Strong Female Characters and the (Strange) Assumptions About Them

I’m of the opinion that we make more progress than we think, but not nearly as much as we should. There’s no doubt about it. Novels, TV shows, cartoons, comics and video games have come a long way with respect to female characters.

We’re all familiar with the time-tested tropes. For a long time, a female character could basically be cut and pasted from any James Bond movie. Either she’s a devious, femme-fatale or a pretty love interest meant to supplement the story of the male protagonist. If she’s promiscuous in any way, she’s probably going to die. If she’s innocent and pure, she’ll probably live and be the hero or the prize for the hero. While there’s a place for these kinds of stories, the times are changing.

In recent years, there is a renewed interest in strong female characters who don’t fit into these same tropes. I’ve mentioned a few, like Vanessa in the Deadpool movie. Other more prominent characters include Black Widow in “The Avengers,” Furiosa from “Mad Max: Fury Road,” and Katniss Everdeen from “The Hunger Games.” These are all characters that take center stage, neither supplementing male protagonists nor becoming too similar to male protagonists. It’s a beautiful thing and an overdue change.

However, is our understanding of what makes up a strong female character really that refined? I’m of the opinion that pop culture in general is still stumbling around in the dark like a drunk monkey, trying to figure it out. It’s kind of important for me to acknowledge because I’m a writer. I’m trying to create strong female characters in my books. I admit it’s a work-in-progress, but how much progress have we actually made?

Once again, the fine folks at Cracked.com use a little dirty humor to point out some of the flaws in our current understanding in strong female characters. I don’t agree entirely with their assessment of certain aspects of pop culture, but some of their points are worth making and they’re points I need to consider for my own work. They focus specifically on movies, but I think it can apply to any medium right now.

6 Bizarre Assumptions Movies Make About Strong Women

So maybe we’re not as progressive as we think we are. The one quote in the article that stands out the most is this one:

It seems to come back to this idea that this is all a zero-sum game, that anyone asking for more female characters really hates males and wants to see them mocked and emasculated. “Oh, you say you want more strong female characters? How about if we just showed them shooting a dude right in the penis? Would that do it?”

This, I think, is the key to understanding the core of a strong female character. Their strength doesn’t come from overpowering men or being better than men. It comes from being able to operate on a level playing field with men. It’s not about one gender dominating the other. It’s about equality. There’s a time and place for dominant and submissive personalities. The success of “50 Shades of Grey” is proof of that. Those times and places, however, should be the exceptions rather than the norms.

It’s a challenge. That’s for sure. Everything worth doing is a challenge. It’s one I want to take on. I believe I did to some extent with “The Big Game.” Yes, it is a story that utilizes some BDSM elements. However, I do it in a way that allows both male and female characters to operate equally. It’s my next book that will present a far greater challenge.

This next book, which is still without a title, is structured around what I hope to be a strong female character. I don’t want that character to fall into some of the same traps that Cracked.com so eloquently laid out. I want her to be tough and strong without having to dominate over every male character. I won’t claim I’ll succeed in full, but I’d like to make a concerted effort. If I can find a publisher willing to take a chance as well, I’d like to see that effort pan out.

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Video Game Romances – Beyond Princesses and Pac-Man

There are a lot of mediums to tell stories these days. Sure, there will always be a place for books, but media is a lot more complex. I’m not just talking about TV and movies either. I’m sure that with the success of Pokemon GO, someone is trying to use AR and smartphones to make a love story. However, there is one medium that has influenced me more than most and it’s not one people usually associate with love stories. Yes, I’m talking about video games.

First off, I’m not just talking about Mario rescuing Princess Peach. That’s romance at its most basic, overly Disney-like levels. In Mario’s defense, there weren’t many ways to tell meaningful stories in the 8-bit days. That changed as gaming technology improved. Now, video games can tell stories every bit as intricate as any big budget movie. The difference here is that the audience can control the direction of that romance. That makes people more engaged in the development of this romance, as opposed to watching it unfold on a movie screen or seeing it unfold in the pages of a book. Make no mistake. That can be pretty powerful.

