Tag Archives: Jack Fisher

Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Heroic Health Care Workers Edition

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The world a swirling shit storm. There’s just no other way to say it. We’re in the midst a global pandemic. Society as we knew it has shut down. The economy has fallen apart. Life has become a painfully mundane waiting game. There’s a storm raging, but most of us can’t do anything to make it go away faster.

As bad as it is, there are heroes in this world. As I write this, and as you read this, they are working tirelessly to confront this pandemic and care for its victims. They’re the doctors, nurses, scientists, and various health care workers who are on the front lines, literally and figuratively. The superheroes in comics and movies may do amazing things, but what these people are doing in the real world is beyond extraordinary.

There’s not much I can say that hasn’t already been said. These people are more than heroes. Many of them are going into a situation they know puts them at risk. They’re dealing with people who are sick, dying, and vulnerable. Most of us can barely handle being stuck at home, let alone confronting life and death situations every day.

There’s a lot we can do to show our appreciation to the health care workers navigating this crisis. There are places to donate. That always helps. If you happen to know someone in that field, see if there’s something extra you can do. That helps too. For now, the best I can offer is a special brand of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. It’s not much, but it’s how I like to show my appreciation.


“For a dirty mind the line between disgust and intrigue is often blurred.”


“Trust is the invisible lubricant that makes sexy kinks possible.”


“Morning wood was the first true pop-up ad.”


“True love is only as true as a couples’ worst kept secret.”


“Feelings evoked by foreplay are the exact opposite of those evoked by traffic jams.”


“Love doesn’t make you foolish, but it forces you to compromise with many foolish impulses.”


“You’re only as kinky as your gag reflex allows.”


To all the health care workers out there, from the surgeons to the nurses to the receptionist, you are a special kind of sexy. Thank you for everything that you do. Thank you for being there on the front lines to save lives, as only you can. That kind of sexiness knows no equal.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: NFL Draft 2020 Edition

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For football fans, the NFL Draft is the annual celebration of hope for the teams that earned a high draft pick. By that, I mean they were terrible the previous year and are badly in need of some fresh talent. The NFL Draft gives them that opportunity. Sometimes, one pick can be the difference between another losing season and a slew of championship. Just ask the New England Patriots.

This year, however, the NFL Draft is set to have a different impact. Usually, the draft is mostly just a glorified news feed, detailing the picks for various teams. Only major football fans tune in or pay attention. That’s often because this is usually the time baseball, basketball, and hockey are playing relevant games.

These are not usual times, unfortunately. Thanks to a global pandemic, we are in the midst of the greatest dearth of sports in decades.

Despite this crisis, the NFL has made clear they are going forward with the draft. Granted, it won’t be the same massive party that they had last year in Nashville. It’s going to happen primarily in a TV studio with many players streaming their reaction from various locations. It’s not going to have much fanfare, but it’s the first major sporting event we’ve had in over a month.

As a lifelong football fan, I’ve always been fond of the draft. This year, I’m just happy to see anything sports related that isn’t a replay of some old game. The NFL Draft is a celebrated event because it brings hope to millions of fans. Hope is something we need a lot more of right now. These Sexy Sunday Thoughts are my way of supplementing it. Enjoy!


“Porn stars are business savvy in that they’ve monetized their genitals.”


“The difference between being adventures and kinky in the bedroom is in which body parts you’re willing to strain.”


“Sleeping with an asshole is an indirect form of masochism.”


“Building love on a foundation of lies is like having sex on a bed of broken glass.”


“Women should be inherently skeptical of a man who can’t hide his porn stash very well.”


“Someone who works hard and plays hard knows how to make love just hard enough.”


“Loneliness is your genitals reminding you that you’re not getting laid.”


I miss sports. I cannot overstate that enough. As much as I love the NFL Draft, I wish there was more to follow at the moment. Since that’s not likely to change anytime soon, I’ll be sure to watch this years draft with a bit more scrutiny than I have before. It’s not much, but during a crisis, I’ll gladly take it.

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It’s Official: Pandemics Ruin Fridays

These past couple months have taught us a lot about ourselves. Granted, these are things we never wanted to learn, but it’s hard to avoid at this point. We’re in the middle of a global pandemic. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, what party you belong to, or what your background is. A virulent disease doesn’t give a damn. It infects everyone it can.

This disease has already ruined a lot so far. From sports to movie releases to comic book releases, this pandemic has disrupted everything, large and small. There were some major family events that occurred recently and I couldn’t be part of it because of this damn disease. It breaks my heart and pisses me off, but there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Well, after nearly two months of isolation, I think I’m ready to declare that this pandemic has ruined something else. For me, at least, this disease has completely ruined Fridays.

I doubt I’m alone in this sentiment. I know plenty of people who will reach out to me on a Friday morning and say “Happy Friday!” in a semi-joking manner. I always appreciate the sentiment. It’s a nice reminder that the weekend is almost here and there’s plenty of fun to be had.

Now, what’s the point of looking forward to the weekend?

Why even get excited on Fridays anymore?

