Tag Archives: erotica

July 31, 2016 · 7:50 am

The (Unspoken) Benefits of Sexual Promiscuity

A while back, I wrote an post about the lesser-known benefits of BDSM. It’s true. There is actual real-world evidence that BDSM is good for your health. It’s one of those things people automatically assume is deviant and unhealthy. While it’s easy to see why people would think that, the real world tends to never be quite that easy.

So I thought it might be interesting to look at another assumption that most people in the western world have about sexual mores: the impact of sexual promiscuity. Like BDSM, a good chunk of the population has a certain set of assumptions about those who are sexually promiscuous. I could spend 10 blog posts describing them.

Someone is promiscuous? They must have issues at home. They must have horrible self-esteem. They must have been abused or something.

On top of that, there’s an egregious double standard with respect to sexual promiscuity. With men, they’re expected to be promiscuous to some extent. People look at a young man and assume, “That man wants to fuck every girl in his zip code.” It’s not necessarily an accurate assumption. The intensity of the male sex drive is often vastly overestimated, but society tends to structure itself around this assumption because it’s men who seem to commit most of the sexual crimes. It’s true that men do tend to commit more crimes in general, be they sexual or otherwise, but the rate for women is not zero. According to the FBI, women do commit their share of crimes.

That doesn’t stop the blind assumption that women who have a lot of sex must be “damaged” or something. How can anyone want to do something that feels so good and is such a vital part of life and not be damaged? That last sentence was sarcasm by the way. Society has progressed in recent years to see sexually active women differently. Comedian, Amy Shumer, even made a successful movie around it.

Even with this progress, however, there’s still this perception that sexual promiscuity is a bad thing. There’s a good reason for that. There’s even some history behind it. For most of human history, particularly in western land-owning cultures, promiscuity made it difficult to know for sure that your children were yours. If they weren’t, then passing down land and wealth became exceedingly difficult.

Then, there’s the disease factor. For most of human history, we didn’t have effective treatments for various STDs. That made promiscuity legitimately dangerous for many parts of the world, especially those living in cities and slums. However, modern technology has done a lot to change that. Most of the terrible diseases of the past have been wiped out or are easily treated by modern medicine. Some are still incurable, but the progress of modern medicine is still progressing. There will come a day when even those diseases are cured. So our understanding of sexual promiscuity needs to change.

So what is the psychology behind sexual promiscuity? Well, it’s a fairly new field of study to say the least. Research is still developing so the picture isn’t clear, nor should anyone expect it to be. Sexuality and human biology are complex, despite what some in the media would have us believe. What works for some people is not going to work for everyone. Human beings are just too diverse.

That said, Psychology Today did an in depth analysis on the research surrounding sexual promiscuity last year. It’s aptly titled, “What are the Psychological Effects of Casual Sex?” It’s an interesting idea that will definitely undermine some of the things we were taught in sex ed class as teenagers, but it has major implications. One of the most defining quotes of this article is this one:

If casual sexual activity doesn’t violate your moral code, your sense of integrity, or the commitments you have made to yourself and/or others, then it’s probably not going to be a problem for you in terms of your psychological well-being.

This seems to imply that the effects of sexual promiscuity have a lot to do with our assumptions about it. It’s sort of a classic self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think it’ll be harmful, then it’ll be harmful. If you think it’ll be good for you, then it’ll be good for you. Religion, culture, and upbringing all play a role and we’re just starting to understand it. As that understanding evolves, it will likely effect the way we tell stories about sexuality, which will in turn affect my stories. So I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on this topic.

Also, as they did with BDSM, the fine folks at ThinkTank did a video about the possible benefits of casual sex. I value their insight so I’ll let them make their case as well.

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July 25, 2016 · 6:25 am

Anatomy of Doomed Romances

I’ve talked about the right and wrong ways to explore sexuality and BDSM on this blog. I’ve talked about the potential benefits and insights that alternative concepts of sexuality may bring. However, there’s another side of that coin that’s worth talking about and, given that my work involves both erotic and romantic elements, it’s something that needs to be touched on.

