Tag Archives: romance

December 1, 2016 · 6:19 am

Sex Vs. Love: A (Somewhat) Fair Fight

There’s a reason why sports, video games, and WWE wrestling have so much appeal. They give us a chance to either participate or observe in a contest of wits, skill, or (in the case of the WWE) theatrics. If the rules are solid and not arbitrarily enforced by Roger Goodell, then the competition is fair and so too is the appeal.

This brings me to the never-ending competition between sex and love. Bear with me. I know that sounds like a complete non-sequiter from someone who made the mistake of writing a blog post while horny. I promise there’s a reason for this approach and it has little (relatively speaking) to do with being horny.

In reflecting how our attitudes about sex and violence are more erratic than a brain-damaged squirrel on crack, I feel compelled to highlight a conflict in which there are far more winners than losers. When it comes to sex and love, I like to think there are very few losers, at least for those who don’t learn about these topics through priests, mullahs, and porn.

When it comes to sex and love, it’s hard for anyone to come out a complete loser. Whether you fall in love or have a great orgasm (or several), you’re going to feel like a winner in some capacity. Didn’t find the love of your life? That’s okay. You still had good sex. Didn’t get sex, but found the love of your life? That’s okay too. Both are very rewarding.

As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, I don’t just deal with sex and love. I have to dig deeper, fleshing out the fleshly passions of love and lust in a way that will appeal to a reader’s heart and loins. It’s not easy and I can’t say I’m really good at it right now. While I did manage to get a publisher to pick up one of my manuscripts, I’m still a long way from making it a full-time career.

At the heart of the challenge in making good erotica/romance is understanding dynamics between sex and love. Anyone who has ever sat through a health class not run by the Catholic Church or Texas public schools knows the basic mechanics of sex. A penis goes into a vagina. If done properly, it brings pleasure, intimacy, love, and (if the conditions are right) babies.

Love is a bit harder define. There’s no special class in school we can take to learn about love and even if there were, I imagine most of us would fail. That’s because the dynamics of love are so varied and vast. They can never fit into a text book, let alone be taught to a bunch of hormonal students who would rather be playing Pokémon Go.

Love is emotional. Sex is more physical. One can only be described through words and non-verbal gestures. One can be recorded, studied, and marketed into a multi-billion dollar industry. These differences are not trivial. There can, and often is, conflict between the two.

However, it’s not the kind of conflict that we see manifest in one too many bad sitcoms. It’s also not the kind of conflict that even the highest grossing movies of all time can adequately depict. It’s one of those unique conflicts that plays out in both fiction and reality, albeit with less Celine Deion music.

At its core, the conflict between sex and love is a matter of perception. We all know perception and reality are rarely on the same page, but more often than not, perception does tend t0 win out. The issue here is that sometimes, one person’s perceptions are at odds with another.

If two people have shared perceptions in sex and love, then there really is no conflict. They live in the same fantasy world. They share in the same experiences, both in and out of the bedroom. Ideally, a couple is on the same page in terms of how they perceive their love and their sex with one another.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world. We live in a world where people get their hearts broken, celebrities couples break up, and where a man breaks up with a woman for not putting croutons on a salad. Unless those are some damn good croutons, that demonstrates some pretty flawed perceptions.

When it comes to sex, the situation is even less ideal. It’s not just the egregious double standards that modern society clings to for men and women. Whether you’re religious or a card-carrying hippie, your perceptions are going to clash with a biological imperative. As anyone who had failed miserably at sticking to a healthy diet can attest, biological imperatives tend to win out.

It’s very easy to confuse the pursuit of sex with the pursuit of love. There’s a good reason for that, at least with respect to the survival of our species. Unlike our brains, our genitals don’t really care how much or how little love goes into sex. Provided it gives us that toe-curling orgasm and all the baby-making side-effects that come with it, then nature could care less.

That’s not to say nature doesn’t give a shit about love. It most certainly does. In fact, it cares more than we give it credit for. Love, despite all its poetic value, does have an extremely pragmatic use. Love bonds people. It creates an intimacy that ties two (or more) people together in a profound, emotional manner.

Those intimate ties are vital not just for the rearing of children. They’re vital for our emotional and physical well-being. That’s not just the rosy assessment of an erotica/romance writer. There’s actual science to back it up.

According to WebMD, there are a multitude of documented health benefits to being in love and having a loving relationship with someone. Some, like less anxiety and better stress management, are mostly psychological. Others, like lower blood pressure and longer life expectancy, are real and tangible.

Like the health benefits or orgasms, nature has given us many incentives to pursue love. It’s good for the body. It’s good for the soul. It’s good for the survival of the human species. Evolution doesn’t get more potent (or sexier) than that.

