Every now and then, I’ll wake up on a weekend morning feeling restless, anxious, and unable to turn my twisted brain off. It’s part of what led me to start writing novels. I come up with all sorts of crazy ideas at crazy times of the day or week. Some of them make for fun, sexy stories. Sometimes you just gotta play the cards you’re dealt.
This morning was no different. I had planned to sleep in. That plan went to shit, as it often does, when I started thinking about a new idea for a novel. Yes, I know I’m still working hard to get books like “Passion Relapse” and “Embers of Eros” published, but you never stop coming up with new ideas. If you do, then you’re probably brain dead and aren’t reading this blog anyways.
So I’m lying in bed thinking about recent events. Beyond the annoying politics I try desperately to avoid, something amazing did happen this past week. Four states, namely California, Nevada, Main, and Massachusetts, voted to legalize marijuana. They join Colorado, Alaska, Oregon, and Washington among the growing list of states ending a 70-year prohibition on a drug that is widely seen as less harmful than alcohol.
As a result of this landmark shift, nearly a quarter of the population of the United States now live in areas where marijuana is legal or will be legal. It’s a strange, but dramatic shift in a society that’s used to seeing weed only in high school bathrooms, rap videos, and Seth Rogen movies. It promises significant change in our culture, which has always been one that’s fond of getting high.
Now I have nothing against weed. I’ve never tried it. I drink whiskey and beer to get my buzz, but I have no problem with anyone who chooses weed as their intoxicant of choice. I don’t favor making these sorts of things illegal, just as I don’t favor making exposed breasts illegal. More boobs and more weed and more beer can only help make the world a better place.
With that in mind, an idea came to me. I’m not saying it’s an idea that’ll lead to the next big vampire craze or something like that. It’s just a crazy idea from a guy who has more than his share of them. So here it is:
Why not combine marijuana with romance to create a new genre: Weed Romance?
Say it out loud: Weed Romance. It’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a romantic story that is inspired/fueled/realized through marijuana. Has such a story been told? Can such a story be told? Can it be made sexy to sweeten the appeal?
These are all questions that haven’t been asked much, let alone answered. I feel like these questions will be worth answering more and more as marijuana legalization moves forward. There’s already a trend in place. There’s a cultural shift underway. So why shouldn’t our romance/erotica stories change with it?
Think about it. How many romance stories, erotica novels, or low-budget pornos begin in a bar with two people getting drinks? It’s the kind of scenario that has been playing out in some form or another since the days of Humphrey Bogart. We all know it. We’ve all seen in in a myriad of ways. So why not try something different?
Picture this new scenario. Two people walk into a marijuana club. They get themselves a couple of buds and order some burritos on the side. They start smoking. They get a little high. They get a little hungry. Then, their eyes meet. First, they comment on how eyelashes sometimes look like spiderwebs. Then, they start sharing a burrito. From there, it starts to blossom.
Sure, it sounds weird now. It probably wouldn’t even make it into a Seth Rogen movie, but it does have some science backing it. Like alcohol, marijuana has been documented to have positive effects on sexual experiences. Also like alcohol, there are some negative effects, but there are negative effects to everything if you overdo it. So why let that kill the mood?
It may be too soon for Weed Romance to be a thing. However, I’d like to give it some serious thought for future novels. I have other ideas brewing, but this one really intrigues me. If our culture really is changing, then why not embrace it in our erotica/romance?
Well it took several late nights, a few extra glasses of whiskey, and more than one setback along the way, but I did it! I completed the edits to my “Passion Relapse” manuscript and sent it to the publisher. Now, it’s back to my least favorite part of the process, which is waiting for a response/rejection.
To date, I’ve endured mostly rejections and/or frustrating delays for other books, namely “Embers of Eros.” I’m really hoping that this response from “Passion Relapse” is a sign. The publisher I’m working with has been a lot more responsive than others. They’ve actually taken the time to discuss revisions with me rather than just rejecting it outright. To me, that shows they’re serious to some degree.
It still remains to be seen just how serious they are. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much. Like I said, most of my efforts to get a publisher on my side has ended in rejection. While I am frustrated, I am not discouraged. I have plenty more ideas for sexy, romantic stories and I intend to pursue those ideas.
However, I understand that I still cannot get my ideas out there without the aid of a publisher. As much as I enjoy talking about crazy sexy issues on this blog, I would like to make a career out of writing erotica/romance novels. I’m not Stephen King (yet) so I’m a long way from that goal at the moment. I really do hope that changes soon.
With “Passion Relapse,” I think it’s a solid demonstration of what I can do. It’s a story that emphasizes both romance and erotica fairly equally. It has characters that are complex, three-dimension, and genuine. There’s no magic, superpowers, or aliens in this story. It focuses on two ordinary people with an unusual problem that brings them together.