Those aren’t rhetorical questions. I’m not being sarcastic either. Seriously, what makes Fridays special anymore? School has already been canceled for many students. Social gatherings are effectively banned. There are no sports to watch. Movie theaters, bars, and restaurants are all closed. You can’t even throw a party in some states without breaking stay at home orders.

At this point, Fridays are nothing more than just another day that we have to endure in this pandemic-fueled shit storm. There’s nothing to look forward to. There’s no reason to get excited about anything. I usually try to avoid depressing rants, but this has been bugging me for a while. I just wanted to share that sentiment. Like I said, I doubt I’m the only one who feels that way.

With that in mind, let’s all stop saying “Happy Friday!” or “TGIF!” until this shit storm is over. At this point, it’s just a painful reminder of how bad this pandemic has gotten and we have enough of that.

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A Common (And Revealing) Theme Of My Dreams

I’m not of the opinion that dreams are some profound indicator of the deepest, darkest recesses of our unconscious. I don’t buy into the old Freudian idea that what you dream about reflects some profound desire about the workings of your psyche. That’s not to say I think dreams are just random noise inside your brain that sometimes surfaces when you sleep. I just think they’re more mundane than we give them credit for.

I say this as someone who both took college level psychology courses and as someone who can recall certain dreams. I’m hardly an expert, but I’m familiar with the various theories as to why human beings have dreams. I think some are more plausible than others. I certainly have my leanings, but I admit those leanings are influenced by my personal experiences with dreams.

To understand, I’d like to share a common theme in my dreams that I’ve noticed over the years. I tend not to remember most of my dreams, but the ones I do seem to have many similarities that have held true since I was a teenager. If they were TV shows or sitcoms, they would all have the same plot.

I’m always running very late to something important.

I admit this is a somewhat bland theme for a dream, but I understand where it comes from. Any friends, family, or relatives who might be reading this wouldn’t be surprised either. They know, as well as I do, that for most of my early life, I was very uptight about being on time. I’d even go so far as to say I was downright obsessive about it. I’m pretty sure I annoyed more than one person with my constant desire to not be late.

As early as elementary school, I made a big deal about being on time or early to everything, be it school, a movie, or some kind of event. The mere thought that I might be late caused me a great deal of stress, so much so that I experienced panic attacks on some occasions.

Knowing that, it makes perfect sense that my dreams would center around this theme. Just last week, I had a dream that involved me standing in front of my old bedroom window, watching the bus go by, and realizing that I had just overslept big time and was incredibly late.

It’s similar to the one I had last year. Again, it involved me standing in my bedroom, looking at a clock, and realizing I was extremely late for a flight to a big wedding I was set to attend. The dream rarely stopped there. Often, I would attempt to catch up, packing my clothes and getting my things together in hopes of catching up. Most of the time, it didn’t work. In some dreams, I even face a setback that makes me even later.

It’s rarely scary or traumatizing. They don’t feel like nightmares in that I wake up in a cold, terrified sweat. They feel more like echoes of old attitudes that had a profound impact on my early life and some of my adult life.

I’ve gotten a lot better and healthier with respect to punctuality. College was really the time when I took a seriously look at my obsessive need to be on time and find other ways of dealing with it. It didn’t happen all at once. It took several years for me to get less uptight about running late. While I can still be somewhat anal about it, I’m nowhere near as anxious about it.

That doesn’t keep it from showing up in my dreams. Since this tendency was such a big part of my life, especially in my youth, I’m not surprised that it’s such a common theme. I have a feeling it’ll keep being a theme throughout my life. If that’s the extent of my most vivid dreams, then I’m okay with that.

To those who remember their dreams, what are the common themes you tend to notice? Do you think these dreams have greater meaning or are they just mental garbage that your brain clumps together while you sleep? I’d like to know. Please share your dream experiences in the comments.

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Sexy Running Edition

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I didn’t used to enjoy exercise. At one point, my least favorite activity in school was running and given how miserable I was at school for most of my life, that’s saying something. Then, as I got older and more health conscious, running became an integral part of my life. I’m at a point now where it feels weird when I don’t run in some form.

Whether it’s on a treadmill or on the trails throughout my neighborhood, I love to run. It’s not just good for my health. It gets my heart racing, my brain going, and my juices flowing. Yes, I understand that has some sexual connotations. Did you honestly expect anything less from me?

It’s only natural. Running makes me all hot and sweaty. There are times when I come in from a run and I’m just dripping with sweat. I may not smell great, but I feel downright sexy. After burning all those calories, it’s like I just made love to my muscles. It’s a great feeling and with the weather finally warming up, I can run without a shirt on to show off that sexiness. Again, you expect anything less from me?

I hope that when I meet the love of my life, she’ll go running with me. One day, I hope we can go on a long run together, get back, shed our sexy clothes, and share a nice shower together. I hope I find that woman one day. Until then, here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to help inspire all those other runners out there. Enjoy!


“The joy your child gives their parents is the echo of the orgasm that made them.”


“Learning about romance through chick flicks is as unhealthy as learning about sex through porn.”


“Trying to be monogamous with a slut is like trying to interrogate a pathological liar.”


“Friends with benefits are the take-home tests of relationships.”


