“The Big Game” Rejection Follow-Up

I know I said I’d get back to writing sexier, less depressing posts on this blog. I still intend to do that, hopefully today at some point. Just thought I’d follow up on my post yesterday about the rejection email I got for, “The Big Game.”

As I often do after I get a rejection letter, I send a response to the publisher thanking them for their consideration. It’s just professional courtesy. I also ask for an explanation as to why they determined that my story wasn’t viable. I almost never get a response back. If they do respond, it’s usually something along the line of, “We just feel it isn’t right for us at this time.”

That doesn’t tell me much and it doesn’t give me any chance at improving. I understand they probably get a lot of manuscripts every day, but the quality of the content can’t improve unless there’s feedback. If I’m not doing something right, I like to know what it is so I can fix it. I am that committed to becoming a published author.

So it came as somewhat of a surprise when the publisher sent a more detailed response. I won’t reveal the name of the publisher. Again, it’s out of professional courtesy because I don’t want to slander anybody for doing their job. This is just what they sent.

The fact that the book includes substantial amounts of both F/M and M/F content is probably going to make it somewhat difficult to find a publisher for it.  There are some authors who publish books with F/M themes, but in most cases they don’t sell nearly as well as books in which the core relationship is M/F.  I wish I could be more helpful, but there isn’t a publisher with which I’m familiar that would be a particularly good fit for this book.  That doesn’t mean one doesn’t exist, of course, and I just haven’t heard of it.

This is somewhat revealing to me because I didn’t know that a book had to stick to one kind of BDSM. It’s true that “The Big Game” explores multiple sides of BDSM plots. It’s not just about one character dominating another. Both characters get a chance to exercise dominance. I did this on purpose because I wanted to explore the full range of BDSM experiences from different perspectives. I felt that would make the story more comprehensive and appealing to a wider audience.

Perhaps I overestimated the extent to which BDSM novels occupy a certain niche in the market. Perhaps this particular publisher wasn’t looking for a larger, more encompassing story and wanted something more focused. I can understand that. “The Big Game” isn’t focused in the sense that it has one particular type of BDSM. It’s a different kind of story and I hoped, in a way that may have been misguided, that broadening the story would make it more appealing to publishers. I suppose I was wrong.

I’m not sure what this means for the long-term viability of “The Big Game.” I still believe that it can tap into a BDSM market that’s ripe for something new. There are so many novels out there that focus solely on one approach to BDSM in a story. There’s a place for those stories, but I think the growing trend in pop culture is towards more equal power dynamics.

I think the public is more eager to see two characters on an equal playing field, both romantically and sexually. There’s still a place for classic dominant/submission roles, but there’s also a place for new dynamics. I want “The Big Game” to be part of it. Unfortunately, it seems my chances exploring these dynamics with a publisher are a bit larger than I thought. I’ll still keep rolling the dice though. If nothing else, it’ll give me some better insight into writing BDSM stories in the future.

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“The Big Game” Update – REJECTED

I wasn’t going to post anything today. I’m still recovering from a long week of traveling. I’m also working on a post exploring something I hinted at earlier this month, but I think this is worth mentioning, if only to provide an overdue update of sorts.

About a month ago, I completed my manuscript for my new BDSM-heavy story, “The Big Game.” I felt confident about this because it’s a simple, concise BDSM story that can give BDSM fans exactly what they want. I submitted it to two publishers that specialize in BDSM erotica. I thought I did enough to warrant at least a discussion. Turns out, I was wrong.

Of the two publishers I submitted to, one responded and sadly, it was a rejection letter. They didn’t provide specifics. They just said they discussed this manuscript and decided it wasn’t for them. It’s a major disappointment. Then again, this is the most typical response I’ve gotten from my work thus far. I like to think I’m used to rejection, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.

As a result, I looked up a couple other BDSM and/or erotica publishers and submitted to them as well. It’ll probably take a while for them to get back to me, but I’m still going to roll the dice on “The Big Game” before I resort to self-publishing again. I’ll keep my fingers, toes, and whatever other body parts I can manage crossed in hopes that someone takes a chance on me. With Crimson Frost still not responding, I’m still in search of my first break. I believe it’ll come. It just may take a while.