This story has something for romance fans to enjoy. This story has something for erotica fans to enjoy. It has moments men will enjoy. It has moments women will enjoy. It’s a story that has something for everyone. That’s why I sincerely hope something comes of this. If “Passion Relapse” is to be my first published piece, then I think it’ll be a great way to introduce my sexy brand to the world.
Thought I’d give another quick update on the status of “Passion Relapse.” Yesterday, I announced the exciting news that a publisher is very interested in developing this story for a novel. However, before they commit to it, they want to see a few revisions to the manuscript. I told them I’d get on that like grease on bacon.
Okay, so maybe I didn’t use those exact words, but you get the picture. I really am this determined to make “Passion Relapse” a success. I believe it has everything necessary to please/arouse fans of both romance and erotica.
The challenge, at least as the publisher laid it out to me, has to do with the mix of erotica/romance within this story. They told me I did a good job of setting it up. I did a good job of making it hot and sexy, which in this genre is like the most important ingredient to say the least. At this point, it only needs, according to them, some extra romance to act as icing on this decadent treat.
Much of the story in “Passion Relapse” is structured around two people coming together when they’re at their most vulnerable. I put a lot of time and energy, among other feelings, into fleshing that out. However, the romantic elements are mostly the culmination at the end. As such, I didn’t really dedicate a lot of text into fleshing that out.
In reading over the last few chapters, I agree with this sentiment. I think there is room to expand those romantic elements to that the combination of romance/erotica is more potent.
This is actually an issue I’ve been working on for a while now. I can craft stories that are heavy on erotic elements, like “The Final Communion” or “The Secrets of Sadfur Island.” Fleshing out the romance has often fallen to the wayside. It’s one thing to just get characters to hump in a believable way. It’s quite another to give it romantic weight.
To do it for “Passion Relapse,” I had to think long and hard. I admit I kind of frustrated myself coming up with ideas. I stayed up past midnight. I had an extra glass of whiskey. I refused to go to sleep until I had a viable idea.
Finally, before I could have one too many glasses of whiskey, I came up with an idea. It’s an idea that requires a rewrite of the final chapter in the story, but I think it’s an idea that will make “Passion Relapse” a more potent story for romance and erotica lovers alike.
I’ve already started working on it. I’ll probably be up until midnight again, sipping whiskey and contemplating ways to amplify the romance. It’ll be worth it though. I think it’ll show in the final product. I hope the publisher agrees.
With that in mind, blog posts may be a bit more limited in the coming days. I’ll provide more updates, but it’s for a good reason. I want to create a sexy, romantic story for the masses and such an effort requires my utmost attention. Thanks for understanding folks.
It’s been a while since I’ve updated everyone on the status of my manuscripts. There’s a good reason for that, albeit an infuriating one. That haven’t been many updates. In fact, the deadline for Crimson Frost Publishing to set a schedule for “Embers of Eros” is fast approaching. I really don’t want to run out of patience with them, but I’m getting uncomfortably close.
For that very reason, it was a breath of fresh air when I got another email from a publisher who is taking a look at another one of my unpublished manuscripts, “Passion Relapse.” This one has much more promise. I might dare to get my hopes up. Even though I’ve been burned before, I want to stay optimistic here.
Out of respect for the process, and to ensure I don’t upset anyone’s legal team, I won’t name the publisher or the name of the person I’ve been corresponding with. I’ll just say they’ve been very responsive and very constructive in their efforts to make “Passion Relapse” a real product. I’m not used to that sort of thing with publishers at this stage in my career, but I’d love to get used to it down the line.
It’s not going to be easy though. They’re not going to treat me like the next Stephen King, nor would I want them to. They’ve made it clear that “Passion Relapse” has some potential. Before they decide anything definitive, though, they want me to review it one more time and make a few edits if possible.
These edits aren’t large. They’re not asking me to rewrite entire sections or add ten new characters. They’re just asking me to tweak the mix of erotica and romance so that it has just the right blend. I can totally understand that and I’m definitely willing to make those edits.
I never write anything that I assume can’t be improved on some level. It’s not just about being your own harshest critic. It’s acknowledging that writing awesome novels is an ever-improving process. You have to keep improving, refining, and polishing your skills. You can’t ever just be satisfied with one novel or one particular writing style. You got to keep improving. That’s what I try to do with every book I write. Hell, I do it with each word I write.
The publisher told me there’s no strict timeline on this, but I intend to set aside some of my other projects and blog posts to do these edits. I want to get them back to the publisher as soon as possible, if only to let them know that I’m also responsive.
I sincerely hope something comes of this. I’d like this to be a stepping stone for other novels, past and present alike. I’ll provide more updates as they come in. For now, it’s all about the editing. A little extra romance here and a little extra sexiness there and “Passion Relapse” should get everyone’s blood flowing in all the right ways for all the right reasons.
I originally had another topic I wanted to discuss today, but then something came up that just felt more pressing. By “came up,” I mean this literally just popped into my head last night while I was working on one of my novels. I admit I tend to think strange, twisted thoughts after a certain hour of the night. A lack of sleep and a couple glasses of whiskey will do that to a man, especially if he thinks a lot about romance/erotica.