So why is there conflict? Well, as numerous and varied as these incentives are, nature is still an exceedingly blunt instrument. How else can you explain some of the bizarre and disturbing animals that have evolved on this planet?

It’s because nature is so blunt that we flawed, poorly-wired humans struggle to tell the difference between love and sex. It leads to the kinds of situations where we think we’re in love, but we’re just really enjoying the sex. It also leads situations where we’re having great sex, but not feeling loved.

It’s a hell of a struggle, but in a world where 10 percent of the population doesn’t have access to clean water, it’s not the worst struggle you can have. It can still feel like you’re having your heart ripped out by a hungry shark. It can feel like your own genitals are conspiring against you. Those feelings are at the core of many erotica/romance novels, including some of mine.

As hard as they can be, most will probably agree the struggle is worth it. When both the journey and the destination involve feelings of great passion and the pleasure that comes with sex, then it’s definitely a struggle most would gladly endure.

So how do we manage this conflict? How do we deal with this constant clash between sex and love that plagues, even when we’re fully clothed?

Well, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time both reading and writing erotica/romance, it’s that there’s no one way to manage sex and love. What works for some people doesn’t work for others. Some people can even have some pretty odd tastes in both love and sex. Not everybody’s passions and proclivities manifest in the same way.

There really aren’t many constants or guidelines to go by. If there is one that stands out though, it’s that with this conflict, it’s possible to exploit the flaws in our caveman brains. It’s not that hard and while it won’t make for too many romance/erotica novels, it is fittingly pragmatic in the context of caveman logic.

We have sex because we love someone. We love someone so we have sex with them. Thanks to the bluntness of nature, it’s a two-way street by default. You can use sex to inspire love, just as you can use love to inspire sex. It doesn’t have to be a sub-par Ashton Kucher movie. I can be a real strategy to manage your love life and your sex life.

Even if that strategy doesn’t work, you still get some orgasms out of it so in the end, you both win on some levels. It may not make for an epic love story, but it’ll make the conflict more enjoyable in the long run.

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November 23, 2016 · 6:47 am

Finding Love Through A Twisted Sense Of “Normal”

I’ve always been bothered by the concept of “normal” and not just because the concept of normalcy makes it difficult to tell a sufficiently sexy romance/erotica story. It’s just a fact of life. Nobody’s boxers are getting tight and nobody’s panties are getting wet by reading about something bland and ordinary.

The characters I write in my books rarely fall under the guise of “normal” and if they do, it doesn’t last or their concept of normal is overtly skewed. Grace Goodwin, the main character in my book, “The Final Communion,” may have been normal by the twisted standards of her surroundings, but from an outside perspective, she might as well be a monkey in a banana factory.

This concept of “normal” has been on my mind a lot lately and not just because I worry about the not-so-normal sentiment I may get by being over 30 and single. Since my pending novel, “Passion Relapse,” finally got picked up by a publisher, I’ve been contemplating ways to follow up the themes that made that book work.

No, I’m not talking about a shameless, Rocky Balboa-style sequel. I’m not looking to build a goddamn Twilight franchise out of one novel. I’m just assessing the elements that worked in “Passion Relapse” so I can refine those elements for bigger, better, and sexier stories. The more pants I can tighten and panties I can moisten, the better.

After revising, editing, and even rewriting certain parts of “Passion Relapse,” I think I’ve gotten a better feel for what makes the characters involved so appealing. Naturally, they are admittedly not normal. In fact, they’re so not normal that their non-normal behavior causes them serious pain and distress. It gets very heated and not just in a sexy sort of way.

This got me thinking and for an aspiring erotica/romance writer, that can lead to any number of crazy/sex/awesome ideas. In this case, I find myself imaging a situation where someone has such a skewed sense of “normal” that most people who survived high school with their sanity intact can’t wrap their heads around it.

I’m not talking about extreme religious cults, like I did with “The Final Communion” or exotic futuristic technology like I did with “Skin Deep.” In fact, there is a very real-world parallel to this idea here. Sadly, it involves the inherently unsexy topic of abusive relationships.

I’ll give everyone a moment to unclench their assholes. I promise, this conversation isn’t going to get that disturbing. There are plenty of real-world examples where abusive romances have become exceedingly disturbing, up to the point where they become annoyingly permanent fixtures in popular culture. Then again, they can also become classic Disney movies so there is room to tell a story.

In this case, the story I’m interesting in telling has to do with someone who sees an abusive relationship as normal. No, I don’t mean the kind of abuse that makes for fun BDSM roles, which can actually be healthy. I’m talking about the really bad kind of abusive relationships that makes nobody horny in any capacity.

It is a real issue. There are women (and even a few men) who end up in abusive relationships, but become so accustomed to them that they seem normal. It’s that twisted sense of normalcy that skews our perspective that creates situations where people stay in these relationships or struggle to leave them.

