Every now and then, you encounter an incredibly insightful, rhetorically beautiful, and philosophically perfect collection of words that truly resonates with every fiber of your being. You don’t expect it. You weren’t even searching for it, but somehow you still found it. And the more you think about it, the more you realize just what an incredible influx of wisdom you’ve gained. It may very well be the kind of wisdom that you carry with heart, pride, and honor until you draw your last breath.
That’s exactly what I felt when I watched “Team America: World Police” the first time. I know I’m prone to exaggerate and speak in hyperbole, both on this site and on my YouTube Channel, but I am dead serious when I say that this might be one of the single most brilliant manifestations of cinema in human history. This is, without a doubt, the kind of art that will transcend generations, cultures, language, and trends.
The fact that it involves gratuitous puppet sex is just a bonus.
But it isn’t just the story, the characters, the fake vomit, and the mind-expanding message that makes “Team America: World Police” a modern masterpiece. The true extent of this movie’s greatness is perfectly distilled in a single speech that, beyond any shadow of a doubt, is the single greatest speech in movie history in terms of sheer philosophical weight.
If you haven’t seen it yet, I encourage you to brace yourself. Because you will not be the same person after you hear this speech.
Take a moment to let your mind and body process this overwhelming surge of revelatory wisdom. Go for a walk. Take some deep breaths. Meditate for a few hours if you have to. I understand. Believe me, I do. Our limited human minds can only ever struggle to comprehend such brilliance.
Once your fragile psyche has caught up to this newfound understanding of the human condition, I only ask that you use such wisdom wisely. Having heard it, you are now in a new state of mind. Your world will never be the same, but in the best possible way. What you do from here on out and how you choose to utilize this profound realization you now possess is entirely up to you.
As for me, I don’t know how many years I’ll live in this crazy world. I just know that when my time comes, I want these profound words etched on my tombstone.
There’s three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. And if they didn’t fuck the assholes, you know what you’d get? You’d get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!
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