Having played a lot of video games as a kid, I can vividly remember the first video game romance that really struck me. It’s this one:

That’s Tidus and Yuna from a video game called Final Fantasy X. It’s a game I didn’t play for the romance. I played it because at the time, I was really into RPG style games. I knew this game had a story. I even knew it had some romantic elements to it, as plenty of other games had. What I didn’t know was how deeply the romance in this game would strike me.

Without getting into the long, convoluted story, which would take no fewer than 15 blog posts to do justice, I’ll just say that by playing this game, you put yourself in a position to grow attached to each character. You’re the one that helps them grow and moves them along in their story. You have a say in terms of the pace and efficiency with which they move. So when two characters develop a strong romance, it does have an emotional impact.

For me, the biggest impact came at the end of the game. Without throwing too many spoilers into the mix, I’ll just say that it’s the first time I ever got genuinely emotional at the end of a game. I remember feeling a lump in my throat when I watched the final cutscene. I just sat there holding my controller, my mouth hung open in amazement. Did it really happen? Did I really get this attached to these characters? Short answer: yes, I did.

Playing Final Fantasy X didn’t just influence my taste in video games. It helped shape my tastes in romance for years to come. Other games built on what Final Fantasy X established, at least for me. Games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age actually allow players to choose which romantic partner they want to pursue. It doesn’t even have to be male/female. It can be a same-sex romance as well. It can even be between a human an an alien. That’s how much video games have progressed these days.

It’s a level of engagement that cannot be matched in a book, but it does offer an important lesson. It shows that when there’s an emotional and personal investment in a romance, it has a much stronger impact. The strength of any love story, be it a Shakespearean play or a game of Super Mario Brothers, is the impact it has.

That’s the biggest challenge I have with my stories, creating a romance that has that impact. I like to think books like “Skin Deep” create an engaging romance that gets people worked up, but I know there’s room for improvement. My upcoming book, “Embers of Eros,” is my most ambitious effort at such a romance. However, it’s still at the mercy of Crimson Frost Publishing, who continue to delay its release.

I will continue to make more effort at these romances in future books. For now, there’s plenty of other romance to explore, including games. So while I wait to tell my story, here’s a nice article from Complex.com about realistic video game romances.

The 25 Most Realistic Video Game Romances

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Anatomy of Doomed Romances

I’ve talked about the right and wrong ways to explore sexuality and BDSM on this blog. I’ve talked about the potential benefits and insights that alternative concepts of sexuality may bring. However, there’s another side of that coin that’s worth talking about and, given that my work involves both erotic and romantic elements, it’s something that needs to be touched on.

A lot of my books have heavy romantic elements. At their core, books like “Skin Deep,” “Child of Orcus,” and even the aptly titled “The Escort and the Gigolo” are love stories. A big part of the story involves two characters coming together in a meaningful way. For the most part, I try to make this journey compelling, as well as sexy. I try to avoid typical Disney cliches. We all know them when we see them. It’s a “love at first sight” or a “forbidden love they can’t have.” Those make for tantalizing possibilities, but do they really make for healthy relationships?

It’s an important question to ask because some of these stories fail to acknowledge the flaws in those relationships. Make no mistake. Those flaws are there. The concept of “love at first sight” is sweet and all, but it’s barely the first step to a meaningful relationship and not taking more steps can undermine both the story and the relationship as a whole.

This isn’t a new issue either. Doomed romances are a big part of literature, going back to the days of the ancients. There’s an undeniable appeal to them, albeit one that reflects a crass understanding of love and meaningful relationships. Paste Magazine even made a list a few years back that highlights some of the most notable. I don’t think their choices will surprise anybody.