However it came to me, it’s something that needs further contemplation. It has to do with a very specific trait pertaining to male sexuality and no, it has nothing to do with the size of certain organs. It has to do with something that we, as a society, can’t seem to decide whether is sexy. So for your consideration, here is the burning question I have to ask.
Is chest hair on a man considered sexy?
It may seem like a trivial detail. There are far more relevant traits and behaviors that improve a man’s sex appeal. We can cook, dance, sing, fight, play sports, play instruments, and shave our asses on a dare. Those are all perfectly valid mechanisms for moistening the panties of women and/or gay men, but what about chest hair?
This isn’t just relevant to my work as an erotica/romance writer where I have to be exceedingly graphic about all those sexy attributes that make a male character want to ditch his shirt. It’s also personal. I come from a family where most, if not all, of the men have a modest to abundant amount of chest hair. For the women in my life, present and future, that makes this somewhat pressing for me.
Yes, I do have chest hair. I’ve actually had some amount of chest hair since I was 19-years-old. I’m won’t I was the first guy in high school to get chest hair, but I’m fairy confident that I was in the top ten percentile. Over time, the amount of chest hair has grown. I’ve never shaved it, nor have I felt inclined to do so, but I find myself asking should I?
It’s a surprisingly difficult question to answer. Chest hair on men is one of those oddly neutral features. Men can have chest hair and be sexy. Men can be as waxed as a newly-minted Ferrari and be just as sexy. Women and gay men in general don’t seem to care either way.
Despite this, the issue of male grooming is still an ongoing discussion. There are no shortage of products and tips for men seeking to shave their chest. Sure, the discussions aren’t as heated as those surrounding pubic hair, but it’s one of those discussions that nobody seems to finish.
We can joke all we want about pubic hair. I’m sure I’ll do a post about that at some point and I doubt that post will be SFW, but chest hair should be less taboo because genitals aren’t involved. Even so, it’s still a topic we refuse to take seriously.
In fact, the closest that recent popular culture has come to addressing this issue was in an old episode of Seinfeld. It’s actually one of my favorite episodes of this show, among many, but it’s a nice metaphor for the issue at hand.
Jerry finds that some women do appreciate a clean-shaven chest, but as he so often does, he finds a way to complicate things. Kramer offers insight, albeit the eccentric type. It’s not entirely relevant, but it is funny.
As a rule of thumb, I think that when a topic finds its way into an episode of a sitcom, then it’s gotten to a point where we, as a society, are stuck on this issue. We can’t figure it out so we make a few jokes about it. It’s immature and goofy, but it can still be funny and that’s better than nothing.
This is also one of those issues where applying caveman logic just doesn’t seem to work. Body hair isn’t so much an integral part of our biological wiring as it is a holdover from our hairy ancestors. For a time, hair had its uses. It provided insulation from cold nights on the savanna. As conditions changed and evolution responded, this just wasn’t necessary anymore.
As a result, evolution basically stopped giving a shit about body hair. It didn’t do a way with it. Evolution is not that efficient. It can be downright eccentric though. Humans are unique in that they’re one of the few primates that lost most of their body hair and science isn’t quite sure why, but there are a few theories.
Whichever theory proves correct, it doesn’t change the fact that we’re still stuck with body hair to some extent. Evolution is basically taking the stance of a dismissive teenager going, “Sure. You want to keep it? You want to ditch it? Do whatever the hell you want.”
That makes for some frustration, but at least it leaves men a bit of flexibility. Hair isn’t like a limb. Cut it off and it grows back. If one lover hates chest hair, you can shave it off and not worry about missing out on lovers who prefer it. As a man, I appreciate and value flexibility in my personal grooming, but I’m still somewhat torn here.
So for the ladies and gay men out there, what say you? Is chest hair sexy? Is a lack of it sexier? Under what circumstances is it sexy? At what point does it cease being sexy? As an erotica/romance writer, I really need to know these things. Any help that anyone could offer on this issue would be greatly appreciated.
It’s Sunday. It’s a crisp fall morning. It’s chilly outside, but that doesn’t stop me from sleeping naked, as I’m so fond of doing. It’s been a long week. I’ve spent a good chunk of that week writing about and contemplating the future.
So for crisp Sunday morning like this, I’d like to take a step back. I’d like to take a deep breath. I’d also like to limit the amount of time I have to wear clothes today. Yes, I know it’s Fall. Yes, I know it’s getting cold out. No, I won’t let that stop me from spending as much time as I can naked. Read some of my books. A good chunk of them have been written while I’m naked.
I find that I have some of my best creative moments while naked, sexy or otherwise. I think everybody’s brain contemplates something unique when they’re naked or feeling sexier than usual. These thoughts are special and are definitely worth sharing.