A couple years ago, Time did an article about women who stayed in abusive relationships. The reasons were varied, ranging from concern about children to this twisted sense of responsibility that they had to be the ones to help. There are all sorts of sad, tragic, and distressing stories here. How can anyone make a story like that sexy?

It’s a good thing I love a challenge. I especially love a challenge that gives me a chance to create a novel, unique form of romance that’ll stand out in a sea of vampires, princesses, and male strippers. This won’t be a story that involves aliens, unreal technology, or supernatural forces either. This will be as raw, real, and sexy as I can make it.

Are your assholes unclenched? Good because this is a story that, like “Passion Relapse,” will emphasize romance more than the sexy stuff. Make no mistake, the sexy stuff will be there. You will need dry panties at one point. However, I want to focus on the emotional undertones for this story.

How will I do this? Once again, it requires a thought experiment. I know I ask my readers to do a lot of those on this blog, but I promise it’s for a good reason. It may not always make you horny, but it will get you thinking for the right reasons.

Picture somebody, male or female, who comes from a family in which being somewhat abusive and controlling is considered normal. Their parents have an abusive relationship. Their siblings have abusive relationships. This is just how their family is. This is how they’ve been. Since we do tend to adopt our parents’ beliefs and attitudes, it’s not wholly unrealistic.

Now, picture that same person, be they male or female, encountering something (or someone) that shakes their world. It completely undermines their understanding of what it means to be in a relationship, to love someone, or even what constitutes abuse. It’s so profound and so jarring that it overwhelms someone into completely reassessing everything they thought they knew about themselves.

I’d love to reveal more, but this is a developing idea. This is a concept I’m still fleshing out. However, there is one theme I want to emphasize here. Someone who sees something so harmful as normal sometimes needs a really jarring event to shake them out of this mindset. Some won’t even question their idea of normal until it’s shoved in their face.

This can be (and often is) traumatic. This is why admitting your wrong is right up there with dental surgery and rectal trauma in terms of unpleasantness. Our brains aren’t wired to constantly change and rethink things. It’s wired to remain consistent so we can focus on surviving bear attacks long enough to reproduce.

So how does someone escape that twisted idea of normalcy? How do they avoid the same tragedies they’ve seen in family and loved ones? For this story, there will definitely be obstacles and some of those obstacles can make fists. It’s a real challenge, but one that can bring out the best and worst in some people.

Working on “Passion Relapse” has given me a renewed sense of energy in confronting that challenge. I feel like this is a story worth telling. It’s a story that may be more relevant now than ever with issues like spousal abuse and harassment being such hot-button issues. If I can confront that issue and make it into a sexy story, then I feel like I’ve done my job.

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November 22, 2016 · 6:40 am

Breaking Down The “Creepiness” Factor

Have you ever had a man or woman in your life that makes you so uncomfortable that you wish you’d go out of your way to be in a different time zone? What was it about them that made you so uncomfortable that you were poised to become an Olympic sprinter if they got within 10 feet of you? Would you describe them as “creepy?”

Chances are, calling them “creepy” would probably be the most polite way to describe such people. Everybody’s concept of “creepy” may be different to some degree, but like bad porno, we all know it when we see it. In biological terms, it’s our “fight or flight” instinct going into overdrive for reasons that have nothing to do with facing a hungry grizzly bear.

Even if we all have an idea of what constitutes “creepy,” it’s one of those ideas we don’t scrutinize that much. Again, it’s one of those “I know it when I see it” type feelings and unlike bad porno, it can affect our lives in pretty profound ways. It’s led to a plague of creepy clown sightings. I’d say it’s more serious now than it has ever been in recent years.

What does it mean to be “creepy” though? This is one of those concepts for which a dictionary just doesn’t do the trick. It’s so subjective and personal that one person’s phobia is another person’s fetish. Those who are into clown porn probably understand this more than most.

It’s also a serious question for a guy like me. Recently, I talked about some of the strange looks I get when people find out I’m in my 30s and still single. While I don’t dress like a clown and collect hairs of young women, that does evoke a certain “creepiness” factor for some people. They see a single guy in his 30s and a part of them thinks that’s just wrong somehow, even if there’s nothing on the surface that comes close to clown makeup.

At its core, our revulsion to those we deep creepy is an extension of our gag reflex. When it comes to protecting our frail, fleshy forms, nature can’t be gentle. It has to make the process of vomiting or wanting to vomit so debilitating and uncomfortable that it drives us away from distressing situations. Without that sort of gag reflex, what would stop us from swimming in a pool of elephant poop too cool off on a hot summer day?