8 Epically Doomed Relationships in Literature

That’s one kind of doomed relationship. Most won’t argue the premise. Then, there are the doom relationships explored by Cracked.com in an article that may surprise some. Being a humor website full of dirty jokes, they took a more crass look at certain iconic romances. As is often the case, a crass gaze reveals an unexpected insight.

5 Movie Romances That Won’t Last According To Science

Some of the romances on this list are sure to make a certain subset of fans tense, but sometimes science and reality can be just that harsh. We tend to forget that relationships founded on excessive sacrifice or two people from different words, such as Han Solo and Princess Leia or John Bender and Clair Sandish, have more obstacles to overcome than most. By and large, those obstacles can be pretty detrimental. They’re not impossible to overcome, but the stories rarely explore this. It’s almost always just about how they come together. Then, the credits roll and we’re all left to fill in the blanks.

I understand why that happens. Exploring the intricacies of how relationships blossom and flourish is rarely as interesting as the process of coming together. I’m guilty of that as well in some of my stories. My book, “The Final Communion,” is the best example of that. At the same time, the concept of doomed romances provides an important context to developing romance as a whole. It’s a context I hope to keep in mind as I explore new stories. “The Big Game” doesn’t have heavy romantic elements, but some of the other books I have in mind will. Whatever comes of them, I hope I can show that there is a place for more meaningful romance that won’t feel so doomed in the end.

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Wonder Woman Movie Official Trailer (No BDSM)

Since I’ve been talking about Wonder Woman all week, it’s only fitting that this is the week where the trailer to her first big movie drops. It has been a long time coming. Despite being one of the most iconic female heroes of all time, she has never starred in her own movie. Catwoman got a movie. Elektra got a movie. But not Wonder Woman? It’s an injustice to say the least.

The wait is almost over though. The trailer is here and no, it does not show any signs of Wonder Woman’s BDSM origins. Not that anyone expected it to, but that’s kind of where we are with Wonder Woman right now. The vision of William Marston, her creator, has undergone many shifts and revisions. Right now, DC and superhero movies need a Wonder Woman that plays into the same themes that other movies have in recent years. It may take a long time for those BDSM origins to be revisited in a movie, but it’s a start.

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A Nice Little Graphic on BDSM

Earlier this week, I wrote an article about the potential health benefits of BDSM. Later, I found a nice little piece on Cracked.com that sums it up a little better than I can. So if you’re not in the mood to read a whole blog post, just check this out.

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A Response from Crimson Frost…Sort of

As I’ve been sharing my thoughts on the kinky origins of Wonder Woman and the health benefits to BDSM, I’ve also been waiting to hear back from the folks at Crimson Frost Publishing on the status of my book, “Embers of Eros.” Unlike “The Big Game,” this book has been finished for three years now. I hoped it would become my first non-self published book, thereby opening the doors to new audiences and new opportunities. Since then, I realize I might have been hoping for too much.

For over a year now, I’ve been sending email after email, chatting with editors on the time-frame for the release of this book. It should’ve been out last year, but family issues with one of the editors caused a delay. I understand that completely. Family does come first. However, in that time, I’ve submitted and re-submitted paperwork to Crimson Frost. I’ve heard on multiple occasions that my book is undergoing edits. Despite all this, I’ve seen little to no progress and to date, none of the promises they made me have come to fruition.

So last week, I sent the editor I’ve been working with an email. I basically said to give me a clearer time-frame or I’ll withdraw my manuscript. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to start all over from scratch again. Well yesterday evening, I finally did hear back. It wasn’t much of a response though. It amounted to, “I apologize. We wanted to shoot for an August release, but things came up so we’re pushing it back.”

I want to be understanding. I really do. I’m not an unreasonable man. I’m willing to be patient for a mutually beneficial payoff. However, Crimson Frost is straining even my patience at this point. I sent a response email, which hasn’t been replied to you, that if “Embers of Eros” isn’t released by the end of the year, I’m taking my business elsewhere. I hope that doesn’t happen. I hope Crimson Frost can come through for me. That might be hoping for too much.

