I’ve always found the concept of friends with benefits to be a complicated way of confronting a simple situation. People get horny. Not everyone has romantic chemistry, but they still have sexual chemistry. Even as a romance fan, I don’t deny that. For some, it is possible to want to have sex with someone, but not be in love with them.
Sex and intimacy are basic human needs. I feel like friends with benefits is a byproduct of a modern world where people are free to be individuals, but aren’t always equipped to navigate the emotional landscape around them. Our culture places a high value on true love and monogamy, but is less inclined these to get in the way of people pursuing other sexual arrangements.
In some cases, it triggers a moral panic that terrifies parents and frustrates teachers. In others, it inspires a couple of sub-par romantic movies. This erratic approach to the concept of friends with benefits makes it difficult to explore. It can ruin friendships forever or blossom into a romance that lasts a lifetime. The outcome varies wildly from couple to couple.
Erratic or not, there’s still a unique sex appeal that emerges through friends with benefits. Even if you subtract the romance, it still has more depth than a one-night stand or a drunken hook-up. I believe that depth can have greater meaning beyond the sex itself. This Daily Sexy Musing is my way of delving into that meaning. Enjoy!
You are my friend.
You are my lover.
You aren’t my soul mate.
You aren’t my true love.
Even so, I come to you when I need an intimate embrace. You are there for me, just as I am there for you. There’s no elaborate display or romantic gesture. There’s just two people, coming together and seeking relief. It’s a beautiful thing, but only to a point. There is purpose, but with limited potential.
There’s a time for friends and there’s a time for love. With us, we can only have one, but not the other. A friend will listen and console you. There is love, but not the kind that fosters romance. To be with someone is not the same as just being around them. I can’t be with you, but I can be there for you.
Being there means giving a part of ourselves.
Being there means offering comfort.
Being there means being close without being in love.
It’s in those moments when a friend can offer more without being a lover. They can touch you, hold you, and caress you until that primal need is filled. It’s so simple and basic, intimate touch coupled with a sweet release. It gives us moments of bliss mixed with moments of contentment. We may not have love, but we still have each other.
For now, that’s all we need. It’s the most we can offer. It doesn’t fulfill every desire, but it’s enough to keep our hearts intact. We can still find love, even if it’s not with each other. That time will come. We’ll both be ready for it. Until then, this will do.
We are still friends.
We are still lovers.
We cherish the benefits.
We cherish each other.