A lot of my books have heavy romantic elements. At their core, books like “Skin Deep,” “Child of Orcus,” and even the aptly titled “The Escort and the Gigolo” are love stories. A big part of the story involves two characters coming together in a meaningful way. For the most part, I try to make this journey compelling, as well as sexy. I try to avoid typical Disney cliches. We all know them when we see them. It’s a “love at first sight” or a “forbidden love they can’t have.” Those make for tantalizing possibilities, but do they really make for healthy relationships?

It’s an important question to ask because some of these stories fail to acknowledge the flaws in those relationships. Make no mistake. Those flaws are there. The concept of “love at first sight” is sweet and all, but it’s barely the first step to a meaningful relationship and not taking more steps can undermine both the story and the relationship as a whole.

This isn’t a new issue either. Doomed romances are a big part of literature, going back to the days of the ancients. There’s an undeniable appeal to them, albeit one that reflects a crass understanding of love and meaningful relationships. Paste Magazine even made a list a few years back that highlights some of the most notable. I don’t think their choices will surprise anybody.

8 Epically Doomed Relationships in Literature

That’s one kind of doomed relationship. Most won’t argue the premise. Then, there are the doom relationships explored by Cracked.com in an article that may surprise some. Being a humor website full of dirty jokes, they took a more crass look at certain iconic romances. As is often the case, a crass gaze reveals an unexpected insight.

5 Movie Romances That Won’t Last According To Science

Some of the romances on this list are sure to make a certain subset of fans tense, but sometimes science and reality can be just that harsh. We tend to forget that relationships founded on excessive sacrifice or two people from different words, such as Han Solo and Princess Leia or John Bender and Clair Sandish, have more obstacles to overcome than most. By and large, those obstacles can be pretty detrimental. They’re not impossible to overcome, but the stories rarely explore this. It’s almost always just about how they come together. Then, the credits roll and we’re all left to fill in the blanks.

I understand why that happens. Exploring the intricacies of how relationships blossom and flourish is rarely as interesting as the process of coming together. I’m guilty of that as well in some of my stories. My book, “The Final Communion,” is the best example of that. At the same time, the concept of doomed romances provides an important context to developing romance as a whole. It’s a context I hope to keep in mind as I explore new stories. “The Big Game” doesn’t have heavy romantic elements, but some of the other books I have in mind will. Whatever comes of them, I hope I can show that there is a place for more meaningful romance that won’t feel so doomed in the end.

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July 23, 2016 · 8:43 am

A Nice Little Graphic on BDSM

Earlier this week, I wrote an article about the potential health benefits of BDSM. Later, I found a nice little piece on Cracked.com that sums it up a little better than I can. So if you’re not in the mood to read a whole blog post, just check this out.

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July 22, 2016 · 6:29 am

A Response from Crimson Frost…Sort of

As I’ve been sharing my thoughts on the kinky origins of Wonder Woman and the health benefits to BDSM, I’ve also been waiting to hear back from the folks at Crimson Frost Publishing on the status of my book, “Embers of Eros.” Unlike “The Big Game,” this book has been finished for three years now. I hoped it would become my first non-self published book, thereby opening the doors to new audiences and new opportunities. Since then, I realize I might have been hoping for too much.

For over a year now, I’ve been sending email after email, chatting with editors on the time-frame for the release of this book. It should’ve been out last year, but family issues with one of the editors caused a delay. I understand that completely. Family does come first. However, in that time, I’ve submitted and re-submitted paperwork to Crimson Frost. I’ve heard on multiple occasions that my book is undergoing edits. Despite all this, I’ve seen little to no progress and to date, none of the promises they made me have come to fruition.

So last week, I sent the editor I’ve been working with an email. I basically said to give me a clearer time-frame or I’ll withdraw my manuscript. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to start all over from scratch again. Well yesterday evening, I finally did hear back. It wasn’t much of a response though. It amounted to, “I apologize. We wanted to shoot for an August release, but things came up so we’re pushing it back.”

I want to be understanding. I really do. I’m not an unreasonable man. I’m willing to be patient for a mutually beneficial payoff. However, Crimson Frost is straining even my patience at this point. I sent a response email, which hasn’t been replied to you, that if “Embers of Eros” isn’t released by the end of the year, I’m taking my business elsewhere. I hope that doesn’t happen. I hope Crimson Frost can come through for me. That might be hoping for too much.