Some call them “shower thoughts.” This is somewhat appropriate. We all shower and bathe ourselves naked. It’s one of the few times in modern life where we disconnect, step away from our hectic lives, and are just alone with our thoughts and our bodies. It’s one of the most underrated moments of everyone’s day. Even if they don’t bathe every day, just being naked and alone with your thoughts can be quite enlightening, among other things.
There are many on the internet that agree with this sentiment. I’m thankful to live in a time in human history where we have something that allows us to connect with others who are equally fond of lounging around in the nude on a crisp Sunday morning. Whether you’re a man or a woman, it’s a special feeling that’s worth sharing.
Thankfully, there are sites like TheChive, which act as hubs the for funny, sexy, entertaining bits of media you aren’t going to see on PBS. They have entire pages dedicated to such “shower thoughts.” In the interest of inspiring those who may benefit from spending more time naked, I’d like to share a few.
I’d say this depends entirely on the shoes in question, but I can’t say I disagree.
It’s logic like this that makes me think that human intelligence doesn’t get enough credit because only idiots make the news.
I’m not sure I can ever get the same enjoyment out of WWE that I do with porn, but that’s just me.
This almost makes me feel sorry for my male ancestors. I shudder to think about the lengths they went to in order to see a naked woman. What a wonderful time to be alive.
This is one of those things I wish people were more honest about. It would make our love lives much more efficient.
I’d watch that show. Hell, I’d DVR every episode and binge watch it multiple times, if only to thoroughly destroy all the bullshit I learned in sex ed classes in high school.
I’m not sure if this is injustice, hypocrisy, stupidity or a combination of all three. If it’s a combination, it’s a damn potent combination.
I’m not sure Elon Musk has thought this far ahead, but I’d be shocked if he didn’t contemplate this issue at some point.
Again, perfect logic can be both intriguing and disturbing. Although for this one, couldn’t you just take a picture of your flacid penis and be okay?
This isn’t a thought so much as it is a valid strategy. For those of us that enjoy loud, raucous sex, you can never have too many strategies like this.
Something to think about the next time you and your lover have sex on your birthday. It may or may not kill the mood, depending on what your relationship with your parents is like. Personally, I’m thankful my parents enjoyed sex enough to make me.
Those are some fun, sexy thoughts to warm you up on this crisp Sunday morning. Hope helps complete your weekend. Got any other sexy Sunday thoughts to share? Share them! Let’s make this our way of making cold, Sunday mornings more fun.
A big part of being a romance/erotica writer is finding new ways to explore romantic and sexual love in novel ways. Let’s face it. There are only stories you can tell about love at first sight. Those themes are as old as Shakespeare and it’s hard to make those stories interesting these days.
There’s still a place for these kinds of bland, basic love stories and there always will be. I’ve certainly used those elements in my own books. We’re an affectionate species. We love to love every bit as much as we love to hump. However, the ways in which loving and humping manifest will change with time, culture, biology, economics, and whatever happens to be a popular internet meme at the time.
There are already some ongoing trends that are making religious zealots, registered republicans, and anyone overly fond of the 1950s very nervous. According to the Centers for Disease Control, marriage rates are declining. Divorce is declining as well, but that’s to be expected when people aren’t getting married in the first place.
For some people, these numbers are truly terrifying. It means people are daring to love more than one person over the course of their lifetime. It means they’re daring to have sex for reasons that don’t involve consummating a marriage, making a baby, or showing homosexuals on how it should be done. The horror.
I hope everyone can appreciate the sarcasm in that last paragraph because this really shouldn’t be terrifying. People have sex. People love more than one person. It happens because people are complicated creatures. We can’t even agree over pizza toppings and ice cream flavors. How can we possibly agree on the right way to love and make love to one another?
I say this as someone who comes from a family that has a fair number of divorces and a fair number of marriages that’ll probably last until the sun explodes. I know how erratic and fickle our passions can be. It makes sense that our eyes, as well as other parts of our bodies, would wander.
I’ve talked about it before on this blog. Our bodies and our biology don’t know that we live in an era of Tinder, internet porn, and no fault divorce. As far as our brains are concerned, we’re still hunting and gathering in close-knit tribes on the plains of the African savanna.
Within those tribes, monogamy can happen, but it’s not the only way our passions manifest. In some cases, like when women die in childbirth or men die hunting sabretooth tigers, we need to be able to share our passions with others.
Loving more than one person doesn’t just make sense from a biological perspective. It makes sense in that it ties us together closer as a tribe. If we love each other and want to have sex with each other, we’ll be that much more dedicated to protecting and supporting each other. It’s a beautiful thing. It’s also a sexy thing. Even the most ardent clergyman or nun can’t deny that.
So when I hear stories about how monogamy is in decline or that family institutions are decaying, I want to roll my eyes and bash my head into a brick wall. This sentiment gives the false impression that monogamy has always been the end all/be all of sex, love, and relationships. That’s just not how the world works. It’s not how we’re wired as humans. It’s not even the theme of most sitcoms anymore, as “Modern Family” can attest.