In the meantime, I’m holding out hope that the publishers I submitted “The Big Game” to will be a bit more responsive. They understand as well as I do that self-publishing only goes so far. If I want to build an audience for my books, I need help from an agent or a publisher. I was hoping Crimson Frost would be my first. I hope it is, but I’m tempering my expectations accordingly.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to explore new directions for this blog. People seem to be enjoying my discussions about insights into BDSM culture and what not. As I wait for news on publishers, I’ll look for new topics to discuss, but I am hoping that the news I’m waiting for comes soon.

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Learning From Wonder Woman’s BDSM Origins

This post is a follow-up to the one I did yesterday about Wonder Woman’s Semi-Secret BDSM Origins. I feel a follow-up is necessary because in looking into this issue, it got me thinking about a few concepts that I explore in my recently-completed book, “The Big Game.” While I have explored BDSM concepts in my books, namely in “The Final Communions,” I’ve never really explored the actual merits of these concepts. I think I’ve scratched the surface with “The Big Game” and I hope it inspires more exploration with future projects.

In discussing Wonder Woman’s BDSM origins, I pointed out how her creator, William Marston, had some pretty unusual views about the concept of submission and domination, at least from traditional Western perspective. With Wonder Woman, he frames the act of submission as an act of love and trust. It’s an act someone does willingly to show their respect and love. He sees it as a part of the feminine ideal, the complete antithesis of a patriarchal system where power oppresses for the sake of power.

It’s a powerful and admittedly radical concept, especially in an era where people are less trusting of those in power. The historically low 11-percent approval rating of Congress is proof enough of that. If Marston were alive today, I imagine he’d see this as further indication that patriarchal power structures are inherently corrupt. Too many people in this system seek power as a means to avoid submission to anyone or anything because they believe such submission is a bad thing. In a culture that shames itself over legacies of slavery and oppression of minorities, that’s understandable.

It also presents a unique opportunity to explore alternatives. I think William Marston’s ideas surrounding BDSM, including those highlighted in Wonder Woman’s origin story, offer something unique and different for a jaded population. Think about it a little deeper. Can submission be an act of love? Can domination be an act of love? Can these concepts be done in a way that subverts the kind of patriarchal corruption that Marston criticized?

I say it can and I make that case in “The Big Game.” The setup of the book alone puts it in a perfect position to highlight both systems. The story involves football, the ultimate exercise in masculinity and domination. The men who play this game are conditioned to seek domination over their opponents. Naturally, this is going to skew their idea of submission. Football players, especially those who play beyond pee-wee levels, will be more reluctant than most to entertain this idea.

So what happens when one player who carries himself with these skewed ideas more than most gets a lesson in loving submission? What does it do to him? How does it affect him? Is the effect positive or negative? Can it help him be a better football player?

These are all questions I explore in “The Big Game.” They’re ideas that I hope to flesh out even more in future projects. The act of submission doesn’t have to be cold, cruel, and callous. William Marston used Wonder Woman to frame this act in the opposite context. I use that same context in “The Big Game.” It is possible for submission and domination to convey love and trust. Without those emotional undertones, it becomes the kind of cold, callous act that leads to corruption and abuse.

I think the time is right for these concepts to enter the mainstream. I think the public is more open to alternative ways of thinking than ever before. I’m still waiting for responses from publishers, but I hope “The Big Game” can be part of that.

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The BDSM Origins of Wonder Woman

As a longtime comic book fan, I like to think I know a bit more about comic book characters than fans who only know them through the movies. That said, even non-comic book fans probably know who Wonder Woman is. She’s one of the most iconic fictional characters of the last 70 years, ranking right up there with Superman and Batman. Most know her as a badass warrior princess from a secret island run by other badass warrior women. What isn’t quite as well known is that Wonder Woman’s origin is actually closely tied to the world of BDSM.