In the meantime, I’m holding out hope that the publishers I submitted “The Big Game” to will be a bit more responsive. They understand as well as I do that self-publishing only goes so far. If I want to build an audience for my books, I need help from an agent or a publisher. I was hoping Crimson Frost would be my first. I hope it is, but I’m tempering my expectations accordingly.

In the meantime, I’ll continue to explore new directions for this blog. People seem to be enjoying my discussions about insights into BDSM culture and what not. As I wait for news on publishers, I’ll look for new topics to discuss, but I am hoping that the news I’m waiting for comes soon.

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July 21, 2016 · 6:58 am

Learning From Wonder Woman’s BDSM Origins

This post is a follow-up to the one I did yesterday about Wonder Woman’s Semi-Secret BDSM Origins. I feel a follow-up is necessary because in looking into this issue, it got me thinking about a few concepts that I explore in my recently-completed book, “The Big Game.” While I have explored BDSM concepts in my books, namely in “The Final Communions,” I’ve never really explored the actual merits of these concepts. I think I’ve scratched the surface with “The Big Game” and I hope it inspires more exploration with future projects.

In discussing Wonder Woman’s BDSM origins, I pointed out how her creator, William Marston, had some pretty unusual views about the concept of submission and domination, at least from traditional Western perspective. With Wonder Woman, he frames the act of submission as an act of love and trust. It’s an act someone does willingly to show their respect and love. He sees it as a part of the feminine ideal, the complete antithesis of a patriarchal system where power oppresses for the sake of power.

It’s a powerful and admittedly radical concept, especially in an era where people are less trusting of those in power. The historically low 11-percent approval rating of Congress is proof enough of that. If Marston were alive today, I imagine he’d see this as further indication that patriarchal power structures are inherently corrupt. Too many people in this system seek power as a means to avoid submission to anyone or anything because they believe such submission is a bad thing. In a culture that shames itself over legacies of slavery and oppression of minorities, that’s understandable.

It also presents a unique opportunity to explore alternatives. I think William Marston’s ideas surrounding BDSM, including those highlighted in Wonder Woman’s origin story, offer something unique and different for a jaded population. Think about it a little deeper. Can submission be an act of love? Can domination be an act of love? Can these concepts be done in a way that subverts the kind of patriarchal corruption that Marston criticized?

I say it can and I make that case in “The Big Game.” The setup of the book alone puts it in a perfect position to highlight both systems. The story involves football, the ultimate exercise in masculinity and domination. The men who play this game are conditioned to seek domination over their opponents. Naturally, this is going to skew their idea of submission. Football players, especially those who play beyond pee-wee levels, will be more reluctant than most to entertain this idea.

So what happens when one player who carries himself with these skewed ideas more than most gets a lesson in loving submission? What does it do to him? How does it affect him? Is the effect positive or negative? Can it help him be a better football player?

These are all questions I explore in “The Big Game.” They’re ideas that I hope to flesh out even more in future projects. The act of submission doesn’t have to be cold, cruel, and callous. William Marston used Wonder Woman to frame this act in the opposite context. I use that same context in “The Big Game.” It is possible for submission and domination to convey love and trust. Without those emotional undertones, it becomes the kind of cold, callous act that leads to corruption and abuse.

I think the time is right for these concepts to enter the mainstream. I think the public is more open to alternative ways of thinking than ever before. I’m still waiting for responses from publishers, but I hope “The Big Game” can be part of that.

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July 20, 2016 · 2:37 pm

The BDSM Origins of Wonder Woman

As a longtime comic book fan, I like to think I know a bit more about comic book characters than fans who only know them through the movies. That said, even non-comic book fans probably know who Wonder Woman is. She’s one of the most iconic fictional characters of the last 70 years, ranking right up there with Superman and Batman. Most know her as a badass warrior princess from a secret island run by other badass warrior women. What isn’t quite as well known is that Wonder Woman’s origin is actually closely tied to the world of BDSM.

It’s true. That’s not just some twisted interpretation of early comics talking. It’s well-documented that Wonder Woman’s creator, William Marston, had some rather unconventional views about sex, gender, and feminism. In some respects, he was ahead of his time. In others, he just represented an alternative voice at a time when it was hard for those voices to be heard.