As is often the case with nature, our gag reflex tends to be overly broad and for some people, it severely overcompensates. That means the things that make us gag don’t always involve seeing a dead horse floating around in a pool. They can involve how and why we avoid certain people.

Sometimes those people do have a reason for being avoided. I’ve walked by homeless people who clearly have issues that go beyond just being homeless. Some of them do a lot more than just ask for money. Some will go out of their way to tell you that there’s a fairy on their shoulder who refuses to scratch their butthole. That’s usually going to trigger a gag reflex for most reasonable people.

However, those situations are the obvious ones. The situations that effect most people, including some people like me, are a bit more subtle. We all have traits and quirks that set us apart. We can’t always control when someone sees those things and calls them “creepy.”

For some people, my love of comic books and infatuation with sexy superhero women counts as creepy. For others, it’s a reason to hold a major convention in New York City. One person’s creepy obsession can be another person’s passion.

Then, there’s the added bit of overcompensation that we as a society heap on all things creepy. What does that entail? Well, most kids who attend a public school these days get a crash course in something called “stranger danger.”

When I was in school, it was a big fucking deal. We would have assemblies in the middle of the day to hear counselors and police officers tell us about the danger of talking to strangers. Never mind the fact that the amount of dangerous strangers is a tiny sub-set of most strangers. Never mind that a good chunk of crime and abuse comes from intimate partners and not strangers. We need to keep kids from getting kidnapped, damn it!

I get it. This is a big fear for parents and communities. It’s not an unreasonable fear, wanting to protect kids from creeps, but urging the to stay away from strangers can have side-effects. It can make kids mistrustful, paranoid, and even xenophobic. Later in life, these kids will become the adults that wants to kick minorities and foreigners out of their country.

We’ve already seen recently how this can have some pretty serious impacts on society. I won’t go into details, but I think recent trends in wall-building enthusiasts speak for themselves.

Now I’m not going to say that we should ignore the things that spike our “creep” factor. Again, that feeling is there for a damn good reason. Until we become superhuman cyborgs, which may happen one day, we need that reflex to remain. However, we also need to avoid pushing people to the fringes of society who don’t deserve it.

This might just be the hugger in me, but we do ourselves no favors by focusing on the “creepiness” in everybody. We all have our quirks. So long as those quirks don’t involve mutilation, exploitation, or clowns, we should give people a chance. If they mess up that chance, then that’s their problem and not yours at that point.

We want to be safe. We want to protect our kids. However, it is possible to overdo it. We can be doing more harm than good to those around us. Let’s not assume the extremes of creepiness outright. Until they put on clown makeup, let’s give people the chance they deserve.

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November 20, 2016 · 9:01 am

Sexy Sunday Thoughts

It’s another beautiful Sunday. It’s not just any Sunday either. It’s the Sunday before Thanksgiving. That means two things. One, I’m getting hungry as hell. Two, I need to get my Christmas shopping done so I can be slightly less annoyed by all the Christmas ads.

It’s a beautiful time of year. It’s not a time of year that most people associate with anything sexy. I’m sure there’s a specific subset of people that find turkey, stuffing, and family gatherings sexy. I don’t judge what gets your dick hard or your panties wet. I just know that everyone has their quirks. How else do you explain the success of dinosaur porn?

As an aspiring romance/erotica writer, it’s my job to appreciate and nurture these quirks in any way I can. I’m not saying I’ll be writing a novel about a Thanksgiving three-way anytime soon, although I don’t doubt that such a story may have some appeal. I’m just saying that there are a few things around the holidays worth appreciating and yes, those things can be sexy.

With that in mind, I’d like to share with you a few sexy Sunday thoughts, courtesy of Jack Fisher. I apologize in advance if some of these sound like musings from someone who skipped a couple meals. When you work up an appetite, your loins and your stomach tend to conspire against you.

The appeal of fireworks and orgasms is eerily similar, but the more you think about it, the less eerie it gets.

Go on. Look at this picture and give it just a little extra thought. Your panties will tell you I’m right

In some respects, a woman playing a video game with a male character makes her a dominatrix by default.

I know women play video games. I know video games have  broad appeal. However, if you’re going to take the definition of a dominatrix literally, you can’t escape the implications.

The noises we make when we’re hungry are eerily similar to the noises we make when we’re horny.

Food and sex are part of survival and reproduction, the two most basic drives of life. Is it really any surprise that sometimes our brain mixes them up?

Some of our kinkier sexual practices are inspired from animals, but animals don’t seem inspired by us in the same way.

That’s kind of telling when you think about it. We humans need to observe the strange mating practices of animals for ideas, but they don’t seem to have that problem.

Kid toys can be used as adult toys with a little extra effort and imagination.

