The average orgasm for a woman lasts 20. THAT’S why there will never be true gender equality.”
“When you think about it, a fetish is just a type of sex with a really passionate fanbase.”
Even if you’re stuck working, I hope these lurid musings help tide you over until your next vacation, whenever it may be. I know it’s not the same as a tropical getaway, but sometimes you got to take what you can get. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a beautiful beach to enjoy and some beautiful women in bikinis to admire.