When you think about it, it’s kind of like a great orgasm. You have to build towards it, but it’s so worth the wait.

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End of my New York City Trip

Well, my vacation is just about over. This morning, I’m leaving New York City and heading home. Overall, I had a great time here. I saw some amazing sites. I saw some sexy sights. I saw some amazingly disturbing, albeit still strangely sexy sights. I’d say that makes for a successful vacation. While I feel like I saw crazier things in New Orleans, which I visited last year, I still enjoyed the unique craziness that New York has to offer. I didn’t get to experience everything I hoped, but one day (hopefully after I’ve gotten a successful publishing deal) I’ll come back and explore even more of this amazing city.

I didn’t get a chance to hook up or chat with those who share my love of romance, erotica, and everything in between. I did meet some colorful characters though. I even met one guy selling his own erotic novel from a stand just outside of Times Square. Perhaps that’s something I can try? Might be a thought for the future. I also noticed that I was not quite equipped to impress women (or men) at some of the clubs I visited. I think I dressed too casually. Maybe next time, I should invest a little more into my attire. I don’t think anyone finds overly casual out-of-towers to be all that attractive. Well, you live and you learn.

So thank you, New York! I had a great time. I didn’t really have much time to work on any of my writing. However, I do hope to catch up later this week. I still haven’t heard from any publishers on my book, “The Big Game,” just yet either. I don’t know when I should inquire again, but I’m holding out hope that someone will take a chance on me. That’ll make trips like this all the more enjoyable.

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Some Sexy Sights In New York City

Just thought I’d post a quick update on my New York City trip. I’ve been walking around, admiring the sites in the Big Apple. I’ve had a lot of fun so far. I’ve also seen some pretty twisted sites. Where else are you going to see a strip club next to a CVS? However, the strangest (and sexiest) sight of all happened last night.

I was browsing Times Square around midnight, as a lot of people are want to do apparently. There are some pretty amazing things that go on in the wee hours of the night. There are street performances, shows, and blaring lights in every direction. It’s pretty amazing. However, the sight that stood out most for me were these topless women in underwear with American flags painted over their breasts. I don’t know what they were advertising. I don’t know what they were selling. I just know they made me proud to be an American.

Now I’ve seen plenty of breasts before. The fact that there are topless women in the middle of summer in New York City is not a surprise. What made it really stand out was the fact that less than 15 feet away, there was one of those street preachers yelling about Jesus through a bullhorn. Oddly enough, he wasn’t really talking about topless women. He was just doing the typical fire and brimstone speech, telling us all how we’re evil sinners. The topless women just didn’t seem relevant. Go figure.

On top of this, there were children out with their parents at this hour. Yes, children did see topless women. No, they were NOT scarred for life. I know it’s New York. I know it’s a big city with a lot of colorful characters. I just feel as though whenever someone claims that topless women will harm children, I feel as though they’re not giving children enough credit. For this valuable lesson, I thank NYC.

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Hello From NYC!


Greetings from New York! Been having a great time here thus far. Seen some amazing sights. Even saw some very sexy sights that I dare not describe. Hope to see more. Hope it inspires new books. Of the greatness of a city is measured by its sexiness, then New York is pretty damn great! 

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Quick Vacation Message

Just thought I’d make a quick announcement to the precious few regulars of this blog. For the next several days, I’ll be on vacation. I’m heading up to New York City to have some fun and meet up with some family. So aside from a few SFW pictures, I won’t be posting much on this blog. I’m hoping that a nice vacation will give me a few sexy topics for posts or books.

So I guess I’ll be back in a few days. Also, if you’re a literary agent or publisher in New York who wants to talk business, call me!

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A Sexy Thought Experiment

Here’s a sexy thought that anyone can do comfortably clothed. It’s a thought I think everyone has to some degree once they start contemplating their sexuality. I imagine it’s a thought parents have as they watch their children approach sexual maturity, albeit with silent horror. It’s not a kind of thinking that matches up with reality just yet, but it has the potential to be so it’s worth contemplating. So here it is:

What will happen to our understanding of sex if we’re able to remove all its known consequences?