So who is claiming that monogamy is in decline? It isn’t just the usual cast of clowns from the overly religious types who think their particular deity wants them to micromanage every aspect of our personal lives. Even more liberal types, like the Young Turks, are proclaiming loudly that monogamy and family life is going the way of disco, bell-bottom pants, and the Macarana.
Now I can understand the doom-saying from both sides. They’re looking at the same data and noticing the same trends. People just aren’t getting married, having children, and living around a white picket fence for the rest of their lives anymore. For some strange reason, this life doesn’t appeal to every member of the human species. Go figure.
That’s more sarcasm by the way. Sarcasm is necessary when addressing any form of doom-saying, be it from wide-eyed hippie liberals or fire and brimstone loving religious nuts. However, this sentiment that monogamy is in serious decline is worth taking seriously, if only because it means I may have to tweak the themes of my books.
As I’ve noted before, the current economics for marriage and monogamy are shit. The legal framework in which love and marriage operate are woefully unequal. In some ways, men get screwed over. In some ways, women get screwed over. It is a horribly unequal, inefficient institution that may as well have been crafted by divorce lawyers getting paid by the hour.
Since I’ve beat that dead horse more than it needs to be beaten, I won’t go off on another rant about why divorce sucks and why expectations of monogamy are unrealistic. I don’t think I need to belabor those points than I already have. However, there is one element to this sentiment that I think is worth pointing out and it’s something the Young Turks even discussed to a certain extent.
While it may be true that marriage and monogamy are in decline, it’s not necessarily declining in an equitable manner. What do I mean by that? Well, in the same way that divorce and marriage laws are woefully unbalanced, our cultural concepts of sex, romance, and gender relations are just as out of whack.
It isn’t because of the rise of feminism or radical feminism. It isn’t because of men losing their edge or fearfully protecting their male privilege either. In many respects, the problem has to do with the lingering impact that our uptight, puritanical, monogamy-loving culture still has.
Keep in mind, we still live in a culture where women can’t agree on whether Kim Kardashian showing her naked body on the internet counts as empowering or shameful. We live in a culture where a man can’t just walk up to a woman, say she has nice breasts, and not dread being sued for sexual harassment. We live in an environment where false accusations of sexual assault can ruin lives.
In other words, our current culture isn’t ready to let go of monogamy. We’re still kind of stuck on it. We still have these strange, skewed expectations about how men and women relate to one another, both romantically and sexually.
We expect women to be reserved and prudish, never freely engaging in sex with as many men as she wants. If she does, we as a society just assume there’s something wrong with her and go out of our way to shame her. It can’t possibly be that she just enjoys having sex and all the toe-curling pleasure it gives her.
We also expect men to be aggressive, pig-headed brutes who would gladly hump a dead cow if it looked enough like Jennifer Lawrence’s ass. If a man goes out and humps every woman within his area code, then he’s just being a man. If he actually goes out of his way to love and be faithful to one woman, then he must be a total pussy.
You see the problem with these expectations? Now try to imagine a society functioning without monogamy. It just can’t work. Our collective heads will explode from all the double standards, hypocrisy, and conflicting biological imperatives.
The fact remains that gender relations in our current society are just too fucked up right now. They’re too unequal. They’re too imbalanced for monogamy to decline to the extent that doomsayers fear. I’ll let the immortal Eric Duckman sum it up in the most crude, offensive way possible.
It’s unavoidable. Men and women today aren’t ready for a post-monogamous society. Too many of us still cling to the “Father Knows Best” principles of how love, relationships, and sex should manifest. Almost as many cling to the politically correct sentiment that one gender must be guilted and shamed to no end for past injustices. It seems like there’s no way for society to achieve a healthy balance.
I try to be more optimistic than that. Our society always has room for improvement. Trends change. Cultural attitudes change. We, as a species, are great at adapting to new conditions. It’s part of what makes us the dominant species on this planet.
We tend to be slow, clumsy, and inept as hell when adapting our culture to new conditions, but we do get around to it. I believe that at some point, the incentives for a truly balanced understanding of love, relationships, and sex will be greater than the forces driving us apart.
It may take a long time, but it’s one of those goals that is worth the wait and the effort. It’s a goal I hope to explore in my books in various ways. I might not be able to speed up the process, but I can at least make the wait entertaining and sexy as hell.
Everybody has their own unique turn-ons, turn-offs, mood-setters, and mood-killers. Human beings are diverse, innovative, and at-times downright weird in what turns them on. I’m not just talking about exotic fetishes or elaborate role playing either. There really is no one way to make a man or a woman horny.
Whether you’re straight or gay, male or female, monogamous or polyamorous, your sexual wiring is entirely unique to you. Sure, you may share your tastes with some people. Hopefully, you share it with a loving and passionate partner who knows all the right combinations to heat up your loins. Whatever your romantic situation, these proclivities are still unique to you and make up a significant part of our personality.