This may be a disturbing thought for some, but it’s kind of hard to avoid the imagery. If you’re horny enough, you don’t need much imagination to see potential in a toy.

Sweat created from heat and sweat created from sex are chemically the same, but smell so different.

Sweat lets us know we’re working hart. Sweat lets us know we’ve accomplished something. When we sweat because we’re hot, we’re not accomplishing anything. When we sweat because we’re having heated, passionate sex, then we might as well be sweating scented oils.

From a purely pragmatic standpoint, the tongue is the most useful sexual organ that both genders have.

I don’t think this needs much explanation. A tongue is always wet. It doesn’t need to get hard. Both men and women can use it and know how it works. It’s both practical and sexy.

When you celebrate your birthday, you’re also celebrating the fact that your parents had sex.

We can’t get around it. We’re here. That means our parents had sex and probably more than once. We don’t like to think about it, but if they enjoyed it, then that means they enjoyed making us so I think that’s something worth celebrating.

Got any other sexy thoughts you’d like to share? I can’t be the only one who has them on the holidays. Please share them during this special time of year! Make the holidays sexy again!

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November 18, 2016 · 6:05 am

Possible Project Changes After “Passion Relapse”

Just wanted to do another quick follow up on the big news that one of my novels, “Passion Relapse,” has been accepted by a publisher. At the moment, I’m just waiting for a contract and a release schedule. Naturally, I’m as giddy as a school girl in a kitten farm. This news has already made my holiday in a big way. It may also very well affect my resolutions for 2017.

I promise I’ll get back to discussing random sexy topics, but I wanted to touch on some of the far-reaching impacts of this development in my aspiring romance/erotica career. Make no mistake. This development with “Passion Relapse” will impact my plans. It’s just a matter of degree.

Prior to this development, I had been entertaining various ideas for novels. Some were focused heavily on romance. Some were focused heavily on erotica. Some even incorporated elements of BDSM. I had no shortage of ideas and plenty of desire to develop them all. However, the success of “Passion Relapse” may require that I be more selective.

A book like “Passion Relapse” focuses heavily not just on romance, but heavy melodrama. This is not the kind of drama you’ll get in badly-acted softcore porn. The melodrama here is intended to be intense, heartfelt, and emotional. Me being a natural hugger, this kind of melodrama has a unique appeal to me. I also feel like it makes me uniquely qualified to write these kinds of stories.

As such, I intend to focus on these themes in 2017. Now don’t worry. I’ll still include plenty of sexy bits. There are more than a few in “Passion Relapse,” but if you’re looking for something of the more Hustler variety, you’ll have to be content with some of my previous works like “The Final Communion” or “The Secrets of Sadfur Island.”

That’s not to say I won’t tell stories like that. Before I got the news about “Passion Relapse,” I had been working on a novel that has romantic elements, but focuses far more on erotica elements. It doesn’t boast the same melodrama as “Passion Relapse,” but there is some drama. There are some elements for fans of love, romance, and boy bands to appreciate. A lot of those elements are just done without clothes.

Now I intend to finish this story. It’s already so far along that it doesn’t make sense to end it now. However, it may be one of those stories that I opt to self-publish so I can focus on building my brand around more romance-heavy novels. I already have a few ideas in mind that I hope will make your heart race and your panties moisten.

If that’s to be my slogan, so be it. If the brand of Jack Fisher novels is built around racing hearts and moist panties, then I’m okay with that. My method for building that brand will depend largely on how this new publisher I’m working with handles “Passion Relapse.” Between this novel and “Embers of Eros,” I think I have a foundation for a passionate, sexy brand and I hope to develop that brand in 2017 and beyond.

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November 17, 2016 · 6:13 am

Big News: “Passion Relapse” Accepted By Publisher!

I was going to look for another fun, sexy topic to discuss on this blog, but something big has come up. It’s so big that it may very well be a defining moment in my aspirations to become an erotica/romance writer. I hope I can look back on this day and say to myself, “It all began on that fateful day! Now why am I still wearing pants again?”

A while back, I got a promising email from a publisher that I had sent a manuscript to. This alone is a big deal. I have no fewer than four finished manuscripts gathering dust on my hard drive. I’ve sent out query letters to dozens upon dozens of publishers and agents. For the most part, I get a quick and brief rejection letter. So getting an email that was promising in any capacity is a big freakin’ deal for me.

With this particular publisher, it was not an outright rejection letter, nor was it a fat royalty check the likes of which would make Stephen King blush. Instead, this publisher informed me that the manuscript I pitched, “Passion Relapse,” had some potential. They were interested in developing that potential, but only if I was willing to make some edits.

I was definitely willing. I put aside nearly all of my other side-projects, stayed up late, and drank a few extra glasses of whiskey to do those edits. These were not simple grammar tweaks either. I actually had to rewrite the entire ending of the book.