Admit it. This thought has intrigued/troubled you to some extent. It’s a thought that I think people have entertained throughout human history. What would it be like to live in a world where nobody has to worry about getting pregnant or getting some terrible disease when they have sex? Would it be like nearly every bad porno we’ve ever seen? Would society implode, like some social conservatives claim? Would our understanding of marriage, love, and relationships remain intact?

These are all intriguing/distressing questions. How much of our sexual expression is restrained or shaped by our understanding of these consequences? If tomorrow morning, someone announces they’ve cured every infectious disease and created the perfect birth control product, what would change? Would people have more sex? Would they have riskier, more elaborate forms of sex? Would they have sex in ways that even aspiring erotica writers cannot contemplate? It’s hard to say, but it is worth contemplating because this is the 21st century. These are no longer entirely empty questions.

To provide some perspective, it wasn’t until recently that science has advanced to a point where people can control the consequences of sex. When it comes to birth control, the most common method of birth control throughout human history was simply pulling out. That didn’t always work because human beings can’t always be expected to exercise such discipline. It wasn’t until 1957 when the FDA approved the first birth control pill, giving women a genuine medical mechanism for controlling when they became pregnant. It wasn’t perfect. It did have side-effects, but it was a major advance.

There are more advances on the horizon. Today, the options for birth control are varied and becoming more varied with every year. Methods like IUDs (intrauterine devices) provide some of the most effective, reliable forms of contraception on the market today. Since there has always been demand for women to control their fertility, basic economics ensure that even more effective methods will emerge in the future.

Then, there are diseases, the ultimate libido killer. For most of human history, society was at the mercy of these diseases. Encouraging restraint had a real, legitimate purpose because many of these diseases could kill you. You didn’t even need religious zealots telling you that promiscuity was dangerous. These diseases were everywhere and pretty scary. They could actually kill you if left untreated.

As with birth control, it wasn’t until the 20th century that we gained an actual medical method of fighting these diseases. Enter antibiotics, courtesy of Alexander Flemming and the advent of penicillin. For the first time, we had a way to treat these terrible, life-threatening diseases. It’s gotten to a point where a few shots and a round of pills will cure most people of the diseases that ravaged ancient societies.

From a medical standpoint, sex has never been cleaner, so to speak. There are still dangerous diseases out there. However, only one disease, AIDS, is definitively deadly and even that condition has become more manageable over the past decade, so much so that it’s no longer the death sentence it once was. Other diseases can be debilitating, but modern science continues to advance. It’s advancing to a point where we may very well enter an era where every infectious disease is either curable, treatable, or completely preventable.

It’s a promising world, one where suffering and hardship are significantly reduced. Our world is already so much safer and healthier than it has been in the past. People today have more freedom to safely explore their sexuality than ever before. However, a lot of our sex education classes basically amount to this.

It’s a sign that, despite all these amazing advanced, certain parts of society are reluctant to embrace this world. They see these advances and worry that their children will live in a world where recklessness has no consequences. That, or they’re jealous that they’re too old to enjoy that world. It may be a combination of the two.

As I said before, for most of human history, there was a legitimate reason for people to exercise restraint in their sexual expression. However, society has tacked on a lot of other reasons that medical science can’t sure.

Religion and culture have ascribed this arbitrary “holiness” to chastity that has no basis in reality. These same forces hijack the human capacity for guilt and shame to scold those who dare explore their sexuality in ways that society deems inappropriate. This is a major theme in my book, “The Final Communion.” It offers an extreme example of what this kind of sentiment can do to people.

While religion and culture will continue to fight ardently to preserve their current state, we can take comfort in the knowledge that they tend to fail miserably in the long run. No matter how many obstacles or consequences are ascribed to sexual expression, be they legitimate or not, the drive to express these feelings remains strong. It’s one of the most powerful forces in nature. For that reason, it’s impossible to know for sure how society will change.