Having dipped my feet into a few hot-button, controversial topics like radical feminism, porn addiction, and the impact of religion on sex, I feel the time has come to lighten the mood a bit on this blog. If possible, I’d like the made the mood a little sexier. It’s October now. Halloween is just around the corner. That means we’ll all have an excuse to channel our spookier proclivities.
In a perfect world, we really wouldn’t need such excuses. We’d be able to freely share our sexual proclivities and explore them without fear of shame or scrutiny. Sadly, we don’t live in a perfect world, as our irrational attitudes towards circumcision show. So we have to use impersonal blogs and private clubs to discuss such things.
Accepting the many imperfections of this world, I’d like to use this backwater blog of mine to share in those proclivities. I won’t ask what few viewers I have to get too personal. I understand that’s an unreasonable request from someone who is a long way from achieving his goal of being a successful erotica/romance writer. So I’m willing to do what 95 percent of the internet won’t and be reasonable with my audience.
In that spirit, I’m going to list a few of the little things that I find sexy. Now when I say sexy, I don’t necessarily mean these are fetishes of mine. There are no clubs for these little things, at least not that I know of. Rest assured though, I do check for these things and as far as I can tell, these are just personal proclivities that I happen to have.
I won’t list everything that I’ve ever found sexy. That would take multiple blog posts and there are only so many hours in the day. Plus, I had some awkward teenage years. There are some things I’d rather not list, discuss, or even acknowledge.
With that in mind, here are a few little things that I, an aspiring erotica/romance writer, find sexy.
Sexy Little Thing Number One: Women in Sweatpants
There are any number of sexy garments that a woman can wear. Hell, the “intimate apparel” industry is a $10 billion chunk of the economy. I understand and appreciate all those sexy garments. Yes, I mean all of them.
That said, there’s just something inherently alluring about a simple pair of sweats that’s not to baggy, not to tight, and much easier to get off than a pair of skin-tight jeans. I can’t say for certain that sweats look as good on a man, but I can say that a woman wearing sweats will make my twisted mind wander into sexy domains.
Sexy Little Thing Number Two: Badass Female Soldiers
Since the superheroes in my favorite comics are fictional, I find myself drawn to the women who serve this wonderful country. With their badassery, they protect this wonderful land of freedom, liberty, and spray cheese in a can. How can I not find that sexy on some levels?
Sexy Little Thing Number Three: A Simple Casual Sigh
Now what do I mean by this? How can a simple sigh be sexy? Women can do so many sexy things with their voice. Why else would sexy 1-900 numbers have racked up so many phone bills in the mid to late 90s?
For me, a simple sigh sends so many subtle messages. There’s enough obscene dirty talk in internet porn and “50 Shades of Grey” these days. There’s a time and a place for that kind of crude, overt dirty talk. There’s also a time and place for something simpler and subtler. Those times are woefully underappreciated.
Sexy Little Thing Number Four: A Woman Who Cheers At Sports.
I know sports are supposed to be a “guy thing.” I get that 95 percent of all sports prey upon our testosterone-soaked brains, bombarding us with manly feats of ass-kicking manliness in the name of winning that sweet, sweet championship and all the bragging rights that come with it. It’s part of the culture.
We, as a society, don’t expect women to share the same passion for sports that men do. Those expectations are unreasonable and flawed. Women can like sports too. I don’t deny that. I just find the women who aren’t afraid share in this manly passion a special kind of sexy. I see a woman wearing a football jersey and I can’t help but smile.
Sexy Little Thing Number Five: Sharing A Tub Of Ice Cream
There are all sorts of sexy turn-ons involving food. Make no mistake. There is an entire fetish that mixes food and sex in the weirder, messiest, most extreme way possible. I won’t describe it because I just ate and I’d like to keep the contents of my stomach in place.
This little act is not like those. For me, this is more romantic than it is sexy. Who doesn’t love ice cream? Who doesn’t love something sweet and savory? The idea of sharing it with a lover, eating out of the same tub and using the same spoon because we don’t care where our mouths have been, just has this special allure.
So there you have it. Those are five little things that I find uniquely sexy. I’m sure I’m not the only one, but I feel like we all need to appreciate the little things every now and then, especially the things we find sexy. It reminds us that not everything has to be some elaborate setup in a Las Vegas honeymoon suite to be sexy.
With all that said, I’d like to open the floor up to what few commenters I have on this blog. Please share with me what little things you find sexy. It doesn’t have to be weird. Actually, it would be downright interesting if it were weird because I might be able to incorporate that into my novels. In that case, weirdness is optional.
Weird or not, please take the time to share it! I’d love to hear what others find sexy. It’s a weird and wonderful world we live in. We should find sexiness wherever we can and celebrate it!
Just thought I’d give a quick update on the status of “Embers of Eros,” the book that has proven to be quite the tease, if that’s not too fitting a term. A couple weeks ago, I finally heard back from the infrequently responsive folks at Crimson Frost Publishing. After a number of annoying delays that were neither my fault, nor theirs, they sent me the edits to “Embers of Eros.”