Now I can understand how some writers may take that personally. Some writers see that as a knock on their talent. Seeing as how I’ve accomplished little outside self-publishing my novels and talking about sex-positive superheroes on my blog, I literally can’t afford that kind of ego. As such, I assume every manuscript I write is flawed and needs edits. This publisher gave me a chance and I seized the opportunity.

Those late nights and extra glasses of whiskey paid off. After sending the edited manuscript back to the publisher, I had to wait a while for them to review it. As always, that wait was pretty damn agonizing, but so worth it. This is the response I got:

Congratulations! We are going to offer you a contract for Passion Relapse. You did a superb job on your rewrite and we love your author voice. Bravo! I have to tell you that we don’t accept a lot of new authors without a proven track record, so you should be very pleased.

Naturally, I’m very pleased. I had to fight the urge to do a backflip when I got that email and not just because it probably would’ve ended with me falling flat on my face. Finally, someone is taking a chance on me. Finally, someone is giving me the opportunity to share my work with a larger audience.

It’s an opportunity I hope to seize. This novel, “Passion Relapse,” should make hearts race, pants tighten, and panties moisten. I will continue to work with this publisher, whose name I’ll keep private until everything is finalized, but I’ll definitely post updates here on this blog.

This is an exciting time in the world of Jack Fisher. I look forward to sharing that excitement with many others.

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November 13, 2016 · 9:47 am

The Standard Model Of Romance (And Why It Needs Updating)

A big part of being a romance/erotica writer often involves reading about romance/erotica in general. I know that sounds like common sense, right up there with mechanics driving cars to learn more about cars, but it’s not as common as you might think.

Now I confess that when I began writing years ago, I didn’t do much reading. I didn’t enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Trust me, it showed in some of my early work. Some of those pieces (which I hope never see the light of day) made it painfully obvious that didn’t read as much as I should on the subject.

As I’ve gotten older and refined my skill, I’ve done more and more reading. I don’t just read about erotica/romance. I try to read a bit of everything to get a feel for what it means to tell a story. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a 500-page novel or a 22-page comic like X-men. They still have lessons to tell.

At the moment, I’m reading a book called “Sex At Dawn” by Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha, Allyson Johnson, and Jonathan Davis. Now this isn’t a standard romance/erotica story like “Skin Deep” or “Jackpot.” This is a non-fiction book that explores the hidden side of human sexuality, scrutinizing our assumptions about romance, sex, and the social norms guiding these forces.

It’s interesting to me because it gives me some insight into the lesser known aspects of romance/erotica. There are so many stories that try to fit the romance and erotic components into the same framework we, as a society, have always embraced without question. I’ve found it’s more interesting to step outside that framework every now and then.

Now I’ve just started this book so I can’t give my whole assessment just yet. However, the first two chapters do highlight an important component that’s worth bringing up. The authors call it “The Standard Model” of romance. That model goes a little something like this:

  1. Boy meets girl
  2. Boy assesses girl for health, beauty, fidelity, and an ability to sire healthy offspring
  3. Girl assesses boy for wealth, strength, ability to provide, ability to protect offspring, and a capacity to remain faithful and not stray
  4. Boy and girl pass assessment, enter into a series of formal and informal agreements to love, cohabit, and provide for one another
  5. Boy and girl enjoy early passion, begin a family, and grow together
  6. Boy and girl start to lose interest as passion fades, becoming less sexually satisfied even if love remains strong
  7. Boy begins looking elsewhere for other young, fertile women
  8. Girl begins looking elsewhere for young, virile men
  9. Constant struggle endures, straining relationship

I agree that this model is grossly oversimplified and somewhat formulaic. I don’t doubt that there are plenty of romances, real and fictional, that don’t follow this model closely. However, it’s a model that accurately reflects the ideals and principles that modern society has ascribed to romance and sex.

This book, however, dares to question whether these ideals and principles are actually viable. It also dares to question whether these ideals and principles are even natural to the human condition.

This definitely resonates with me because it fits into my frequent discussions regarding caveman logic, a phrase I love throwing around on this blog to explain the peculiarities of the human condition, both in and out of the bedroom. It also resonates with me because it helps nurture some of my ideas for future novels.

In addition to the inspiration, I also think that our assumptions surrounding this model need greater scrutiny, if only to better-prepare ourselves for meaningful romance. At the moment, the model doesn’t exactly have a stellar record.

In most of the industrialized world, divorce rates are over 50 percent. If a model isn’t working more than half the time, then that’s a clear sign that it needs tweaking. If a car broke down more than half the time, why would anyone drive it? Humans are great at building tools, but when it comes to updating the ways in which we love and make love, our ability to adapt is nothing short of glacial.