With all this context in mind, I’ll rephrase the thought experiment. Flash forward to some arbitrary point in the future. In that future, birth control is easy and accessible to everyone. In order to ensure that nobody need suffer the consequences, men and women are given injections around puberty that provide 100 percent effective contraception. In terms of disease, there are now special smart-drugs that can target or prevent any major or minor disease with perfect efficiency.

Now, an entire generation can grow up in a world where they never have to worry about the consequences of sex and they can explore it freely and openly. What kind of society will this generation create? We may not get there in our lifetime, but it will manifest at some point. It’s an important question to ask and one that I hope to explore in future books.

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Trends in Sexual Activity: Why Are People Having Less Sex?

We hear it all the time. Older generations complain constantly that young people are out of control. They’re too deviant. They’re too rebellious. They’re out there in the streets, running around naked, worshiping demons, and having sex like jackrabbits on crack.

Talk to anyone over the age of 45 and they’ll probably tell you that young people these days are more deviant than their generation. They’ll say young people are detached, distant, and selfish. They’re more concerned about texting on their phones than spending time with family, working on the farm, or volunteering at their church. Is there some merit to their criticism? Yes. Is their sentiment valid? No. In fact, it may be the opposite.

Last week, the Washington Post did an article highlighting the trends in sexual activity among Millennials. Some of these trends don’t fit the whining and complaining that older generations bemoan. It turns out, young people today are having significantly less sex than Baby Boomers or the Gen X crowd. The portion of youth that remains sexually inactive has more than doubled over the past 30 years. That’s a pretty big shift and nobody really knows why.

There are some theories. The article highlights concerns about sexually transmitted diseases, which grew significantly in the 80s and 90s. However, that alone doesn’t account for the data. Others suggest that the easier availability of porn, thanks largely to the internet, has made it easier for people to fulfill their needs without a partner. This is probably only partially true at best. Anyone who lived before the age of the internet will tell you that even without porn, they found ways to get off. They may not tell you before a few drinks, but it is true. People still masturbated before the internet.

I’m not a scientist. I don’t have any expertise in this area other than writing books centered around sexy themes. That said, I have learned through my many years of hearing people complain about sexual trends to notice a few themes.

Anything that’s happening in the sexual landscape of a culture basically becomes this big ink blot test. People are having more sex? This must be due to some perverse religious trend, some devious new form of media, or some widespread rebellion against authority. People are having less sex? This must also be due to some perverse religious trend, some devious new form of media, or some widespread rebellion against authority. People see this and use it to inject whatever conclusion they feel fits their agenda. They do the same with politics, religion, and tastes in fast food.

So what do I think? Well, I think like most things involving the complexities of human society, trends in sex have multiple influences. It’s not just smartphones, media, or diseases alone that affect these trends. It’s a combination of many forces, some more powerful than others. So if I had to give more weight to one force in particular, I’d favor the one that tends to govern most human affairs to a significant degree: economics.

Let’s face it. Sex and being in a relationship is expensive. Men and women expect a lot more these days and not just in terms of fancy dates. Between the cost of divorce and the conflicting expectations, getting sex requires a lot of time and energy. In an era where young people have to work a lot harder to achieve the same level of financial stability of their parents, there’s just not as much to dedicate to sex.

It’s not a very sexy explanation. I admit that. People are having less sex because they can’t find good jobs or are shackled with too much debt? That’s not a satisfying explanation and it doesn’t lend itself to a simple solution. People like things that are satisfying. Ironically, it’s kind of like sex. If it isn’t satisfying, they look elsewhere. In this case, however, what isn’t satisfying may also be valid.

Money does affect relationships in a major way. According to the Walls Street Journal, millenials in particular are shackled with a lot of debt, mostly from college loans. Few things kill your sex drive more than the knowledge that you can’t pay your bills and barely have enough money to survive. In terms of our basic needs, survival does take priority over orgasms most of the time.

Is it the only explanation? No. I don’t claim that this is the sole explanation for the decline in sexual activity among young people. There are likely other factors in play, such as changes in feminism and growing awareness of sexual assault. It’s hard to quantify just how much those factors affect the results. It may even be impossible in some ways.