“Imagine how much trust and/or bravery someone must have to allow a cannibal to give them oral sex.”


“Can you honestly believe someone who says they accidentally watched porn?”


“True love is never having to explain why you have so much lube in your dresser drawer.”


The spring and summer are the best seasons for running. The days are long, the heat rolls in, and the sweat feels earned. I try to take full advantage of it and any trail nearby. I encourage everyone else to give it a try. If a guy like me can grow to love running, then anyone can. That, I’m sure of.

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Cutting My Own Hair: My Experience (And Mishaps)

These are strange, difficult, and incredibly frustrating times. The COVID-19 pandemic has undermined many big things in our world, from major sporting events to movie releases. Between that and the egregious death toll, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the big effects of this pandemic. However, sometimes it’s the little things can be just as impactful.

Just recently, I experienced one of those little impacts. For the first time in my life, I gave myself a haircut. I want to say I’m proud of it. I wish I could say it turned out just fine. Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to be that dishonest with the fine people who read this blog.

It’s true, though. I did cut my own hair this past weekend. I’d genuinely hoped I wouldn’t have to, but my timing with respect to haircuts couldn’t have been worse. I typically get my hair cut every two months. It’s nothing fancy. I just get an overall trim that insures my hair looks neat, classy, and well-kept. It’s rarely that much of a hassle.

Then, the mass shut-down came and every barber shop within a 100 mile radius was closed. At that point, I was well past due for a haircut and it showed. My hair started looking less and less kept. I learned back in college that if I don’t cut my hair regularly, I end up looking like an extra in a grunge band from 1993. If I let my beard grow, I’d look like a mountain man with dandruff.

I really resisted the inclination to cut my hair on my own. Finally, after waking up one morning and seeing my hair in the mirror, I decided it was time. I didn’t have much to go on, so I just bought a cheap pair of clippers from Walmart, put a paper towel over my sink, and went through with it.

I wish I could say it was simple. I’d hoped it would be simple. It wasn’t. In fact, it took longer to cut my own hair than it would have if I’d gone to a barber shop. That’s because cheap clippers and messy, oily hair don’t exactly complement one another. I had to keep buzzing over the same areas on my head multiple times because the clippers always seemed to miss something. It got so tedious my arms got tired.

Eventually, I cut my hair to a point where it’s at least somewhat presentable. I wish I could describe it. I’ll just say it’s somewhere between a crew cut and a buzz cut, but with some messy spots in the middle. Just getting it even was way harder than it should’ve been. It’s still not even, but at least it’s manageable.

I won’t say it looks ugly, but it’s not exactly flattering, nor is it professional. If I walked into a job interview with this haircut, I’d probably get docked a few points. It was enough to make me hope I don’t have to cut my hair again. It also gave me much more appreciation for the barbers and stylists of this world.

Seriously, we miss you. My hair misses you. I hope this quarantine ends soon so you can get back to making us all look good.

For those of you in my position who badly need a haircut, do yourself a favor. Either find someone else who can cut it or use videos like this one to make sure you still look presentable.

 

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Jack Fisher’s Sexy Sunday Thoughts: Easter 2020 Edition

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Today is Easter Sunday. However, I imagine a lot of people either didn’t know, forgot about it, or just don’t have the energy to care. I completely understand. Even as someone who has a special appreciation of Easter, I know that nobody is in a very celebratory mood right now. When there’s a global pandemic ravaging the world, you just can’t get into the spirit of any holiday.

It’s so bad right now that you can’t even get together for a nice Easter dinner. At best, you can video chat with them while you’re eating leftovers. It’s not the same, but I would argue it’s better than nothing. I would also argue that Easter is still worth celebrating. It may not be the flashiest holiday, but it has its place.

It also helps that Easter has some sexy origins. Before it became entwined with Christian traditions, it was associated with pagan fertility rituals. Like it or not, you can’t have fertility without a little sex appeal. As someone who appreciates both sex appeal and warmer spring weather, I’m all for celebrating that sort of thing.

Perhaps this is one Easter in which those lucky enough to be quarantined with their lovers can tap into that sexy past. You’re already stuck at home. You can’t have a family gathering. Why not use it as a chance to share a little sexy time? Here are some Sexy Sunday Thoughts to get you in that sexy Easter spirit. Enjoy!


“Finding pubic hair in your food is disgusting, but the story of how it got there can be fascinating.” 


“Catching your parents having sex is only as embarrassing as the kinks they’re exercising at the time.”


“Puberty is cruel to teenagers in that it makes them feel ugly and horny at the same time.”


“A stripper’s permanence is directly proportional to how it effects an audience’s genitals.”


“For a man, having a large penis is like having a great credit score.”


“Working hard will help you get laid, but working smart will help you find the love of your life.”


“Behind every romantic gesture are some incredibly lurid thoughts.”


This year has already cost us a great many things, from major sports to holidays. It’s already a lost year, due to the pandemic. Chances are this will be the most forgettable Easter we’ll have. However, if you have to chance to use the isolation as a means of sharing some sexy time, then it can still be memorable for a much better reason.

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