So how exactly does BDSM fit into Wonder Woman’s origin? Well first and foremost, it’s important to note that most of these origins have been ignored, undone, or nullified in some elaborate way within the modern comics. Pick up a Wonder Woman comic today and you won’t find many signs of BDSM or radical feminist undertones. You’ll see a woman being a badass warrior fighting monsters, aliens, and super-villains. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, it does underscore the vision of Wonder Woman’s creator.

So what exactly is that vision? Well, Vice.com did an article last year with Noah Berlatsky, who wrote a book about Wonder Woman entitled, “Wonder Woman: Bondage and Feminism in Marston/Peter Comics.” If you’re at all interested in Wonder Woman or older concepts of BDSM, I highly recommend it. In this book, Berlatsky says:

“But Marston has a real feminist agenda, I think, not just in the sense that he wants to put women in power, but in the sense that he wants to overturn the patriarchal idea that power should rule, or that the strongest should rule. Marston sees erotic submission as important not because it puts men down but because submission is actually for him a virtue. Erotic submission is about releasing control to the one you love, for him. So, yes, I think that is opposed to the values patriarchy tells us are important, and I think it has feminist implications, or can have feminist implications when coupled to a belief in women’s power, and women’s right to power, as in Marston’s worldview.”

Let that concept sink in for a moment. Think about just how radically different this is from our Western concept of submission and domination. Some may argue it’s part of human nature. Some may argue it’s a result of Western culture in general, which places such heavy emphasis on individual autonomy and freedom. Is the logic really that twisted though?

Submission, for Marston and for the early incarnation of Wonder Woman, isn’t seen as an act of weakness or defeat. It’s seen as an act of love and respect. We in the Western world have a hard time believing that submission can be anything that someone does willingly and with love. Marston, through Wonder Woman, shows that there can be elements of love and understanding through such acts. It is a concept that routinely plays out with BDSM and one that still remains taboo within our Western culture.

As such, many of these elements are no longer part of Wonder Woman’s mythos. However, some writers are making a concerted effort to revisit these concepts. Earlier this year, famed comic book writer, Grant Morrison, penned Wonder Woman: Earth One. For those of you seeking a version of Wonder Woman different from the movies and more in line with William Marston’s original vision, I highly recommend this book. It goes out of its way to capture that original concept of loving submission, in some cases quite literately.

Morrison stated in an interview with Newsarama that he sought a different approach to telling Wonder Woman’s story. This time, he underplayed the warrior aspect of Wonder Woman and the Amazons. That element is still there, but it’s secondary to the overarching themes of Marston’s ideas about submission and love. As a result, it creates a story that feels as groundbreaking now as it did in 1940.

For the past few decades, Wonder Woman’s BDSM origins have been underplayed or marginalized. However, with BDSM becoming more mainstream, thanks to the success of “50 Shades of Grey,” there may come a time when these radical ideas that are far older than most people think are revisited.

It is still a radical idea, the concept of submission being an act of love. It’s an idea I’m just starting to explore in my own books, particularly “The Big Game.” It’s kind of sobering to know that this idea was being explored seven decades ago and then got swept under the rug. Perhaps that means books like mine are coming out at just the right time as society learns more about these unorthodox, but not-so-radical concepts.

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July 19, 2016 · 6:50 am

BDSM Is Good For You?

In the age of the internet, we shouldn’t be too surprised when we come across insights into the human condition that sound so counter-intuitive, but turn out to be true. The mere fact we can fact-check what adults and authority figures tell us is a pretty remarkable, and fairly new, concept that we’re still wrapping our heads around. As a result, it makes for some pretty remarkable insights.

Like did you know that BDSM and kinky sex practices might be good for your mental health? No really. The Journal of Sexual Medicine actually did a study on the impact of BDSM on couples and it turns out, there are elements of it that are beneficial. Go figure.

As someone who writes about BDSM and “non-traditional” sex acts, this makes some bit of sense. It takes a certain amount of mental fortitude and personal strength to practice these kinds of acts and get the most benefit out of them. For those who don’t write about this stuff, it may sound wrong on so many levels, but it’s hard to argue with science.