Be this as it may, the success of the porn industry and the continued success of erotica give me hope that people of all generations still have a healthy libido. I hope to nurture it with my books. In the meantime, here’s an insightful video from Think Tank that explores this issue in greater detail. Their explanations are probably only part of the story though. What do you think is causing young people to have less sex? Nobody knows for sure, but that won’t stop plenty from speculating.

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Sex, Drugs, and their Effects

Sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll are a big part of popular culture, but what happens when you take away the rock n’ roll part? Despite what the Nixon administration, D.A.R.E., and every after-school special ever made would have us believe, human beings have used drugs in some form or another to enhance some part of their lives. Naturally, one of biggest parts we use it for is sex.

I’m not just talking about the drugs rock stars do with groupies. In 2015 alone, the drug company, Pfizer, made $1.708 billion in revenue from Viagra alone. So yes, sex sells and it’s a multi-billion dollar industry. So rock n’ roll really isn’t necessary for this potent combination to fly and no matter what drug warriors do, economics will keep this potent combination in business.

As we speak, these same billion-dollar companies are trying to make a Viagra for women as well. Like the female orgasm, however, it’s not quite as simple as getting blood to flow to the genitals. The greater difficulty women have in achieving orgasm, not to mention differences in evolutionary function that I’ve touched on before, make crafting such a drug a challenge. That hasn’t kept people from trying though.

Again, there are billions of dollars at stake. There’s too much incentive to give people drugs that enhance their sex life. At the moment, the only “female Viagra” that has this potential is called Flibanserin. It’s not quite an orgasm in a pill just yet, but it’s a vital first step and we can expect more like it in the coming years.

So why bring up sex and drugs? Well, it plays into some of the other issues I’ve talked about regarding ways that technology is changing sex. History shows that any advance, be it the advent of the latex condom or the birth control pill, is going to change attitudes about sex and the ways in which humans relate to one another. With the pace of technological change advancing at a rate that’s hard to keep up with, it’s difficult to imagine what kind of changes we’ll see.

These changes aren’t like trends in computers and smartphones either. Advances in drugs don’t always follow a simple pattern in terms of how they effect sex. There are drugs that negatively affect our sex drive, many of which are available at any drug store or with a prescription. The same goes for illicit drugs. Contrary to popular belief, alcohol isn’t an aphrodisiac. It can actually hinder sexual function. It’s only associated with sex because it removes inhibitions, thereby making people more open to sexual encounters.

The interplay between sex and other drugs, illicit and otherwise, is extremely complex and too much for a single blog post. It’s also unresolved because, despite mixing sex and drugs for years, we still don’t know everything about the way the two interact. Last year, Vice did a thorough report on how different drugs effect sex during their investigation into “Chemsex,” a topic I’ll cover in another blog post. You can read the article here:

Vice: This is your Sex on Drugs

There’s a lot in this article to examine. Drugs and their effects on the human body are complex and varied. At the moment, there’s no single drug that enhances sex for everybody in every instance. This quote from the article sums it up nicely:

Given how long—and often—humans have mixed drugs and sex, you’d think we’d understand the two pretty well by now. But as Johnson—who runs clinical trials testing narcotics’ effects on human behavior—can attest, drugs affect us all a little differently. Some have a direct pharmacological impact on the way we experience the world, while others affect our brains so dramatically that their impact on sex is a total crapshoot.

So as it stands, the interplay between sex and drugs is extremely varied and unpredictable. That unpredictability can make for interesting stories. At the moment, I’m throwing around a few ideas that explore this unpredictability. However, it’s the future of sex and drugs that I’m most interested in.

Every year, more and more drugs are emerging, legal and illegal alike. If there’s a way to mix these drugs with sex, people will find it and they will exploit it to the utmost. It may improve our sexual experiences. It may hinder them. One day, we may be able to control that. What kind of society will that create? How will that affect the way we relate to one another? Those are all important questions, but they’re best addressed in future blog posts.