The Standard Model is outdated. That’s the primary message that “Sex At Dawn” sends during the first few chapters. It wasn’t adapted for modern, secular society. It emerged 10,000 years ago as a direct result of mankind’s transition from hunter/gatherer societies to sedentary/farming societies.

For the fast majority of human history, people lived on farms and toiled in the fields. That kind of work is less and less necessary these days, due in large part to industrialization and better technology. The Standard Model worked perfectly for that system because it meant keeping women focused on child-rearing while men did most of the work to provide food/safety. That system just doesn’t work as well in our current system of cities, cars, and Big Macs.

So if that system doesn’t work as well anymore, what do we do? Which system does work in a modern society where few people toil on farms and fields? That’s not a rhetorical question. That’s a real, honest question that is worth asking. It hasn’t been answered yet and I feel not enough people are daring to ask it.

I get that there are still those in society who wish to cling to the older ways, seeing the Standard Model as something traditional, moral, and ethical. That’s all well and good, but that’s basically the same as an opinion. It’s as valid as random tweet these days. We’re too diverse and erratic as a species. One model is simply never going to be enough to accommodate the needs and passions of every individual.

Every species, be it human or insect, needs to adapt their systems to a changing environment. The environment for humans is changing so rapidly that some refuse to even acknowledge that change, as if they’re worried about what it implies. There aren’t many constants to human systems, but the desire to love and make love is one of them.

For the sake of our future and that of our descendants, we need to adapt a system that will meet those desires. If we don’t, we’re all in for a cold, lonely, unfulfilled tomorrow. I’m not nearly equipped to create such a system, but I can offer some interesting/sexy ideas with my novels.

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November 12, 2016 · 8:42 am

Random Crazy/Sexy Idea: Weed Romance

Every now and then, I’ll wake up on a weekend morning feeling restless, anxious, and unable to turn my twisted brain off. It’s part of what led me to start writing novels. I come up with all sorts of crazy ideas at crazy times of the day or week. Some of them make for fun, sexy stories. Sometimes you just gotta play the cards you’re dealt.

This morning was no different. I had planned to sleep in. That plan went to shit, as it often does, when I started thinking about a new idea for a novel. Yes, I know I’m still working hard to get books like “Passion Relapse” and “Embers of Eros” published, but you never stop coming up with new ideas. If you do, then you’re probably brain dead and aren’t reading this blog anyways.

So I’m lying in bed thinking about recent events. Beyond the annoying politics I try desperately to avoid, something amazing did happen this past week. Four states, namely California, Nevada, Main, and Massachusetts, voted to legalize marijuana. They join Colorado, Alaska, Oregon, and Washington among the growing list of states ending a 70-year prohibition on a drug that is widely seen as less harmful than alcohol.

As a result of this landmark shift, nearly a quarter of the population of the United States now live in areas where marijuana is legal or will be legal. It’s a strange, but dramatic shift in a society that’s used to seeing weed only in high school bathrooms, rap videos, and Seth Rogen movies. It promises significant change in our culture, which has always been one that’s fond of getting high.

Now I have nothing against weed. I’ve never tried it. I drink whiskey and beer to get my buzz, but I have no problem with anyone who chooses weed as their intoxicant of choice. I don’t favor making these sorts of things illegal, just as I don’t favor making exposed breasts illegal. More boobs and more weed and more beer can only help make the world a better place.

With that in mind, an idea came to me. I’m not saying it’s an idea that’ll lead to the next big vampire craze or something like that. It’s just a crazy idea from a guy who has more than his share of them. So here it is:

Why not combine marijuana with romance to create a new genre: Weed Romance?

Say it out loud: Weed Romance. It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a romantic story that is inspired/fueled/realized through marijuana. Has such a story been told? Can such a story be told? Can it be made sexy to sweeten the appeal?

These are all questions that haven’t been asked much, let alone answered. I feel like these questions will be worth answering more and more as marijuana legalization moves forward. There’s already a trend in place. There’s a cultural shift underway. So why shouldn’t our romance/erotica stories change with it?

Think about it. How many romance stories, erotica novels, or low-budget pornos begin in a bar with two people getting drinks? It’s the kind of scenario that has been playing out in some form or another since the days of Humphrey Bogart. We all know it. We’ve all seen in in a myriad of ways. So why not try something different?

Picture this new scenario. Two people walk into a marijuana club. They get themselves a couple of buds and order some burritos on the side. They start smoking. They get a little high. They get a little hungry. Then, their eyes meet. First, they comment on how eyelashes sometimes look like spiderwebs. Then, they start sharing a burrito. From there, it starts to blossom.