Here’s a video from the Think Tank channel that nicely breaks it down better than I can. In addition, it also gives me some added insight for my next book, “The Big Game.” When it finally comes out, I hope it shows.

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July 18, 2016 · 6:25 am

What Deadpool Teaches Us About Romance

It says a lot about the state of romance in popular culture when Deadpool – yes, Deadpool – is considered the top romance movie of the year. That’s not a joke or some gimmicky marketing ploy. That’s an actual news story from earlier this year. About a month ago, it was widely reported that Deadpool had been the top-selling Blu-Ray in the romance section on Amazon.com. Now why is this a big deal? Well for those of you who aren’t comic book fans, Deadpool isn’t known for romance. He’s known for things like this.

His story is less about romance and more about him being a wise-cracking, overly violent, 4th-wall breaking nutcase with a heart of gold. It’s every bit as insane as it sounds. It’s the exact reason why he’s a cult favorite among comic book fans. The movie that came out earlier this year did everything it could to capture that and did so on a budget less than half of what traditional superhero movies get. Despite so many things working against it, this movie is still one of the biggest successes of 2016. According to Box Office Mojo, it made $782 million on a $53 million budget. Even among non-superhero movies, that’s pretty impressive.

What makes this even more remarkable is how much of the story surrounding Deadpool is crafted around romance. Make no mistake though. Romance with Deadpool is very different from romance with Superman. There is no Lois Lane. There is no sweet and innocent young woman who Deadpool has to change in order to be with. Instead, we get Vanessa.

Who is Vanessa? Well, she’s a stripper/prostitute/girl-with-serious-issues. So naturally, she and Deadpool hit it off beautifully. A good chunk of the movie is dedicated to showing them in all sorts of lurid or seemingly lurid moments that forces one’s dirty imagination to run wild.

Now why is this a big deal? Why is Vanessa different from any other generic comic book interest? Well aside from the fact that she isn’t afraid to get naked in this movie, there’s something remarkable here that may or may not have been intentional.

Go back about 10 years and watch any slasher movie. Who usually dies first? With few exceptions, it’s almost always the overly slutty, overly pretty, overly sassy woman who is too comfortable getting naked and too comfortable being sexual. It’s a twisted form of puritanism, killing off those who are overly promiscuous while often letting the sweet and untainted virgin survive. With Deadpool, they do the opposite.

Vanessa is a sex-positive woman whose sexuality is never the reason for her predicaments in this movie. What happens to her in Deadpool would’ve happened if she had been a virgin nun. Her overt sexuality is never conveyed as a negative quality about her. That’s not to say she didn’t have some twisted character flaws. There are a number of scenes where she makes clear that she wouldn’t last long in any slasher movie. Despite this, she still comes off as lovable and endearing.

For me as a romance/erotica writer, this is pretty remarkable because I rarely see sex-positive female characters portrayed in such a way. Contrast this with Bella Swan in “Twilight” or Anastatisa Steel in “50 Shaes of Grey” and it’s no contest. Vanessa is a better sex-positive female character at her core.

Given the success of movies like Deadpool, I hope this means we’ll see more characters like Vanessa and not just in superhero movies. Pop culture, for a variety of conflicting reasons, remains somewhat weary about female characters who are overtly sexual in a positive way. There’s still this inclination to punish or undermine those who are more sexual than the arbitrary level that society deems appropriate. I like to think that the strides made by society will temper this inclination, but that remains to be seen.

For aspiring writers like me, this is kind of a relief because it means that there is a place for sex-positive female characters in pop culture. One day, I hope to contribute to that culture with my work.

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July 14, 2016 · 6:21 am

My Next Project: A Sci-Fi Erotic Thriller?

As I wait for a response on “The Big Game,” I’m already hard at work contemplating my next project. It’s a big part of the process I’ve developed over the years. No work is ever truly definitive. You can’t treat a book or series as though it’s your masterpiece and it’s going to make you the next Tolken. You have to be ready and willing to develop more ideas. More importantly, you have to be willing to develop new ideas. That’s what I hope to do with this next project.

Recent projects like “The Big Game” and “Jackpot” focus heavily on romance and erotica. I started these projects with a certain, focused theme in mind and built the story around that. However, lately I’ve felt the need to mix things up a bit. Maybe it’s just a result of having seen one too many summer blockbusters, but I want to add a little excitement to my work. I want to get peoples’ hearts racing for entirely different reasons.

