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Why I’m Excited About Apple’s Vision Pro (But Won’t Buy One Just Yet)

Henry Ford did not invent the car, but he did create a model that made the car affordable, useful, and accessible to the masses. He was also despicable racist and bigot, but that’s neither here nor there.

Nintendo didn’t create the first gaming console, but they did create a model that made gaming fun, endearing, and accessible to the masses. Now, they’re so successful that they can make a billion dollar movie as a side-project.

I make this point because technology and the products created from it don’t always become successful by their creators. Sometimes, an advancement is just not adequately refined, poorly marketed, or just too ahead of its time. We can never truly know if some new technology is ready for the mainstream until we have the benefit of hindsight.

With all this in mind, I’m still comfortable saying with confidence that Apple’s recently announced Apple Vision Pro will be a game-changer on so many levels. And a decade from now, when I might be writing something like this while using one, we may see this announcement as important as the original iPhone.

I know that sounds like me buying into mindless tech hype, which is something I’ve been guilty of before. I freely admit that I am not qualified to judge what technology is overhyped and what will truly change the world. So, do not take me as an expert in that regard.

However, I’ve seen enough major technological changes and overhyped failures in my lifetime to see certain patterns. And with the Apple Vision Pro, I genuinely believe this will change how we see computers, virtual reality, augmented reality, and reality in general.

For one, this is not Elon Musk claiming that we would have a full self-driving car by 2017. This is a real, tangible product created by Apple, a company with a proven track record of disrupting major areas of the tech industry for decades.

Apple didn’t invent the personal computer, but they were among the first to create a user-friendly model for the masses in the 1980s.

Apple didn’t invent the smartphone or the MP3 player, but they created products that were so superior to the competition that they fundamentally changed the industry around them. If you need proof, just try finding a Tower Records in your area.

This is not a company that regularly to create strange, ambitious products that the public has never seen before. This is a company that sees what’s going on within an emerging industry, poaches the talented individuals working in that industry, and creates a product that goes onto dominate that industry in its own unique way.

You can certainly make the case that Apple’s tactics in this endeavor aren’t always ethical. They’re a multi-billion-dollar tech company. You don’t have to look hard to uncover some of their less savory practices.

But when it comes to producing a product that works better than anything that came before it, Apple is second to none. And I’ve been hoping for years that someone would find a way to perfect the many flaws in the virtual reality and augmented reality fields.

I may be dating myself here, but I remember years ago when Nintendo tried to create a VR gaming console called the Virtual Boy. I even tried it at a toy store a few times. I thought it was amazing, even though it was uncomfortable at times and gave me a headache. I genuinely hoped it was the start of a new trend.

But it didn’t happen.

Over the years, other companies tried to make better VR and AR hardware. I’ve used products like the Oculus Rift and the Playstation VR headset. They’re both good, but limited. They don’t do much other than run a few niche programs and games.

But Apple’s Vision Pro promises to do so much more. It won’t just run a few distinct programs. It won’t just be a novelty meant for a few specific tasks. In the demonstration Apple released, this product promises to integrate multiple features from multiple fields, from the stuff you’d usually do on a desktop to immersive gaming to watching 4K video content.

Even if you’re very skeptical about VR and AR technology, you can’t deny that’s a very different approach compared to others in the field. And you also can’t deny that Apple has a proven track record of making clunky technology work.

Watching this demonstration, I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to watch a football game with this thing. I also imagined what it would be like to play a game like Skyrim, interact with friends and family, or just relax in my bed while enjoying beautiful scenery and music.

I want to try this thing.

I want it to succeed on the same level as the iPad and iPhone, two products that have been a huge influence over my everyday life.

However, I’ll also go on record as saying that I probably won’t buy this first model and not just because the price tag is $3,500. But my reason for that has little to do with my faith in the technology or Apple. This is just how I usually approach embracing new tech gadgets, in general.

I was not among those to buy an iPod or iPhone when it first came out. That’s because I prefer to wait until the early kinks and bugs are worked out. And even for Apple’s most successful product line, there was a refinement period. Just go back and look at the features of the original iPhone. It was pretty limited in many ways. It also had its share of growing pains.

But over time, with further investment and refinement, it became more polished. By the time the third generation came along, it was so polished and so well-developed that that the value was immense, despite the inflated price. When I finally bought my first iPhone, it worked so well that it felt like a massive upgrade by default.

That’s what I hope will occur with the Apple Vision Pro. It may take several years. But eventually, it’ll get to a point where the software, the hardware, and the experience are such that it’ll exceed any alternative, present or future. When that time comes, I will gladly buy in.

Yes, I realize I may still end up paying a hefty price for the experience.

But if that experience means watching the Super Bowl in an immersive, 4K experience or reading comics on a screen that feels like IMAX, then I say that’s a price worth paying.

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The Rise Of Augmented Reality (And How It Will Spice Up Our Sex Lives)

I’m sure Apple fans are still basking of the afterglow from the techno-orgasm they experienced at the big September 12th announcement about the future of Apple gadgets. I can’t sway I blame them, either.

Apple events have a storied history of capturing imaginations, loosening wallets, and soaking panties. Love them or hate them, Apple is the 800-pound, half-trillion dollar gorilla in the room. What they do shakes things up. They did it with the music industry. They did it with the smartphone industry. They’re actively trying to do it with the TV industry.

Whatever Apple does, it tends to disrupt established industries, even destroying some. Just ask the makers of Blackberry and Tower Records. It does this while making a boatload of money in the process. Even those who despise Apple have to admit they know how to line their pockets with obscene amounts of cash.