Sure, it sounds weird now. It probably wouldn’t even make it into a Seth Rogen movie, but it does have some science backing it. Like alcohol, marijuana has been documented to have positive effects on sexual experiences. Also like alcohol, there are some negative effects, but there are negative effects to everything if you overdo it. So why let that kill the mood?

It may be too soon for Weed Romance to be a thing. However, I’d like to give it some serious thought for future novels. I have other ideas brewing, but this one really intrigues me. If our culture really is changing, then why not embrace it in our erotica/romance?

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November 6, 2016 · 9:08 am

“Passion Relapse” Edits Complete And Sent!

Well it took several late nights, a few extra glasses of whiskey, and more than one setback along the way, but I did it! I completed the edits to my “Passion Relapse” manuscript and sent it to the publisher. Now, it’s back to my least favorite part of the process, which is waiting for a response/rejection.

To date, I’ve endured mostly rejections and/or frustrating delays for other books, namely “Embers of Eros.” I’m really hoping that this response from “Passion Relapse” is a sign. The publisher I’m working with has been a lot more responsive than others. They’ve actually taken the time to discuss revisions with me rather than just rejecting it outright. To me, that shows they’re serious to some degree.

It still remains to be seen just how serious they are. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much. Like I said, most of my efforts to get a publisher on my side has ended in rejection. While I am frustrated, I am not discouraged. I have plenty more ideas for sexy, romantic stories and I intend to pursue those ideas.

However, I understand that I still cannot get my ideas out there without the aid of a publisher. As much as I enjoy talking about crazy sexy issues on this blog, I would like to make a career out of writing erotica/romance novels. I’m not Stephen King (yet) so I’m a long way from that goal at the moment. I really do hope that changes soon.

With “Passion Relapse,” I think it’s a solid demonstration of what I can do. It’s a story that emphasizes both romance and erotica fairly equally. It has characters that are complex, three-dimension, and genuine. There’s no magic, superpowers, or aliens in this story. It focuses on two ordinary people with an unusual problem that brings them together.

This story has something for romance fans to enjoy. This story has something for erotica fans to enjoy. It has moments men will enjoy. It has moments women will enjoy. It’s a story that has something for everyone. That’s why I sincerely hope something comes of this. If “Passion Relapse” is to be my first published piece, then I think it’ll be a great way to introduce my sexy brand to the world.

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October 30, 2016 · 8:12 am

Update On “Passion Relapse” Revision: Finding The Right Mix Of Romance/Erotica

Thought I’d give another quick update on the status of “Passion Relapse.” Yesterday, I announced the exciting news that a publisher is very interested in developing this story for a novel. However, before they commit to it, they want to see a few revisions to the manuscript. I told them I’d get on that like grease on bacon.

Okay, so maybe I didn’t use those exact words, but you get the picture. I really am this determined to make “Passion Relapse” a success. I believe it has everything necessary to please/arouse fans of both romance and erotica.

The challenge, at least as the publisher laid it out to me, has to do with the mix of erotica/romance within this story. They told me I did a good job of setting it up. I did a good job of making it hot and sexy, which in this genre is like the most important ingredient to say the least. At this point, it only needs, according to them, some extra romance to act as icing on this decadent treat.

Much of the story in “Passion Relapse” is structured around two people coming together when they’re at their most vulnerable. I put a lot of time and energy, among other feelings, into fleshing that out. However, the romantic elements are mostly the culmination at the end. As such, I didn’t really dedicate a lot of text into fleshing that out.

In reading over the last few chapters, I agree with this sentiment. I think there is room to expand those romantic elements to that the combination of romance/erotica is more potent.

This is actually an issue I’ve been working on for a while now. I can craft stories that are heavy on erotic elements, like “The Final Communion” or “The Secrets of Sadfur Island.” Fleshing out the romance has often fallen to the wayside. It’s one thing to just get characters to hump in a believable way. It’s quite another to give it romantic weight.

To do it for “Passion Relapse,” I had to think long and hard. I admit I kind of frustrated myself coming up with ideas. I stayed up past midnight. I had an extra glass of whiskey. I refused to go to sleep until I had a viable idea.

Finally, before I could have one too many glasses of whiskey, I came up with an idea. It’s an idea that requires a rewrite of the final chapter in the story, but I think it’s an idea that will make “Passion Relapse” a more potent story for romance and erotica lovers alike.

I’ve already started working on it. I’ll probably be up until midnight again, sipping whiskey and contemplating ways to amplify the romance. It’ll be worth it though. I think it’ll show in the final product. I hope the publisher agrees.

With that in mind, blog posts may be a bit more limited in the coming days. I’ll provide more updates, but it’s for a good reason. I want to create a sexy, romantic story for the masses and such an effort requires my utmost attention. Thanks for understanding folks.

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