It’s true. That’s not just some twisted interpretation of early comics talking. It’s well-documented that Wonder Woman’s creator, William Marston, had some rather unconventional views about sex, gender, and feminism. In some respects, he was ahead of his time. In others, he just represented an alternative voice at a time when it was hard for those voices to be heard.

So how exactly does BDSM fit into Wonder Woman’s origin? Well first and foremost, it’s important to note that most of these origins have been ignored, undone, or nullified in some elaborate way within the modern comics. Pick up a Wonder Woman comic today and you won’t find many signs of BDSM or radical feminist undertones. You’ll see a woman being a badass warrior fighting monsters, aliens, and super-villains. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, it does underscore the vision of Wonder Woman’s creator.

So what exactly is that vision? Well, Vice.com did an article last year with Noah Berlatsky, who wrote a book about Wonder Woman entitled, “Wonder Woman: Bondage and Feminism in Marston/Peter Comics.” If you’re at all interested in Wonder Woman or older concepts of BDSM, I highly recommend it. In this book, Berlatsky says:

“But Marston has a real feminist agenda, I think, not just in the sense that he wants to put women in power, but in the sense that he wants to overturn the patriarchal idea that power should rule, or that the strongest should rule. Marston sees erotic submission as important not because it puts men down but because submission is actually for him a virtue. Erotic submission is about releasing control to the one you love, for him. So, yes, I think that is opposed to the values patriarchy tells us are important, and I think it has feminist implications, or can have feminist implications when coupled to a belief in women’s power, and women’s right to power, as in Marston’s worldview.”

Let that concept sink in for a moment. Think about just how radically different this is from our Western concept of submission and domination. Some may argue it’s part of human nature. Some may argue it’s a result of Western culture in general, which places such heavy emphasis on individual autonomy and freedom. Is the logic really that twisted though?

Submission, for Marston and for the early incarnation of Wonder Woman, isn’t seen as an act of weakness or defeat. It’s seen as an act of love and respect. We in the Western world have a hard time believing that submission can be anything that someone does willingly and with love. Marston, through Wonder Woman, shows that there can be elements of love and understanding through such acts. It is a concept that routinely plays out with BDSM and one that still remains taboo within our Western culture.

As such, many of these elements are no longer part of Wonder Woman’s mythos. However, some writers are making a concerted effort to revisit these concepts. Earlier this year, famed comic book writer, Grant Morrison, penned Wonder Woman: Earth One. For those of you seeking a version of Wonder Woman different from the movies and more in line with William Marston’s original vision, I highly recommend this book. It goes out of its way to capture that original concept of loving submission, in some cases quite literately.

Morrison stated in an interview with Newsarama that he sought a different approach to telling Wonder Woman’s story. This time, he underplayed the warrior aspect of Wonder Woman and the Amazons. That element is still there, but it’s secondary to the overarching themes of Marston’s ideas about submission and love. As a result, it creates a story that feels as groundbreaking now as it did in 1940.

For the past few decades, Wonder Woman’s BDSM origins have been underplayed or marginalized. However, with BDSM becoming more mainstream, thanks to the success of “50 Shades of Grey,” there may come a time when these radical ideas that are far older than most people think are revisited.

It is still a radical idea, the concept of submission being an act of love. It’s an idea I’m just starting to explore in my own books, particularly “The Big Game.” It’s kind of sobering to know that this idea was being explored seven decades ago and then got swept under the rug. Perhaps that means books like mine are coming out at just the right time as society learns more about these unorthodox, but not-so-radical concepts.

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BDSM Is Good For You?

In the age of the internet, we shouldn’t be too surprised when we come across insights into the human condition that sound so counter-intuitive, but turn out to be true. The mere fact we can fact-check what adults and authority figures tell us is a pretty remarkable, and fairly new, concept that we’re still wrapping our heads around. As a result, it makes for some pretty remarkable insights.

Like did you know that BDSM and kinky sex practices might be good for your mental health? No really. The Journal of Sexual Medicine actually did a study on the impact of BDSM on couples and it turns out, there are elements of it that are beneficial. Go figure.