Well, much like irresponsible celebrities that can’t resist spending obscene money on cars they never drive, Apple is never satisfied. It has to keep creating new torrents of cash and with the new iPhone X and iPhone 8, Apple is poised to tap another emerging market that’s ripe for expansion.

It’s part of Apple’s nature. It didn’t invent the mouse, the personal computer, the music player, or the smartphone. It just took those products, innovated like hell, and repackaged them in a way that blew out the competition and spit on their charred remains. Again, ask the spit-stained corpses of Blackberry and Tower Records.

In this case, the product is called Augmented Reality. Like music players and smartphones, it has been around for a while. Last year, it became a pretty big deal with the success of Pokémon Go. Now, Apple is ready to turn peoples’ collective awe at seeing a digital Pikachu on their lawn into the kind of feature that will blow the minds of users, as well as the money out of their wallets.

As part of the latest announcement, Apple has made clear that they’re going long and hard on AR with their new breed of iPhones. Yes, I know that sounds way raunchier than it should. Then again, this is a blog that talks about sexy novels and pro-nudity superheroes so that should surprise no one.

I chose those terms for a reason too because whenever Apple gets involved in an industry, that industry tends to go through rapid expansion. Along the way, that expansion will affect our sex lives and our love lives. If you don’t believe that, then you’re grossly underestimating how many people use Tinder or how many people watch porn on their phones.

The precedent is already there. Back in 2013, Google tried to give AR a boost with their goofy-looking Google Glass. Naturally, the first instinct for some users was to make porn with it. One major porn studio went so far as to cast real porn stars for a true, AR porn experience. It wasn’t quite as sexy as it sounds, but it got the ball rolling.

While Google Glass failed, Apple will likely succeed. Four years of refinement, coupled with the success of Pokemon Go, means AR will find all sorts of new uses and some of those uses will be pornographic. Even tough Apple has a long-standing policy against porn, that has not and will not stop people from using its products to make sexy content.

It’s hard to say what form that content will make, but with VR porn already a thing, it’s going to find some way to enter the market. AR is special in that it blurs the line between the real world and the digital world without having to wear those goofy-looking Google Glasses. Porn, being a fantasy, thrives on blurring those lines.

Think of your favorite porn star and celebrity. Don’t deny it. You probably have one. You’ve probably even watch ed them do all sorts of sexy stuff on your computer screen. That sexy stuff has probably gotten you horny and given you an orgasm. Now, imagine that sexy stuff taking place on more than just a computer screen.

With AR, you’ll be able to create the kinds of experiences that make it seem as though your favorite porn star or celebrity is right in your bedroom, office, or car, if you’re feeling kinky. Just hold your phone up and suddenly, they’re there, wearing the sexiest underwear you’ve ever seen and saying the kind of dirty stuff that would get them fined by the FCC.

That’s the potential AR can have. It can create more than just sexy imagery. It can make us feel like we’re part of the action. Suddenly, we’re not just peering through a digital window. We get to be part of the process. If you don’t think that appeals to some people, then you’re underestimating how kinky our minds can be.

Beyond the porn industry, and it’s sometimes hard to get beyond a multi-billion dollar industry, AR can do many other wonders for your sex life. To explain how, I’ll need to recount some of the more awkward moments from our collective sex lives. I apologize for this, but I’m afraid it’s necessary.

Think back to the first time you had sex. If that’s too hard or distressing, think back to the least satisfying sexual experience you’ve had. For some people, this will be painfully easy. What was it about your partner that made it so unsatisfying? What did you do that just didn’t seem to work? Did it feel like you and your lover’s body just weren’t on the same page or even the same zip code?

Well, AR could’ve prevented this because, like I said, AR blurs the line between the digital world and the real world. With AR, you don’t have to learn about the intricacies of the male or female body through a poorly-worded, poorly-drawn textbook that was given to you by a pastor, mullah, rabbi, or celibate monk. Even if you live in Texas, you have access to a more comprehensive understanding of the human body.

It even goes beyond knowing where a clitoris is. What if, before you got frisky with your lover, you could “practice” with a digital version? Say there’s an app that can take a picture of your lover, impose it over your phone like Pokemon Go, and let you get comfortable talking dirty to them. If you think that won’t have an impact on your sex life, then I think you’re underestimating the power of dirty talk.

AR basically gives people their own private domain, of sorts, to refine their intimate skills and their knowledge of human anatomy. That means those awkward moments you have when you and your lover first get naked are a lot less awkward. That means you have a bit more comfort and confidence when the time comes to get intimate. That’s as big a net positive as you’ll find for your sex life without bionic genitals.

Even if you already have a lover, AR means you’ll be able to do more than just send dirty texts and explicit nudes. Once AR becomes more refined, nudes just won’t cut it. You’d much rather have an image of your naked lover imposed in the chair right next to you. If nothing else, that’ll make meetings at the office less boring.

These are just some of the possibilities. There are likely many more that I haven’t even thought of, but others have contemplated. I like to think my experience writing erotica/romance novels has given me a pretty keen sense on these kinds of sexy issues. Unfortunately, there are limits to that insight.

Technology has always impacted our sex lives to some extent and will likely continue to do so for years to come. A technology like AR that is just starting to grow, thanks largely to Apple, means that change will come sooner rather than later. Yes, I know that’s another poor choice of words, but I challenge anyone to think of a more fitting vision for AR’s sexy future.

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Filed under sex robots, Sexy Future