Well, in between blogs and contemplating new ways to apply caveman logic to this crazy world we live in, I’ve been working hard on those edits. They’ve revealed a number of style and grammar issues that I hope to refine for future books. They’ve also revealed a few loose ends that I needed to tweak, which I have.
Considering how many times I’ve read, reviewed, re-reviewed, revised, revised again, and revised one more time for the hell of it, it’s been a pretty arduous process. I can see why some writers lose their goddamn mind, but I can also see how it brings out the best parts of the creative process.
You can’t treat every piece as if it’s it were drawn from William Faulkner and Stephen King’s brain matter. You always have to be willing to improve and refine your craft. It’s never something you master. It’s just something you keep improving. If you get really good at it along the way, then it’ll show.
I want to keep getting better at my craft. I want to keep telling sexier, smarter, more romantic stories. “Embers of Eros” is just another step in that process. So after a few late nights and some overtime, here and there, I’ve finished! The edits are done and sent off to Crimson Frost for their final approval.
Now I don’t have a solid release date yet, but I’ve been told by an editor that the aim is to get “Embers of Eros” on the market by the end of the year. Given Crimson Frost’s history of gross procrastination, I’m not going to assume more than I should with that announcement. If I do get something concrete, I’ll be sure to announce it here.
I’m working with the hope that “Embers of Eros” will be my first showcase of what I can offer the world of erotica/romance. I know I have several self-published books out there already, but let’s face it. Those books aren’t going to get anyone’s panties wet if they don’t get some kind of support from a publisher.
It is my sincere hope that “Embers of Eros” gets my foot in the door, so to speak. Before I can make a career out of this passion of mine, I need to carve myself a niche. I believe “Embers of Eros” can be the first of many steps in that process. If I can make a few romance/erotica fans satisfied (and horny) in the process, I’ll consider it a success. The money would just be a nice bonus.
In addition to the edits on “Embers of Eros,” I also wanted to announce some more potentially exciting news. I want to emphasize the potential part because this is nothing concrete. This may just be me getting my hopes up and making my ass a larger target than it needs to be, but it is promising.
Another one of my manuscripts, which I’ve yet to self-publish, got a partial response from another publisher. The manuscript is for a story called “Passion Relapse,” a story I wrote shortly after “Embers of Eros.” I’ve been sending it to various romance and erotica publishers without much luck. Being so focused on “Embers of Eros,” I pretty much put it aside.
Then, on a rainy and dreary weekend, responded in a way that didn’t include an outright rejection. Just like that, I was spewing rainbows from my mouth with glee. It’s not a rejection. These days, that’s as good a news as someone in my position in the romance/erotica game can hope for.
So far, I don’t have much to go on. All I know is that someone from this publisher (who I’ll refrain from naming for the moment) has been assigned to review my manuscript. That means they didn’t just read the first few pages, roll their eyes, and throw in the trash. I have a feeling that’s farther than a lot of manuscripts get these days so I’ll take that as win.
I don’t know when I’ll hear more. Given how long “Embers of Eros” took just to get edits, I like to think I’ve gotten pretty adept at exercising patience. I’m fully prepared to exercise more, if only to hedge my bets, so to speak. If things don’t work out with Crimson Frost, then perhaps this new publisher will give me another option. At a time when my other options involve rejection letters, that’s a big fucking deal for me.
It’s an exciting time. Again, I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, but I’ll allow them get up just a little. I love writing romance/erotica. I love conjuring sexy, exotic stories to warm the loins of the masses. I’d like to be able to make a living doing so and I hope this is a small step in that process.
In my limited experiences in this wonderfully imperfect world we live in, one of the most infuriating retorts is the horrendously overused, “Better late than never.” Every time I hear someone say that, I want rip my ears off punch the nearest brick wall. I’ve said it myself and I want to punch myself whenever it comes out of my mouth.
That said, there are some circumstances where this annoying phrase applies. It’s very true that good things are worth waiting for. Whether it’s a pizza, a cookie, or a lap dance at a strip club, the wait and anticipation can make the end result more satisfying.
Well, some things are just so damn late that you stopped giving a shit years ago. It becomes one of those unspoken taboos, like asking someone about a tattoo they regret or an oddly shaped scar on your ass. Even so, it’s still satisfying on some levels when someone finally gets around to finishing something that should’ve been finished.
Today is one of those days. Today, DC Comics finally came clean about one of the worst kept secrets in all of comics. That’s right. They admitted that Wonder Woman is “queer.”
Let that sink in for a moment. One of the most iconic superheroes of all time, and definitely one of the most iconic female superheroes of all time, is not entirely heterosexual. For most people in 2016, who have already seen same-sex marriage legalized and major gay actors become successful, this is barely worth a raised eyebrow. For noted comic book fans (and romance/erotica fans) like myself, it’s a big fucking deal.
