Sexy Sunday Thoughts: The Heat Wave Edition

I usually avoid talking about the weather because, more often than not, it’s the topic of last resort. However, sometimes it’s worth talking about. It wasn’t that long ago when I was snowed in for a couple days. Now, it’s hotter than a camel’s nut sack and there are only so many clothes I can legally take off.

As I type these words, everywhere within a 100-mile radius of my home is in the middle of a heat wave. I’m pretty sure I could fry an egg and cook bacon on the hood of a car. At this point in the summer, most people should be used to this kind of heat. There’s just no adjusting to the feeling of walking into an oven, just to get the damn mail.

That said, I still prefer sweating my ass off, as opposed to freezing my balls off. I like not having to dress in layers every time I go outside so I won’t complain about the heat too much. If nothing else, the heat allows me to be naked more often and that can only help the progress on my sexy novels.

Wherever you may be this summer, I hope you have a way to stay cool while still staying sexy. It is possible to strike a balance. I hope this week’s edition of “Sexy Sunday Thoughts” can help in that effort.


“I shudder when I imagine what was going through the mind of the person who invented the butt plug.”


“We’re rapidly approaching a place in our culture where liking a sexy picture of someone counts as foreplay.”


“Women don’t know the power of oral sex until they ask a favor of a man who just received it.”


“The desire to have sex in the backseat of a car often involves overestimating one’s flexibility.”


“Seeking advice from a celibate priest on your sex life is like asking a cow for advice on cooking steaks.”

“If our genitals had lawyers, then divorce proceedings would be a lot more complicated, but way sexier.”


“If a woman offers a man oral sex before a kiss, then people think she’s a prostitute. If a man offers a woman oral sex before a kiss, then people think he’s just being extra considerate.”


As we endure more heat waves, I encourage everyone to stay cool in any way, except in their pants. Some parts of your body are worth keeping warm, no matter the season. Heat waves may come in go. Certain kinds of heat will find a way to keep burning. Trust me. You’ll take comfort in that once the winter rolls in.

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