I have written books with that concept before. “Skin Deep” is, at its core, an thriller with heavy erotic elements. It had romance and erotica, but those elements are built around an adventure and a conflict. Granted, it’s not the kind of conflict you’ll see outside of a late-night movie on Cinemax, but it’s a type of conflict I think deserves exploring.

So for my next project, which is currently untitled, I’m going to take a stab at another erotic thriller. Moreover, I want it to be a thriller with some sci-fi elements mixed in with the erotica. It may sound like a strange combination, but make no mistake. There is erotic potential in sci-fi. Just search the web and note all the erotic fan fiction about Captain Kirk and Spock. This project isn’t going to be quite like that, but I will try to use sci-fi elements in a new way.

I think the timing for something like this is right. Not long ago, the market was saturated with romance and erotica surrounding  supernatural creatures like vampires and werewolves. It still is to some extent, but I think the time is right to mix things up. Like every fading trend, it takes something new and innovative to start a new wave. I’m not going to pretend like this next project will be revolutionary, but I hope to make it part of such a trend.

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July 12, 2016 · 6:39 am

Manuscript Completed: The Big Game

Hope everyone enjoyed my free give-away for “Child of Orcus.” I don’t know if I’ll do another promotion down the line. It depends on how things with my latest project pans out. That project, I’m happy to say, is finally complete! Yes, I have completed yet another book and I’m ready to make it official.

Earlier this spring, I teased (and hopefully tantalized) the theme of my latest book. When I came up with it, I did so with one major theme in mind. I wanted to combine my love of sports with my love of erotica. I feel it’s a potent combination and one that isn’t often explored in this era of vampire lovers and wealthy BDSM enthusiasts. With the baseball season in full swing, the football season just around the corner, and the Olympics almost upon us, I think the time is right for this potent combination to shine. For that reason, I’m proud to announce, “The Big Game.”

Imagine, for a moment, all the pressure and stress that a star athlete must endure. In our culture, we see it all the time. Athletes, some of them teenagers, are burdened with all the hopes and dreams of an entire team, if not an entire community. They get a taste of fame and stardom before they’ve even had a chance to learn how to handle such pressure. It’s a lot to ask of anyone, even an athlete.

Add into the mix the innate attraction to star athletes and the pressure is even greater. It’s no great secret. Athletes attract women. Sometimes, those women go to elaborate lengths to hook up with these athletes and not always for the right reasons. Some aren’t even subtle about it. There are stories everywhere like this one that depict just how much sordid attention an athlete can get.

This is the world that David Daniels finds himself in with, “The Big Game.” He’s the star quarterback of the River Valley Riders in a small Texas town where football is king. It’s not unlike many Texas towns. What we see in “Friday Night Lights” is just a small part of a much larger story. David knows this better than most because he’s got the biggest game of his life coming up, but he’s a total wreck.

Being a star athlete, he knows the kind of attention he gets. He experiences the pressure, the temptation, and the potential pitfalls every day. As such, he struggles to control his world. Being a teenager, that control only goes so far. That struggle only escalates at the big game approaches. His coach senses this and sets him up with someone who can help him, namely his beautiful college-aged daughter, Gloria Gibson. What she teaches him and what he learns about control will have a lasting impact during the big game and beyond.

This is a story I hope appeals to both erotica fans and sports fans. It’s a story that shows a young man learning from a strong older woman what it really means to be in control. What kind of control does this mean? Well some BDSM fans have probably already figured that out. Others will just have to wait and see.

As of now, the book is complete and edited. Before I self-publish it though, I’m going to make a concerted effort to get a publisher on my side. I’ve done this with almost every one of my books, but I’ve yet to receive an offer that followed through. I’m STILL waiting for a response from Crimson Frost. I’m not sure how extensive I’ll be with “The Big Game.” I’m going to focus primarily on smaller erotica publishers and BDSM imprints. Some might be longer shots than others, but I’m going to try. If I don’t get any offers, I’ll self-publish again and try my luck with another book. For now, here’s to hoping that “The Big Game” is a winner.

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