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The Evolutionary Origin of the Female Orgasm

Last week, one particular story flew under the radar. I suspect a lot of stories will do that in the midst of a Presidential Election/Political Sideshow. However, being an aspiring writer who focuses on erotica, sex, and intimate romance, these sorts of stories do catch my attention. They also give me something new to think about as I’m developing my stories.

Believe it or not, there’s an ongoing struggle in the scientific world and it has to do with the female orgasm. Yes, the same science that gives is iPhones, rockets, and crazy glue still can’t decipher the female orgasm. Why is it a mystery? Well, evolutionary speaking, we don’t know why the hell it’s there.

Granted, we’re grateful for the joys of orgasms, male and female alike. I’ve already written about the numerous health benefits that come with orgasms so it’s not like nature isn’t aware of them to some degree. Nature tends to make use of something, regardless of how it came to be. That’s the thing though. From an evolutionary standpoint, we really don’t know how the female orgasm came to be or what purpose it serves.

Human physiology is pretty damn remarkable compared to other primates. In most primates, what science defines as an orgasm plays a part in reproductive success. A male’s orgasm is accompanied by the release of sperm. A female orgasm is accompanied by ovulation. It makes perfect evolutionary sense. A species that experiences orgasm in accord with reproductive behaviors is definitely going to have the right incentive to propagate.

Humans are different though. While the male orgasm is still associated with the release of sexual fluids vital for reproduction, the female orgasm offers no such benefit. A woman need not have an orgasm in order to reproduce. Ideally, it’s just a happy byproduct. Since nature favors survival over meaningless fun though, it still doesn’t explain why the female orgasm is still there. Now, a study published in July 2016 in the Journal of Experimental Zoology offers a potential explanation. Here’s the abstract:

The evolutionary explanation of female orgasm has been difficult to come by. The orgasm in women does not obviously contribute to the reproductive success, and surprisingly unreliably accompanies heterosexual intercourse. Two types of explanations have been proposed: one insisting on extant adaptive roles in reproduction, another explaining female orgasm as a byproduct of selection on male orgasm, which is crucial for sperm transfer. We emphasize that these explanations tend to focus on evidence from human biology and thus address the modification of a trait rather than its evolutionary origin. To trace the trait through evolution requires identifying its homologue in other species, which may have limited similarity with the human trait. Human female orgasm is associated with an endocrine surge similar to the copulatory surges in species with induced ovulation. We suggest that the homolog of human orgasm is the reflex that, ancestrally, induced ovulation. This reflex became superfluous with the evolution of spontaneous ovulation, potentially freeing female orgasm for other roles. This is supported by phylogenetic evidence showing that induced ovulation is ancestral, while spontaneous ovulation is derived within eutherians. In addition, the comparative anatomy of female reproductive tract shows that evolution of spontaneous ovulation is correlated with increasing distance of clitoris from the copulatory canal. In summary, we suggest that the female orgasm-like trait may have been adaptive, however for a different role, namely for inducing ovulation. With the evolution of spontaneous ovulation, orgasm was freed to gain secondary roles, which may explain its maintenance, but not its origin.

There are some telling words within the science jargon, namely the concept of the female orgasm being unreliable during sexual intercourse. I doubt women need science to prove this to them. However, that unreliability may be a big reason why orgasms developed into other uses. The study calls it “adaptive,” something that tends to happen a lot in evolution. If a trait ceases to have one use, it can develop another. That’s how land mammals develop into whales. This kind of adaptation, however, is much sexier.

It’s that adaptation part that helped make human beings the extremely social, uniquely passionate creatures that they are. If orgasms no longer have solely reproductive roles, then it can develop other roles within our species. Those roles include romantic roles. An orgasm doesn’t have to involve reproduction. It can involve love, the bonding of two individuals to create a more cohesive society. It’s that cohesion that helps make humans the dominant species of the planet. A bear may be physically stronger than any human, but humans can coordinate better to take them down. Orgasms are just part of that process.

Now it’s not like we need more reasons to celebrate orgasms, male and female alike, but it is nice to know that they did play a role in the success of our species. Success, on any level, is worth celebrating and orgasms give us plenty of ways to celebrate.

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