As a result, this created kind of a problem for Wonder Woman and by “kind of,” I mean “are you fucking kidding me?” After Marston, DC Comics took Wonder Woman down a very different path. They completely and utterly removed sexuality from her character. Yes, she was a woman. Yes, she was a beautiful woman by almost any standard. However, her sexuality could only ever be assumed and never explored.
This is a problem and not just because it allows fanboys on message boards to ascribe every kind of perverse proclivity to Wonder Woman and believe me, they are pretty damn perverse. The problem is that it removes a critical element from Wonder Woman’s character while sending a terrible message about female characters in general, albeit indirectly.
For most of her history (a good chunk of which was spent distancing her from her BDSM origins), Wonder Woman has been conveyed as a badass female warrior. Now there’s nothing wrong with that in the slightest. There’s definitely a place for badass female warriors in our culture. Woman can, and do, kick ass. They’ve kicked plenty of ass throughout history and that should be celebrated.
The problem with Wonder Woman, as she was developed for most of the 20th century, was that being a badass female warrior meant effectively nullifying her sexuality. That’s not to say she was completely asexual. She did have love interests, the most famous being Steve Trevor.
However, this relationship never developed into the kind of epic love story that other male superheroes enjoyed. Superman got to have a relationship with Lois Lane. Reed Richards got to have a relationship with Sue Storm. Spider-Man got to have a relationship with Gwen Stacy, Mary Jane Watson, the Black Cat, and a whole host of other women that would probably qualify him as a man-whore.
For Wonder Woman, though, Steve Trevor has rarely been more than a supporting character. They were never really that intimate. Most of Wonder Woman’s story focused on making her this badass warrior who could hold her own with Superman, Batman, and the rest of the Justice League. So it’s not right to say that Steve Trevor got relegated to the Friend-Zone, but he did get grossly overshadowed.
That’s not to say she didn’t have actual, functioning, intimate relationships with men. For a brief time between 2011 and 2016, Wonder Woman was in a relationship with Superman. It was a pretty serious relationship too. This was a time when he wasn’t with Lois Lane and she had a different role in the comics, but it was as serious a relationship as Wonder Woman has ever had.
It was one of the few times when DC Comics even acknowledged that Wonder Woman had a desire for intimacy. They never show them naked in bed or anything, but they do heavily imply that Superman and Wonder Woman engage in a little super sex. I’ll leave readers to fantasize about what that entails.
Admit it. You’re curious and intrigued by the idea of these two getting frisky. I know I’ve thought about it. Then again, I’ve thought about a lot of crazy sexual things in my life. That actually makes DC’s efforts to limit Wonder Woman’s sexuality all the more egregious.
It’s hard enough that DC goes out of its way to avoid sexual issues with Wonder Woman. They’ll let her get romantic with someone. They’ll even let her get intimate. However, they don’t dare dig a little deeper, as though a woman who grew up on an island of women would be a perfectly functional heterosexual woman.
This is where the context of this news gets pretty asinine. On top of all the taboos surrounding Wonder Woman’s sexuality, there’s the not-so-minor detail of Wonder Woman growing up on an island full of immortal women. Despite every effort by prudish comic creators who wanted Wonder Woman to be a kid-friendly superhero and not a gay icon, there’s only so much anyone can do to avoid the implications.
On an island populated only with women, do they all become lesbians? Do they all become bisexual? These are all questions that DC Comics was all too happy to leave unanswered. They had to know that generations of fans would assume that there would be a lesbian orgy on this island every now and then. It just took them until 2016 to actually acknowledge the possibility.
Greg Rucka, the current writer on the Wonder Woman comic and an accomplished comic book writer in his own right, finally ended DC’s silence. He didn’t put it in terms best reserved for an issue of Hustler, but he does finally put a dent in this old, outdated taboo.
“And when you start to think about giving the concept of Themyscira its due, the answer is, ‘How can they not all be in same sex relationships?’ Right? It makes no logical sense otherwise,” he continued. “But an Amazon doesn’t look at another Amazon and say, ‘You’re gay.’ They don’t. The concept doesn’t exist. Now, are we saying Diana has been in love and had relationships with other women? As [artist] Nicola [Scott] and I approach it, the answer is obviously yes.”
It’s painfully true, albeit in a sexy sort of way. Wonder Woman comes from an exotic culture of warrior women, gods, and demigods. Naturally, her approach to sex and her understanding of what means to be gay, straight, or bisexual will be very different.
We need only look at the matriarchal societies in the real world to see just how different our assumptions can be on matters of sex and intimacy. Why should Wonder Woman’s situation be any different? It shouldn’t.
It’s 2016. We have same-sex marriage, gender-neutral bathrooms, and enough lesbian porn to build a small island in the Pacific. The news that Wonder Woman isn’t entirely straight shouldn’t be an issue. It also shouldn’t have taken this long to come out, but better late than never, right?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go punch myself for saying that.
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