As someone who writes about BDSM and “non-traditional” sex acts, this makes some bit of sense. It takes a certain amount of mental fortitude and personal strength to practice these kinds of acts and get the most benefit out of them. For those who don’t write about this stuff, it may sound wrong on so many levels, but it’s hard to argue with science.

Here’s a video from the Think Tank channel that nicely breaks it down better than I can. In addition, it also gives me some added insight for my next book, “The Big Game.” When it finally comes out, I hope it shows.

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What Deadpool Teaches Us About Romance

It says a lot about the state of romance in popular culture when Deadpool – yes, Deadpool – is considered the top romance movie of the year. That’s not a joke or some gimmicky marketing ploy. That’s an actual news story from earlier this year. About a month ago, it was widely reported that Deadpool had been the top-selling Blu-Ray in the romance section on Amazon.com. Now why is this a big deal? Well for those of you who aren’t comic book fans, Deadpool isn’t known for romance. He’s known for things like this.

His story is less about romance and more about him being a wise-cracking, overly violent, 4th-wall breaking nutcase with a heart of gold. It’s every bit as insane as it sounds. It’s the exact reason why he’s a cult favorite among comic book fans. The movie that came out earlier this year did everything it could to capture that and did so on a budget less than half of what traditional superhero movies get. Despite so many things working against it, this movie is still one of the biggest successes of 2016. According to Box Office Mojo, it made $782 million on a $53 million budget. Even among non-superhero movies, that’s pretty impressive.

What makes this even more remarkable is how much of the story surrounding Deadpool is crafted around romance. Make no mistake though. Romance with Deadpool is very different from romance with Superman. There is no Lois Lane. There is no sweet and innocent young woman who Deadpool has to change in order to be with. Instead, we get Vanessa.

Who is Vanessa? Well, she’s a stripper/prostitute/girl-with-serious-issues. So naturally, she and Deadpool hit it off beautifully. A good chunk of the movie is dedicated to showing them in all sorts of lurid or seemingly lurid moments that forces one’s dirty imagination to run wild.

Now why is this a big deal? Why is Vanessa different from any other generic comic book interest? Well aside from the fact that she isn’t afraid to get naked in this movie, there’s something remarkable here that may or may not have been intentional.

Go back about 10 years and watch any slasher movie. Who usually dies first? With few exceptions, it’s almost always the overly slutty, overly pretty, overly sassy woman who is too comfortable getting naked and too comfortable being sexual. It’s a twisted form of puritanism, killing off those who are overly promiscuous while often letting the sweet and untainted virgin survive. With Deadpool, they do the opposite.

Vanessa is a sex-positive woman whose sexuality is never the reason for her predicaments in this movie. What happens to her in Deadpool would’ve happened if she had been a virgin nun. Her overt sexuality is never conveyed as a negative quality about her. That’s not to say she didn’t have some twisted character flaws. There are a number of scenes where she makes clear that she wouldn’t last long in any slasher movie. Despite this, she still comes off as lovable and endearing.

For me as a romance/erotica writer, this is pretty remarkable because I rarely see sex-positive female characters portrayed in such a way. Contrast this with Bella Swan in “Twilight” or Anastatisa Steel in “50 Shaes of Grey” and it’s no contest. Vanessa is a better sex-positive female character at her core.

Given the success of movies like Deadpool, I hope this means we’ll see more characters like Vanessa and not just in superhero movies. Pop culture, for a variety of conflicting reasons, remains somewhat weary about female characters who are overtly sexual in a positive way. There’s still this inclination to punish or undermine those who are more sexual than the arbitrary level that society deems appropriate. I like to think that the strides made by society will temper this inclination, but that remains to be seen.

For aspiring writers like me, this is kind of a relief because it means that there is a place for sex-positive female characters in pop culture. One day, I hope to contribute to that culture with my work.

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